by Helene Gadot
Zak’s hand is steady on my back and even the vampire seems to sense my unease and steps closer.
The woman eyes me, her jaw hardening as she takes me in, anger flashing in her eyes.
I rear back, confused at her disgust.
Perhaps she’s the reason the three of them don’t want me as their mate. Instead of a weak and broken bird, they prefer this fierce and gorgeous mage instead.
She speaks a muttered word and the collar around my neck warms, making me gasp. I reach for the metal ring, cursing when it sparks against my fingers.
Fear, anger, desire, frustration, confusion, and amusement somehow all bombard me at once. It’s overwhelming and the emotions don’t feel like mine.
What’s happening to me?
What did she do to me?
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Allegra
PANIC JOINS THE OTHER sensations, making me claw at the collar, convinced something’s wrong with it. She did something to it.
Hands burn my skin as multiple people grab at me, whisper-shouting concerned questions at me.
It’s all too much.
Everything’s too much.
I hiss and stumble away from them, a strange keening sound coming from somewhere.
It takes me a moment to figure out the keening is coming from me. I shove my fist into my mouth to block it off, fighting to get a hold of myself.
Voices filter through to me, but they sound far away.
The woman curses. “Just breathe. Fuck. I’m so sorry. I didn’t think it would affect you this way.”
“What the hell did you do? Fix her.” Sterling’s angry voice makes me jump and curl deeper into myself.
“I can’t,” the mage says. “She’s going to have to filter it out and block you all off.”
“You could’ve given us all a warning?” Sterling growls.
“It shouldn’t be hurting her so much.”
Gavin sighs and steps into the middle of the argument between them. “We haven’t accepted the bonds. So it’s not settling and instead is overwhelming her along with how unused she is to having her collar off unless she’s healing herself from life threatening injuries. It’s all too much for her.”
“You three need to blank your emotions then. If you can get control, she’ll be able to as well.”
“Come on, Al. Breathe in and out. Slow and steady. Push the emotions that aren’t yours away. Focus on your emotion alone. Nothing else is real. Nothing else belongs.” Archer’s voice penetrates through the haze.
I reach out blindly and grab his hands. He squeezes back and keeps murmuring to me while I pick apart the differing emotions battering me.
I can’t yet determine which emotion belongs to which mate, but I’m able to pinpoint my own fear and jealousy and confusion. Those are mine.
The rest belongs to my mates and I don’t want them banging about in my chest.
I keep breathing in and out, forcing calm. My nightingale coos, lending me strength and helping me separate and organize everything plaguing my mind and heart.
Zak moves in close to me, joining Archer on the ground in front of me. “Almost there, babe.”
If I don’t get myself under control now, I’m putting us all in more danger. We need to get out of here.
I open my eyes and look at Zak. He’s always been the steadying force in my life. He’s my constant. My touchstone.
A forced smile trembles on his lips. “That’s it. You’ve got it. Ignore these assholes and their strong emotions and their secrets and focus on me.”
Humor helps drown out the rest of the clamor going on inside me.
Archer barks a surprised laugh, shooting Zak an appreciative glance.
I swallow hard, still dizzy and feeling clobbered, but I struggle to my feet with their help. “I’m better. I’m all right. We don’t have time for me to continue this breakdown. We have to get out of here.”
Sterling turns away from the fence to stare at me, his face set in stubborn and frustrated lines.
I ignore him and the anger he’s feeding me as best as I can, slumping a little against Zak, letting him help hold me up.
“Why isn’t this affecting you three?” I rub at my chest where I can feel them even stronger now, pulsing hot.
Archer presses in on my other side, shooting Zak a challenging glance over my head. “Because we’re only getting your emotion. And we’re used to having our powers full-time. It was just too much for your system all at once. It’ll get easier once you get used to it.”
Gavyn studies me for a moment, making sure I’m truly as steady as I’m pretending before he turns to his mage. “So the collars no longer work?”
The woman nods. “The downside is, if anyone removes it and then replaces it before I return, it’ll be back to locking your powers away. But you’re in control of them for now. Take them off, put them back on, it’ll obey you. Too bad the mage isn’t here or that wouldn’t be a worry.”
Gavyn sighs. “It’ll do. Thanks. We’ll see you soon.”
“I’ll move as quickly as I can.” The strange mage disappears into the night, along with the guard’s body, leaving the four of us standing there in awkward silence.
This was already hard enough.
As excited as I am to be reunited fully with my nightingale, the flip side is not my idea of a good time.
It’s going to make everything that much harder.
Archer winds his arm through mine and tugs me towards the dungeon. “Let’s get down below and we’ll explain. We should grab Tahira for the conversation.”
I frown. “Why?”
“We’re going to need her help.” Gavyn is the one who answers from his spot next to Sterling behind us.
“Her help to do what?” I ask.
I don’t understand what’s going on. Why is their friend who clearly has strong powers leaving them here instead of getting them the hell out?
