by Rayne, Piper
I kiss the top of her head. “Cereal?”
“Can you make pancakes?”
I smile at my usually too-mature eight-year-old who thankfully isn’t acting like an adult this morning. “Why don’t you help me?”
She sits up straighter. “Can I crack the eggs?”
I slide out of my chair and nod. “Yep.”
“Yay!”
I decide to make a big breakfast. Hopefully full bellies will make up for the fact I’m going to break some harsh news to them this morning.
By the time the hash browns are done, Mandi comes downstairs in what has become all she wears these days—flannel pants and sweatshirts. She leans against me, and I hug her to my side, kissing her temple.
“How was last night?” she asks.
I nod. “It was fun. Thank you for asking.”
She nods and grabs plates, setting them on the table. Nikki comes down minutes later and surprisingly doesn’t argue with her sister over the fact that she’s wearing Nikki’s sweatshirt. Hopefully that’s a good sign.
“Bacon?” Jed joins us ten minutes later and steals a piece from the paper plate.
“Can you get the milk and juice out of the fridge?” I ask.
“Sure thing.”
“I’ll get the cups,” Nikki says.
I look at Posey, who is manning the pancake station with a spatula that looks bigger than her head, and smile. In the year and a half since the divorce, we’ve found our groove. Then I frown when I realize I’m about to throw a boulder in the middle of the road for us. For a moment, I ponder just letting us have this day, but I worry they’ll hear my news from someone else.
Once we’re sitting down to eat, we go around the table and play a game of Guess Who. You tell three facts about anyone from a celebrity to a sports figure to an everyday person we all know and see who guesses the right answer. Although Posey and I sometimes play, the older kids stopped being interested around the time of the divorce. I chalked it up to them growing older and too mature. So it’s nice to enjoy the game with them again.
Jed finishes eating first, rising from the table and announcing he’s going to meet some of the guys from the football team at the movie theater.
“Wait, Jed. Can you sit back down?”
He places his dish in the sink and he must hear something in my voice because his eyebrows draw down. He slowly returns to the table, folding himself back into the kitchen chair, eyes on me the entire time.
“What’s wrong?” Nikki asks. She has every right to assume the worst. These family discussions only really happen when their lives are about to be upheaved.
“You’re scaring me. Is it about Daddy?” Posey asks.
I shake my head.
“Are we moving again?” Mandi pipes up.
I shake my head again. The words are on the tip of my tongue, but they won’t come out because I have no idea what will happen when they do. “We’re staying in Sunrise Bay. Hopefully we’ll be in our own house before Grandma and Grandpa return. Dad is fine in Arizona. I’m sure he’ll make his weekly call tonight.”
“Then what?” Jed asks.
Posey slides into the chair closest to her brother, and he puts his arm around her as though he’s going to protect her. The comforting move puts tears in my eyes because I haven’t seen that side of Jed since we moved up here.
“As you all know, I’ve been seeing Hank Greene for a bit.”
Nikki rolls her eyes. “We know, and I hope no one has seen you guys because he’s kinda related to you.”
I pat her hand. “He’s not related to me. He’s your dad’s cousin, which makes him—”
“Our cousin once removed, but not Mom’s,” Posey says.
I point at her, assuming she’s right. I don’t know why I always find figuring it out so confusing.
“Still, he’s related to us. It’s weird,” Mandi says.
All the children nod except for my sweet Posey.
I shake my head. “He’s not related to me.”
Own this, Marla. You are their mother and you deserve to be happy. This isn’t the end of the world. A happy mother only sets a better example for her daughters.
“Anyway, I’m not young anymore, and I’m not interested in dating around and playing the field.”
Jed releases a huge breath. “Thank God. So you’re done with this dating thing? I mean, I don’t really care if you date, but you chose the one guy in this town who has the same last name as us. It’s creepy.”
My head falls forward and I massage my temples.
“Jeez, Mom, I was ready to say I wanted to live with Dad,” Nikki says.
My head whips in her direction. That’s not even an option. No matter who I date, she’s not living with him and his girlfriend. “Listen. Stop with all these comments. Hank is your dad’s cousin, therefore I am not related to the man. If I had chosen to take back my maiden name after the divorce, he and I wouldn’t even have the same last name. Can we please all agree on that?”
They nod, though hesitantly.
“I am only going to date Hank Greene. I love him and he loves me and we’re going to explore a relationship with one another. What I’m telling you is that this is serious between us.”
Jed groans.
Nikki’s head falls to the table with a quiet bang.
Mandi’s eyes widen.
Posey sits there beaming at me.
“I know you all have your concerns about this, but I didn’t say we’re getting married or anything like that. But I refuse to hide from you the fact I’m seeing someone. You’re all old enough to understand why I might want some companionship in my life. It might work out or it might not, but Hank and I are grown-ups. We are the parents.”
“So that’s it? It’s done? We don’t have a say?” Jed asks, Nikki’s head bobbing in agreement. I see they’re going to be the hardest to win over.
