by James Bowen
I couldn’t stop myself from laughing.
It struck me that we all need security, but sometimes we need insecurity, too. Some surprise elements that provide us with challenges and chances to learn. It helps us to grow. To learn. And if we can do so while having some fun as well, then all the better.
PART THREE
Being Bob – How to Get the Most Out of Life
Cats are experts at getting the most from life. They know what they want and know how to get it. And they execute their plans with laser-like efficiency. Bob is a master at squeezing the most from every day. He has strategies for success that would put even the most brilliant business minds to shame.
But he also seems to know how to enjoy and savour life, too. How to extract the positive from every situation. How to have the maximum fun. Spending time with him has opened my eyes to some of the secrets of his success. And it’s made me wonder whether – at least, every now and again – we’d all benefit from being a little like Bob.
Think Slow, Act Fast
It is fascinating to watch the way Bob makes a decision. Before he does so, he will often sit there, like some little Buddha, slowly mulling over the choices in front of him. You can almost hear the machinations in his brain. Tick. Tick. Tick.
It doesn’t matter what it is. He might be wondering whether to go for a stretch, a snooze or head to his bowl for something to eat. He will only take action when he’s ready. Not a second earlier, not a second later.
When he makes his move, however, he is decisive. Boom . There’s no hesitation. He knows what he wants and how to get it. And he generally does. He acts fast and gets results.
In a world where too many of us are indecisive or make snap decisions that we come to regret, we’d do well to take a leaf out of Bob’s book.
To think slow, but act fast.
Believe in Yourself
Cats aren’t weighed down by a lack of self-confidence. They don’t harbour any self-doubt, at all. As far as we can tell, at least.
They seem to know what they want and are determined to get it.
I have a strong feeling that this is one of the keys to Bob’s general wellbeing. He always exudes self-confidence. He seems totally comfortable in his own skin. We could all learn from it. We are all weighed down by insecurities and self-doubt.
I know it isn’t easy, but we all have strengths and qualities that we can draw upon to give us confidence in ourselves. If we believe in ourselves, the world looks a very different place.
Our Happiness Lies Within
Bob can spend hours entertaining himself. He can fill half the day lying on the windowsill, watching the world go by. At our old flat in north London, he would watch the clouds floating by, the rain falling, the people and traffic passing by – anything and everything had the potential to entertain him. He’s the same at our new home. He will lie there staring out into the garden, quietly mesmerised by the world outside.
Watching him, it often strikes me that he embodies something very simple, yet very profound. Something that a lot of people struggle to understand. There’s a very famous Chinese saying: ‘Happiness is the absence of the striving for happiness.’
What I think that means is that our happiness isn’t dependent on others. It isn’t something that we have to chase after. It actually lies within ourselves.
Bob seems to know that.
Open Your Eyes
During his days on the street, Bob loved nothing more than sitting with me on the pavement on a sunny day, quietly watching the world rushing past. He would take in everything. In his own laid-back way, of course.
Sometimes it would seem like his eyes were closed, but he missed nothing. It might be a bird scavenging for food in a nearby bin, a street performer setting up, a passer-by with an interesting outfit. He would quietly raise his head and zoom in. He would then watch or listen; fascinated, absorbing it all. It was as if he knew there was something to be gained from the experience. Something new, enlightening or simply entertaining to see.
We walk around with our eyes open, but there are times when we might as well have them closed. We are too busy, too wrapped up in our day-to-day lives to see what’s in front of us.
We miss out on so much as a result.
There’s Wonder All Around Us
Bob has an amazing effect on people. Men and women would often come across him lying on the pavement and be moved to tears. It was as if they’d discovered hidden treasure or a long lost relative. They would sit down and stroke him for a few minutes and be transformed. And often they weren’t even cat lovers.
It made me wonder about the way we see the world. When people are looking for inspiration, they always tend to look upwards. To the skies. To the heavens. It’s only natural. We are always being told that it’s where the real wonder of life lies. Reach for the stars, we are told. Never reach for the gutter.
And yet, it seemed to me, at least, that by looking for inspiration in unexpected places, our imaginations, our minds – and best of all our hearts – might be opened up even more.
There is beauty and wonder there, too, if we only take the trouble to see it.
If You See a Chance, Take It
Like every other cat in the world, Bob is an opportunist. He will make the most of any opportunity that is presented to him.
It might be the offer of a snack or a treat. It might be an invitation to have his tummy tickled or go off for an exploratory walk in the bushes in the park. Whatever it is, his attitude is – if it’s there, I am going to accept it.
In those situations, he doesn’t humm and haah endlessly. He doesn’t weigh up the pros and cons for very long. He sees the door – and then goes through it. There are times in all our lives, when we would do well to take the same approach.
If you see a chance, take it.
