Then he had to go and spoil it all shouting at Ellie. He felt disgusted with himself when he thought of the frightened look on her face and remembered when he had first seen her look like that.
When she was a skinny little girl with bare feet and a tattered frock, crying because lads had taken her ma’s washing. But then he was the one who had taken the frightened look away by getting the washing back for her and chasing the lads.
He walked more slowly as he thought of those days. Carrying the washing for her and sitting in the corner by the shippon sharing the bits of food people gave her. The time when he had done well with his papers and bought a Wet Nella for each of them. The square heavy cakes made of breadcrumbs doused in treacle were very filling and Ellie had said, ‘Oh Sam, I feel real full,’ when she finished it. She sounded surprised. Not often she felt like that, poor kid, Sam thought now.
He’d meant to treat her often and look after her but then he’d seen that jar of jam outside a shop, ruby red with the light shining through it. He’d snatched it up – couldn’t help it somehow – then run right into Dusty Miller the scuffer.
That was it. Five years in the reform school at Heswall, then when he was fifteen signed on a ship – no choice. His first ship torpedoed too and three days in an open boat.
Sam had reached a field where an old white horse came to the fence to blow in his face. He stroked it and rested for a while and when he set off again he thought again about Ellie. Ellie! The way she whispered her name to him that first day he’d thought that was what she’d said and she let him go on calling her that, too shy to tell him it should be Nellie.
She was so different to any other girl, he thought. All the kids he knew were tough – had to be – and Ellie had had a worse life than most of them yet somehow it never toughened her up. Maybe because she was kept indoors as a drudge and a punchbag for that old cow, her ma, or maybe she’d just had all the spirit knocked out of her. And now she was his wife and it was up to him to look after her.
He walked more slowly as he tried to remember the night when old Janey had waylaid him outside the Volunteer. I was half fuddled, he thought, didn’t know what she was on about at first. She nattered on about Nellie being ill and getting turned off from her place because of what another girl done, and her ma dead and her da backed off, then she come right out with it.
Something about if Nellie was married to me she’d be safe, or she might marry a fella who’d knock her about or even finish on the streets. It was all too quick for me and I was in a daze, like, Sam thought, but when I seen Ellie and she looked that lost and ill I just hunkered down in front of her and told her I’d look after her.
And now I’m frightening the life out of her with me bloody temper. It wasn’t like that at first. The old girl seen to everything then I had to go back but when I got the letter saying that Ellie was expecting I was made up. I thought I was a hell of a fellow, he recalled, and the fellows all pulled my leg. ‘Didn’t take you long, wack. Two nights,’ Buck Madden said and another fellow said Sam’d finish up like Albert Snell with twenty-two kids. All good natured though.
He was nearer the mouth of the Mersey now and the air was salty and fresh. He turned back his face darkening as he remembered the far from good-natured skitting at the Volley on the night the baby was born. He’d been half cut but not too drunk to know that they were making out he’d been tricked into marrying Ellie. Even hinting the kid wasn’t his. Calling him Soft Sam.
I should’ve battered the lot of them, he thought. But maybe the landlord had seen that coming. He’d been bundled out quick enough by him and his two hefty barmen.
Good job he’d been with Buck and George Adams on his next trip. Two good mates. George had told him babies often came early, two of his did, and they were small like Tommy, but they were healthy lads now. Buck told him them lot in the Volley were just trying to start a fight and he was right.
Tommy was his kid all right. Look at the way he took to him right away. Like Maggie Nolan said, kids know their own. He’s not like me to look at, Sam thought, but it’s just as well. A roughneck like me. He’s more like Nellie, in nature anyway, although he’s fair and her hair’s brown. His spirits rose as he thought about the baby and the softness of the child’s body in his arms.
He remembered something else old Janey had said the night she waylaid him. That he’d be getting a good wife and a home to come back to. That was right anyway although he didn’t trust that scheming old mare. Yet perhaps she was trying to do him and Ellie a good turn, getting them fixed up together. A home for him and someone to look after Ellie. The old one liked manipulating people.
