I stopped, not sure I wanted to tell her what I’d been doing at Aunt Celia’s.
“Austin? You still there?”
I cleared my throat. “Yes.”
“What the hell did you want from her? Was it a sex change? Because if it was, I think it’s going to be a heavy blow for the female population. Of course, I support any choice you make, Oz, but I really-”
“I asked her for Mum’s ring,” I cried, if only to stop her prattling. “Okay?”
She was silent now for a while, but I let her process. Finally, I heard her breath deeply, “wow…”
“Where are you?”
“Who cares where I am, where are you going now?” Her tone was suggestive.
“Not there. Celia wouldn’t give me the ring.”
“What? That fecking witch.” Amanda, dear Amanda, was angrier than I’d been. “Why the hell not?”
“She said it was intended for Fleur and no other.”
“I’m sorry? Who gave her the right to dictate that?”
I sighed. “The person who put it into her safekeeping.”
“Oz, Dad was only doing what he thought was best. I mean, leave you two in charge of the important jewellery? No offence, dude, but I wouldn’t let you into Tiffany’s and assume you knew what you were doing.”
“Thanks for the vote of confidence, Mand.”
“Sorry, I’m just super pissed at Celia.” She sighed. “God, Mum’s ring would have looked amazing on Lily.”
I spluttered. “Okay, hang on. Who said I was giving it to Lily?”
“Who else are you going to give it to, numbnuts?”
“Well, I… I’m not getting engaged any time soon, I’ll have you know. Especially not to Lily, we’re not even dating. I don’t even know if she likes me.”
Manda cackled like I was the funniest human being on Earth. “Uh-huh, you keep telling yourself all the things,’ she said through her laughter.
“I’m serious, Amanda!”
Her laughter stopped. “Oz, whether you intend to give it to her tomorrow, or in five years’ time, you cannot tell me you don’t intend that ring for Lily Brewer.”
I was silent. I couldn’t refute it, but I wasn’t going to admit it either.
“Right, did Celia call for it before you blew it all and she refused to give it to you?”
“Yes,” I answered, “and I didn’t really have a choice. She was going to call Fleur and warn her I was going to propose.”
“She was going to… What? And ruin the surprise?”
“Yes, apparently girls don’t like to be surprised with that and like to practise their answer.”
“My left foot, they don’t. Well, Fleur might not. But, Lily and me, we’re of a kind. And trust me when I say, she wants the surprise, great big romantic gesture, something private, personal-”
“Mand, my self-esteem is taking a bit of a hit by repeating this so many times, but it’s irrelevant. I’ve got no idea if she’d go out with me, without even taking marriage into account. And, I can’t do anything without Mum’s ring.”
“Does it have to be Mum’s ring?”
“What?”
“Just…” She paused. “Look, let me handle it, okay? I’ll call you later. Be safe and let me know when you get back to school.”
“Manda-”
She’d hung up on me.
“Mad as bloody hatters, the lot of us,” I muttered.
Chapter Fifty-Three
Anne and I were sitting in the uncommonly empty Longbourn Common room, playing a very half-hearted game of Bastard.
“So, you still maintaining you don’t like Austin?” Anne asked.
I blinked, dragging my eyes from my cards and looking at her. “What?”
“Are you still telling yourself you don’t like him?”
“He makes a very nice friend.”
“Uh-huh, the fact that he is totally in love with you…doesn’t change your mind?”
“He’s not in love with me. He hasn’t shown me an ounce of romantic affection in months.”
Anne scoffed. “Oh, no, none at all!”
“Seriously, Annie, he hasn’t. We’re just friends, and that’s fine.”
“Is it?”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
Anne grinned. “You know, there’s nothing wrong with admitting you like like him.”
“It wouldn’t matter if I did, he already asked me out and I rejected him. How many guys do you know who are likely to ask a girl out again after that?”
Anne looked thoughtful. “Well, I guess you’re right…”
“What?” No, I didn’t want to be right!
