I brought my free hand up, holding the back of her neck and pulling her toward me. She gasped silently and then I kissed her.
I really kissed her.
I kissed her the way I’d always wanted to.
And I kissed her the way she deserved to be kissed.
Her lips parted, and I took the chance to explore her. There was nothing soft and gentle about the kiss.
It was a kiss that wasn’t meant to be forgotten. Our tongues danced together, swirling, teasing, and making us crave more.
The kiss—it told her was she mine.
I deepened the kiss, and she returned it with the same fervor.
This moment, it was intense, passionate, wild, dangerous. And it felt so fucking right. More right than ever.
I fisted her hair, keeping her face angled just right. With one of our hands laced together, her other hand came up to my face. She touched me—oh so gently. Her fingers feathered over my rough stubble, holding me into our kiss.
We anchored each other.
Valerie deepened the kiss, and I captured her bottom lip, biting softly before plunging my tongue into her mouth again.
We were both gasping for breath when we finally pulled away. Valerie sagged into my arms, burying her face into my chest. Our clasped hands stayed locked together, between us, right over my wildly treacherous beating heart.
I didn’t believe in fate and destiny. That shit didn’t work for us, made men. We controlled our own lives. I controlled my own fucking life. It was in my hands, and I decided what happened to it.
But right this moment, against my own beliefs, I just knew this was it.
The moment we laid eyes on each other—this was meant to happen.
Our fates were sealed. Together.
My fingers feathered over her skin, right over her fucking collar. Gripping the back of her neck gently, I made her look up at me.
I dropped my forehead to hers, and we breathed together, lost in this forbidden moment. When I knew her eyes were on my lips, I finally spoke.
“There is no turning back, silent myshka.”
Chapter 26
Viktor
“The shipment will arrive in a matter of days, Mr. Solonik. I can assure you that. It won’t be late this time.” The man standing in front of me rambled nervously. His nervousness made me choke back a laugh. Shaking my head, I sat back against my chair before crossing my left ankle over my right knee.
Abram was a few years older than me. His tall figure, dark skin, deadly smile, and scars across his face and neck made everyone cower. He was the Undertaker. Yet he was scared of me.
“Valentin gave you a chance last time. This time, I am the one overlooking all the incoming shipments. You won’t get another lucky chance,” I replied offhandedly.
He was Valentin’s trusted man. The one who took care of all the incoming and outgoing cargos.
Abram nodded before looking over his shoulders. “Sluzhitel’, bring me one the white packets. It’s labeled ZA.”
A young boy, a Sluzhitel’, a servant boy, probably around the age of fifteen, came around the corner, a white packet in his hands. His head was cast down, his skinny frame looking too fragile to be living in this fucked-up world.
He handed me the packet and backed away, his head still cast down and still facing me until he was out of sight.
Abram gave me a small smile and nodded toward the item I was holding. “Our most prized drug. Specifically made for our associates. The black-market shakes under its price and dealings.”
Already knowing this information, I only brought the white packet closer to my nose. “And who are your associates?” I questioned lightly, digging deeper.
“Many. We have many. The Mexican cartel—Carlos is one of our most important clients. We trade our drugs. This one for the one he produces. Fair trade.”
I ripped open the packet carefully, dipping my finger into the white power. It was silky against my fingertips, and I brought my coated fingers to my nose.
Holy fuck.
“What is this? This is the strongest shit I have ever snorted,” I growled, taking another long sniff of whatever this shit was.
Abram gave me disgusting smile, a pleased look on his face. “We make the best. Little amount, but the effect lasts longer and better. More money this way. Our clients fucking love it.”
How did Alessio not know about this?
No wonder Solonik was cashing so hard. The sneaky little shit.
“You said Carlos trades with us. What type of drug does he trade?” I asked. I kept hearing his fucking name. Valentin practically worshipped his dick and now Abram…
Abram raised a questioning eyebrow, looking surprised at my question. “You don’t know?”
I stayed silent, neither confirming nor denying. When the silence stretched and the tension increased, Abram finally swallowed and gave me a tight smile. “Aphrodisiac drugs. A drug specially for sex. It is still being tested on—it’s a new drug, and Carlos is still working on it.”
“The sensation is usually too much to bear. The effect will slowly disappear only after multiple orgasms,” he explained when I stayed silent.
I nodded. This fact was known around the black market. Especially the underworld—our own fucking people.
Aphrodisiac drugs. They were used everywhere and on anyone.
But I had a feeling the drugs Carlos was making weren’t the same. There was something else—something only Valentin and Carlos knew about and were silently trafficking.
Feeling frustrated at myself, I pushed the white packet away and placed it on the table beside me. I wiped my fingers with a handkerchief and stood up.
More than a whole fucking year—and I was still lost. Alessio trusted me on this job. I was sent here to gain information yet I hadn’t even taken a step in the right direction.
“I’ll leave the rest to you, Abram. Don’t disappoint me,” I muttered.
He straightened and nodded. “I won’t.”
