Orgies? Was that really a thing? How protected had I been when I’d attended these parties on Braddox’s arm?
Pushing open the door, I stepped out, my heels hitting the smooth blacktop with soft taps.
I would most definitely not go downstairs.
Pushing my hair behind me, I held onto my clutch with a tight grip around the thin strap. The only things I’d packed were my phone, chapstick, an extra tampon in case, and some cash. If I really wanted to get Braddox to get his brother’s image out of my head, I should have brought a condom.
Who was I kidding? I wasn’t really going to screw Braddox. Not there anyway. Maybe I could talk him into going somewhere else, but I wouldn’t do anything like that at a party held at Donnie’s. Nothing was private there.
Donnie had everything on video because of his parents’ security system. Donnie would watch through it all during the week and keep what he liked and erase what he didn’t. Sometimes I wondered if he had a side hustle of selling videos of what happened at his parties on the internet. He had to have a veritable library of scandal, porn, and fights collected somewhere.
I always swore I’d never end up on those videos.
Stephanie fell into step beside me and we linked arms, striding into the library-sized foyer and ignoring the butler who stood off to one side. Steph inclined her head toward me and whispered. “Who are you looking for?”
I jerked my gaze to the side, giggling nervously. “I’m not looking for anyone. Why? Are you?” I swung my free arm beside me, ignoring the looks from other people as we passed.
The music swelled as we walked deeper into the interior of the mansion. The main dance floor was probably in the game room where it usually was while the rest of the house would be used for various activities – like the basement.
“I’m looking for Ryan. If you see him, tell him I’m waiting in the tower room.” She winked at me, slid her arm from mine, and sashayed off, snaking a drink from a table set up with refreshments.
A momentary flash of panic sent a chill over my flesh. I wasn’t a member of West Shores anymore. These weren’t my friends or my crowd. I’d been gone long enough that most of them would notice my sudden appearance and remember that they hadn’t seen me in a long time – months even.
None of that mattered, though. I was there to have a good time and waiting for someone to approach me wasn’t the way to do it.
At the same table Stephanie had used, I picked out a still-sealed bottle of root beer. I wasn’t going to get drunk when whatever I did would end up on the cameras. Not my idea of fun. At all.
I turned and scanned the crowd. Was Braddox there? Had he moved on to someone with more commitment than me? I wasn’t sure what he was thinking or even if I was in the forefront of his thoughts. He’d meant a lot to me, but over the last few months I’d made myself try to forget him, try to want something other than him. The fact that he had a twin brother who turned my blood to lava only convinced me that maybe I had more of a thing for Braddox than I’d thought.
He used to care about me, or he said he did. Would he still feel the same way?
No one would meet my eyes directly. I slowed my scanning and started studying each person for a couple seconds each. They all averted their eyes and pretended not to see me.
Blinking in confusion, I gripped my drink in one hand, grounding myself on the cold bottle and the even colder condensation clinging to my skin. I’d expected not to feel like I fit in initially, but surely these people remembered me. Surely, they would still see me as a friend.
Right?
I walked through the group, paranoid that I might be making it up in my head as the crowd parted, giving me space to walk through. Why would they do that?
My heart pounded. I’d never felt more alone as I moved amongst a room of people I recognized and yet hadn’t seen in more than a quarter of a year. That wasn’t that long really.
The musky scent of marijuana hit me like a wall when I walked through the doorway to the den which would lead to the game room. The lights in that room had been dimmed, leaving the ends of pipes, bongs, and joints as the only sources of light in the room. I moved through, breathing deep in the hopes to absorb the calming effects of pot being burned through so fast.
On the other side of the room, I pushed the door open and inhaled the fresher air while waiting for my eyes to adjust to the brighter lighting.
Strobes flickered in the corners. Two pool tables took up the floor on the far end of the room which was easily the size of an Olympic pool. Lamps glowed with an orange hue while various colored lights fought the dark end where the music took control.
Bodies gyrated on the dance floor, some moving with the beat of the music, some just swaying side to side, and some only restrained by clothing as they made out on the floor.
I moved into the group, anxious to let go and dance. I needed to find the beat and let it run through me, controlling my muscles and taking my inhibition.
Moving my hips and shoulders, I smiled at a guy I remembered from my biology class. He turned his back to me as if he hadn’t seen me, but I knew that couldn’t be true. How could anyone not see me? I was just trampy enough to give off the signal that I wanted attention that night. Why would he turn away?
Another guy beside him glanced over his shoulder, starting at my feet as he took in with an appreciative expression my scanty attire. His eyes widened when he got to my face and he recognized me. I’d never been in class with him, but I’d seen him in the halls and around campus. I offered a slight smile, inviting him to join me with a jerk of my chin.
Instead of joining me, he half-shrugged and shook his head, turning back to move with the group of guys he stood with.
I stopped moving, staring at him with my jaw slack. Was he kidding me? What was going on?
Someone bumped me from the side and I jostled back. Reaching up, I tucked my hair behind my shoulder, the curls brushing against my bare shoulder with more condescension than I’d thought possible. It was like my curls taunted me for getting all dressed up and being more of a pariah like my everyday life had become than the comfort and normalcy I’d longed for.
