Forsaken: A bully romance (An Academy Twin Rivalry Series Book 1)

by Taylor Blaine

  Did he really understand where I was coming from? I held my breath as he continued, rubbing his thumbs over the skin of my hands. “I understand you like Braddox. You care for him. He’s a charming guy. I’m sorry… I wouldn’t want you to find out like you did, but I’m glad you found out, you know? At least before anything else happened between you.”

  I pulled my lower lip between my teeth and nodded. He made sense. What he said made perfect sense, but it still hurt. I couldn’t shake off the feelings of betrayal. I reached up with my free hand and dotted my fingertips under my eyes.

  Jaxon watched me in silence, still holding my hand. Then, without a word, he slid from his seat and onto the cushion right beside me, wrapping his arm around my shoulders and pulling me to his chest. “Sh. You’re good. I understand. I do. More than you know.”

  The strength of his embrace and the final straw of being treated so terribly by Braddox broke me. I welcomed his hold and turned into his arms, resting my forehead on the broad strength of his chest just beneath his collarbone. I closed my eyes and I couldn’t help the tears that worked their way down my cheeks. I didn’t even try to stop them. I couldn’t. Poor Jaxon. He had to deal with my pathetic tears as I cried over his brother.

  His brother! I wanted Jaxon and I wanted Braddox – at least, I had wanted Braddox. Things changed.

  As much as my desire for Brax was physical and had been in part because of our history and other things, I had to admit the goodness Jaxon displayed here and there gave him a golden sheen I had been blinded to because of Braddox’s charm.

  I curled my fingers in the material by my face and leaned my head back, murmuring, “You’re not supposed to be so understanding.” Or damned good looking. That close to him, with his arms wrapped around me, I couldn’t believe we’d waited like we had. I didn’t need to be with him long to know we were meant for each other.

  He half-shrugged, reaching for his drink. “You don’t seem to get it. There’s something between us. I’m not stupid. I know you have a connection to my brother. He’s intriguing in his own right. I mean, he is extraordinarily good looking.” He cast a teasing sideway glance my way and then he continued, “The problem is, you don’t know who he really is. You know pieces of what he wants you to know and see, just like everyone else. I know the real him and I still love him. So, I completely understand what kind of a mental rape he’s giving you.”

  A mental rape. That’s exactly what he was doing to me. I was crying because I was free of it? That was a bunch of crap. I wasn’t going to regret Braddox any more than I already had.

  Dropping my gaze from Jaxon’s face to his neck, I stared at the skin inches from my mouth. It wouldn’t take any effort to just lift my chin… and I kissed his neck, right where his pulse beat softly beneath his flesh.

  Jaxon tightened his arms around me, inhaling sharply as he growled softly. “You better be careful what you start here. I’m not sure I want to stop tonight.”

  He didn’t want to stop? I grinned, kissing his neck more and sitting up a little bit as I pressed my lips to his ear lobe. I arched my back, pushing my breasts against his arm and chest as I whispered, “I like that threat.”

  “Um, do you want me to come back?” A hesitant female’s voice broke through my desire-filled haze.

  I blinked, pulling from almost climbing into Jaxon’s lap. Maybe I was rebounding, maybe I was ready to have sex with Jaxon right there in DeGuido’s because I was hurt from Braddox.

  It didn’t matter though, as I glanced up at the waitress standing there with our meal in her hands and uncertainty all over her face. I waved at the table and smiled. “Thank you, sorry. We were…” I didn’t know what we were doing, but I knew what I wanted to do. I might be a virgin, but I was more than excited to mess around with Jaxon in ways I’d only dreamt about.

  We continued sitting next to each, the lengths of our thighs touching from hip to knee and our ankles entwined beneath the table.

  The server set the food on the table and rolled her eyes as she walked away. I would have done the same.