Without wasting another second, I speared him with a final hard glare and walked away. Yegor followed closely behind me. He was always in the background, present and vigil.
“Where to?” he asked when we got to the car.
Closing my eyes, I leaned against the seats. “The estate.”
The drugs were strong, just like Abram said. I barely snorted that shit, and the effect was still lasting in my body. I could feel the way my muscles were losing all their tension. My body prickled with awareness, and then I felt light, almost like I was floating.
It was silent and soothing.
Until chaos erupted.
“There’s someone tailgating us. Two cars. Black-tinted windows. I can’t see the people driving.”
My eyes snapped open at Yegor’s voice. “For how long?”
“Since we left Abram’s warehouse.”
I looked behind me, and just like Yegor said, we were being followed. Fuck this shit. Why did my life have to be so fucking dramatic all the time?
“Go north, away from the estate. Lead them to the abandoned highway,” I quickly ordered.
My gun was already in my hand, and I waited—the race driving a crazy adrenaline rush through me. Minutes later, the fun began.
The sounds rung through my ears, loud and clear.
Pop! Pop! Pop!
Tires screeched, and the gunshots were loud through the night. Cars were stopped, but the bullets didn’t.
When I heard the doors slam behind me, I knew the men were out and coming for us. Yegor nodded at me through the rearview mirror, and then he was out of the car.
I followed, our guns blasting bullets at whoever those fuckers were. A tall figure crumpled into the dirt as my bullet pierced through his chest.
Yegor shot someone else down. I crouched behind the car and waited. There were shouts, and then another man was down. Another grunt of agony as I shot the fucker closer to me.
I heard someone bellow out in pain—a voice I recognized very well.
“Yegor
!” I roared, coming out from behind the car. My bullet was tearing through the head of the bastard who shot my man.
Fuck! How many men were there?
My blood coursed furiously through my body. I was aiming at the next man when someone grabbed my ankle and yanked me down.
I aimed my gun behind me, but the punch that landed on the side of my head blinded me for a second.
Another shot rang through the air. I saw Yegor struggling to sit up and knew he just saved my life.
With a snarl, I twisted around and grabbed the man by his neck. I pulled his body under mine before landing a punch in his face. Yegor’s bullet had pierced his stomach, but he was still alive.
“Seriously?” I snapped, looking down at my now blood-covered clothes. “Are you kidding me?”
The man shuddered when I turned my glare on him. “And here I was thinking of not taking a shower tonight.”
Landing another punch on his already broken nose, more blood squirted. “But I have no choice with your dirty fucking blood on me now.”
Another punch in his pathetic ugly face. “Do you know how fucking hard it is to get in the shower after a long ass day, when you could be doing something better instead? Maybe in bed sleeping.”
This time I landed a punch on his ribs. “Or better yet, eating an appetizer, breakfast, lunch and dinner. Also known as pussy.”
“Seriously?” Yegor wheezed from behind me. “At this time?”
“Italian pussy. Blonde pussy. Red pussy. Black pussy. Russian pussy. Hell, give me any pussy and I will be a happy man,” I growled.
“Are you going through pussy withdrawal?” My man laughed.
“Also known as pussy starvation,” I mumbled back before breaking my captor’s face again.
I had never gone this long without sex. For the past few weeks, my dick has only known my hand. Poor guy was about to call it quits on me and probably shrink a few inches as my punishment.
At the thought of pussy, Valerie’s face flashed before my eyes.
I shook my head to clear my throat. Now was not the time to think of my beautiful nun.
I turned my attention to the bloodied man—the only one left in this attack. “Who sent you?”
He gurgled something and then spat blood out with two broken teeth. Tsk tsk. Poor baby.
“…Carlos…”
I barely heard the name through his vicious coughing, but then he said it again. And this time, my body went cold.
Well, shit.
“Why?” I snarled into his face.
He smiled—and then brought his hand up. The moment was quick and I couldn’t stop him. He placed the pill between his lips and bit down.
I reacted before he could take his last breath. Taking my gun, I shot him. Right between his eyes.
“I own your fucking death.”
I stood over the dead body and gave Yegor a look. “Valentin doesn’t need to know about this.”
He nodded silently and limped away to inspect the mess.
Carlos knew. He fucking knew the truth.
I rolled my neck from left to right and took a deep breath. This was the moment where I wished I had taken those drugs from Abram. I needed the strongest shit to get over this.
Taking my phone out of my pocket, I went to make a call—someone to clean this up. Instead my attention was diverted to something else—or someone else.
A paper fell out from my pocket. I picked it up and stared at the beautiful penmanship.
I couldn’t help it. A small smile curved up my lips as I read the words.
You don’t scare me.
Valerie’s words.
She wrote it down when we were speaking. After she fell asleep, I stole the paper.
Valerie was everywhere—consuming me. Every fucking waking hour. In my thoughts. In my dreams. She was deep under my skin.
It has been three weeks since our kiss in her bedroom. Three weeks since we both fell into this trap and didn’t do anything to escape from it.