Don’t Dwell on the Small Stuff
There’s a well known book called ‘Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff’. Its basic message is simple: don’t fixate on the tiny irritations or setbacks in life. Let them go. Put them into the proper perspective. Don’t turn them into big stuff that makes you stressed and unhappy.
Bob seems to instinctively operate according to that philosophy.
It’s rare that he gets into a confrontation with another cat or a dog, for instance, but even if he does, he doesn’t seem to let it get under his skin. Once that confrontation has run its course, he will almost always walk away. Regardless of the outcome.
We humans don’t do this easily. We are prone to seek revenge or retribution. To stew on even the smallest things, take them personally. I can’t know exactly what goes on in Bob’s brain, but he seems to simply gets on with it. It’s as if he knows that feeling angry or vengeful is a waste of time. I have a strong suspicion that it’s one of the reasons he lives such a seemingly contented existence.
Be Appreciative
Like all cats, Bob seems to live in the present. Who knows whether he thinks about the past, or the future? What’s quite clear is that in his day-to-day life, he deals in the here and now.
If he wants to grab a snooze, it doesn’t matter if it is on a cold pavement or on a comfortable sofa. It makes no difference to him. He will curl himself up and nod off, oblivious to whatever is going on around him.
It’s the same at meal times. It doesn’t matter if his food bowl contains a few handfuls of biscuit or a feast of gourmet tuna, he will gobble it down just the same. His attitude is: that’s my meal. I’ll eat what’s in front of me.
I’ve often watched him and wondered whether there’s a lesson there for all of us. The fact is that none of us is ever going to get everything that we want in life. None of us. We can work and strive to make things better, but we will never get all we want. It’s impossible.
And that means that, as we go through life, we have a choice.
We can either get wrapped up in that: be obsessed with what we don’t have, and the fact that we won’t ever have it. Or we can appreciate what we do have.
I watch Bob some mornings and envy him. He wakes himself up, tucks into his breakfast and heads into his new day unencumbered by what happened yesterday or the day before.
To him, each morning marks the beginning of not only a new day, but a new opportunity to be content and happy. A chance to enjoy all that life has to offer him.
I often tell myself that it’s not a bad philosophy to adopt. Especially when life seems hard. If you can forget about what happened yesterday and treat today as a fresh start, you are already halfway towards ensuring that today is a better one.
Know Your Limitations
For all his confidence, it is rare that Bob bites off more than he can chew. It’s as if he knows his limitations. He is aware not to be too ambitious.
It’s almost as though he knows that old Chinese saying: ‘A bird can roost but on one branch and a mouse can drink no more than its fill from a river.’
It is something I tell myself often.
We should all know – and accept – our limitations.
There’s Something Good in Every Day
Life on the streets could be miserable. I was ignored, abused – even spat at, on occasion.
But Bob was always there to cheer me up. It might be a silly thing he did, or simply a moment with him on the bus when he curled up next to me. Whenever he did that, I was reminded of something universal.
While, every day may not be good, there’s something good in every day.
Let the Sun Shine In
Bob and I spent much of our first summer together sitting on the pavement near Covent Garden, busking in the rush hour. It wasn’t the greatest of summers, weather-wise. The days were often overcast, the sun was an infrequent visitor.
Whenever it did appear in the skies, however, I noticed that it had an instant effect on Bob. He would spend most of his days curled up in a ball, quietly watching the flow of tourists and shoppers rushing past us.
The moment the sun arrived in the sky above us, though, he was a cat on a mission. He would begin shifting himself around, moving in and out of the shadows as he worked out the sunniest spot. He would then stretch his body out on the floor, elongating himself so as to get the maximum benefit.
Often it would be a fleeting opportunity. The sun would quickly disappear behind a new, passing cloud. But it didn’t bother Bob one bit. He was always determined to make the absolute most of every ray of sunshine that was available.
It always made me smile to myself. I was full of admiration for him – and his philosophy. Life is short. Sometimes you have to squeeze every ounce of joy and pleasure you can from it. The sun doesn’t always shine. If it’s there, you should let it in.
Pick Your Battles
It was a bright summer’s day and Bob was facing a dilemma. On the one hand, he was very happy lying on the sill of the open window as the sun streamed into our living room. On the other he was irritated by the bees that had been attracted to the flowers at the top of the garden near the window. He wanted them to buzz off.
For a few moments, I watched him weighing up his options. He was clearly asking himself: ‘Can I get them?’
If it had been inside the house, it would have been a different story. But it was clear it would take a precision strike to leap through the window out on to the flower bed and to catch the bees. It was almost impossible, a million to one shot, but he kept mulling it over. Along with something else.
The other thing that was annoying him was a box of tissues on the sill. He’d parked himself tight up against it and was clearly unhappy that it was there. The sun was shining at its brightest in that exact spot.
It took him a minute or so to complete his calculations. As he did so, he looked back and forth between the bees outside and the box of tissue next to him. What to do?