I took a deep breath and backed off the dance floor. The tower. Stephanie had said she was going to be at the tower. I whirled at the door leading outside and slammed into another girl. “I’m sorry, excuse me.” I reached out, steadying her while leaning on the doorjamb.
My night was bombing and I blinked back tears.
The girl… I think her name was Rachel shook her head and took note of my wet eyes. She pointed toward the floor. “Olivia, you’re marked, honey. No one will willingly defy Braddox.”
I blinked at her, then bit my lip before calling out over the pounding music. “We broke up.”
She raised her eyebrows and pointed at the floor I’d come off of. “It doesn’t matter. He wants you. That’s all that matters.” She shook her head like she couldn’t believe I didn’t know this.
I turned more fully toward her. “He doesn’t still want me.”
Rachel thrust her finger toward her well-endowed chest and pursed her lips. “After everything he and I did in the locker room? All he wanted to do was see if you’d texted him back afterward. That’s not the actions of a guy that’s over his ex.” She folded her arms and I felt a little sick that he’d done that while thinking of me.
I licked my lips and then raised my eyes to hers. “I’m so sorry.”
“Ah, honey, I’m sorry. Whatever you did to him, he can’t get out of his system and now you’re going to pay. The rest of West Shores won’t let you forget what you did.” She patted my arm, her touch warm in the surprisingly chilly airway.
Her words were also prophetic. He was going to make me pay and I had no idea what I’d done. Why couldn’t he just move on from me? The alarming information left my stomach tight and painful.
I was no one special. I was even worse than that, I was a girl fallen from the rich and lavish life of being a Ramirez to living o
n the east side of Shores, Oregon and sharing an apartment with my mom.
I was nothing he could possibly want. Maybe he just wasn’t aware of how far I’d fallen. How could he? He’d made it a point to never speak to the help. He’d helped my mom get a job, but that didn’t mean he knew where she was or would even deign to talk to her to find me.
Rachel and I parted and I made my way outside. The grass gave under my heels and I reached down to slip them off my feet.
A soft mist wafted over the house, blowing in from the ocean that lay over a hundred feet below the railing separating the yard from open air. I inhaled deeply, gripping the wrought iron fencing and staring out over the choppy water. Deep, dark clouds hung low over the mountains and I couldn’t help wishing the wind would whip me back in time to know what was going to happen to my dad and to the rest of my family.
I blinked back tears as I realized I’d been so wrapped up in my life and the things I’d perceived as hell that I’d failed to truly grasp the import of my father’s death. I’d been in some form of denial over the last few months, as if he were on some long trip and I was just waiting for him to return.
Dad had often disappeared for long stretches of time, claiming to be working out around the country. That’s what happened to helicopter pilots who were contracted out. He hadn’t needed the money, but he’d liked the excitement and that he had something to do.
My mom had all the money he could ever want. She was a Ramirez of the Ramirez International company – the biggest frozen Mexican food producer on the North American continent. Even canned foods like enchilada sauce and taco shells were offered by the Ramirez name.
Going into a store usually left me a little befuddled when I was younger because I’d see my name beside a picture of my grandmother on all kinds of products. I thought the store was my grandmother’s house. It wasn’t until I was much older that my mom told me the truth about my heritage. I was a world-famous Ramirez. I would never lack for money or family legacy.
Little had my mom known that my dad would sell the company out from under her when she’d been diagnosed with breast cancer two summers ago. Mom had been forced to give power of attorney to my father in case something happened while she underwent treatment.
She’d beat it, or was at least in remission when he’d told her we were living off the rest of the money because he’d sold the company to our competitors. Sold the entire company. The public stock went with it. He’d sold it for very little and Mom had been so sick with the regret and pain she’d had to be readmitted to the hospital.
I blinked back tears, reaching up to wipe under my eyes. My dad had screwed us over and he probably never would have told us what he’d done, if he hadn’t died. Would we have ever found out? I’m not sure that we would have.
Every time I faced my grief for my father’s death, I shoved it away. Of course, I hated that he was gone, but another part of me – a part I didn’t want to own – hated that he’d done that to us. He’d left us destitute and he’d tried hiding it. He’d lied.
It was hard to mourn him when I was so damn mad at him, too. We’d fought about him always leaving at the end.
Warm fingers wrapped around my upper bicep, turning me gently to face him. I blinked; my eyesight blurred from unspilled tears. He pulled me into his arms, the strength of his chest steady under my cheek. I inhaled. I’d missed him so much. I just hadn’t realized how much.
Sighing, I wrapped my arms around Braddox’s waist and closed my eyes. He could be a royal ass but when he held me, things had always seemed fine. I don’t care how delusional that made me sound. He wasn’t a bad guy. There was a tender side of him that made me hold on longer than I would have otherwise.
His hands ran up and down my bare back, his touch tickling and reassuring, comforting and familiar. Something pooled inside me and I was so grateful that longing curled in my chest, similar but still different to what I’d felt toward Jaxon. But present. It was there. Thank goodness.