Yet there was something, he told himself. Something he couldn’t pin down. The way Ellie would look away from him, couldn’t look at him straight, and the way she seemed afraid to cross the old girl. I don’t like being kept in the dark, Sam thought angrily, but then he thought that he was sure Ellie wouldn’t trick him. Yet why did she look so guilty sometimes?
Sam realised that he was nearly home, yet his thoughts seemed as muddled as ever. The only thing is, he decided, I’ll just have to watch me bloody temper, as he recalled the events in the market. He went into the house.
Nellie was sitting darning a sock but she stood up immediately and began to prepare his supper. The vase stood in pride of place on the dresser.
‘I didn’t go to the Volley,’ Sam said. ‘Went for a walk instead. Hasn’t half give me an appetite.’
‘Where did you go?’ asked Nellie.
‘I struck up past Seaforth. Past the Liver Hotel,’ Sam said. ‘You want to take Tommy that way sometimes, girl. Get him away from the smells round here.’
‘I will, Sam,’ Nellie said meekly.
Later when they were in bed Sam gently stroked her face.
‘I give you a fright tonight, Ellie, didn’t I? Shouting at you in the market.’
Nellie said nothing and Sam kissed her and held her close.
‘It’s just me bloody temper, girl,’ he said in a muffled voice. ‘It gets the better of me, but I’ll watch it from now on.’
‘I don’t want nothing to do with anyone but you, Sam,’ Nellie whispered, ‘I feel safe with you.’
There were no more incidents before Sam sailed the following Thursday and it seemed that his demon of jealousy had been cured.
Chapter Five
Nellie was sure that Sam’s passionate lovemaking would result in another pregnancy for her and she was disappointed when her period arrived as usual after he left. She hoped that it was because she was still breastfeeding Tommy and Maggie agreed with her.
‘Some people say it doesn’t work for them but it always worked for me. As soon as one child was weaned I’d fall for another one. Some women round here keep babies on the breast until they’re a couple of years old, just to get a spell before the next,’ she said. ‘Anyway, you don’t want to be dragged down with too many kids, Nellie.’
‘No, but I’d like one or two more,’ Nellie said. ‘So I could still keep Tommy nice and well fed, yet I could enjoy looking forward to a baby instead of being like I was before he was born.’
She stopped, fearing that she had said too much, but Maggie only said, ‘You’re bound to have a spell now anyway. Sam’s away for about a year, isn’t he?’
‘Yes. Tommy’ll be eighteen months old before he sees him again. I don’t half miss him, Maggie,’ said Nellie with a sigh.
‘Aye you’ve got a real good man there, Nell. He might seem rough but he’s got a heart of gold. He’s got real feeling for people and especially for poor kids. And he’s not so rough now either. Doesn’t get in fights like he used to.’
‘He’s got different mates now. Buck Madden and a fellow named George Adams,’ Nellie said. ‘He sounds a real nice fellow.’
Maggie was a happy woman now. Through a friend Johnny had obtained a job in a stables as an odd-job man with a steady wage. Johnny’s health had improved with the better weather and the work was not too heavy for him.
It was temporary but there was a possibility that it could become permanent and it gave Maggie a welcome respite from her dreaded visits to the ‘Parish’ and regular money for housekeeping.
The hot weather had a less welcome effect in that it encouraged the vermin which swarmed in most of the houses. Even Nellie and Bob had to resume their battle against them and the situation was much worse in most of the houses.
The women of the street spent most of the evenings at their doors and Maggie and Nellie often joined the group which gathered round Bella Edwards’ step.
‘We’re druv out be the creatures,’ Bella declared dramatically. ‘I tell yiz I dread going to bed. Between the bugs and me old man I don’t get a wink of sleep.’
Bella was a huge shapeless woman and one of the other women surveyed her. ‘Worn away to a shadder, aren’t you, girl?’ she said, amid laughter.
Like Bella, many of the women had had ten children or more and seemed to accept their constant childbearing philosophically.
‘Must be something they put in the beer at the Volley,’ Bella joked.