  There were so many things I could focus on in that moment; the fact that I’d seen my dad for the last time in that restaurant, the fact that Braddox had cheated on me with a girl who obviously had more experience and wanted to create more knowledge with both of the twins, the fact that I was not wanted at either East Shores or West Shores Academies now, and the fact that the slut who Braddox had cheated on me with had the same last name as my dead father.

  It had to be coincidence, but our old house had his name on it now, and it wasn’t in stickers.

  There was just too much to try to wrap my brain around. My humor faded as I stared unseeingly at my plate.

  Jaxon cut a piece of his pizza and paused in lifting the bite to his mouth. “Hey, what’s wrong?”

  I pushed my fork around the plate and then met his searching gaze. “You know… no one is as perfect as you and Braddox seem. Braddox showed his colors. I feel like I need to wait to see what your true colors are.” I scrunched my nose. “Does that make sense? Does it irritate you?” A small tremor of uncertainty quaked in my gut. I didn’t want to make him mad when we were trying to have a nice night.

  He considered me as if he weren’t sure what to say and then he bumped my shoulder with his. “Liv, you need to know that you can be honest with me. I won’t get mad at you. As long as you don’t lie to me, I won’t, okay?”

  Were we making some kind of a promise to each other? Something tangible that we could hold onto until we got back to my apartment and sealed it with actions I couldn’t stop thinking about?

  “I won’t lie to you.” The stillness between us seemed to simmer in my blood as we stared at each other. It felt like we were making some kind of a sacred promise and it left my nipples hard and my legs a little shaky.

  If Braddox was the bad brother with his entitled ways and his unfaithful actions, then Jaxon had proven to be the one I deserved with the way he treated me.

  I could honestly say my body acknowledged him as something to envelope in my arms. His fingers grazed my wrist as he reached for the salt and I inhaled slowly.