“Well, I see what you mean. You can hardly expect him to repeat the sentiments now.”
I sighed. “No, I can’t.”
“Do you want him to?”
“What do you think?”
“I think yes, but I want to hear it from you.”
“Annie…”
“Come on, Lily, be honest with me and I promise never to bring it up again unless you want to.”
“Ugh. Let’s just say I don’t hate him like I used to.” I caught her look and laughed. “All right, I’m quite partial to him, but I can’t say I like like him.”
She nodded. “Fine, then.”
The subject changed and we were laughing when Jax and Austin walked in.
“There you are,” Jax said, smiling pleasantly.
“Here we are,” I replied.
I looked to Anne, who’d flushed and was avoiding looking at him, but she was smiling. Austin wore a frown that was much more like the one he’d had when I first met him; not at all like the Austin I’d seen in the last month or so.
“What are you guys doing?”
I pointed at the abandoned cards on the table. “We were playing Bastard, but we seem to have stopped.”
Anne giggled.
“You guys want to join us?” I asked, looking between Jax and Anne pointedly.
“Sure.” Jax smiled.
There was an exuberance to him that I hadn’t seen in a long time and he smiled at Anne constantly, even though she wasn’t actually looking at him.
Jax, it seemed, was stuck talking to me while Anne and Austin barely contributed to the conversation. Not that I had any idea what we were talking about; my mouth seemed to be on autopilot while I was busy staring at Austin.
Anne’s words were running around my head and I couldn’t help but look out for any sign that Austin still cared for me. I wouldn’t go so far as to say I wanted him to, or that I wanted him to ask me out again. I mean, I would have been very flattered and I might not have even said no, but I didn’t want him to…
Austin, though, didn’t seem to know where to look. He would look at Anne, me, or, most commonly, the table between us.
“How’s Amanda?” I asked in a break in the conversation.
“She’s good. She’s not going on her next trip after all, so she has Pemberley all to herself. She must be thrilled,” Austin replied, but his tone was somewhat stilted and his smile seemed awkward.
“She really hopes she might see you soon, Lil,” Jax added with a smile.
I was seriously expecting Jax to ask Anne out the whole time we sat together; he seemed constantly poised on the edge of blurting it out. The way he looked at her and spoke to her convinced me he’d never stopped caring about her.
Pity, then, that Anne seemed oblivious to it. I would have to have serious words with her if the boys ever left us.
Which, I was hoping for more and more as time went on.
Something about Austin was making me insufferably uncomfortable. I couldn’t tell what was going through his mind. He seemed distant and distracted. Although, what else I’d really expected after he’d had to save my idiotic little sister from the one person he hated the most in the whole world…
I let Jax and Anne talk among themselves for bit while I tried to work out what was up with Austin. We’d seen each other since he and Kate had
come home, and he hadn’t been so awkward then. Had he heard about the Liam incident? Maybe he’d heard about what I’d said to Hunter? Had something else happened? Something with Celia?
And, why does it bother you so much? I asked myself.
Honestly, I had no idea. I just wanted the happier Austin back.
Jax checked his watch and smiled at us apologetically. “We’d best leave you be. We told Williams we’d meet up for this History essay.”
“Of course, no worries. It was nice of you to stop by.” Anne smiled.
“Our pleasure, hey Oz?”
“Yes, pleasure.” Austin smiled, but it didn’t seem to reach his very grey eyes.
They got up and started to leave.
“Oh, hey,” Jax turned back to us. “Brickwell thinks we should have a picnic on the weekend.”
“He knows its winter, right?” I asked.
Jax laughed. “Exactly what I said to him. But, he thought it would be fun.”
“All right then, yeah, sounds good,” I laughed. “We’ll be there.”
“Gem, Kate and Marie are welcome too.”
I looked to Austin, but he was just nodding.
“Okay, great, thanks.”
Jax waved and they left.
“Well now,” I said, leaning back in my seat.
