It is so dark and disturbing, and yet there is a warmth that shines through and echoes the video’s opening statement: that Billie and her brother will always be there for each other.
When Billie appeared on Jimmy Kimmel Live! she made it clear which event she was most looking forward to. “As cool as everything else is,” she said, “it’s the GRAMMYs. I’ve watched that every single year of my entire life; like, judging all the girls’ ugly-ass dresses.” She had been nominated for six awards, but winning them was a different matter. After all, Lil Nas X also had six nominations, while Lizzo trumped them all with eight nods. Then there were Ariana Grande, Lewis Capaldi, Taylor Swift, and Lana Del Rey—great artists, all with a chance of winning a coveted gilded gramophone.
The 62nd Annual GRAMMY Awards took place at the Staples Center in LA on January 26, 2020, in the shadow of the news of the tragic death that morning of Kobe Bryant, a basketball star who had played for the Los Angeles Lakers at that very arena. Many people paid tribute to Bryant, but the excitement and glitz of the show overcame the sadness that many felt. By the time Billie and Finneas arrived on the red carpet, the TV cameras and paparazzi were out in force. Billie’s outfit would be as talked about as the awards; in fact, so much so that the New York Times declared, “She had already won the night.” She did look like a million dollars in a green-and-black Gucci suit layered over a long-sleeved, sequinned turtleneck. Even her nails carried a Gucci label in two shades of green. Gold Gucci earrings featuring a gold lion head, a Blohsh silver pendant, and fingerless gloves completed the breathtaking ensemble. Finneas wasn’t too scruffy either as he walked the carpet in a floral Gucci smoking jacket with a floppy bow tie and buckle boots.
Billie and Finneas were among the stars to perform at the ceremony. Wearing matching cream suits (Gucci again!) they silenced the massive arena with an emotional rendition of “when the party’s over.” It was celebrated by many critics as the best performance of the evening, but of course, Billie and Finneas were not just there to perform. It turned out to be a night to remember as they each took home five awards—Billie becoming only the second artist ever to win all of the “big four” categories: Best New Artist, Album of the Year, Song of the Year, and Record of the Year.
It turned out to be a night to remember as they each took home five awards.
The trophy-laden siblings even admitted that they were embarrassed to have won so many. “So many other songs deserve this, I’m sorry,” Billie said in her acceptance speech for Song of the Year. Then, as the Album of the Year was announced—what would be her fifth win of the night—she was spotted mouthing the words, “Please don’t be me.” After accepting that award, she said Thank U, Next “deserved” to have won, adding that Ariana Grande’s album had helped her during some difficult times. Finneas, too, was humble in an evening that confirmed him as one of the world’s top producers and songwriters, and he dedicated one of his wins to “all the kids who make music in their bedrooms.”
Finneas dedicated one of his wins to “all the kids who make music in their bedrooms.”
There is really only one award ceremony that is bigger than the GRAMMYs, and that’s the world-famous Academy Awards, commonly known as the Oscars. And guess where Billie was going next? For the red carpet, she ditched the Gucci for Chanel, wearing a cream-colored jacket-and-pants ensemble, pinned with diamond-studded Chanel logos and paired with “Cha” and “nel” fingerless gloves that drew attention to her long, black, jeweled fingernails. Fellow fashion outlier actor Billy Porter stopped her on the red carpet to ask about her favorite movies when she was growing up. “Babadook,” she replied, causing many to Google to check she meant the 2014 version. Well, she was only twelve when it came out!
This time, she wasn’t up for any awards, but accompanied on piano by Finneas she sang a poignant cover of the Beatles’s “Yesterday” as the Academy ran its “In Memoriam” tribute to luminaries who had died in 2019. Though many loved their version of the classic, Billie wasn’t one of them. She labeled it “trash” and said she “bombed.” She clearly didn’t enjoy the evening, saying that she wasn’t feeling well and that, in contrast to the GRAMMYs, she felt out of place among all the movie stars. She said she felt terrified and, unusually for her, was racked with nerves when called to perform.
