by G. R. Lyons
But it didn't stop him from missing the man. Ryley went inside, filled the bath, and scrubbed himself raw. It was going to be strange going back to using an actual shower someday, assuming he ever got the chance. At least Jadu'n had some semblance of modern plumbing, even if it did require extra effort to produce hot water since Ryley wasn't able to cast a spell to make it happen.
Once he was dry, he collapsed into bed and tried to find sleep again, craving the escape from both his mind and his body. His heart ached with thoughts of Asher, and his skin still crawled with need. He hadn't gone so long without being touched by another human being since he'd become sexually active at the age of fifteen. Even now, it was all he could do to resist putting his own hand on his cock, the damned thing hard as steel between his legs and begging for attention. Just the simple friction from shifting around on the bed was nearly enough to set him off.
He couldn't do it. Not even being alone, with no one around who might get hurt. He just couldn't risk letting the magic out.
Ryley finally slept, but when he woke the next morning, he didn't feel the least bit rested. He closed his eyes and counted his breaths, but the familiar rhythm didn't bring him as much calm as it once did. It didn't help that his cock was hard again. Maybe still hard, for all he knew. Hells, he was so wound up, he honestly couldn't remember the last time the damned thing had gone down.
Forcing himself to ignore it, Ryley got dressed, made himself something to eat, then went to meet Master Ross at their usual place in a garden just a few minutes' walk from Eventide. He found the mage already there, waiting for him.
“Ah, good morning,” Master Ross greeted him with a smile.
“Morning,” Ryley muttered.
“How are you this fine day, dear boy?”
Fine? Ryley inwardly scoffed. There was nothing fine about it. Not that Master Ross needed his attitude. Inhale, one. Ryley blew out the breath and tried for a smile, though he wasn't sure he succeeded.
“Are you ready to begin?” the mage asked.
Ryley nodded. Might as well get this over with. His skin still crawled with hunger, making him fidgety, but he had to force himself to ignore it. He had to focus.
“Very well.” Master Ross took a seat on a stone bench and patted the space beside him. Ryley sat, and watched as the mage deliberately placed a pebble in the palm of his hand. “Take the stone from me,” he ordered.
Ryley focused, looking down at the mage's hand, keeping his eyes trained on the pebble. He tried to block out everything around him, concentrating on the tiny stone and what he wanted it to do, trying to funnel his intention down to that single point so that the magic would know where to go and do his bidding. He tightened his jaw and clenched his hands into fists, but the damned thing wouldn't budge.
“Breathe,” Master Ross said. “Calm. You can do this.”
Ryley took a breath and tried again, but every time he managed to think of the stone to the exclusion of all else, something would intrude upon his awareness and scatter his concentration. First it was the sound of a breeze through the leaves. Then a rabbit scampering through the garden just on the edge of Ryley's field of vision. Then Master Ross shifted, bringing his body a few inches closer, close enough that Ryley could feel the heat of the man. Ryley swallowed hard and tried to concentrate again, but the damned pebble just wouldn't move.
Master Ross set the pebble aside and lowered his hand to his lap. “Rest,” he murmured. “You are taxing yourself.”
Ryley sighed and ran his hands through his hair. “I can't focus.”
Master Ross was silent for a moment, studying him, then shifted closer still. “Ryley, may I ask…” He paused, looking Ryley over before meeting his eyes again. “When was the last time you–” The man broke off, but he gave Ryley's crotch a meaningful glance.
Ryley felt himself blush. “H-How is that relevant?” he asked.
“It is a distraction,” Master Ross said, “robbing you of focus.” He paused, then added, “This distraction has become a persistent thing, I have noticed.”
Ryley's blush got worse. Gods damn it all.
Master Ross shifted closer so that their legs touched from knee to hip, and he lightly rested a hand on Ryley's thigh as he lowered his voice. “I could help you.”
Ryley whimpered. His entire body was screaming with need, fired up by that simple touch. His skin begged for more, tempting Ryley to say, Yes, please. More. Higher. Touch me. Grab me. Make me come undone. He'd resisted for far too long, leaving his body desperate for contact, and here was a man offering him exactly what he wanted.