“Well what, then?” Anne asked. I looked at her pointedly and she blushed. “Lily, I’m fine. If Lily Brewer and Austin Cooper can be friends, I can certainly be friends with Jax. It’s been a bit of a shock to have him be so friendly lately, but I’m dealing with it and I shall be perfectly able to deal with it a sight better from now on. We’ll go to this picnic of Brick’s on the weekend and I shall prove to myself and everyone else that Jax and I are just friends.”
“Just friends, my arse,” I scoffed. “You just watch yourself, Annie.”
“Lily! You can’t think I’ll let myself fall for him again?”
“I think you are very much in danger of making him as in love with you as ever!” I replied.
“Ha! Says you. What was up with you and Austin just now? You laugh at me and Jax being friends? What about you two?”
“We are just friends. I mean, he didn’t seem inclined to talk to me, or look much at me, and he frowned so… Do you think he’s all right? Why do you think he didn’t talk to me?” I asked her.
Anne laughed. “No, you don’t love him at all.”
****
My eyes flew open and I sat bolt upright.
“Shit, I think I do love Austin,” I muttered.
Oh, this was so not good.
My subconscious had seemed to work out what my conscious mind hadn’t been willing to think about it. And, it had come to the conclusion I might indeed be in love with Austin Cooper.
At least, I was very much in a way to falling in love with him.
“Well, it’s about bloody time.” I heard the smile in Anne’s voice as she rolled over. “Now, shut up and go back to sleep. We can talk about it in the morning.”
I lay down again, pulling the blankets around me comfortingly.
What did I do with this information? How did I act around him now? I mean, I’d always been attracted to him; I’d been more than happy to make out with stuck up, arrogant Austin. And, I’d made enough of a fool of myself when I would have been content to see him with his shirt off. What was I going to be like now there were emotions at stake?
At stake?
I laughed at myself. There was nothing at stake. Not when I didn’t even know if he still liked me. I mean, he’d disliked me just as much and seemed just as keen on snogging me; our physical chemistry had always been crazy. Just because he sometimes acted like he still wanted to kiss me, didn’t mean he still lov…liked me. He’d gone to bed with people he liked less…
Why did I have to tell him I’d never love him? Why did I have to turn him down so badly? There might have still been a chance if I hadn’t behaved like such a muppet.
“God, what have I done?”
“Nothing that bad,” Anne mumbled. “We’ll sort it on the weekend. Operation ‘See if Oz still loves Lily’ is a go!”
“No, we don’t-”
“We do and we are. Now, shut up and let me sleep.”
“Sorry. Night, Annie.”
“Pfft. You need sleep too. Austin won’t want you if you like an old bag.”
I laughed and let her get back to sleep. It took me slightly longer, with my mind stuck on Austin, but finally I fell into a comfortable sleep where I dreamt not so chaste dreams of Austin and his stormy grey eyes.
Chapter Fifty-Four
“She’s still staring at you,” Jax whispered.
“What?” I asked, turning around in time to see Lily look hurriedly away.
“I don’t know why you don’t just go and talk to her.”
I stretched my neck. “Because I can’t. Not yet.”
“What do you have planned, brother?” Jax asked, sounding terribly excited.
“Nothing.” I frowned.
“Nothing? You don’t usually have nothing planned. Aren’t you going to declare your undying love for her and give her Mum’s ring?”
I looked at him. “Have you been talking to Amanda?”
He grinned. “So, it’s true!”
“Her and her bloody big mouth.”
Jax laughed and clapped me on the back.
“Dude, no. I’m not proposing to Lily. Like I told our big-mouthed sister, I don’t even know if she’ll date me. Plus, you don’t just propose to people. There’s meant to be the months or years of dating first.”
Jax shrugged and stuffed a sandwich into his mouth. “Dad didn’t need months of dating, and look how that turned out.”
“I’m not Dad and Lily isn’t Mum.”
