“Hurry up and get into the house, I’m going to return the favor,” I promise with straight-up wicked intent in my voice. She shivers, eyes firing hot. “Then I’m going to ride you hard, Ella, because it’s been a long time.”
“I can take it,” she promises, because she’s always been able to take anything I give her. Ella and I can get pretty rough sometimes, and I’m proud to say we’ve broken two bedframes in our marriage.
Ella scrambles off me and I tuck myself back in my shorts, zipping and buttoning up. We both exit the vehicle, noting the streets are deserted as they should be this time of night, so we shouldn’t have been seen. If we were, I’m sure we’ll be getting a notice from our homeowner’s association soon, but I couldn’t give two fucks. All I care about is reconnecting with my wife.
♦
Covers and sheets have been kicked to the floor. Ella is on her stomach with me on top of her, which is essentially where we landed after I finished riding her hard like I promised and I’d had another massive orgasm, filling my wife for the second time tonight. She’s still up one orgasm on me—which is fine. I like spoiling her with my mouth.
I reluctantly pull out, ease my weight off her, and roll to my back. Not giving Ella any choice, I snake my arm under her and haul her to me. She’s practically dead weight, and I think I broke her good.
Moving her so she’s half on me, half on the mattress, I press her head onto my shoulder and twist to kiss the top of her head. “You okay?”
I feel her nod, her hand coming across my stomach to hold tight. Her voice is all raspy and fatigued. “That was incredible. I didn’t realize how much I missed it.”
“I know what you mean,” I murmur, running my fingertips along the smooth skin of her hip.
“Remember that time in the hotel in Toronto? We were banging the headboard a little hard against the wall, and the framed picture fell off?” She lets out a tiny giggle at the memory.
“Fuck yeah, I remember.” I smile fondly. The picture hit me on the shoulder, making a small gash before tumbling to the floor. I was deep in the throes of mindlessly fucking my wife from behind, and I barely noticed it. Ella was certainly oblivious. Only after we were done, limply sprawled across the mattress, did we realize I was bleeding like a stuck pig from the gash. Ella insisted it needed stitches, but I always carried butterfly bandages in my shave kit, so we made do with that.
The point being… we’ve always gotten lost in each other. The whole world could probably be burning down around us while we were having sex, and we wouldn’t even notice.
We lay silently for a few moments before I give her a tiny squeeze. “I’m going to get some water. Want one?”
“Yeah, that would be great,” she murmurs, then lets me slide out from underneath her.
It’s a quick trip to the kitchen and back with two ice-cold bottles of water, but when I return, Ella’s sitting against the headboard with the sheets pulled all the way over her breasts, her arms pinned down at the side to hold them there.
It’s a definite sign that post-sex cuddling is done, and I can’t say I’m surprised. While Ella is never shy about her body, I figure the move is calculated to make a statement.
And I’m okay with that. To put us on even footing, I set the bottles on the bedside table and bend over to grab my boxer briefs from the floor. After I pull them on, I sit on the side of the bed, angling toward her to hand her some water.
She uncaps it, takes a few long slugs, and then glances over. “You can’t stay the night.”
“Wasn’t going to ask to,” I say, challenge in my voice. “I was hoping to fuck you again before I left, though.”
Ella’s lips curl up, and the tension in her shoulders eases off. She gives me a sheepish look. “It’s just… I told you I want to take all of this slowly, and while what we just did was amazing and I want to do it again and again, I don’t want any mixed signals either.”
I nod in understanding. “We’re still separated. This is your house, and I have mine. Sleeping over would imply we’re moving too fast in a direction you’re not sure about.”
She winces but nods. “Am I being a bitch?”
I reach out, then take her hand. “You’re being cautious because you’ve been hurt. I get it, and I respect it. Doesn’t mean I like it, but I don’t have to. You put up with so much about me you didn’t like, so I figure you’re due. But just as long as you continue to let me see you—and I’m not just talking about sex—but that you continue to give me a shot at proving to you that I’m changing. For you. To be the type of man you want and need.”