I pulled back, a smile on my lips. Staring up at the guy holding me, my smile faded as I took in the longer hair style, the tightly trimmed facial hair that could pass as stubble, and the angle he held his head.
Jaxon?
I pulled back my arm and slapped him hard across the cheek, gasping as I jerked from his hold. “How dare you? What are you doing here? This is West Shores territory. You have no right following me, Jaxon.” I shoved my fist against my mouth, the knuckles scraping my lips against my teeth.
His eyes darkened and he furrowed his brow. Stepping forward, he curled his fingers around my forearm and yanked me forward until I was inches from him.
Keeping his voice low, he growled, “How do you know my brother?”
My stomach flopped and fell. How the hell had I made the same mistake twice in less than two weeks?
Chapter 7
Olivia
I held Braddox’s gaze with my own but broke away, keeping my arms akimbo as I stared up at him. “You know how I know him. Damn it, Brax, where do you think I’ve been?”
“That’s a good question. I have no idea. Your mom has been working for my dad, even got a promotion, but I haven’t heard from you or seen you anywhere near West Shores.” He folded his arms across his chest. The muscles in his forearms tightened and he inclined his head. The dark blue shirt made his eyes stand out and I ignored the way his lips moved.
There was nothing for me there.
I pinched the bridge of my nose and shook my head. “Please, tell me you’re joking right now.” I dropped my hand and tilted my head to the side. “Do you really think my mom makes enough as a maid to pay for my tuition? I live in a dumpy apartment and I go to East Shores. East. Shores. Academy. Braddox. They don’t like me there.” That was an understatement but I didn’t want to sound like I was whining.
Brax tucked his chin, eyeing me like I might be lying. Why would I lie about something like that?
I studied him, certain he had to be joking on some level. “Did you really think a maid’s pay would be able to afford West Shores? If that was the case, we wouldn’t be one of the most private schools on the west coast.” I shook my head, blinking long and hard. “No, that’s not true. It’s not we. It’s not my school. It’s you. Your school wouldn’t be one of the most exclusive schools on the west coast. It isn’t the grades that makes it hard to get in.”
For the first time since I’d moved, I actually felt the divide between who I had been and who I’d become. Braddox was stuck on the side I’d left behind. He didn’t know what it was like to have to choose between macaroni and cheese and ramen for three meals in a row, or the worry that shot through you when the lights flickered off and on as if you were late on a payment and they were threatening you with a shut off. I’d learned that in only twelve weeks. The lesson was one I wished I’d never had to face.
Braddox set his jaw and narrowed his eyes. “You met Jaxon, though. You know him well enough to not want him to kiss you.”
I’d said nothing about not wanting Jaxon to kiss me. If anything, that was the only thing I wanted Jaxon to do.
I kept that comment to myself and took a deep breath. “Look, it’s nothing personal. I didn’t want to hold you back. It sounds like you’re fine with us breaking up. I mean, how many girls have you slept with since I left?” I tossed his actions in his face in an attempt to get his mind off Jaxon and how I might know him. It was none of Braddox’s business that I’d thrown myself into his twin’s arms and now couldn’t stop thinking about him.
That was no one’s business… not even my own.
Braddox didn’t look away in shame. Instead he held my gaze with his, something gentle in his eyes that I wanted to wrap myself in.
After a second, he closed the short distance between us and reached up, grazing my cheek with his knuckles. “Liv, you’re the only girl for me. I need you. When you left… you just disappeared after telling me it was over. I’d helped find your mom a job and everything.” He ducked his head, gently p
ressing his lips to my cheek beneath my left eye, murmuring as he continued planting kisses along my face back to my ear. “I was going out of my mind, Olivia. All I can think about is you. Being with you. I’m sorry I was with other girls, but they were nothing except a way to get you out of my head.”
He kissed my earlobe, the heat of his breath sent tingles down my neck. “Nothing worked. You’re all I can think about.”
Could I blame him for screwing whoever he wanted? That’s why I’d come looking for him, wasn’t it? To get Jaxon out of my system? His admission that all of those girls didn’t work only made me feel worse. Would screwing Braddox help the situation or make it worse since I wanted him, too?
There was an underlying need in his voice I’d never heard before. Could it be possible that he actually did feel those things for me? Blame it on my daddy issues or even my constant vibrating hormones, but I didn’t even try to stop myself from turning my face and capturing his lips with my own.
I reached up, wrapping my arms around his lower neck and threading my fingers through his longer-than-usual hair. I gently massaged the base of his skull as I angled my head to the side and let him take control of our embrace. A small part of me easily pictured him as Jaxon and I hated myself for it.
Braddox didn’t disappoint as he slid his arms around my back and pinned me against him, pressing me close to his chest. I arched my back, anxious to be closer and frustrated that we were in a very public spot out on the lawn. I doubted anyone watched us. I had no idea where the cameras were and what they would snag.
Braddox’s tongue created a fire, the effects of which burned through my limbs and into my core. He had no idea what he was doing to my insides. I had no idea how to tell him that was the first time I actually felt like I wouldn’t mind if he threw me on the ground and took me like he’d whispered to me before.
Forsaken: A bully romance (An Academy Twin Rivalry Series Book 1) Page 6