I pulled from her mouth, trailing my lips down her cheek and to her neck where I licked her earlobe, tracing the round stud set in her delicate flesh.
She inhaled with a gasp, unable to move as I entranced her with my mouth. I moved my lips to the small shell of her ear and murmured. “Do you really think anything between us could be less than amazing?”
I moved my hands, cupping her rear end with both hands and hauling against my front, exposing my longing for her in all its glory. Her eyes widened as she stared up at me in all my satisfaction. I shook my head, grinding her against me and hefting her to wrap her legs around my waist. I pushed her against the wall, raising her a little higher than me.
“Just knowing you’re down the street from me leaves me with a perma-hard-on, Olivia. Don’t ever doubt your effect on me. Do you understand?” I waited for her to nod before I brought her closer for another kiss that left us both shattered and panting.
As much as I wanted to, I refused to trail my fingers around her front or to take things any further with her.
She wasn’t for me. She couldn’t be.
Unless… what if she could? What if Braddox didn’t want her anymore? What if she didn’t want him?
Was there anything I could do to keep that attraction between us for myself?
Something whispered in my heart that she was my brother’s and there was nothing I could do about it. I blinked, pulling back slowly and letting the cold wave of reality have its way with me.
She slowly lowered her legs to the ground and I ignored the fact that we fit together perfectly.
Which meant she fit Braddox exactly the same. She would curl into him, take him in her arms and let him caress her.
What rights did I have to her? None. I was a fool to drag her in there like a Neanderthal.
I ran my hand through my hair, shaking my head. “We obviously both made a mistake about what we said. I admit it was my fault from the beginning. I guess we both have to deal with the consequences.” That’s all I would give her.
I couldn’t have her. I couldn’t taste her whenever I wanted. She lived doors down from me and I couldn’t sneak over and slip into her bed with her, holding her close at night. There was nothing I could do to take advantage of the attraction between us.
I moved to the door, only pausing as she whispered my name and it crawled softly across the darkness. I glanced back at her, taking in the appearance of her swollen lips and mussed hair. I could only imagine what she’d left me looking like. I reached for the door handle. “If Braddox makes you burn like that, go back to him.” I’d never admit that I’d never felt that way. I couldn’t feel that way with just anyone but I’d be damned before I’d admit that my brother’s girlfriend or ex or whatever she was made me burn in ways I hadn’t known were possible.
There wasn’t justice in that.
As I made my way to the locker room for a fast cold shower before classes let out, I pulled my phone out of my pocket and pulled up Braddox’s number. I’d gotten it once a while back from someone who knew someone at West Shores.
I’d sworn to never use it.
Looked like I was breaking all kinds of promises that morning.
I changed my mind. She’s staying here.
Introducing myself wasn’t going to happen. He would know who it was. He would know what I was talking about. Olivia was the only she worth mentioning.
After our few minutes in the closet, there was no way I wasn’t going to fight for her. One more thing to add to the animosity between my brother and me.
One day we wouldn’t be able to come back from the things that had passed between us.
One day was for losers.
His text came when I set the phone on the top of the metal lockers beside the showers. I picked up my phone and grinned as I read his message.
Challenge accepted.
One thing the O’Donnells could say – we didn’t give up anything without a fight.
Chapter 11
Olivia
Damn that guy and the way he made my knees shake. Between his effect on me physically and the way Braddox made me feel inside, I didn’t want to have to be torn between men I couldn’t have anyway. One of the guys I wanted I couldn’t have because he was someone I’d had to leave behind in my old life and the other didn’t want me in my new one.
I leaned forward, resting my forehead on the wall of the janitorial closet, ignoring the grittiness of the cement under the paint. My breathing was ragged and I hated that he affected me that way. It wasn’t fair.
I closed my eyes, reaching up to press my fingers against my lips, tender from the kiss I most definitely hadn’t fought. What kind of a person did that make me?
Well, if I wanted integrity, then I’d better screw the daylights out of Jaxon so I wasn’t a liar. I rolled my eyes at myself, turning around and sinking into a crouched position as I hung my hands between my knees. What was I going to do? I couldn’t go back to that class. Not feeling like I did. Not after he’d hauled me out like I was his cavewoman or something. I needed a shower.
I couldn’t do what I should. I needed to stay away from Jaxon. I needed to… what?
I’d already made the biggest mistake I probably could have made. I agreed with the rumors that I’d slept with him, the brother at East Shores, and then I’d made a reference about the way he did things as if I had more experience than that.
If Braddox found out about that part, he’d hate me for sure. Nothing I did was getting me closer to my goal.
What the hell was my goal again? Everything had shifted into shitty-hood since my dad died.
I sank further to the ground until my ass fell on the dirty concrete. I leaned my head back. What did I want? I used to know.
Back before my dad died, I could list on three fingers exactly what I wanted with my life and what I was going to do.
Become a pediatric heart surgeon with a minor in business management.
Marry Braddox or someone equally hot and powerful.
Take over the family business. On vacations, work in third world countries doing pro-bono work for children who couldn’t afford the care they needed. That’s what I’d always wanted.