A week or so later, at the Brits—the British version of the GRAMMYs—she was back among her own people. Billie was all smiles when she went up to collect the award for Best International Female Artist from Spice Girl Melanie C and laughed with Lizzo, who was yelling, “I love you!” from the audience. But she became emotional during her acceptance speech, explaining that she had been feeling hated recently (she was referring to vitriolic online posts about her), but said that the warmth of the audience had brought her to tears.
Billie online
When Billie was born, there was no Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram. By the time she was thirteen, no self-respecting teenager would be without an account on one or all of them, and she was no exception. She loved posting pictures of herself, making new friends, and relaying her feelings. Even before she was famous, she had hundreds of followers.
As her career took off, Twitter became an important channel for communicating with fans. Until it became impossible, she would try to respond to anyone who contacted her. She held little back, revealing her moods and her thoughts. Fans lapped up relatable posts like “stop being so cute sheesh im tryna get over u” or “command z my whole life.” Unfortunately, the messages in return were not always kind, and in March 2019 she decided she’d had enough—so from then on her comments have been limited to news and promotions.
Instagram was a similar story. She recalled having various Instagram usernames, including @riderofthewind, @dead.cow, and @disasterpiece, but by the time “ocean eyes” was out she had settled on the slightly random @wherearetheavocados (a phrase she once screamed when making some grilled cheese) and limited herself to following 666 people, saying she wasn’t a Satanist, she just liked the number!
Fans were united in their love of @wherearetheavocados, devouring the daily photos that documented the development of her style from normal teen wear to baggy hip-hop to Chanel and Gucci designer outfits. Some even adopted an unofficial fandom name of “Avocados.” However, in May 2019 Billie deleted the account and along with it every post. An @billieeilish account replaced it, but for many fans it would never be the same.
Billie now says that if she could tell her younger self one thing, it would be not to post online so often. In February 2020 she told the BBC that she had stopped reading the comments on posts as it was “ruining her life.” It was a sad conclusion for someone who had firmly believed in communicating with her fans.
The hurtful trolling was one more burden of the massive public profile that Billie had gained. Her triumph at the GRAMMYs was one thing, and the Oscars another, but Billie and Finneas had just released the theme tune to the new James Bond movie—the latest installment in one of the biggest film franchises in the world. It had been something they had long dreamed of doing, and they had made it clear to their team that they would jump at the chance. When they met Bond producer Barbara Broccoli at their show in Ireland in August 2019, it became one more ambition that they could make happen. Broccoli sent them the script for the opening scene of the new movie, No Time to Die, and it was up to Finneas and Billie to create something that she and James Bond himself, Daniel Craig, would love.
That was the tricky part. With a couple of days free while on tour, Billie and Finneas had hired a studio to work on a song. Nearly every artist records their music in a studio with state-of-the-art production equipment, but there is something about this setup that inhibits Billie and Finneas. They struggled to come up with anything. Only later, on a tour bus in Texas, did the idea for their “No Time to Die” take shape.
Billie reflected that consciously and subconsciously they had been trying to write Bond themes all their lives. This rings true as “No Time to Die” begins
with the familiar minimalist synth, whisper singing and lyrics of lies and deceit perfectly matching the seductiveness, secrecy, and danger associated with the famous spy. Then they audaciously introduce elements new to their music. There are guitar chord progressions, discordant brass, an orchestra crescendo, and Billie belting out vocals like a diva. To cap all these hallmarks of Bond themes through the years, the song finishes, just like Monty Norman’s original Bond theme, with a minor ninth chord. The song was a masterful creation, an original and unique homage to a fifty-year tradition.
Billie reflected that consciously and subconsciously they had been trying to write Bond themes all their lives.
Billie performed “No Time to Die” live for the first time at the Brit Awards, accompanied not just by Finneas but also a full orchestra led by celebrated composer Hans Zimmer and former Smiths guitarist Johnny Marr. The single immediately became Billie’s first Number 1 in the UK, as well as being only the second Bond theme ever to top the charts.
The single immediately became Billie’s first Number 1 in the UK, as well as being only the second Bond theme ever to top the charts.