  We needed to get out of there and it needed to be sooner rather than later.

  ~~~

  After what could have been forever and a half, Jaxon finally took me home, holding my hand between us on the bench seat of his El Camino and very little talking.

  He parked his car and walked me to my door. I glanced inside, relieved to find my mom still absent. She wouldn’t be coming home that night. I didn’t know how I knew, but something in my gut told me I didn’t have to worry about a surprise interruption.

  I turned at the doorway, resting my shoulder on the doorjamb and looking up at him through my lashes. I was suddenly extremely shy about what we’d talked about, planned, and I couldn’t get it out of my head. But I also didn’t know what I was doing.

  Did I reach out and strip his clothes off him? Did he have a condom? What if he wanted me to give him a blowjob? I’d never done that. What if I wasn’t any good at it?

  Maybe he’d think I was too fat, too curvy, not curvy enough. Maybe he was rough. I had no idea how he would be just that he made parts of me melt when we kissed and I wanted to feel that intense craving even more. I wanted to ride that wave until the end I knew had to come when we finally did it. Whatever way it ended up being.

  The evening was warmer than it had been in a while. I wasn’t cold as I stood there staring at the promises in Jaxon’s eyes.

  I hated that I saw Braddox and his betrayal sprinkled my moment with Jaxon in bitterness.

  Jaxon curled his fingers around the back of my neck, stepping closer as he seemed to inhale my very presence, soaking me in. I’m not sure how I continued standing, but I did it.

  Our lips met and I gave myself over to what he offered – him and only him. I could do that. I could be what he wanted me to be. I could choose only him and I could love it. Getting to know him was already painless, if not
the best thing I’d ever undertaken. I couldn’t be aloof, not with him and not after Braddox pushed me into choosing Jaxon.

  Something I was sure I would have done eventually. There was a pull there I couldn’t deny.

  He sensed the change in me as my resistance broke under his tender onslaught. I moaned into his mouth, triggering something to break free inside him.

  He manuevered me until my back was against the doorjamb. He ran his hands down and over my curves, bending his head further as he deepened the kiss with a hunger I matched as I pushed against his mouth with mine.

  Is it wrong that I wanted to devour him right there on the stoop to my apartment?

  I’m not sure how long we made out until he finally broke free, both of us breathing hard.

  He jerked his thumb over his shoulder and swallowed. “I better let you get some sleep.” But there was a question in his eyes that I wanted to answer with a hard yes.

  I shook my head, holding his gaze with mine. “I don’t want to be alone tonight.” My whisper mingled with my panting and I left my fingers on his chest. Did he hear the longing in my tone? I licked my lips, making it very clear just what I wanted from him, what I wanted from both of us.

  His pupils dilated like he’d taken a hard hit of some addicting drug and he reached behind me, pulling my hips forward and grinding them against his lap.

  He most definitely didn’t want to leave.

  Jaxon stared down into my eyes and murmured, “Leave your door open. I’ll be back.”

  He pressed his lips to mine, licking and nipping at the soft flesh of my lower lip as he did so, pulling back a little more each time.

  Why was I letting him go? I just wanted to continue what we were doing, all of it, get it all done and do it right there in the doorway, for hell’s sake. I just wanted him to finish the fire he kept starting inside me. Let it burn until it completely consumed me. Wasn’t that okay to want?

  If he left me alone, I’d have time to think. I’d have to go over every moment in the restaurant, everything I’d learned, everything I didn’t want to know.

  If he left me, I would have time to think about all the reasons why I shouldn’t do what I so desperately wanted right then. I would have all the reasons not to and I might not go through with it.

  I couldn’t let him go. I couldn’t. And yet, I didn’t stop him as he turned after another kiss and darted around the corner. I didn’t call out to him.

  Because if it was really meant to be, he’d be back. He’d come back and seal what we’d started. We’d burn together.

  If it wasn’t… maybe Jaxon would have proven himself to be like his brother.

  Except… No matter what Jaxon did, I couldn’t believe he’d pull the same kind of shit as Braddox. Braddox had proven his lack of integrity, his lack of honor.

  We might be kids, but we had to have something honorable about us. If not, we weren’t any better than the jackass adults claiming to raise us.

  I turned back inside, shutting the door but not locking it as I hoped he would come back. If he was half as hot as I was from our night of foreplay, he’d be back. I could almost smell the hormones coming off me.

  Just in case he did, and in the hopes that he would come back, I tore my clothes off, leaving only the lacy thong and bra on as I brushed my teeth, braided my hair, and then climbed into my bed.

  He knew the way to my sheets. If he wanted to continue this, he could climb in when he got back.

  I couldn’t help the images running through my mind as I thought of the possibilities. Yes, I wanted him and I’d be hanged before anything else got in our way again.

  Chapter 24

  Jaxon

  Leaving Olivia took every ounce of my will power. I got around the corner of the apartment building and stopped to catch my breath. I didn’t want to go back to my place, but I needed to check on the lights I’d seen in the windows as we’d driven back to the complex. As much as Mom made my life a living hell, she was still my mom and I worried about her.