Instead of releasing the dozens of questions trying to slip past my lips, I let them herd me back to the dungeon door after exchanging a suspicious glance with Zakar. He reaches out and grabs my hand, squeezing reassuringly. I squeeze back, inching closer to him, trusting only him and not wanting him to be pushed out of this meeting.
Just because he isn’t my mate doesn’t mean I’m getting involved in anything without him. He’s a part of whatever my mates are trying to get me involved in.
I glance back at the spot where their friend was, but she’s either gone or hidden, watching from those shadows of hers.
Sterling lifts the dungeon door, gesturing for us to climb inside. Archer finally releases me and climbs down first, leaving Zakar and I to follow with Gavyn right behind us.
Once we’re all packed into the small alcove at the bottom of the stairs, I drag Zak with me to the front. “Let us go first. It’s normal for us to return around this time, so no one will think much of it. We’ll make sure the coast is clear.”
Gavyn nods. “Head to Tahira’s cell.”
I step into the torchlight lining the hallway, eyeing the closest cells, but there’s little noise or movement behind their makeshift doors and no one has them open.
And the hallways clear, so I gesture for the guys to follow me and I hurry my steps, wanting to get to Tahira’s before anyone notices us. I want answers instead of questions from other inmates wondering what we’re doing out of our cells this late. And why Zakar and I are hanging with three of the new guys when all our interactions have been minimal if not straight out hostile since their arrival.
Tahira’s twig, mug, and herb door is closed, but I push it open and peek my head in, making sure she’s decent. Not that she’d care.
She looks up from the book she’s reading. “Everything all right?”
“I’m not sure. You have some visitors.” I glance behind me at the men hovering so close their body heat sinks into me.
Tahira sets aside her book with a sigh. “I see. Let them in, I guess.”
The guys push past me int
o Tahira’s cell, their brows rising at all the herbs drying on her door, the stack of books on her floor, and the charcoal drawings covering the walls.
She’s the keeper of the restricted library in this place. Everyone over the years who have smuggled or stolen books ends up giving it to her for safe keeping, trusting her to share it fairly. We’ve all read each of the books so many times, there hasn’t been enough demand for them lately, so most of them are here.
“What are you all doing here? Did something happen?” She rises from her makeshift bed.
So far, I’m ignoring the emotions still poking at me from the guys, but I’m not sure how long I’ll be able to hold them back.
It’s worse when they’re all together and surrounding me. I don’t yet know how to separate them. If I’ll ever learn that skill. It’s not something I’ve discussed with other Arcanes who have found multiple mates.
With Rowan, we could barely feel each other even after we accepted the bond since the collars kept our Arcanes smothered.
I shrug. “We just sort of killed a guard, they have a mage friend on the outside, and apparently they need your help.”
Tahira blinks. “I see.”
Does she? Because I don’t.
Anger sweeps through me and all three of my mates turn to peer at me. See how they like it.
Gavyn shifts uncomfortably before clearing his throat. “We’re actually here on purpose. Sort of. Though that part doesn’t matter right now, we’ll explain later. We’re part of the resistance and the plan is a mass prison break, but we can’t do it alone.”
I stiffen and suck in a sharp breath once Gavyn’s rambling registers.
They’re fucking resistance?
Things suddenly make so much more sense. Their secrecy, the way they carry themselves, the way other Arcanes here somehow have magically respected them when the inmates never respect anyone. Even the guards have kept their distance unless the doctor ordered it.
Is this why they’re so dead-set against the mating bond between us?
Or is it the lovely mage?
It doesn’t matter. I don’t need them to want me for my self-esteem. I hope they do have a happy life with their mage. It’s just the bond making me feel possessive.
I focus on what them being in the resistance means for my future.
If we’re getting out of here, they’re going to have to introduce me to the leaders so I can help with the fight. The humans who have done this to us need to pay.
For Rowan.
“What do you need me to do?” Tahira asks.
“When our mage friend returns, she needs your help removing the collars en mass.”
My eyes widen.
Everyone will be free?
Tahira raises a single brow. “And while everyone is recovering from their arcane sides slamming back into place the guards will kill everyone.”
Based on the way I reacted when the collar lost power, she has a very good point. Especially for others whose mates are here.
And I’m still a little fuzzy, but Zak ended up on the ground right along with me at first.
Even the other three needed a minute to adjust.
Gavyn shakes his head. “While you two are handling that, the rest of us are handling a diversion so that hopefully won’t happen.”
“What sort of distraction?” I ask.
Everyone collapsing might be a slight distraction, but a little too dangerous.
Sterling turns to me. “Whatever you used to make the doctor lose it. Those yellow flowers.”
I blink. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
It’s a reflex to deny everything.
Sterling scowls. “Now isn’t the time to be cute. If you have some way to make the guards hallucinate and then have to race for the privy, then we need to use it. That’s the perfect way to handle it.”
Tahira sighs. “It’s the seeds, not the flowers themselves. And we need to use a lot. It took three flowers for that.”
I gnaw on the edge of my bottom lip for a second before I decide to confess. “I have a lot of the seeds harvested already. In our cell.”
Zak snorts behind me from his position up against the wall next to Archer. He knows since we share a cell, but I hadn’t even told Tahira yet.
