by Lynn Stevens
He quirked an eyebrow and pressed his lips together.
“She assumed I’d slept with him.” I took in a deep breath for courage and it did nothing, but I went on anyway. “It was a valid assumption even if it was wrong.”
He started to pull his hands away, but I tightened my grip.
“I didn’t have sex with him tonight. We were just … talking.” I swallowed hard and let the story out from beginning to end. “Eddie is… was my best friend growing up. I … have feelings for him, but our freshman year he broke my heart. Then sophomore year we… we were at a party. He’d gotten into a fight with his date and wanted to take the boat out. He was too drunk, and I didn’t want him to go alone. So I drove us out to a cove. Eddie kissed me … and things went too far.”
Aiden’s face paled, but I didn’t break my gaze.
“It wasn’t … safe. I didn’t plan on it, and he didn’t either. We were in our swimsuits. There wasn’t a place to carry anything.” I shook the memory from my head. “To be honest, it was horrible, but it got worse. After we had sex, Eddie laughed.”
“He laughed?” Aiden asked quietly.
“Yeah, he laughed, and he told me he always knew he’d bag me. He was just waiting for my … pussy to be ripe.”
“Jesus, what an asshole.” Aiden’s face flushed with anger.
“It destroyed me, but it didn’t stop me from loving him.” My voice was barely a whisper. I broke my gaze and stared at the rocky bank. I couldn’t look at Aiden when I finished this story. “Junior year, Eddie and I sort of became friends with benefits. Then last summer, my best friend kissed him at her graduation party and… I spiraled. That’s what the shrink said. I started finding ways to escape, mainly ecstasy. Beginning of senior year, I took too many pills and ended up in the hospital.”
Aiden’s sharp intake of breath drew my gaze back to him.
“I just wanted…” I dropped my head. Our fingers were still intertwined, but Aiden’s knuckles were white. “When I got back to school, I met Lily. She didn’t know anything about me, but once we started to hang out a little, she heard the rumors.”
“Does she know all of this?” Aiden asked gently.
“Yes.” I swallowed hard. “I told her everything because… I don’t know what it is about her, but I knew I could trust her. Anyway, I told her I’d never lie to her and I haven’t. Eddie and I … kept our arrangement. My shrink says I’m trying to prove to myself that I don’t need him to love me and I’m the one with the power. I think she’s full of shit.”
“So Lily saw you with this guy tonight?”
I nodded. “We were just talking. Nothing more. I mean, he did try to kiss me, but I didn’t let him.”
“You didn’t?” Aiden’s thumb circled over the soft spot on my hand.
“No.” I wasn’t lying, but I was fully aware that I wasn’t telling Aiden everything. If Eddie hadn’t just banged that freshman, I would’ve gone behind the boulder with him.
“Is it over with this guy?” Aiden’s voice softened to the point it was barely audible.
I turned toward him, tightening my grip on his hands. This might be the hardest question to answer, but I didn’t want to lie to him. He’d been great and I liked him. A lot more than I should. “I don’t know. He’s worse than any drug I’ve ever taken. I just … I can’t lie to you, Aiden. I won’t. It’s not fair to you.” I swallowed hard and met his gaze. “Eddie’s leaving for Georgia at the end of June. I want to … I plan on avoiding him until then. If he’s not around, I can’t fall under his spell. I don’t want to feel anything for him. I don’t want to be with him. I just…”
Aiden bit his lower lip. He didn’t try to pull away physically, but I felt him holding something back. If it was anything like I’d heard before, I wouldn’t be surprised.
“I know that wasn’t easy to hear.” I started to pull my hands away.
Aiden’s grip tightened. “No, it wasn’t.”
“You deserved the truth.” I pressed my lips together and stared at our entwined fingers. “I’m sorry if I hurt you.”
He let go of my hand and cupped my face. “Look at me, Miranda.”
I lifted my head and met his gaze. My breath hitched in my chest. Aiden glanced down at my lips, and I leaned in. His kiss was gentle and unassuming. It was like he savored being connected to me. I opened to him, and he did the same. It was slow, sensual, and so right. He pulled back and smiled.