Bella’s married daughter Katy lived opposite to her mother and Nellie became friendly with her.
Katy Rimmer was a quiet girl totally unlike her mother. She had three children and she told Nellie that she was determined to have no more than four, and her husband agreed with her.
‘I made up me mind long before I got married,’ Katy said. ‘You know our Wally was walking down past them posh houses in Trinity Road one day and a scuffer chased him. Said people didn’t want the likes of him near them.’
‘But he wasn’t doing no harm just walking down the road,’ Nellie said indignantly.
‘Well, you know me mam doesn’t bother. Wally was dirty, like, and barefoot and his jersey and kecks were all raggety. Wally didn’t care, at least he said he didn’t, but I thought then that wasn’t going to happen to my kids if I had any. They’d never be chased because they was scruffy. I’d keep them clean and tidy.’
‘And no one will ever chase mine either,’ Nellie declared.
‘It’s easier for us, like, because we’ve both got good husbands,’ Katy said. ‘Peter’s different to the fellows round here, like your Sam. They’re proper men, like, nothing sissy about them but they’ve got a bit of feeling for other people. A bit of consideration,’ and Nellie agreed.
‘I suppose some of the women lose heart,’ she said, ‘with everything against them.’
Most families in the street lived a hand-to-mouth existence, only surviving by pawning everything possible on Monday hoping to reclaim it on Saturday. Many of the men could only obtain casual work on the docks. This often meant only one or two half days of work, even though the men had stood in the ‘Pen’ twice each day hoping to be picked out by the foreman.
The wives of men at sea were often in desperate straits when the allotment left to them was held up. It was almost impossible for women to obtain work.
In spite of this the women tried to keep each other’s spirits up and women like Bella could always raise a laugh. They all helped each other and shared what they had. ‘We’d go under if we didn’t,’ they said. ‘It’s the poor what helps the poor. Nobody else cares a brass farthing for us.’
The children, though mainly ragged and ill fed, were happy enough, never having known anything different. The girls played hopscotch or games with cherry stones, and swung on ropes tied to the lamp posts or played skipping. Sometimes two of the mothers on opposite sides of the narrow street turned a long rope for the girls to skip in. Often the girls were joined by some of the younger women who screeched with laughter as they bumped into each other in the crowded rope, or their dilapidated boots flew off.
The boys lived in a world of their own, running along the back-yard walls, playing kick the can or football with rolled-up newspapers and fishing down grids for coins. Often they hung around the docks, clinging to the backs of wagons to fill a cap with brown sugar from a burst sack or carob beans, known as ‘locusts’, to chew, until a shout of ‘Whip behind’ made them scatter.
Nellie found Katy a kindred spirit, as they were both determined that their children should have a better life.
‘Me mam thinks I’m daft because I’m learning my kids manners,’ Katy said. ‘To say please and thank you and that.’
‘I’m going to teach Tommy all that,’ Nellie said. ‘I feel ashamed now when I think the way I was when I went to me first place. I didn’t know nothing. I’d never sat at a table or used a knife and fork or cleaned me teeth or nothing. The cook Mrs Hignett said I didn’t know no more than a Hottentot one day.’
‘It wasn’t your fault,’ Katy said.
‘She didn’t mean it nasty,’ Nellie said. ‘They was all very good to me. Learned me what to do about everything, not just the work, and Mr Ambrose and Miss Agatha learned me to sew and read and write.’
‘You must’ve been in good service,’ Katy said. ‘My first place I went as a general maid and they didn’t know much more than what I did meself. He had a shop and they’d got on a bit, like. I had to do everything and I got worked half to death for five bob a week. Me next place was better but I left there to get married.’
They both borrowed novelettes from Gertie Drew although Katy had less time for reading than Nellie. Nellie had become friendly with Gertie, who was only five years older than her, and often joined her when Gertie sat on her doorstep in the evening. Mrs Drew’s bed was in the kitchen and from the front door Gertie could watch her mother as she slept.