I’ve been gathering them for months. Ever since Rowan died. I’ve always had a plan for revenge simmering in the back of my mind. Saving the seeds was just in case I decided to go that way.
I don’t enjoy the expressions on their faces saying they think I’m either scary or crazy.
Or both.
“What?” I ask, crossing my arms defensively.
Gavyn rubs the back of his neck. “Nothing. Is it enough for all the guards on shift?”
I shake my head. “No. We definitely need more. But we can’t exactly go over to where they’re growing and pick them all tomorrow. One or two at a time doesn’t raise suspicions, but armfuls would.”
Gavyn paces back and forth in the small space of the cell. “Then we’ll each grab a couple whenever we can and add them to your stash every night.”
Tahira nods. “Don’t forget the guards like to search those of us who work in the gardens or kitchens, so the timing of when you gather them matters too. Thankfully, the flowers are small enough, they’re not too hard to hide.”
Gavyn stops and stares at the floor. “We’ve got a week until our mage returns and we’re trying this. And she’s getting a safe house ready for the three of you.”
“What?” My voice bursts out shrill and disbelieving.
I must have misunderstood.
Gavyn frowns at me, apparently not understanding the new wave of fury washing over me. “Well, we’re obviously not going to leave you to fend for yourself and we figured you’d want the two of them with you, so we’re making sure you have somewhere safe to go.”
Are they fucking serious right now?
Chapter Thirty
Sterling
ALLEGRA’S FACE TURNS a bright red at our plan, her jaw clenched, fists curled at her sides.
It’s the first time I’ve seen her angry.
Since I’ve felt it a couple times since Dara removed the collars’ power, it seems she’s excellent at hiding her true feelings.
Her jaw hardens and her hazel eyes flash green fire. “You want to stash me in some hidden place in the woods? And I’m supposed to do what?”
“Live free.” Gavyn sounds so sincere, clearly not reading her very well.
Zak and Tahira exchange a glance of wary amusement and settle in with relaxed poses and smirks.
Allegra takes a step towards Gavyn. “And what about all the people who aren’t living free? Am I supposed to just forget about them?”
Gavyn splutters, trying to recover. “Of course not. But what is it you want to do about it?”
I don’t need to feel the fire burning in my chest to know his response isn’t a good one.
“I know you think birds are useless, but have you considered the fact that I can fly and travel long distances faster than any of you? I can avoid humans. I can carry messages back and forth at the very least. I’m not hiding myself away. These people have taken everything from me. My childhood, my life, my mate—” She cuts herself off with a snap of her mouth.
Pain washes through her and me, drowning the anger and ire.
What mate is she talking about? Us? Does she think the humans are the reason we don’t want her?
She said she didn’t want us either.
Why is she so hurt by it? Has she been hiding her want and need for us this entire time?
I don’t want to experience her emotions. It’s making her more than the too-soft bird I’ve convinced myself she is. She’s angry and haunted and beautiful and clever and a little bit crazy and murderous.
Everything I could want in a mate.
Which is not good for me or our situation.
Archer’s brow furrows as he comes to Gavyn’s defense. “Your mates are right here. We j
ust want you to be safe. You’ve never gotten to experience that. And our lives are dangerous as hell. We didn’t want to get you caught up in all that. But we also couldn’t just leave you. Our Arcane sides won’t allow it and neither will our own morals.”
“I’m not talking about you three fools. And have you seen my home?” She throws her arms out wide at her sides. “Every single moment of my entire life has been dangerous. Do you really think so little of me that you believe I’d go into hiding when I could use my gifts to help?”
She shakes her head, her lip curled in disgust before stalking from the cell, her shoulder slamming into my side on the way out.
Fuck, seeing this side of her makes me hard.
And guilty.
And confused.
I didn’t realize she has it in her. That she has such fury and determination and bravery pulsing inside of her. She’s not just the skittish bird scared of her own shadow. She’s got a little badass hidden.
Gavyn turns his flabbergasted attention to the old mage. “What the hell is going on?”
Tahira darts a glance at the jinn with a sigh. “You aren’t her first mates. He was a lion shifter and they loved each other.”
Oh.
Fuck.
That’s what Allegra meant when she cut herself off earlier.
Archer releases a pained sound. “Where is he?”
Zakar finally pushes off the wall to join the conversation, his jaw clenched, his shoulders stiff. “Dead.”
The blow hits me so hard I almost flinch. Every single bit of information we get about this woman tears me up inside and makes me even more determined to burn this fucking place to the ground.
“What?” Gavyn’s voice comes out strangled, his eyes wide and radiating his pain.
Tahira releases a dark chuckle. “She’s not going to be protected, boys. She’s not the weak little female you three seem to think she is. And since you don’t want the mate bonds, you don’t get to decide for her what she’s going to do.”
Gavyn rubs at his chest, probably feeling the outrage and sorrow pouring into us from our mate. “We’re not trying to decide for her. We just want her to have a chance at comfort and safety. We didn’t know she wanted to be a part of the resistance.”