“I understand that you’ve never seen me with a man who wasn’t your father, so it will be hard for you. And I’m not suggesting you have to be happy about it, but I would like it if you were happy for me because Hank makes me happy.”
“Did you two, like, really date in high school? Is this like one of those Hallmark movies where you always loved him, but you married Dad?” Nikki asks.
I almost laugh because it sounds like the rumors were already spreading about us even before the radio station report. “No. Hank and I were friends. That’s all. I loved your father. When your dad and I split up I was really sad, as you probably know.”
They all nod. Tears come to my eyes as I remember how I wanted to spare them from seeing how broken I was.
“I’m not sad now, but Hank…” How do I tell my kids he gives me butterflies and stomach flips like when I was seventeen and I’d catch him smiling at me in the hallway? How I can’t stop laughing and smiling when I’m around him? “Let’s just say, I’m choosing happiness. And I understand that it’s hard on you, but I’d really appreciate your support.”
Posey crawls into my lap and puts her small arms around my neck in a tight hug. “I support you.”
Nikki and Mandi reach across the table.
“We do too. I still think it’s a Hallmark movie,” Nikki says.
Jed sits there, and we all look at him. He sighs. “They’re going to bust my balls about this at school even more now that you’re official. Cade hates me. And…” He releases a deep breath. “Fine. Date your cousin.”
“He’s not her cousin!” all four of us girls scream, and we laugh together.
I grab Jed’s hand and he squeezes mine, which hopefully is a sign he might not be ecstatic, but he’ll deal with it. Everyone picks up dishes, assuming the family discussion is over.
“One more thing,” I say. “I guess the radio station in town reported that Hank and I went on the date and…” I bite my lip. I cover Posey’s ears and she squirms. “We were caught on the bleachers last night, kissing.”
“Mom!” Nikki yells.
“Way to make it e
asy on us.” Jed shakes his head and walks away.
I let go of Posey’s ears and she looks around. “What did I miss? Come on. I can’t be the only one who doesn’t know.”
“Mom kissed Hank and everyone in town knows,” Mandi says.
“Mandi!”
She shrugs and walks away. “Believe me, she was gonna find out.”
As the kitchen clears out, I sit at the table and sigh. I’ve got good kids. Hopefully this doesn’t mess them up too much. But I can’t shake the feeling that in the long run, seeing me pick myself back up out of the rubble and moving on with my life will be good for them.
I pick up my phone and see that Hank still hasn’t texted me back.
Me: It’s done. Jeez, who knew I could be so scared of my own kids?
No response.
Me: I’m thinking of you. Hope everything is okay.
“Mom!” I yell into the nearly empty house, reading all the names on the boxes. Some have storage written on them, others Hank, then one says Northern Lights.
My shoulders fall. Chevelle is skipping from room to room, telling me how they’re all empty.
“Hank?” Mom comes from the kitchen and Chevelle runs up to her, hugging her. Chevelle is almost as tall as her grandma now.
“What’s going on?” I ask.
She looks at her foyer with the rounded staircase along the wall and the chandelier she’d always brag about because she found it at a flea market. “What?” She looks at me with a blank expression.
“The boxes!”
“Oh.” She pats Chevelle on her back and hugs Adam. “So tall.” She kisses his cheek. “I’m moving.”
“And you didn’t think to tell me this?”
“I was going to tell you.” She pushes Chevelle and Adam in front of her with her hand on their shoulders. “I have some cookies in the kitchen. Fresh and hot. Go.”
They both almost knock the other one to the floor trying to get there first.
After they’re out of earshot, she steps over to me. “I’m moving into Northern Lights Retirement Center. I don’t want the grandkids to think it’s because I’m old though.”
I have no words.
Since I opt not to say anything, she continues. “I’ve had so much fun with Dori, and there isn’t anything here for me. You don’t need me anymore and the kids are getting so big. This house is all just memories of how old I’ve become. The stairs hurt my knees. It’s too much house for one person. It was meant to be enjoyed by a family.”
“But why didn’t you tell me?”
She giggles. “You’ve had your hands full. Or maybe that’s Marla.”
I ignore her comment for the moment. “But Northern Lights is in Lake Starlight.”
“You act like it’s in the lower forty-eight. It’s a twenty-minute drive.” She moves into the family room, and sure enough, it’s half packed, though the furniture’s still there. “This is just too much space. It was too big of a house even when there were three of us, and now it’s just me.”
I stare at a picture of the land back when my dad bought it. He’d decided to leave Anchorage when Sunrise Bay was nothing but a fishing town. He owned the land for almost eight years, building the house bit by bit until he finished it. My mom says he was never around during her pregnancy, but it was worth it to bring me home from the hospital to this house.
“The kids still need you.”
She pats my cheek. “And I’ll be there whenever you want. I can still drive, you know. But you all have your own lives.”
I guess she’s right. The boys are older, and they don’t want anything to do with me, let alone their grandma. It’s only a few years before Adam and Chevelle are where they are now.
“Still, I could’ve helped you if you told me.”