“I get it,” he said. “All I ask is that you give me a chance. And stay away from Eddie, but just give me a chance here.”
“A chance?” I asked because there was no way he was serious.
Aiden nodded, his gaze locked on mine. “And I’ll help keep you occupied so that creep doesn’t think he can do what he wants with you.”
I rose on my knees, bringing Aiden with me. His face was tentative until I pulled him against me and kissed him in a way that bordered on an R rating. Someone yelled at us to get a room. Aiden chuckled and broke the kiss.
“Let’s go find Lily.” He stood and helped me to my feet.
“She’s still mad at me,” I pointed out.
He wrapped his arm around my waist, tucking me against him. “I’ll tell her I know everything. I do know everything, right?”
I nodded and breathed in his scent. Aiden smelled like apple cider and clean linens.
“It’ll be fine, Miranda,” he said, kissing the top of my head. “And as soon as we get near Eddie, I’m going to show him you’re mine now. Maybe that will keep him away from you.”
I squeezed his waist instead of lying. Eddie didn’t care if I was with someone or not. That had been made clear in the past. If he wanted me, he came for me. And I always went with him.
It was going to be up to me to stay away from him. No matter what Aiden said or did. This battle was mine.
Chapter Eleven
The theater had been trashed. Diane’s show crew sent me pics with a note of “good luck” that made me want to cry. They’d done most of the heavy lifting the night before, but I had to do the deep clean. It took longer than normal to steam the carpet and the seats. The smell of stale beer permeated the fabric. Well, not by the time I was done. It didn’t help that it all fell on me. Diane cleaned backstage and the dressing rooms herself. As much as I hated cleaning and vacuuming, I enjoyed the time alone. Dad never said another word about my AirPods as long as the work was getting done.
Music was my salvation. I loved discovering new bands, old bands, local talent. Songs held special meaning, and a great song touched the heart. Carly had taught me to love the music and how it made me feel, not just like the most current song on the radio. We had that in common now.
The last song I heard before I finished the day was “Barely Breathing” by Duncan Sheik. It totally fit with my Eddie issue. I knew what was going on, saw it perfectly, but I couldn’t stop.
I parked in the driveway and forced myself out of the car. All I wanted to do was nap before my date with Aiden. My body ached from a solid six hours of cleaning. I didn’t take a break and ate while I worked. It wasn’t fun, but Dad was depending on me and I wanted to prove to him that I was worthy of this job. Despite all the issues over the years, Dad was a good man. He’d done so much for Carly and for Luke even when they were being assholes. I owed him more than I could ever repay. I wanted to regain his trust.
The house smelled like roast and my stomach grumbled. Mom didn’t make it often, especially in the summer. I didn’t linger in the hallway or make my way to the kitchen. A nap was in order and so was a shower. My clothes smelled of sweat and dust and stale beer. I stripped as soon as I stepped into my room. Just getting them off made me feel cleaner. After a quick shower, I fell into bed and stared at the ceiling.
My mind started working overtime. Despite my exhaustion and the mild hangover, I couldn’t stop thinking about Eddie, Aiden, the party, and Lily. She hasn’t exactly forgiven me, but she was polite. Some of the other girls in my class said snide remarks that
they intended for me to hear. Aiden kissed me every single time. One of them, Amber the Asshole, literally hit on him even though his arm stayed around my waist. Aiden smiled politely then asked her if she’d ever met his girlfriend Miranda. That was probably my favorite moment of the night.
Eddie watched us. I felt his eyes on me all night. At one point, he was kissing the freshman he banged and staring straight at me. Aiden didn’t realize it, but he moved and blocked Eddie from my sight. Or maybe he knew what he was doing. Either way, I was grateful.
My phone buzzed on my nightstand. When I picked it up, I smiled.
Lily: Are we done fighting?
Me: That’s up to you.
Lily: Are you done with Eddie?
Me: I want to be.
Lily: You really told Aiden everything?
Me: Yes.
Lily: Okay.
Me: Okay.
Lily went silent, and I drifted off to sleep until my phone rang a few minutes later. At least, I thought it was a few minutes later. Guess I needed a nap. When I answered, Aiden was on the other end.