Her expression softens, eyes filling with gratitude. “Thank you for understanding. And for making it easy on me with no guilt.”
“Won’t do that to you, Ella,” I assure her. “I want this to work more than I want anything else in my life. So I’ll do whatever you want me to.”
“I can’t afford to fall back into something that’s not going to last,” she murmurs, gaze dropping down to our hands. “Maybe us being intimate isn’t the greatest idea because it could be confusing.”
“And now I’m going to have to disagree with you,” I exclaim, dropping her hand and leaning across the bed to put my head on her lap. I look up at her, and it touches me to my soul when she smiles, threading her fingers through the hair on top of my head. “Not about to give the sex up. Yes, it could be confusing, but damn it… you and I are like magic in bed and with all the unknowns and pressures we are facing, we both need something good, positive, and hopeful.”
Ella considers that before giving me a sly smile. “We could just proceed with the divorce and be friends with benefits.”
“You’re not only sexy but funny.” I laugh.
She joins me, but then sobers again. “It’s just… you are coming at me so fast, Jim. It’s all so sudden, and I’m overwhelmed by your words, your promises, and your actions, and then add onto that what we just did and how right it felt. Everything in me is screaming let’s just fall back into it all the way, but there’s a tiny part of my heart that’s holding out. There’s a part of me that just thinks you’re a little lonely, and this is the answer to it.”
“Not true—”
Ella holds up her hand. “Maybe not true, but it’s my fear. I’m scared if I let you back in all the way because this is perfect and exactly what I want, that things will go right back to the way they were. I don’t think I can survive that type of heartbreak again, Jim. You don’t know how much it killed me to ask you to leave… to take that step in ending our marriage.”
I go up to one elbow so I can get closer to her face, and her hand falls from my hair. “I can’t even imagine how hard it was for you, Ella. I know it was not a decision you made lightly, nor on a whim. I only wish I had fought you on it then… had fought for you then. There was a time I just thought the marriage was over, and I was going to let you go. But I’m not going to do that now. If it takes you weeks, months, hell, Ella… if it takes you years to fully trust my devotion to you, I’m in this for however long it takes.”
Ella nods, biting into her lower lip. I can see her eyes starting to water because every bit of this is overwhelming. I decide to make it easy on her.
I push forward, smack a kiss on her mouth, and bound off the bed. “Okay… I’m out of here. Get some sleep.”
Ella settles down onto the pillows, watching me get dressed. I pat my back pocket to make sure my wallet is there, front pocket for keys, and grab my cell phone off the dresser.
I glance back to find her studying me with a fond smile.
“I love you,” I say. So fucking much.
“I love you,” she replies simply but clearly. “And tonight was wonderful. Thank you.”
I wink, then start backing for the bedroom door. “We’re all still good for tomorrow, right?”
Because tomorrow, we spring the puppy on Lucy. She knows she’s going to foster one, but she doesn’t think she’s getting it until next week. We sort of fudged the delivery date so it would be a surpr
ise.
Ella suggested she fix dinner, and I show up with the puppy. She’s going to go shopping tomorrow morning for the supplies we’re going to need for the next few weeks. While the guide dog organization we’re working with supplies what we need for a puppy, it’s for only one household. Since the pupper is going to be hopping between my house and Ella’s, we need a duplicate set.
“At six,” Ella says with a nod. “I’ll make your favorite.”
My heart pangs at the small but completely thoughtful gesture that she’d think to make me her to-die-for baked ziti. “Can’t wait.”
She blows me a kiss. I leave because she’s asked me to, and I’ll be seeing her tomorrow. I’m a patient man, and I can wait until she’s sure we will make this work.
CHAPTER 11
Steele
I can only imagine Lucy’s joy when she opens the door. I’ll be standing there with the pup in hand, but I know I am practically vibrating with excitement myself. Not only because we’re going to be shocking the hell out of our daughter, but also because I did this with Ella.
