by Karin Baine
The concern she saw and heard from him sent her heart fluttering and she leaned into his touch.
‘I’m fine. It’s just a check-up.’
‘Do you want me to come with you? I could move a few things around—’
‘Honestly, there’s nothing to worry about, but I don’t want to miss the appointment. We really should get moving.’
‘You want me to go?’ He pulled her in for another one of those deliciously long and passionate kisses she was trying—and failing—to deny herself.
‘No, but if you don’t I’ll never leave this bed.’
‘Is that such a bad thing?’ He was kissing his way down her throat now and nibbling away at her defences.
She gave it considerable thought and came to the conclusion that she’d quite happily spend a lifetime in bed with Ed.
But could he spend a lifetime with her?
Georgiana wished she could live in his arms for ever and the pang of longing lasted after he’d dressed and left her bedroom looking dishevelled and gorgeous.
* * *
The news from the hospital sent her into something of a tailspin.
‘Complications...bone spurs...further surgery.’
One appointment reminded her that nothing was permanent and an amputation didn’t mean her health problems were over. Resuming her royal duties, training for a new job and a future with Ed could be in jeopardy and she didn’t think she’d recover from losing everything again.
It wouldn’t be as serious an operation as before. The abnormal bone that had grown around the end of her amputated limb was causing pressure points where it met her prosthetic. If refitting didn’t help, she was going to have to have surgery to remove the excess bone. The reality meant she was likely going to have ongoing problems and pain for the rest of her days.
She’d gone straight to the clinic to find Ed when her test results and X-rays had not been favourable. He was the one she wanted to go to. In keeping with their agreement, she’d let her parents know too but Ed was the one she needed to comfort her and tell her everything would be all right.
Although, this latest information might alter everything between them. They already had things to work out, when he seemed to have so little time to devote to a relationship. She didn’t know what this latest development would mean to them as a couple. So determined was she to speak to him on the matter that even when she was told that Mr Lawrence was at his parents’ place, Georgiana got her driver to track down the address.
‘I think I’ll be fine on my own,’ she insisted to her team when they pulled up outside the unremarkable detached cottage far enough outside the city she was sure she wouldn’t be spotted.
There was no sign of Ed’s car outside the house but she made her way up the path regardless. If someone was at home, perhaps they could tell her where to find him.
It took so long for someone to come to the door after she rang the bell she’d convinced herself the house was empty. Then a dark shape behind the frosted glass moved slowly towards her.
Thankfully she recognised the senior Mr Lawrence who opened the door even if he’d aged considerably since she’d last seen him. His body was thinner, his complexion paler and his bent posture gave away the deterioration in his health in the intervening years.
‘Mr Lawrence, I’m so sorry for intruding into your afternoon but I was looking for your son. Is Edward here?’
‘Miss Georgiana. How lovely to see you. Come in, come in.’ He shuffled back to make room for her so Georgiana didn’t see a choice but to follow him inside.
He pointed her towards the door down the hallway, presumably because she’d get there faster than he would. She saw the stairlift as she passed inside and wondered why on earth they wouldn’t move somewhere all on one level when he clearly had mobility issues.
‘Marg. Miss Georgiana has come to visit,’ he called ahead to warn of her appearance.
When Georgiana walked into the unbearably warm lounge she found Mrs Lawrence struggling out of her armchair. ‘There’s no need to get up. I just came to see if Edward was here.’
‘Sit down and I’ll go and put the kettle on. You just missed him. He was over earlier doing a few errands for us. We can’t get about as much as we used to. Edward’s a good boy. He’s gone to pick up our prescriptions from the chemist.’
‘Will he be back?’ Georgiana followed her into the kitchen, where Mr Lawrence was pulling laundry out of the washing machine into a basket. The effort making him wheeze breathlessly.
‘Let me do that for you,’ she said, unable to stand by and watch without offering a helping hand.
‘It’s fine. I’ll leave it there for our Edward. He’ll peg it out for us when he comes back.’ He straightened up as much as he could.
‘Edward clearly takes very good care of you both.’ She knew Ed wouldn’t consider helping out a chore at all. It was apparent how much he loved his parents and he would do anything for them. But care for two elderly parents was a lot for one person to take on—could she really add to that?
‘Oh, yes. He’s always here for us. I wish we didn’t have to rely on him so much, but age is getting the better of us these days. He’s such a good son.’ Mrs Lawrence fussed around getting her best china out and piling a selection of biscuits onto a plate.
Georgiana nodded as sadness wrapped her in its embrace. Ed had a full life. There for anyone who needed him but it didn’t seem fair asking him to make room for her too. Especially when she was facing another surgery and an uncertain future. What if he was with her, caring for her, and something happened to his parents? Would he ever forgive her for diverting his focus? She wouldn’t be able to live with herself knowing she’d caused him any unnecessary pain.
Mrs Lawrence let her husband carry the tea tray into the lounge. Georgiana followed with an even heavier heart than the one she’d arrived with.