“Did I wake you?” Aiden cleared his throat quietly.
I sat up in bed and realized it was way later than I thought. Pushing my hand through my tangled mess of hair, I groaned. “It’s seven?”
“It’s seven. We can reschedule.” He sounded upbeat but there was a slight disappointment in his voice. “Or we can just hang out here. Tell me what you need.”
I climbed out of bed. My clothes were twisted, and I did my best to straighten the Twenty One Pilots concert tee and shorts. This was so not date attire. It was the kind of outfit the guy saw only after several months and a few sexcapades. But I didn’t have time to change and I didn’t want to mess up our date.
“Miranda?” he asked as I walked to the front door. I pulled it open and Aiden smiled. His eyes darted to my braless chest, then back up to meet my gaze. “Long day?”
I stood back, holding the door open to let him in. “Yeah. The theater was a nightmare, and I was the only person there to do the deep clean.” I closed the door and led him into the kitchen. “Want something to drink?”
“Sure.” He leaned against the counter and I could feel his gaze traveling over my body as I opened the fridge. “So are we staying in or going out?”
I turned and set a can of ginger ale on the counter. Aiden raised his eyebrows. “Everyone likes ginger ale.”
He popped the tab and took a good long pull from the can. When he sat it down, he grimaced. “No, we don’t. That’s disgusting.”
I took the can, finishing it off. “Let’s go out. Give me a few minutes to change.”
“Take your time.” He pulled out his phone dramatically. “I’ll just entertain myself with the dumpster fire of social media.”
I pressed a hard kiss to his temple then ran down the hall. Aiden was something else. He wasn’t pushy or angry. He was patient and understanding. I wasn’t sure how to handle this. My phone buzzed in my hand. I glanced at it and smiled.
Aiden: You look beautiful. And your ass looks amazing in those shorts.
Shaking my head, I opened my closet and looked for something suitable. Aiden was dressed casual in a plain black polo and khaki shorts. So nothing too dressy or too casual. I had no idea what we were doing tonight either. I grabbed a simple jersey dress in a pale rose that I’d never actually worn. It hung perfectly on me and wasn’t my normal black outfit. Black looked the best on me with my darkish hair. I wasn’t blessed with Carly’s natural light brown hair. My hair fell into the not quite brown, not quite blond color. The sun kissed it with golden streaks when I was actually out in the sun. So far this summer, not so much. It looked like the color of a dead mouse.
I hurried to my vanity and pulled it back into a messy bun. After a quick swipe of mascara and lip gloss, I was ready. I stared at my reflection, and I hated it. I looked more like Amber the Asshole than me. Or did I like that it looked okay and hated that I liked it? I didn’t want to change, but I wanted to be happy. I pulled my hair free from the bun and French braided it from the top left and down to the right. My arms ached after contorting them, but the effect was worth it. That was more me than a messy bun. I wiped off the lip gloss and replaced it with a darker mauve lip stain. That was so much better.
As I stepped into the hallway in a pair of rarely worn gold sandals, I heard the distinct sound of my parents in the kitchen. With Aiden. Guess it was meet the parents day. I started to hurry, but then I realized this was a good opportunity to see how Aiden reacted to my dramatic mother and overbearing father.
Mom laughed, and I could imagine her putting a hand to her chest. “You startled me, that’s all.”
“I’m sorry, Mrs. Reynolds.” Aiden sounded genuinely sincere. He never had to fake that. I liked that about him. He was genuine when he spoke. I hadn’t had to figure out an ulterior motive. It was nice for a change. “Miranda wasn’t quite ready for our date.”
“Miranda hadn’t mentioned she had one,” Dad said, his voice bordering on booming.
“Really?” Aiden said, and I wasn’t sure what I heard there. Nerves? Fear? Both would qualify when talking to my dad. I sensed a hint of disappointment, too. Crap. I’d screwed up again.
“You seem older. How do you know my daughter?” Dad asked.
“My sister and Miranda are friends.”
“Lily?” Mom asked. “I just adore her. She’s such a good kid, and good for Miranda too.”
I stepped in then. That was enough for the night.
“Oh, Miranda, hi,” Mom said, her cheeks turning tomato red. “We were just talking to your friend.”