Jax just shrugged again and I sighed, knowing it was pointless to try to argue with him.
“Why don’t you go and talk to her? See how she feels?”
“I can’t.”
“I won’t bother asking why when you’re in a mood. But, I will say that you’re not going to know by avoiding her.”
We both looked at Lily. She was in the process of sitting on the bench next to Anne, but missed the seat and fell on the grass. Anne lost it, laughing as she and Kate helped Lily up.
“Speaking of, when are you planning on talking to Anne? I thought it was going to be the other day? Was that not why we went to Longbourn?”
Jax grinned as though he had a plan. “It’s not the right time, yet.”
“You’re mad,” I said, shaking my head.
“Madly in love, maybe. At least I’m not a pansy about it.”
I thumped him, but let Lucas have my attention and Jax went to talk to Anne.
Jax barely left Anne’s side for the rest of the picnic; they talked and laughed like they’d used to, only there was much less of Anne’s previous hesitation. I could easily see now how much she liked him, and I was embarrassed to realise I would have seen it before if I hadn’t been such a numpty about everything.
As fate would have it, I didn’t even have to try to avoid Lily; someone always seemed to have my attention. But, that didn’t stop me looking at her. And, I found her looking at me as often as I looked at her. I couldn’t tell what was going on in that pretty little head of hers. She looked worried and annoyed, but Kate seemed to be able to pull her out of whatever was running through her mind.
I was pleased to see her and Kate seemed close. I’d been worried how Lily was going to react to her, but, if anything, they looked closer and much more genuinely affectionate than they’d ever been. I’d heard about Anders’ visit. It seemed that, now at least, Kate had been set to rights on that matter.
I did find myself next to Lily at one point.
“Hi,” she said, seeming nervous.
“Hi,” I replied, feeling just as nervous.
I wasn’t sure why I would be nervous around Lily really. I mean, I’d liked her basically the whole time I’d known her and that hadn’t stopped me
being charming and calm, or an arse. Now, though, I felt all sorts of confused.
I guessed it was because, for once, I couldn’t guess what she was thinking.
Almost since the first time I’d met her, I’d been able to at least hazard a guess at what she was thinking; she’d been attracted to me but thought I was awful, she’d been attracted to me and hated me, she’d been attracted to me and been unsure about me, then I thought she’d been attracted to me and falling for me.
But, this? I had no idea what this was…
And, yes, I am quite aware how arrogant I sound when I say I knew she was attracted to me. But really, it’s not like the strength of our physical attraction hadn’t been obvious to everyone.
“Nice day for it.”
“Yeah,” I replied, “cold, but nice.”
I saw Williams look at us with interest and I wondered how he felt about Lily. When he gave me his patented ‘tap that!’ look, I decided that whatever he had felt about her, it had passed.
I smiled at him ruefully and shook my head. Turning to Lily, I saw she was looking at me. She seemed to study me intently.
“Do I have something in my teeth?” I asked.
“What?” She blinked. “Oh, no. Sorry…” She smiled self-consciously.
We stood in silence for a few minutes until Lucas demanded I play some guitar and Brickwell wanted ‘We Are the Champions’ again.
I gave her a smile.
“Go on then,” she said, nudging me.
“You-”
“Lily!” Kate called, waving Lily over to join her and Gemma.
“Just a sec.” She touched my arm, then walked over to them.
I watched her go until Lucas yelled, “Oz!”
“Yeah, yeah. Want, want, want. Why doesn’t one of you learn an instrument?” I asked them as I picked up my guitar.
****
My phone buzzed and I pulled it out of my pocket.
Amanda: Where are you? I’ve just pulled in. Have something for you.
Me: Rosings common room, want me to come to you?
Amanda: Nah, be there in a few minutes.
Me: Okay. See you soon.
“What was that?” Jax asked, trying to look over my shoulder.
Netherfield Prep: A Modern Reimagining of Jane Austen's 'Pride & Prejudice' Page 35