But his head kept screaming no. He loved Asher. Even if he was sure he'd never get to see the man again, he couldn't bear the thought of betraying him that way.
“I can't–” Ryley protested.
“It would make you feel so much better,” Master Ross murmured, inching his hand up higher. “You said, yourself, there was no one special.” He paused, then added in a whisper, “Let me touch you, Ryley.”
Ryley whimpered again. Fuck. He continued to war with himself, his body clamoring for more while his mind urged him to stop.
Just a little bit higher. Oh gods, just a little bit higher.
He shook his head. No. This was wrong. He couldn't do this.
But, gods, how he wanted it.
“Ryley–” the mage whispered.
There was no way. He couldn't do this. Not to Asher.
Master Ross brought his hand up a bit higher, just inches from where Ryley so desperately needed contact.
Ryley shoved the man back. “No!” he yelled.
Then his hands erupted into flames.
Chapter 22
“WHOA!” RYLEY shouted, heart racing in panic at the sight of fire dancing over his skin. Oh gods. What the hells had he done?
Master Ross slowly stood, holding both hands out in front of himself. “Ryley, be calm. It is quite alright.”
“How is this alright?” Ryley screamed. Gods, was he going to die like this? Couldn't the mage just do something? Ryley looked up at the man, ready to beg him to make the fire stop.
That was when he noticed Asher standing just a few feet away.
* * *
ASHER FOLLOWED Vic through the starglass Gate and gasped at his first sight of Jadu'n.
“Good gods,” he breathed. This was where Ryley had gone? No wonder he hadn't come back at all. Why would anyone ever want to leave? Asher had thought his little island was a paradise of sorts, despite the isolation, but it didn't hold a candle to what he saw before him. The beauty of the place was downright magical.
“He lives this way,” Vic said, waving at Asher to follow.
Asher trailed after Vic, gaping at everything he saw. The Isle almost seemed like a creature unto itself, pulsing with life. Everywhere he looked, he saw vibrant trees, lush gardens, and trailing vines that seemed to grow right before his eyes. He could almost feel the Isle all around him. Then again, maybe it was just all the magic the place contained.
Even the dwellings he spotted seemed to exist naturally rather than having been made by human hands. The stonework and windows that he spied, tucked away between trees or carved into hillsides, were done with such elegance and precision that they seemed to be part of nature, formed by the elements, leaving the gardens looking pure and untarnished by human intrusion.
They reached a cottage that was slightly more obvious than some of the others they'd passed, and Vic gestured at it. “That's Ryley's, apparently. Every mage is given a place of his own, to use whenever he wants during his life.”
Asher stared at the front door, shaking his head. So that's where Ryley had been staying all this time, where Ryley had been sleeping and eating and living, all alone.
At least, he assumed Ryley was alone. He hadn't yet allowed himself to contemplate anything different.
Vic walked up to the door and knocked, but after waiting several moments and trying again, there was still no answer. “Maybe he's off training somewhere,”
Vic suggested.
Asher shrugged and followed as Vic walked off, looking around and listening for any sign of Ryley.
They stepped into another garden and finally spotted him, sitting on a bench next to a man in white robes. The pair were sitting awfully close, the robed man inching closer until he rested a hand on Ryley's knee. Even from a distance, Asher saw Ryley shudder with need.
Asher took a deep breath, and let it out slowly. Maybe Ryley had moved on. If he had, Asher would just have to accept it.
Then he watched as Ryley struggled, just sitting there, not responding to what was an obvious come-on. Asher frowned, waiting for the inevitable. The man was attractive, after all, and sitting so close, his intentions plain. Yet Ryley resisted.
Suddenly, Ryley jumped up, shoving the man away, and his hands became engulfed in flames.
Holy shit. Asher gasped, stunned by the sight. Ryley was panicking, as though he hadn't meant to create that fire, but Asher was in awe, seeing Ryley's power do such a thing.