“Okay,” I said with a smile turning my gaze to Aiden. “Ready?”
He just nodded and put his phone into his back pocket. I reached for his hand, squeezing it gently. Over my shoulder, I said, “Bye.”
“Have a good night, honey,” Mom said. Aiden and I walked down the hall toward the front door when I heard her tell Dad, “Thank god he’s nothing like Eddie Blake.”
“A snake is better than Eddie Blake,” Dad replied.
I choked on a sob but pretended to cough. “Sorry.”
“You okay?” Aiden asked as we stepped outside. The air covered us with a thick humidity.
I nodded. “Just a little dry. I only had half a can of that horrible ginger ale I love so much.”
Aiden laughed. He opened the passenger door for me and waited until I was in before closing it. When he got in on his side, he leaned toward me and pressed a soft kiss on my lips.
“What was that for?” I asked.
“I’ve been waiting to kiss you again since I dropped you off last night.” He smiled then leaned back into his seat. “Don’t worry. There will be more.”
I smiled and hoped we’d just go somewhere and make out. That would be great actually. Aiden kissed me like I mattered, and I wanted more of that feeling.
“Hope you like what I’ve got planned,” he said as he started the engine.
“Tell me then.”
“And ruin the surprise? I don’t think so. You’re just going to have to wait.” He laughed, and I reached over to take his hand.
“Do I have to wait for another kiss?” I asked.
Aiden’s face went pale then a patchy red as he stared out the window. I followed his gaze. Eddie walked toward the car with a fistful of flowers and determination on his face.
This was not good.
Chapter Twelve
I couldn’t move. What in the world was Eddie doing at my house? With flowers? Aiden’s hand tightened around mine. I wanted to say something, but what could I say? This wasn’t my idea. Jesus, Eddie hadn’t been to my house since we were little except for our hot, sweaty interludes. And never with flowers.
My mind did not need to go there.
“I’ll be back,” I said softly.
Aiden squeezed my hand tighter. “No.”
I pulled my fingers free, not taking my gaze off Eddie. He hadn’t noticed I was in the ca
r. His focus was on the house, mainly on the dark window of my bedroom. He pursed his lips as his step faltered. Why was he doing this? He’d been so clear at the lake.
“Miranda?”
I turned to Aiden and he leaned over, kissing me hard and fast. There was no doubt in my mind that he was proving something to me. But he didn’t have to. I reached up and ran my finger along his jaw. “I’ll be right back.”
Aiden pressed his lips together. I stared into his eyes for a moment, trying to convey what I felt. Confusion, fear, and a desire to stay in the car. I couldn’t. I needed to meet Eddie head on and figure out this game he was playing. Then I opened the car door and stepped in front of Eddie.
“Hey, Miranda,” he said, ducking his head shyly. He offered the flowers, a mix of carnations and wildflowers. Nothing like the single rose Aiden had given me. “I brought these for you.”
I wanted to take the bouquet. I wanted to wrap my arms around him. And I wanted to smack him. How dare he do this to me? For years, I’d watched him screw his way through Branson North and only come to me when he was in between virgins. This was just another ploy to prove I was his.
But I wasn’t. I never was.
“Go home, Eddie.” I crossed my arms to keep from taking the flowers and screwing up anything I might have with Aiden. The minute I accepted what Eddie offered, I’d reject Aiden. I didn’t want to do that.
Eddie’s arm fell, the flowers slapping against his thigh. “You’ll always be mine, Miranda. We have less than a month to live a lifetime. You’re going to say no, now?” He stepped closer, and I stepped back. “Seriously?”
“Seriously.” I took another step away from Eddie and toward Aiden’s car.
“He can’t give you what I can, and you know that.” Eddie’s face hardened, and he smacked the flowers against his leg. A carnation bud fell to the sidewalk. He didn’t notice or care. “You like it when I touch you, put my fingers—”
“Stop it.” My voice was barely a whimper. I squeezed myself tighter, trying to keep it together.
“Why? You know it’s true, Miranda,” he whispered. His eyebrows lifted and he licked his lips. “Think of all the places my tongue has been on your body.”