When he made his move, it was decisive. In a smooth movement, he swished at the tissue box with his paw, flipping it off the sill on to the floor so that he now had the best spot. He then proceeded to splay himself out on the sill, soaking up the sunshine. The bees were forgotten.
It was an object lesson. If you are faced with a problem that you can do something about – then do something. But if you can’t do anything – let it go.
Focus on what you can change. Forget about what you cannot. Life will be much simpler and enjoyable if you do.
Curiosity Doesn’t Kill the Cat
If there’s one expression that leaves me scratching my head, it is this: curiosity killed the cat.
I really don’t get it. Curiosity, to my mind, is an intrinsic part of a cat’s make-up. It is actually a life-saver, something that adds to their day-to-day existence.
Bob certainly loves exploring. Wherever we go, he will scout out his surroundings. He won’t sit down contentedly until he’s checked out the location fully. He will spend ages sniffing and shoving his head into nooks and crannies, rooting around until he is satisfied he has seen all there is to see.
It’s partly an instinctive cat trait. He wants to feel safe and secure. He is marking out his territory. But it’s partly, too, because he’s curious – and, to judge from the way he wags his tail and nonchalantly strolls around, exploring the world around him makes him happy.
Too many of us lead incurious lives. Too many of us are afraid to try something new. Too many want to stick to the well-worn path, rather than following the uncharted one where we can leave our own trail. We should all embrace the unknown sometimes.
Curiosity doesn’t kill anyone or anything. Quite the opposite – it is the source of some of the best things in life.
Always Enjoy the Journey
We were out walking in a nearby park one windy, autumn day, when Bob spotted a small pile of fallen leaves. They had been blown by the wind and had formed into a small pyramid. Bob jogged over to it, then waded into the pile until he was so deep into the leaves I could barely see his legs. He then began thrashing away, frantically clearing leaves away with his paws.
It was hilarious. For a while he was lost in a flurry of brown, gold and silver leaves.
It was impossible for me to know what was going through his mind. Perhaps he had decided there was something hidden under the leaves? Maybe he smelled a mouse or some food?
It wasn’t long before the pyramid had been flattened, reduced to a blanket of leaves. Sure enough, there was something lying on the grass now, glinting in the afternoon sun. Unfortunately, it wasn’t as exciting as Bob might have hoped. It was a battered, old Coke can.
He nudged it with his nose, to check it was as unpromising as it appeared. He then jogged away, eager to explore another, smaller pile of leaves, the disappointment of the previous one already forgotten.
Sitting on a bench nearby, watching the scene unfold, I couldn’t help smiling. I was reminded me of that old saying: ‘To travel hopefully is a better thing than to arrive’. We place so much emphasis on achieving our goals, on reaching our destinations, that we often forget to enjoy the journey.
We should follow Bob’s example and simply relish the journey for what it is, regardless of where it takes us.
Take Things Little by Little
I was working in my living room one morning, when I heard a noise in the kitchen.
I found Bob standing at the foot of the fridge looking up, fixated on something. One of his favourite treat sticks was balancing precariously on the edge of the fridge. I must have left it there.
It wasn’t long before his teatime, and I didn’t want him snacking now. So I ignored it and went back to work. I was writing a reply to an email that had made me a little angry. I wanted to vent my frustration.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him pacing around. He then jumped up on to the worktop near the fridge, about five feet away from the treat.
He had a dilemma. If he jumped up at it and nudged the fridge, he risked knocking the treat down the side where he would never be able to get to it. He was sitting there studying the situation. Weighing up his options.
A moment or two later, I looked again. Bob had now nudged a packet of biscuits into position beneath the treat and was standing on it, stretching upwards. With the most delicate movement of his paw, he nudged the treat in the right direction. He then got down, repositioned himself and did it again. He did that three times, but then on the fourth, the treat tipped off the edge and fell . . . on to the kitchen floor.
Mission accomplished.
I’d written a rather harsh email, but hadn’t yet hit ‘send’. As I fed Bob the contents of the treat, I decided against it. I did so later, but in more temperate language. And I got the result I wanted in the process.
Sometimes you have to achieve your goals by stealth. Intelligently. Patiently.
Little by little.
PART FOUR
Bob vs the World – How to Survive All That Life Throws at Us
It is often said that knowledge comes from learning, while wisdom comes from living. It has always struck me as being very true. So much of our so-called knowledge comes to us second-hand, from books, through film or television. Very few of us know things through first-hand experience.
I am frequently reminded of this when I look at Bob. He has not learned about life second-hand. All the wisdom he has acquired has come to him the hard way, from the years he spent on the streets, coping with people and situations of all kinds.
It is why I have always found it so interesting to try to understand that wisdom. And why it is so valuable. He has taught me a lot about coping with – and maybe even learning from – everything life has to throw at us.