I’d talked about it with my dad and he always promised to fly me and my team wherever we needed to go. He’d claimed I was the bright light in his legacy.
The bright light.
And then he’d died and Mom and I were left trying to figure out where the pieces were falling. I still had no idea what had happened. I wasn’t even sure I could ask my mom. Not yet.
I took a deep breath and leaned forward, resting my elbows on my knees. My body wouldn’t stop shaking. I couldn’t believe what I was trying to recover from.
We hated each other. He spread rumors about me, trying to destroy me or hurt me. Then he pulled me aside and we had that kind of reaction to each other? It didn’t make sense to me.
I was so stupid. I had to accept that. No matter how smart I thought I actually was, the fact that I was messing around with the leader of East Shores as if my retaliation even mattered just proved I was missing some brain cells.
All weekend, I’d tried just being available in case Stephanie needed me and making sure I put the bug of my fictionalized encounter with Jaxon into specific people’s ears. Which meant I dropped comments here and there on social media posts until a couple people ballsed up and privately messaged me to ask for specifics.
I did my best to oblige. Each person got just different enough sides of the story, that nothing was one-hundred-percent accurate.
My phone buzzed in my pocket. I pulled the piece out, rubbing the back of my neck. Maybe I was getting stressed out, or maybe I had hit my point of no return with anxiety which was weird. I’d never had problems with anxiety before.
But I’d never had to deal with both O’Donnell twins before either.
I swiped my screen and wrinkled my nose at the sight of Braddox’s name above the text.
We need to talk.
Plus… after the encounter with his brother right there in the closet, I wasn’t sure I would have the right answers for Braddox that he would probably want.
As far as I was concerned, I wasn’t sure what type of answers I would be comfortable giving him anyway.
I didn’t even know what I was comfortable giving myself.
I didn’t want to do school. I didn’t want to do anything. I needed to get home before I chased Jaxon down and made him finish what he started in the mechanical room. I pushed myself off the ground, grateful to find that my legs were somewhat normal. I could just walk home. I needed the time to myself anyway.
I didn’t even bother going back for my backpack. There was nothing in there I couldn’t live without.
What was I going to do, if I couldn’t even be in the same room as Jaxon? He gave me chills and not in a bad way.
I needed experienced advice. Had it been enough time since Friday’s horrible incident for Stephanie that I could ask her for something besides checking in with her? I’d been checking to see how she was all weekend.
Once I made it outside without getting caught by teachers or other students, I broke into an easy stride. Swinging my arms, I inhaled the fresh air of the beautiful spring day. The air could have been scented by the sun. I wasn’t sure if it was a good day or not, but I didn’t want to go back to that school where it felt like being shoved into a cardboard box and suppressed from breathing normally or even feeling freedom on any level.
The walk to the apartment passed quickly.
I let myself in through the door and stopped. Lights on in the hall brought me up short. I knit my eyebrows and stayed by the door in case I needed to run for help. “Hello?”
A clattering of something in the bathroom to the linoleum flooring made me jerk back. What was going on? My mom was supposed to be at work.
“Liv? Um, what are you doing home?” My mom’s tone gave away her anxiety. “Are you sick or something, honey?”
Maybe that was it. Maybe she was just worried about me. But for some reason, I didn’t believe that was it. She’d taken to sleeping in past the time I left for school. I hadn’t seen her before her job for a while now.
I shut the door and walked hesitantly toward our one bathroom we had to share. In our old house we had close to six bathrooms. I’d never had to share anything.
Moving to East Shores had definitely been a wakeup call.
Peeking around the edge of the doorjamb, I pulled back and then stepped fully into the doorway. “Mom, what are you doing?”
Instead of her lavender and gray uniform, Mom wore a business suit that hugged her slim curves and showcased the color in her irises. The black suit set off the accent corral color she wore under the jacket. A strand of pearls adorned her neck and she stood in a pair of understated pumps that didn’t add to her modest height but also didn’t take away from the elegance of her attire and her bearing.
I tucked a chunk of hair behind my ear and blinked as I took in my mom’s presence. “I don’t understand. What are you doing?”
Mom cleared her throat, setting her mascara tube on the counter. She took a deep breath and fidgeted with her string of pearls as she glanced everywhere but at me.
“What is going on?” My irritation ramped up. What kind of a secret was she keeping from me?
She moved and her normally long wavy hair with soft streaks of silver shifted in the light, revealing shoulder length hair with the silver taken out. The color job made her look younger, sexier.
I cocked my head and dropped my jaw in horror. “Are you hooking now?” It wouldn’t be the first time I’d heard of the women on the east side of town doing things with their bodies to pay the bills. The rich men on the westside had needs and the women on the eastside met them for a price.
Mom reared back as if I’d slapped her. She blinked at me, her face hardening as she registered what I’d said. “Hooking? Is that what you think of me? That I’m the type to sleep with someone for money? Does the Ramirez name mean nothing to you?” Her outrage was understandable but I wasn’t taking it back. I refused to apologize when she was obviously sneaking around. Something was going on. She wasn’t going to guilt me into apologizing when she was clearly the one lying.