No matter what our differences may have been or still are, we came together as a team, made a great parenting decision, and we’re doing this for Lucy as a family unit. That means more to me than anything.
I glance over at the little wire kennel the service dog foundation gave me to transport him in. It’s a sweet, twelve-week-old chocolate lab named Brody. He’s pretty chill, curled into a round ball, but he’s not sleeping. Eyes open and alert, as if he’s just waiting to find out what’s around the next corner.
The back of my Range Rover is loaded with two boxes of food, dog toys, bowls, a leash, and appropriate treats. That will go to my house for when Lucy and Brody come to stay. Ella has an identical list at her home, already purchased and hiding until we hand the puppy off to Lucy.
Have to admit… today was fun. I had team meetings and light practice. Throughout the day, Ella and I texted back and forth. Some of it was practical, like making sure we agreed on all the dog rules we’d lay down with Lucy tonight. Some of it was lighthearted teasing. Some of it was sexy.
I can’t remember the last time I texted my wife throughout the day just for the hell of it. I had fun with it, and I know without a doubt she had fun with it, too. Which made me realize what a douche I’d been for never doing something as simple as letting her know she was on my mind in just such a way.
I make a mental note to send her flowers tomorrow—just for the hell of it. I’m going for a quick overnight trip as we play the Vegas Spades, and I want to let her know she’ll be on my mind.
Pulling into the driveway, I cut my headlights so Lucy doesn’t see me approach. I shut the engine off, quietly get out of my side, and press the door closed rather than slamming it. On the other side, I open the passenger door, then spring the latch on the wire kennel, and Brody totters straight at me with tail wagging.
I lift him in my arms, hoping like hell the Claritin I took will keep my sneezing and watery eyes at bay. Quietly, I shut the door and then move over to a small patch of grass to the right of the driveway. I place the puppy down so he will go potty before I bring him in.
Never having had a dog before, I had no clue what it takes to raise one. The people at the service dog foundation were helpful, though, spending about an hour with me today when I picked Brody up to explain exactly how we would care for him the next two weeks, which included potty training tips.
I patiently wait for him to do his business, which includes a few minutes where he attacks my shoelaces and tugs. Fuck, he’s cute.
Eventually, he sniffs around, tail high, and then abruptly squats to pee. I thought boy dogs lifted their legs, but maybe not at this age. As instructed, I immediately bend and give him extreme praise with an upbeat, positive tone that makes him excited. He puts his paws up on my shin, accepting my scratches with tail wagging and tongue lolling out the side of his head. Lucy is going to fall in love with this guy.
Our pre-meeting business done, I scoop Brody up in my arms and make my way to the sidewalk. The kitchen is at the front of the house, so I can see through a peek in the curtains over the sink that Ella is at the kitchen island with Lucy on the opposite side. My heart starts beating faster at the thought of spending the evening with my girls—and apparently the new boy in my arms—and I find it almost shameful I have such excitement over it. Shouldn’t I have always been this excited? Or is it normal for things to just settle, and we take them for granted?
I don’t know the answer to that, but instead, choose to just revel in the excitement I have right now.
At the door, I give it a few solid knocks and as planned, Ella will tell Lucy to answer it.
In moments, it’s swinging open. I get a flash of Ella walking up behind Lucy, but then my eyes are pinned on my daughter, whose own are wide with shock and pinned on the puppy squirming in my arms.
She stares mutely, frozen, as if she can’t decide what to do.
Finally, I say, “Surprise.”
Her gaze rises to meet mine. “I get the puppy today? But it’s not supposed to be until next week.”
I look over Lucy’s shoulder at Ella, who has a soft smile as she watches us. I give my attention to Lucy. “Well, your mother and I decided to callously lie to you so we could make it a surprise.”
Laughing, Lucy exclaims, “That’s a lie I can live with.”
Still, she makes no move forward, so I goad her. “Come get this damn dog before I start sneezing all over the place. His name is Brody.”