  I could change my clothes, too, and brush my teeth. I was more worried than normal that I would do something that would scare Olivia off. There was something innocent about her even as she touched me and made me burn.

  I pushed off the wall of the building, a decidedly present bounce to my step as I closed the distance to the apartment complex I lived in.

  Yep, the lights were definitely on in the apartment. I climbed the stairs with trepidation mounting in my chest. They were back. Or at least one of them was.

  I couldn’t help wishing that Norman had died somewhere. Maybe he’d gotten in a fight or something. Maybe he’d gotten in a car accident. My mom wouldn’t have been in the car, something, anything and she’d be safe.

  Maybe if Norman wasn’t in her life, she wouldn’t be the addict she was. Except, I knew that wasn’t true. She was addicted to the drugs and the alcohol and Norman was just the one with the hookups to get the things she needed. If Norman wasn’t there, she’d find someone else to supply it.

  Something that could make you choose a different life that tore apart your family had to be more powerful than just a simple inconvenience of having your dealer die.

  Yeah, Norman was a dealer but he blew his money and my mom’s on more smack and whatever else he was using at the time.

  When I reached the second landing, I could hear the yelling.

  Great. They were both there and they were fighting. I’d have to fix things with the neighbors in a little bit. How much longer would management tolerate the war scene that our apartment was on a weekly basis? If I was them, I’d kick us out.

  Except that left me homeless. I had no doubt Norman and my mom wouldn’t care what happened to me, if it wasn’t for the child support my father shuffled them.

  I slowed my steps the higher I climbed. I didn’t want to go in there and face them in all their angry glory. I should turn around, go back to Olivia’s and bury myself in the comfort she offered.

  Something hit the wall and the sound of broken glass punctuated the yells. I stopped walking and turned, ready to do exactly what I felt I should do – return to Olivia like I’d promised. Spend the night with her, hold onto the heat that burned between us.

  I took two steps down and then I heard my mom scream and it turned to loud sobs. The only times she screamed like that was usually tied in with Norman using his fists.

  Spinning toward the apartment, I ran up the remainder of the steps. Barreling through the door, I took a quick glance around the scene.

  Norman stood over my mom in his stained wife beater and unbuttoned pants. Spittle clung to the corner of his mouth as he stared down at her with his belt in his hand.

  Mom cowered on the ground, her hands over her head as she rocked back and forth on her knees. She shook, her sobs moving her chest with a hard ratcheting movement.

  A bright line of blood broke up the pale skin showing between her halter top strap and the waist piece.

  He had hit her with the belt.

  The truth stared me in the face and anger surged through me. I lunged toward him, grabbing hold of the belt in one hand while wrapping my other arm around his chest as I tackled him to the ground.

  We rolled around, knocking half-empty beer cans from the rickety coffee table. A bowl with half-smoked cigarettes and ashes fell, hitting my mom on the shoulder. She dropped to her rear on the ground, screaming as she watched us fight.

  I pulled the belt from Norman’s surprised grasp and reared back, whipping it down around his chest and shoulders as he struggled to get out from under me. But I held him relentlessly, pinning him beneath me with my legs while I used my hands to either whip him again or pummel him with the empty fist.

  Pure satisfaction filled me every single time my knuckles connected and something popped like his nose and blood coursed from his ugly face.

  In slow motion, I was torn from him by hands under my armpits. I couldn’t look away as they dragged me to the side. Norman blinked repeatedly, trying
to get the bearings I’d taken.

  Me.

  I was finally big enough to stick up for myself and my mom. He couldn’t take that away from me. He could kick me out. He could leave himself, but he had to know that his days of abuse were over.

  Mom had to know it, too. That had to fill her with such relief and gratitude. Maybe now she would see me as a good son and worthy of her attention and attempts to do better.

  I shifted my gaze to her face from Norman’s and recoiled at the pure hatred coming from her seething features as she stared at me. She lifted her finger and pointed at me. “This is all your fault. You can never just leave well enough alone.”

  Well enough? Her hatred doused my pride with cold water and it finally hit me that I was being lifted to my feet at the same time as Norman.

  Cops had arrived and they were slapping handcuffs on our wrists and speaking in mollifying monotones about being silent and represented. I didn’t care as Norman stumbled in front of them, blood staining his shirt and skin.

  Mom followed us to the door, whimpering to Norman how sorry she was and begging him for forgiveness. She’d get him out.

  She pierced me with her gaze and bit out, “Don’t come back. I’ll make do without the O’Donnell money. I don’t want you here.” Then she turned back to talk to another cop about what had happened.

  I went where they led me in a daze, blinking as it hit me that she didn’t love me. My mom had never loved me, not like I needed her to, not like she should. Maybe there was something wrong with me that she couldn’t choose me over Norman or her drugs. Maybe there was something with Braddox and Dad, too, that we couldn’t be what she needed.

  I didn’t know. I couldn’t focus on that.

  Instead, I was going to miss my chance to spend the night with Olivia. I’d promised I’d return and there I was headed to jail for the night.