He'd never been so turned on in his life.
In the midst of the robed man trying to calm Ryley down, Ryley looked past the man and locked gazes with Asher.
“Ash?” Ryley gasped, his eyes going wide.
The robed man looked over his shoulder, then turned back to Ryley. “Ryley, focus. Concentrate. Contain the fire in your palms before you harm yourself.”
Ryley tore his eyes away from Asher and focused on his hands instead. Asher and Vic shared a glance, then watched as Ryley frowned, breathing hard, intent upon the fire, the flames shifting and dancing until they shrunk away from his wrists and the backs of his hands and became two focused points of energy, swirling against Ryley's palms.
“Ha!” Ryley laughed, his eyes wide and bright. “Holy shit. I did it!”
His joy didn't last, though. A moment later, Ryley's face went pale, his whole body sagging and his lips turning blue.
“Ryley!” the robed man cried out, grabbing Ryley by the shoulders. “Put it out. You must stop. Now!”
Asher ran forward just as Ryley crumpled, the flames vanishing as Ryley hit the ground.
“Ry!” Asher cried, crouching next to Ryley. Vic was right behind him while the robed man knelt at Ryley's other side. Asher took Ryley's hand and hissed, almost dropping it. His skin was like ice.
“What happened?” Vic asked.
The robed man shook his head, shoving one hand up under Ryley's t-shirt and pressing the other onto the ground at Ryley's side. “He was drawing heat for the flames from his own body. He should have used the air or the ground as a source, but he has not learned that yet.”
Ryley's whole body trembled, his skin still frightfully cold.
“Is he gonna be alright?” Asher demanded.
“Hush,” the robed man whispered, pressing his hand more firmly over Ryley's heart.
Asher held his breath, waiting, clutching Ryley's hand between both of his own. Come on, Ry. Asher chewed on his lip and watched as the color slowly returned to Ryley's face while his skin grew warm again and the shivers faded away.
Ryley blinked heavily and slowly looked around. “Ash?” he whispered.
“Yeah, Ry.” Asher grinned, sighing with relief. “I'm right here.”
Ryley kept slowly blinking as though he weren't quite all there, then a look of horror crossed his face as he jerked back from them all and stumbled to his feet, backing away.
“Ash, you can't be here,” Ryley gasped.
“Ryley–”
“No,” Ryley cried, holding out his hands. He closed his eyes for a second and sucked in a breath, then looked at Asher again. “Stay away. I don't want to hurt you.”
“Ryley, it's alright. You can't hurt me.”
Ryley nodded frantically, wringing his hands and backing up even more.
“Ryley,” Vic murmured, his voice low and soothing, “Asher's safe now. He's still in therapy, but he's fully healed. What you did can't ever happen again.”
“But what if something else happens?” Ryley protested, his eyes still wide with panic. “What if I do– What if I–” He made a frantic gesture at the spot where he'd just been lying, then hugged himself, tucking his hands under his armpits. “I'm out of control. I can't–” He closed his eyes again, and Asher watched, knowing the man was counting his breaths. Ryley exhaled heavily. “I'm not ready, Ash,” he said, looking up at Asher, eyes wide and pleading. “I don't trust myself. Not yet. Maybe not ever.” He shook his head, slowly at first, then faster and more firmly. “I can't go back.”
Asher slowly approached him. “I'm not asking you to.”
Ryley blinked, his arms dropping to his sides. “What?”
Asher moved closer. “I'm not here to ask you to come home.”
“Then–” Ryley shook his head. “Why are you here?”
“I missed you, that's all,” Asher murmured. “I just wanted to see you.”
Ryley whimpered, backing up a step, but there was nowhere left for him to go. He was backed right up against the garden wall, the stone covered in flowers and vines. “Ash,” he whined.
“It's alright,” Asher whispered, slowly closing the distance between them.
“Ash,” Ryley whined again, shaking his head.
“You can't hurt me,” Asher insisted. He took the last step that brought them to within inches of one another. “It's alright.”