We kept falling deeper—until there was no fucking escape.
Taking a deep breath, I straightened up and placed the paper back into my pocket. Safe—like always.
I walked away from the dead bodies and smiled at the realization. I didn’t need any of those fucked up drugs.
Valerie was my drug.
“Time to see my girl.”
Chapter 27
Valerie
I walked out of the bathroom, braiding my hair at the same time. My feet stalled when I found Viktor in my room.
His back was to me while he faced the wide windows. His hands were clasped behind his back, his figure looking very intimidating.
His presence took over my room, a deadly, strong presence that made me shiver in both apprehension and anticipation. Viktor could be frightening. But he didn’t scare me like Valentin did.
Only because Viktor had proved he didn’t want to hurt me.
After our first kiss three weeks ago, Viktor and I have grown closer—closer than I could ever imagine. What I used to think and could only dream of…it slowly became my reality. He visited me almost every night.
When Valentin would come for me, those nights were filled with horror.
But the moment Viktor walked through the doors, my pain would vanish and he would cocoon me in his warmth.
His embrace kept me strong. His gentle kisses made me feel treasured. His soft looks made me feel beautiful—at the end of each night, he made my soul sing.
I thought in my dreams we were beautiful.
But I realized, in reality, together we were even more beautiful.
Viktor turned around to face me, his back now to the dark night. The lights were off too, only the nightlamp casting a glow around the room. His face was visible in the small soft light.
He appeared darker and meaner. More vicious. Dangerous. His face was expressionless, barely a smile there.
His eyes bored into mine, fixing me onto the stop. I couldn’t move. Viktor walked toward me, stealthily. Almost like he was tracking his prey in the dark.
I licked my lips before biting down nervously. He stopped in front of me; we were less than an inch apart. Our bodies were so close together.
Closing my eyes, I leaned into him. His warmth enveloped me, shielding me from any coldness from this messy world.
Viktor’s arm wrapped around my waist, and he pulled me into his body. I felt his fingers on my neck, drifting up, and then he was pulling my lips from between my teeth.
He thumbed my lips roughly, and then his lips descended on mine. Viktor kissed me so softly and oh so sweetly.
It was hard to believe. A man like him, unbreakable—to kiss as if he was scared to break me.
As he pulled away slightly, I opened my eyes and we stared into each other.
Viktor and I—together we glowed. Just like the moonlight shone in the dark sky, our light illuminated this dark world.
Even though our ending was not a guaranteed happy ending, we still chased it.
Viktor gave me a half smile, the corner of his lips turning up in a small smirk. His other hand wrapped around my waist, and he lifted me up high.
I laughed silently, holding on to his shoulders as he carried us to the bed. He laid me in the middle and climbed beside me. When he placed the notepad and pen between us, my smile widened.
This was our moment. We would talk about nothing and everything. We shared the little things in our lives. Small happy moments. He would find ways to make me smile—and that was all that mattered.
“How are you today?” he asked.
I am better, now that you are here.
Valentin didn’t visit me today. I was thankful for that, only because I didn’t want him to taint whatever Viktor and I had.
When he would visit me, I wasn’t my own afterward. I knew Viktor hated it—he loathed it. If he could, he would have killed Valentin.
I knew that—but I also knew he was helpless.
I didn’t know Viktor’s reaso
ns, he wouldn’t tell me, but whatever they were—I understood.
I understood because I was just as helpless.
Viktor dragged a finger through my hair, and I moved closer, laying my head on his chest. He held me while I bathed in his smell.
Except something was different.
Pulling away, I found my notepad and pen again.
You smell like blood.
Viktor froze, and his arm tightened around my hips, his fingers digging into my flesh. I winced, and he quickly let go. He breathed out, and his lips twisted ruefully.
“Yes. You are right. I smell like blood,” he replied.
I swallowed nervously, blinking up at him through the darkness.
Did you hurt someone?
He read my words and then stared at me unblinkingly before opening his mouth to speak again. “I didn’t just hurt someone. I killed someone. Not one. Four men.”
The news stole my breath away. I knew the type of man Viktor was. He wasn’t exactly a Prince Charming, although I liked to think of him as one.
He was a killer—as dangerous as a crime lord.
But I didn’t expect him to say those words as if he didn’t care, almost heartlessly.
“Valerie, I do things you will hate. I kill men for a living. You knew that before, then why that expression on your face? Why did you just lose this beautiful smile I love so much?”
His thumb caressed my cheek softly, his eyes never leaving mine. Viktor touched the corner of my lips. “Smile for me, silent myshka.”
I imagined his voice soft and smooth as he said those words. Like I always knew, he was the puppet master. And he manipulated my fragile heart with his words.
“Your smiles are beautiful too.”
“Then I will smile. For you.”
“I will make you smile. Promise.”
“Promise?”
“Pinky promise, silent myshka.”
I remembered those words—his voice ringing through my ears. The dream I had after Valentin had drugged me.
Taking the pen in my hand again, I quickly scribbled down.
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