The GRAMMYs recognized Billie’s recording achievements, the Oscars confirmed she was one of the finest performers around, and the Bond theme placed her among the great icons of pop music. She was rapidly collecting all the monuments of popular culture. Another was on its way. In March 2020 Billie became the cover model for American Vogue magazine, the most famous fashion publication in the world.
Vogue produced three different print covers of Billie, with a headline proclaiming her as “The Outsider.” Each cover shot was taken by a different leading photographer and features Billie sporting a different brand. Harley Weir took the Prada version, an intriguing close-up of Billie resting her face in her hands, her green hair and nails matching the Prada Linea Rossa jacket. The Hassan Hajjaj cover uses a portrait of Billie looking thoughtfully at the camera. Her black hair hangs down past her shoulders with the vivid green prominent, and she wears a striped Gucci jacket with a chunky chain of linked Gucci “G”s. The camera moves farther out for Ethan James Green’s half-body shot of Billie looking strident in a jungle-print Versace parka. A fourth cover was available as a digital-only version. This featured a fabulous lifelike drawing of Billie in a Louis Vuitton “Exorcist” dress by Nastya Kovtun. Billie selected the sixteen-year-old Russian fan herself from drawings she had posted of her on Instagram.
To appear on a Vogue cover—in a unique style of her own—was an incredible achievement. Billie had always loved fashion. When she had no money, she would cut up clothes and sew parts of them together to form new outfits. She even posted a photo of herself wearing a shirt refashioned from an IKEA bag. As she became more famous, she collaborated with Bershka, Siberia Hills, and Freak City fashion brands to create new lines. Then, in January 2020, she launched a line of T-shirts, bucket hats, a fanny pack, and oversized sweatshirts available worldwide at H&M stores with every item in the collection made using sustainable materials.
When she had no money, she would cut up clothes and sew parts of them together to form new outfits. She even posted a photo of herself wearing a shirt refashioned from an IKEA bag.
Billie’s environmental concerns were also at the fore when she announced her 2020 Where Do We Go? World Tour. She brought in the nonprofit organization Reverb to help foster an eco-conscious environment both backstage and in the arenas, with an ecovillage giving advice and resources stationed at every show. The forty-two-stop tour, featuring concerts at massive arenas across the US, Europe, and Latin America, sold out in hours. Those who were lucky enough to get tickets were in for a huge surprise. Before the opening show in Miami, a video played showing Billie taking off her shirt and then submerging herself in a pool of black liquid. In voiceover, she speaks out against both those who praise and who criticize her body. “You have opinions about my opinions, about my music, about my clothes, about my body,” she says. “Some people hate what I wear, some people praise it. Some people use it to shame others, some people use it to shame me.” In a powerful statement, Billie admonishes the sexist treatment of her and other famous women and demands respect and recognition of her humanity.
The video was expected to play before every concert in the tour. In early March, however, the global coronavirus pandemic forced the tour’s postponement. Breaking the news, Billie said, “i’m so sad to do this but we need to postpone these dates to keep everyone safe. we’ll let you know when they can be rescheduled. please keep yourselves healthy. i love you.” Many of her tour dates have been tentatively rescheduled beginning in May 2021.
Billie is now a massive star in every continent on the planet.
She has, however, promised she will be making new music in 2020 (how much will be released is less clear). Fans also still have an Apple TV+ film on Billie to savor. Acclaimed documentary maker R. J. Cutler has been filming since 2018, and for once, Billie has had little input. Understandably, she’s a little freaked out by this. “Who has that much footage of them that they’ve never seen?” she told NME. “I’m terrified.”
Billie has become a massive star in every continent on the planet, and her place in pop music history is already secured. Looking back on her journey to this point, it seems it could only ever have been undertaken by Billie—someone with her family support, with a sibling as talented as Finneas, with her boundless creativity, and with her don’t-give-a-damn attitude. Without trying to do so, she has expressed the emotions, anxieties, and dreams of a generation and found millions who are eternally grateful that she has. Along with her brother, she has produced some of the freshest and most remarkable music around and has maintained an unrivaled close connection with her supporters. Billie has the world at her feet, and it’s exciting to wonder what she will achieve in the future. She is capable of so much, but it’s clear that whatever it is will be on her terms—and Billie’s journey is far from over.