Ryley gasped out a breath, then threw his arms around Asher's waist.
“I've missed you so much.”
Asher sighed and hugged Ryley back, resting his cheek on top of Ryley's head. “I've missed you, too.”
RYLEY DIDN'T want to open his eyes, certain that he was dreaming, that if he so much as flinched, he'd wake up and find out that Asher wasn't really there.
“Ash,” he whispered.
“Shhh.” Asher tightened his hold. “It's alright.”
Ryley slowly shook his head, then gasped and pulled back, looking around. There was no sign of Master Ross. Nor Vic, for that matter. He had no idea when exactly Vic and Asher had arrived, so he had no idea just how much they'd seen. “Ash–”
Asher tilted his head, waiting.
“I wasn't going to do anything with him,” Ryley blurted out. “I swear.”
“Wh– Oh.” Asher gave a slow nod. “With that guy?”
“Master Ross. He's my mentor. He's teaching me– I swear, I wasn't going to– I haven't–”
“Ryley,” Asher interrupted him. “It's alright.” He reached up with both hands and cupped Ryley's cheeks. “I believe you.”
“But–”
“I saw you push him away, didn't I?”
Ryley fidgeted. “Yeah.”
Asher was silent for a moment, looking away, then said, “You were tempted.”
Ryley looked down and nodded. When he finally looked back up, he found Asher smiling. “What?”
“Been that long?”
Ryley blinked. “What?”
Asher chuckled. “You were resisting, and then you literally burst into flames.” He laughed again. “Just makes me wonder how long you've been that wound up.”
Ryley studied his eyes, then breathed a sigh of relief which quickly turned into laughter. “Yeah. Way too damned long. Three months too long.”
Asher blushed as he smirked at him, and Ryley almost let out another relieved sigh. Asher trusted him. Thank gods.
Of course, that didn't change anything.
“Ash–” Ryley shook his head. “I can't go back. I meant that.”
“I know. I'll wait.”
Ryley grimaced. “I have no idea how long this is gonna take.”
Asher shrugged. “You're doing what you need to do. I'm not going to stop you.”
“Are you sure?” Ryley asked, fidgeting. “It could be months. Years,” he added, considering how little progress he'd made thus far. “I can't expect you to wait that long. Unless–”
Asher raised his eyebrows in question.
Ryley sighed. “Unless I have t
he powers removed.”
Asher shifted back half a step. “Can they do that?”
“Yeah. And they probably should. I'm dangerous. Out of control. And it's taking way too long to learn how to keep this thing secure. If I had it removed instead, I could come home now. I could be safe.”
And feel hollow, apparently.
Asher studied his eyes. “There's something you're not telling me.”
Ryley shook his head, thinking. “Maybe that's the only way to make this right,” he wondered aloud. “To fix me. Just rip the damned thing out and leave me normal.”
“You are normal,” Asher insisted, then sighed and gave Ryley's hands a squeeze. “Ryley, I love you. Whatever you decide, I'll support you, but…there's nothing wrong with you. I love you just the way you are.”
Ryley blinked up at him. “Even this? You wouldn't change this? After what I did to you?”
“No.” Asher shook his head, leaning close again. “Because it's part of you.”
Ryley stared at him, stunned. “You know, you are the only person in my life who has never tried to change me? Not even a little bit. And you're probably the only one who deserves to do so.”
“Ryley.” Asher sighed. “Yes, the pain was bad. Yes, being in the hospital again sucked. But it was an accident. I know that. And you're doing something about it. Do I wish you'd told me where you were going before just vanishing like that? Yeah, of course, but I understand why you did it, and if this is what you need, you have my support–” Before Asher could finish, Vic and Master Ross returned, serious looks on both their faces.
“Hey, Vic,” Ryley said.
“Hey, Ry.” Vic turned his eyes on Asher. “Asher, can I have a word?”
“Yeah, sure.” Asher took a step back.
“Ryley,” Master Ross called, still standing at Vic's side, “I would like you to go home and rest.”