When winter came Nellie went into the Drews’ kitchen to talk to Gertie while her mother slept. She was shocked at first by the bareness of the room but Gertie said quietly, ‘Me poor mam breaks everything when she has a spell on her. She can’t help it, doesn’t know she’s doing it, but it’s no use having much here.’
‘You’re a good daughter, Gertie,’ Nellie said impulsively but Gertie shook her head.
‘I’ve got to look after Mam,’ she said. ‘She was a real good mother to me always and after me da died we were all in all to each other.’ Nellie was slightly embarrassed by Gertie’s sentimental speech but she respected her loving and uncomplaining care of her mother. Sometimes when she wrote to Sam after reading Gertie’s novelettes she was tempted to draw on them for a romantic message to Sam, but her courage always failed.
She felt that Sam might think she was silly, especially as Sam’s letters were still only the stereotyped six lines.
Nellie was gradually becoming more self-confident in some ways although still shy and timid with strangers. She had made up her mind to defy Charlie West and not allow him to upset her, but several times when she saw him approaching she fled down another street. On one occasion she passed a group of men on a street corner, not realising until too late that West was among them. He pushed forward.
‘Hello, Nellie, how’s business?’ he said putting his arm round her shoulders.
Tommy had been toddling beside Nellie but she snatched him up in her arms, jerking away from West, and hurried away, her face burning as she heard jeering laughter from the men. She was shaking when she reached home and told Maggie about it.
‘Hard-faced little sod,’ Maggie said indignantly. ‘What was he talking about?’
‘I don’t know,’ Nellie wept, ‘except all them fellas laughed.’
‘Don’t let it upset you, girl,’ Maggie said. ‘I know that gang. Hardknocks and ne’er-do-wells the lot of them. Anyway, you tell Sam about them. It won’t be long till he’s home, will it?’
‘Just over a month,’ Nellie said.
‘Then you tell him, Nell. He’ll soon sort that lot out,’ Maggie said.
Nellie nodded but the more she thought of the incident the more she wondered whether she would be wise to tell Sam. She remembered his anger in the market. Would he believe that she had done nothing to encourage Charlie West?
She said nothing to Janey but she was sure that the old woman knew something about it from the hints she dropped. Janey had b
een surly and spiteful since Sam had gone back to sea and Nellie wondered whether it was because Sam had not mugged her from his advance note, or whether it was because he had shown such affection for Tommy.
‘The quare fella’s very sure the lad’s his,’ she said one day. ‘He might get a nasty shock one of these days. What’s bred in the bone will come out in the flesh.’
‘Tommy is Sam’s child. I know he is,’ Nellie exclaimed. The attack was so sudden that her eyes filled with tears although she had been determined not to respond to any of Janey’s hints about Tommy’s parentage.
‘Youse two are well matched anyhow,’ Janey jeered. ‘A whingeing little mare like you and Sam, the big soft ha’p’orth. He swallered everything I told him.’
Nellie sat with her head bent, saying nothing, and Janey seemed to lose interest. She returned to the subject several times though during the following weeks and Nellie found it hard to ignore her taunts, especially when she spoke of seeing Leadbetter’s fair-haired children.
The spring days were warm and Nellie tried to obey Sam by taking Tommy into purer air away from the smells from the gasworks and tannery and the match factory but she was nervous away from her own neighbourhood.
If she saw a policeman she was afraid she might be turned away as Katy’s brother had been and if she passed well-dressed people she thought that they looked disparagingly at her.
She was happier when on several occasions Katy and her children joined her and Tommy and they went to Seaforth Sands. It was a popular spot for the people of Bootle, not too far from home, and on sunny days the sands were crowded. A man with a ‘Stop Me and Buy One’ tricycle did a roaring trade in ice cream.
Tommy was at first nervous of the sand and shrank from contact with it but the other children encouraged him and soon he was playing as happily as they with it.
‘He’ll have to get more tough if he plays out in the street,’ Katy remarked.
‘Yes, but I don’t want him to get too tough,’ Nellie said. ‘I don’t know why all fellas have to be tough anyway.’
A Wise Child Page 7