That’s all it takes for Lucy to scoop Brody into her arms, pressing her nose into his head and murmuring little endearments. He reacts to her voice by wiggling frantically and trying to lick her face. My daughter laughs in a delighted way I’ve never quite heard before.
Once again, I look at Ella, who is staring at our daughter and I can tell she’s as charmed by it as I am.
I move into the house, then shut the door. “He just peed outside, but you need to keep a close eye on him, Luce. If he starts sniffing around or circling, that probably means he has to use the bathroom. Scoop him up and hightail it out back. After he does his business, give him lots of praise and affirmation. It helps if your voice is on the higher side as he’ll respond better.”
“Got it,” she says while plopping on the living room floor and putting Brody down between her legs. The puppy jumps at her, and they start to play.
“There are a lot more things your mom and I need to go over with you, including some socialization, play techniques, and some light training.”
“Got it,” she replies again, not even paying attention to me because she’s so caught up in the little fur monster who is now chewing on the end of Lucy’s braid.
“Come on, Jim,” Ella says, and my gaze moves to her. She jerks her chin to the kitchen. “Dinner is almost done, and I have a cold beer for you.”
Lucy ignores us both as we move into the kitchen.
It would be natural for me to sit at the kitchen island while Ella gets the beer and checks on the baked ziti, but Lucy can see me from where she is in the living room. So I follow Ella behind the island. Before she can make it two steps, I move right into the back of her. Hands at her hips, I push her all the way forward until the counter catches her hips, then dip to put my lips to her neck.
Her head falls back and she utters the tiniest of sighs, one arm looping back to go around the side of my head so she can thread her fingers in my hair. It’s an intimate embrace, but not one to provoke lust. Just a message I missed her, and I love touching her in this gentle, loving way.
“Lucy might see us,” she murmurs.
“Oh, the tragedy,” I whisper dryly. “Our daughter seeing her parents hugging.”
Ella snickers and pulls away, glancing over her shoulder. “It would be shocking to her. And until we know what we are or where we’re going, she should probably be kept in the dark. I don’t want her getting her hopes up.”
“Makes sense,” I utter in a l
ow voice before moving to the island. I glance back to see Lucy on her back, the puppy trying to climb up. “So, no touching while in her presence. Check.”
Ella snorts, then hands me a beer. She has one in hand, and we tap bottles. “Great job on the whole dog thing, Jim.”
“Back at you, hot stuff,” I reply and then immediately, I snap my head Lucy’s way to see if she heard that.
Too absorbed in the puppy, she’s paying us no mind.
Smirking, Ella moves to the oven, where she bends to take a peek through the window. Yes, I stare at her ass as she does so, even though it’s mostly covered. She’s wearing a pair of leggings with a slouchy t-shirt, and her feet are bare. While she can rock a business suit or a ball gown, this is how I prefer her. Just naturally Ella.
“It’s done,” she announces, opening the oven to pull the huge pan of baked ziti out.
“Need help with that?” I ask, noting it looks like it probably weighs fifty pounds.
Twisting, she grins. “Sure. I made a double batch to send you home with some leftovers.”
And yeah… that gets me. That she not only made my favorite meal, but she’s also sending me home with leftovers. I pop off the stool, round the island, and take the two potholders she’s holding out to me.
After I carefully lift the bubbling, cheesy pan from the oven—which is fucking heavy, so I’m glad I’m getting it out for her—Ella shuts the oven door. I set it down on the two trivets she’s placed on the counter.
Bending over, I inhale the scent deeply. Ella is neither Italian nor someone who enjoys cooking elaborate meals, but this is something she excelled at early in our marriage. I’m grateful she continues to make it for me. “Smells delicious.”
Ella bumps her hip against me. “Well… you have been pretty attentive and amazing the last few days, so…”
I bump her hip back before sliding my hand around her waist. Bending my head, I murmur, “Admit it… it’s for the orgasms I gave you last night.”
She chuckles with a sly smile. “Maybe.”
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