* * *
She made small talk with his parents while they drank their tea and even forced down a biscuit to keep them happy. Though it was hard to swallow down along with the realisation of the situation. Ed was a man devoted to his parents and his patients. He had precious little time as it was and, when she faced potentially numerous health problems for the rest of her life, as much as it pained her, she couldn’t expect him to dedicate any of that time to her.
‘It was lovely to meet you both. Sorry I missed Edward but I really should be going.’ She got to her feet, ready to escape the suburban life Ed enjoyed and she knew she could never have.
When Ed’s father made an attempt to get up from his chair she held up a hand to stop him. ‘Don’t trouble yourself. I can let myself out. Thank you for your hospitality.’
They said their goodbyes and she promised to pass on their best wishes to her parents before she was able to finally make her way out. Only to find Ed pulling up outside the front of the house.
He got out of his car clutching a paper bag and wearing a smile on his face that unfortunately Georgiana couldn’t replicate.
There was no way of knowing how long recovery would take after her surgery this time around. She might have to adjust all over again. Now she’d met Ed’s parents, had confirmation he was stretched to breaking point already, it made sense for her to bow out of the picture. Especially when she was going to be incapacitated again for goodness knew how long. He already took care of everyone, his parents, his siblings, his patients; he didn’t need someone else to look after. She couldn’t add to that and she wouldn’t ask him to. He’d already given her so much. She was stronger and more confident in herself because of him. But she couldn’t keep relying on Ed to get her through. Some things she would have to do alone.
* * *
Ed was over the moon to see Georgiana. Leaving her bed this morning was one of the hardest things he’d ever had to do. Last night had been amazing, more than he could ever have dreamed of. Passionate, lovin
g, experimental were all ways he could’ve described their first time and he certainly didn’t want it to be their last.
Once she resumed her royal duties they were going to have to find some way of carving out some quality time together if this was going to work—and he wanted it to work.
Until meeting Georgiana he’d thought a relationship meant taking him away from his family, but he could see now he’d conditioned himself to be indispensable to everyone when they could survive perfectly well without him by their side twenty-four-seven. It could’ve been residual tendencies from his youth or a desire to spend the time with his parents that he’d missed out on when they were caring for Jamie, but he knew things had to change. It didn’t mean he loved his family any less. Georgiana had gone to a different country to get away from her parents, but with some space and honest conversations their relationship seemed to be stronger than ever.
He realised he’d fallen for her and these days he lived for the moments they had together. It didn’t mean he had to neglect anyone, he just had to make some changes to give them a chance as a couple. He’d begun with asking the pharmacist to deliver his parents’ prescriptions from now on, taking advantage of a service he’d never considered before.
He was also planning to speak to his parents about hiring some home help. Choosing non-essential errands over the potential of a new relationship with Georgiana wasn’t an option. Granted, good sex alone didn’t equate to anything long term, but if he wasn’t honest with himself about wanting a future with her he’d lose her.
He hadn’t realised that until today. If he didn’t take a long hard look at what he was doing with his life he could end up alone. He’d never been happier than when they were together. She represented parts of his life he’d neglected for too long—fun, companionship and love.
‘Georgiana? What brings you here? Did you need me for something?’
‘Nothing important.’ She didn’t seem as enthused to see him even though she must have come here to find him.
When he went to give her a hug she shrank back. It was such a change from last night when the only place she’d seemed at home was in his arms.
‘Is something wrong?’
Her expression shuttered. ‘We can’t do this, Ed. You can’t clone yourself to be in two or three different places at once. I knew the score from the start. Relationships come at the bottom of your priorities and now I... I’ll put a strain on you even more. The clinic and the charity are too important to let personal issues interfere with your work.’
She sounded so cold, as if she’d already made her mind up that this was over, that Ed didn’t know how to fight back. ‘Why don’t we go inside and talk?’
Georgiana shook her head. ‘I’ve just taken tea with your parents and, if anything, it’s made me see how much they need you. You’ll be better off without me making demands on your time too.’
‘My relationships in the past didn’t last because it wasn’t you I was with. I’m going to make changes, to make time for us. You know we could have something good. Last night was proof of that.’ He went to reach for her again but Georgiana stepped back. For the first time in adulthood he had a real taste of how it felt to be alone.
‘How much of a future do we really have, Ed? I’m next in line to the throne. When the time comes are you really going to give everything up to come and live my life? How can I even ask you to do that? How can I ask you to care for me if...?’ Her hand swept down to her prosthesis as she trailed off. For the briefest of moments, he thought he saw pain in her eyes, but then her cool demeanour returned. ‘We’re dreaming if we think one night together means we’re compatible.’
This time he did manage to catch hold of her arm and pull her to him. ‘Do you want me to kiss you again and remind you that what we have together is amazing?’
His eyes were glittering with determination as she wrenched her arm from his grip. ‘Don’t make me call my security.’