Acknowledgments
The openness and honesty of Billie Eilish and Finneas O’Connell in interviews throughout their careers makes them the most refreshing and interesting of musicians, and has made this book so much easier to research. Closer to home, I am indebted to Becca Wright for her enthusiasm, suggestions, and invaluable editing, and her ever-helpful and encouraging colleagues at Michael O’Mara, particularly Louise Dixon. I would like to thank Jeremy Martin for his insightful contributions, and my family and friends, who were always willing to read drafts and discuss Billie’s fascinating journey.
Picture Credits
Page 1: Araya Diaz / WireImage / Getty Images
Page 2: Steven Lovekin / Shutterstock (top); Invision / AP / Shutterstock (bottom)
Page 3: Nicholas Hunt / WireImage / Getty Images
Page 4: Frank Hoensch / Redferns / Getty Images (top); Amy Harris / Invision / AP / Shutterstock (bottom)
Page 5: Richard Polk / Getty Images for KROQ / Entercom
Page 6: Jeff Kravitz / FilmMagic / Getty Images (top); Rich Fury / Getty Images for Coachella (bottom)
Page 7: Jo Hale / Redferns / Getty Images (top); Roberto Finizio / NurPhoto via Getty Images (bottom)
Page 8: Jason Richardson / Alamy Live News
Page 9: Samir Hussein / WireImage / Getty Images
Page 10: Sara Jaye Weiss / Shutterstock
Page 11: Rebecca Sapp / WireImage for The Recording Academy / Getty Images (top); Jack Plunkett / invision / AP / Shutterstock (bottom)
Page 12: Chris Polk / Variety / Shutterstock (top); Chelsea Lauren / Shutterstock (bottom)
Page 13: David Swanson / EPA-EFE / Shutterstock (top); Rich Fury / Getty Images for iHeartMedia (bottom)
Page 14: JM Enternational / Shutterstock
Page 15: Kevin Winter / Getty Images (top); Rich Fury / VF20 / Getty Images for Vanity Fair (bottom)
Page 16: Kevin Mazur / Getty Images for Live Nation
Index
Academy Awards. See Oscars
Album of the Year (GRAMMYs), 204
&n
bsp; Alternative Artist awards, 196
American Music Awards (AMAs), 195
Amsterdam, the Netherlands, 83, 99
Anderson, Tim, 54
Annie Mac, 117, 144, 146, 153
Apple Music, 38, 41, 54, 77, 111
Apple Store, 132
Apple TV, 211
Armstrong, Billie Joe, 196
Artists Without A Label (AWAL), 38
A$AP Rocky, 28, 93, 120
Astronomyy, 32, 50
Atlanta, GA, 82
Auckland, New Zealand, 18, 75, 94–95, 168
Aurora, 19, 31
Austin, TX, 53, 102, 104, 129, 151
Australia
appears on Triple J, 95
“bad guy,” 164
Blood Harmony, 180
“bury a friend,” 142
dont smile at me, 69, 75
first to take Billie to its heart, 89
Florence and the Machine, 133, 138
Laneway Festival, 92
“lovely,” 107
“when the party’s over,” 131
When We All Fall Asleep World Tour, 169
“you should see me in a crown,” 119
Austria, 107, 188
Babadook, 205
Baby’s All Right, Brooklyn, NY, 179
“Bad” (Jackson), 95
Bad Teacher, 16, 25
Baird, Maggie, 14–17, 78, 91, 138
Baker, Alexandra, 52
Barcelona, Spain, 146
BBC, 53, 89, 117, 144, 170, 207
Beatles, the, 15, 129, 144, 171, 176, 205
Beats 1 radio show, 41, 105, 113, 168
Belgium, 143
Berlin, Germany, 83, 99, 143, 179
Best International Female Artists (Brits), 206
Billie Eilish, the Unofficial Biography Page 14