She waves me off. “Dori knew this moving company. They’ve been so good about being patient with me deciding what to keep and pack. I’ll move a lot of stuff into a storage unit unless you want it.”
I sit on the sofa and rest my forearms on my thighs. “Mom, how are you affording Northern Lights? It’s expensive.”
She sits next to me and places her hand on mine. “Your dad was always concerned with money. He worked so hard to give us the life he thought we deserved, and the day he passed that business down to you, he was so proud and happy. But I was in charge of the money, and my mom always taught me not to spend all your money when the sun is shining and there are no clouds in the sky.”
“You mean save it for a rainy day?”
“No. I mean what I said. I’m not senile.”
I chuckle. “Okay.”
“There were years your dad didn’t have enough work to fill his day, and there were others he couldn’t keep up. You know how it is.”
I nod, although my dad left me a pretty thriving business. Especially when he started doing work outside of Sunrise Bay. By the time I took it over, we were well in the black with four employees under our belt. Now I have six full-time and four part-time employees. Usually in the summer months, college students help me build decks, pergolas, and other outdoor projects for people to enjoy the few short months we have of great weather.
“So you have the money?”
She nods. “I have the money. You don’t have to take care of me.”
“And the house? Are you putting it up on the market?”
She hems and haws. “That depends on you.”
“Me?” My forehead wrinkles. “I can’t afford this place.”
She moves my hand to her lap and covers our joined hands with her other one. This is her way of comforting me when she’s going to bring up a topic I don’t want to talk about. She did it when she told me about my dad’s passing, and after Laurie died, I felt as if we were statues in this position.
“I know you and Laurie bought that house you’re in now. It’s the only one the kids know. And I don’t blame you for wanting to stay there. This house does need remodeling, and most of the rooms haven’t been used in years. But you’re welcome to move in here. Your dad built it, so there’s no mortgage.”
I slide my hand out of hers and stand, walking to the back window. The pool hasn’t been opened in years and is covered with leaves and dirt. The concrete surrounding it more gray than white. She’s right about this place needing work, and that’s probably on me because I slacked off on my responsibilities over the years. I should have helped her more.
“You’re sure about moving?” I look back at her over my shoulder.
She nods. “You’ll understand when you’re as old as me. I need to be around people my own age.” She walks over to me and we both stare out the window. “I know it needs some work, but you’re a contractor.” We laugh. “Just think about it. No need to answer right now. It’s big enough for a large family though.”
“Each kid would have their own room,” I say.
“Or a few kids could share a room. It’s not the end of the world. Plus two will be out of the house next year.”
I look at her, confused by her math. Maybe she is going senile.
“Cade and Jed are going to college, no?”
“What are you talking about? Are you confusing Jed for Fisher?”
She rolls her eyes. “I listen to the radio too.”
I point at her.
She must realize I know because she laughs and backs up, holding up her hands. “Come on. It’s just a little push in the right direction.”
“And three of my boys aren’t talking to me right now because of it.”
She waves me off. “So what? They’ll get over it.”
“Cade is already struggling with Marla and the kids returning. Your stunt didn’t help.”
“It’s fun. People laugh. You and Marla don’t have to hide now.”
I inhale deeply, praying for patience. “I wasn’t going to hide, but the kids don’t want to hear about their dad and some woman making out in the bleachers.”
She points at me. “Well then maybe you two should be more discreet.”
I shake my head and push a hand through my hair. “Thanks for the tip. It wasn’t your story to share, Mom.”
She takes a rag lying on a box and wipes down the mantel, looking over her shoulder. “You’re my business. Your happiness is my utmost concern. Years from now, you’ll be laughing about it.”
“What are you, twelve? I think Dori’s a bad influence on you.”
She laughs, moving from the mantel to the end tables. “We have fun together.”
“You never would’ve done something like this before you started hanging around her.”
“This how you talk to your teenagers?” She continues to dust every wood surface in the room. “That’s the great thing about friends. They pull out sides of you, you didn’t know existed. Like Marla. She’ll probably pull out things about you. Let’s just hope it’s not your penis in public again.” She snickers.
My jaw drops. “Oh my God.”
“Relax.” She turns around to face me. “You’re taking it too seriously.”
“Because you put us in a bad position with the kids.”
“Like I said, they’ll get over it. They should want to see you happy, and I know that Marla makes you happy.”
A smile tugs at the corner of my mouth when I think about her. She does make me happy, but we’re in that beginning stage of a relationship when everything is roses. What if it doesn’t last?
The front door opens and Xavier yells, “Grandma!”
“In here, sweetie,” she says.
In walks Xavier, Cade, and Fisher. I knew they’d never walk all the way home. None of them look my way as they cross the room and hug their grandma hello.
“Cookies are in the kitchen,” she says.
Xavier and Fisher walk out of the room first. Cade tries to move, but Mom grabs the sleeve of his jacket and tugs him back.
“You two are going to talk.” She points at me and him, then at the couch. “Sit.”
Cade might have a smart mouth with me, but not with his grandma, so he sits on the sofa without a word.
“I’m going to make sure they have chocolate milk.” She leaves us alone.