‘Oh, right. You’re going full princess now, are you? Now you’ve got your confidence back I’m surplus to requirements?’
‘Something like that,’ she spat at him and shattered what was left of his heart and his dreams of a future together.
‘So, this is it? You’re ending this on the doorstep. No discussion?’
‘We’ve had the discussion. You don’t need me being a burden any more.’
‘You mean you don’t need me any more.’ He’d watched her transform from that defensive, spiky injured vet to a confident princess in her rightful place. She’d always been strong, she just had to believe in herself. It felt as though he’d been hit by a truck, which then reversed over him to finish the job, discovering that she wasn’t as invested in him and their possible relationship. All the time he’d spent convincing himself it was in his best interests to stay single seemed laughable now when Georgiana was the one who’d decided she’d do better on her own. With his past relationship history he didn’t even bother to disagree.
‘You’re right. I don’t.’ She swept away from him, taking the whole new future he’d planned with her. Now he was the one who didn’t know where he belonged any more.
* * *
It had been days since Georgiana had broken her own heart. She’d put on a stellar performance, pretending to Ed she didn’t care enough to continue with their relationship, until she’d got home. Then she’d locked herself in her bedroom and cried until there was a possibility of her drowning in her own tears. She’d wept for another life taken away from her and for the pain and hard work she knew she’d have to go through again in recovery. Most of all she’d wept for the man she knew she’d loved. And lost.
In the spirit of their new, open relationship she’d confided in her mother about the operation she was due to undergo and what had happened with Ed.
‘It’s a shame things didn’t work out. Mr Lawrence is a lovely man but it’s important that you’re happy, Georgiana. Although, at this moment in time you don’t look particularly happy,’ her mother had said when she’d literally cried on her shoulder over the break-up.
However, she’d picked herself up and thrown herself back into work even if she’d lost something of her pep in the aftermath of breaking up with Ed. No, she wasn’t happy but she couldn’t carry on simply doing as she pleased. What she wanted wasn’t necessarily in Ed’s best interests. Yeah, it would be nice to have him by her side for her operation and recovery but at what cost to him? She’d get over him. Eventually.
Today she was setting up a new LGBTQ charity her parents had suggested to honour Freddie. Another new milestone in their continuing evolution into the modern world.
She was surprised and not altogether pleased to find out she had a visitor to the palace. It soon transpired her mother hadn’t been entirely transparent about her recent dealings and had set this meeting up before conveniently going off to make an appearance anywhere other than here.
‘You’re Ed’s brother?’ Now Jamie had introduced himself she could see the similarities in their build and colouring.
‘Don’t hold that against me.’ He laughed at his own joke. That cheeky sense of humour apparently ran through the rest of the family too. He was a good-looking guy and clearly had the family charm, but he wasn’t a patch on his older brother in her eyes.
‘What can I do for you? You said you’d been speaking to my mother?’ Georgiana’s heart was racing with desperation to find out what had brought him here but decorum decreed she play it cool.
‘Yes, sorry. I don’t usually do this kind of thing. You know, casually turn up at palaces and expect an audience with the princess in residence, but the queen thought it would be a good idea. I mean, do I need to call you Your Highness or bow or anything?’ He pointed at the crutches he was currently resting on, having declined her invitation to sit.
‘I don’t think we need to stand on ceremony if you have my mother’s ear.’
&nb
sp; ‘That’s only because I begged and pleaded with my father to make the call. It was a family emergency.’
That pricked her ears up and, anxious for the news that had brought him here, she asked, ‘Is Ed all right?’
‘It depends what you mean by all right. He’s still breathing and working as hard as ever but I think you’ve broken him.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘Usually all he talks about is his work and his patients. Then there was the charity and of course, yourself. Now we can barely get a grunt out of him. He even took time off to show our parents around some sheltered accommodation. This should be the happiest time of his life, getting some independence back, but he’s as miserable as sin.’
‘I’m not sure what you want me to do.’
‘I love my big bro to bits. I don’t know what we would have done without him growing up. He spent so many years taking care of us yet refuses to let us take care of him. Our Ed has a white knight complex. For him to make this change is a major deal. It’s not a decision he would’ve made lightly and I’m sure he’s done it for you.’
‘I know he does a lot for your parents. I didn’t ask him to stop.’
‘No, but clearly having you in his life made him think differently about how he prioritised his time. I don’t know what happened between you but I’m asking you not to give up on him.’
‘It’s complicated—’ Her surgery was already scheduled. She wasn’t going to tie him down by expecting him to take on the role of carer for her next.
Jamie rolled his eyes. ‘I’d talk to him but he’s stubborn. Short of staging some sort of intervention, pinning him to a chair and forcing him to open up about how he’s feeling, I don’t know how to fix him.’
‘I’m not sure I’m in a position to do anything.’ Georgiana didn’t know where the surgery would leave her in terms of physical recovery and her future. Her circumstances since their last conversation hadn’t changed, even if his had.