I folded my arms across my chest and tucked my chin, unwilling to budge. “What are you doing? Maids don’t dress like that.”
“I got a promotion. I’m not a maid anymore.” She lifted her chin, as if defying me with her announcement. Did she think doing well at work was something to be ashamed of?
I blinked rapidly. That wasn’t the answer I’d expected, but it was more welcome than finding out she’d taken to turning tricks.
Spreading my arms wide, I smiled and pulled her into a hug. “Oh wow, Mom, that is awesome. Congratulations.”
She nodded, stiffly pulling away as if I’d hurt her feelings and she wasn’t sure how to move on from it. “Thanks. It’s fairly new, so we’ll see where it goes. There’s better pay but I have really weird hours. I won’t be here all the time.” She turned back to the mirror, applying maroon lipstick to her perfectly shaped mouth.
I nodded. “Yeah, I get it.” We all were doing things we had to do, no thanks to Dad and his actions before he died.
Mom pursed her lips and blotted the excess from her mouth. She narrowed her eyes as she considered me in the reflective glass. “Hey, you’re supposed to be at school. What’s going on?”
I sighed and turned from the bathroom. “I don’t feel well.” She would accept my answer. I had never been the type to miss school just because and she knew it. I knew it. I just couldn’t be that type of person right then. East Shores made it impossible to want to go. Jaxon made it impossible to be there and fit in.
All the shit around the O’Donnell brothers had completely uprooted me from my own town and I wasn’t sure I would ever fit in anywhere.
“Oh, honey, I’m sorry. There’s chicken noodle soup in the cupboard and some crackers. I don’t have any pop. If you feel like throwing up, grab a bucket or something. Just stay home and watch some TV or something. I’m not sure when I’ll be home. If you need anything, just text me.” She smiled gently as she passed me, patting my shoulder.
I nodded, flopping to the couch in the living room and welcoming the ability to let the weight of my situation show on my face. Of course, it made me look sick. My circumstances couldn’t be more drama-filled and there was no way out of it for me. There was no way out of it for Jaxon or even for Braddox.
Speaking of Braddox, I was supposed to let him know if I wanted to talk or not.
Honestly? Not. I didn’t want to. I wasn’t sure what I would say.
Mom ducked out of the front door, wiggling her fingers at me and looking more optimistic than she had in a long time. If nothing else, the promotion was lifting her spirits and we needed anything like that we could get.
I kicked back, lifting my legs and resting them on the back of the couch. Bringing my phone up, I swiped the screen to messages, backing out of Braddox’s thread. Pulling up Steph’s, I started typing.
Hey, I ditched school. Too much to deal with. Wanna hang out?
One thing I loved about Stephanie she was always willing to ignore school. Her grades were effortless and she just kind of glided through each year. When she’d told me on Friday that she wasn’t worth much, I’d about lost it. She was so much more than she gave herself credit for – than anyone gave her credit for.
I didn’t have to wait long for a response.
I’m at home. Wanna go out tonight? I have a great idea!
Grinning, I answered.
On a school night? How dare you. I’m game. Pick me up at the same spot?
Apparently, I had no shame. I didn’t care if I missed school. I didn’t care about much else besides keeping my distance from Jaxon and Braddox until I could figure
out just what it was I wanted.
The day passed almost too slowly. Stephanie hadn’t said what to wear or even where we were going, but I knew my friend and I knew whatever it was, it would be risky and fun.
Pulling on a corral-colored sundress with modest sleeves and a round neck, I stepped into strappy sandals. Mom’s shirt had reminded me of the sundress I’d packed away. The hem fell to my ankles and the flowy material fit me without being too revealing. Just enough to make me feel feminine without making me feel like I was giving it away.
I stood out by the road shortly after five, waiting for my friend. The strap of my purse rested on my shoulder, complementing the corral with a navy-blue leather and corral-colored polka dots.
An older muscle car with a cab resembling a sedan and a bed like a truck barreled down the road toward me, flashing its blinker to get into the apartment complex lot as it got closer.
I blinked as it slowed. The window was down and a man’s arm loosely rested along the sill of the driver’s door.
When he pulled abreast of me, I caught my breath at the sight of Jaxon and his dark eyes studying me from behind the steering wheel.
He slowed, barely moving as he stared at me, taking in every detail of my outfit and the loose-knot at the crown of my head that allowed some tendrils of my hair to trail down around my shoulders and back.
What did he think? He had to know what he’d done to me that morning. He had to know how affected I’d been and how I couldn’t get it out of my head or skin. I couldn’t get free from him and I needed to. I needed some form of relief from the stress he caused me and my nerves.
His gaze met mine and I couldn’t help the soft smile that found itself on my lips. For him.
A gentle curve of his own lips gave the butterflies in my stomach permission to flap their wings like crazy.
Forsaken: A bully romance (An Academy Twin Rivalry Series Book 1) Page 10