I left the sentence hanging, but Valerie understood and nodded. Her eyes clouded over, her eyebrows pinching together as if she were in pain. She sat up and pulled the sheets up to her neck, covering her nakedness.
Grabbing my clothes from the floor, I made my way to the bathroom, but not without casting her one last glance to see her gaze moving to her lap, looking almost sorrowful.
After freshening up and fully clothed, I walked out to see Valerie in the same position. I saw her fidgeting with the bedsheet as I walked closer. With a knee on the bed, I leaned down and placed a kiss on her forehead.
She leaned more into me, her hands now gripping my shirt. But I couldn’t bear that lost look in her eyes.
So I kissed her.
I kissed her deep and hard until she gasped for breath. When we pulled apart, her eyes were hazy, her lips swollen and pink—and there it was, that smile I was looking for. A tiny shy smile graced her eyes, accenting her glorious beauty even more.
“I have to go, Valerie. But I promise, I’ll come for you tonight.”
“Okay,” she murmured with a slight slur. I found it endearing, the way she spoke. Fuck, I found myself fascinated with every piece of her.
Shaking my head, I continued. “But before I go, I need to tell you something about me.”
Valerie cocked her head to the side, waiting. Curiosity was about to kill the cat.
“I saw the way you looked at Alessio,” I started. She opened her mouth as if to speak, but then quickly snapped it shut with a slight shiver of fear.
Ah, little innocent myshka.
“He isn’t the bad guy, baby.” I paused, and then shook my head with a laugh. “Well, he is. But not really.”
Valerie looked confused, but she waited patiently for me to continue. “My name isn’t Konstantin Solonik, like everyone seems to call me. You know that I am Valentin’s nephew. But baby, I belong to the Ivanshov family. My real name is Viktor Konstantin Ivanshov.”
Her eyebrows furrowed together, and she cleared her throat before speaking. “You mean…you aren’t…the heir…”
“No. I am Valentin’s heir. But I am also one of Alessio’s men. His second in command. Valentin hates the Ivanhovs, but I don’t. They are my family, Valerie. Alessio is my fucking brother.”
The crinkling between her forehead deepened, and she looked at me like I had grown two heads and was doing the Macarena.
“But…how…I don’t…understand,” she spoke quietly.
Nudging the tip of her nose with mine, I gave her a small smile. “It’s okay. You will understand more later…when shit will go down. All you need to know is that Alessio is on our side, myshka. All I need to do is…make sure Valentin is ten feet under the ground. Soon.”
Her mouth hung open in shock, and she stared at me with wide eyes. Leaning forward, I captured her lips with a raw kiss. She gasped into my lips before kissing me back, hesitant but then confident with each passing second.
I released her lips, and Valerie blinked several times. Pulling away, I winked at her.
That was how I left Valerie…with her mind reeling. Get a taste of what you do to me, my beautiful myshka.
Closing her door softly behind me, I made my way to my quarters. The smile on my fucking face couldn’t be wiped off.
Until…I saw Valentin waiting for me in front of my door.
My back straightened, and I lost my smile at the expression on his face.
He looked happy. Too happy. His stupid old face was glowing, and the dark smile on his face made my stomach roll.
Fuck. My heart clenched, because I knew…I just fucking knew.
I could practically feel my heart dropping into the vast pit of my stomach.
“Alessio just left,” he started, chuckling with a shake of his head. “He got a call.”
I took a deep breath and waited…I waited for the words I already knew was going to be said.
“Ayla had a little accident.”
My heart squeezed, my chest feeling heavy. My breath left me with a loud whoosh. Struggling with my next breath, I gave out a small cough and cleared my throat.
The walls I had built around my heart formed again, creating a cage. The fake façade I had created—Konstantin Solonik—was back in place. A perfect illusion to convince my foes. A tainted mirror. They saw what I wanted them to see.
First rule for a made man to remember.
Everything was a lie. Everyone was a lie. Every fucking day was a game to play.
Believe nothing. Whatever you see or hear is a lie.
Apparently Solonik didn’t follow the same rules, for he fell into my trap so fucking easily. Easy for him. A fucking nightmare for me.
My back straightened, and I could feel my lips stretching in a smirk. His smile grew at the expression on my face.
“I got news from Abram. He was there to witness it. Saw Ayla fall,” he continued, pushing off the wall. With his hands behind his back, he paced the hall.
I leaned against the door and crossed my ankles, my arms crossed over my chest.
Breathe. Don’t fucking break. Ayla has to be okay. Ayla is okay. She has to be.
I tried to repeat the words in my head, hoping to believe them. But fuck it, I didn’t even know if she was okay.
It was a wild game—the chase never ending. The darkness never ceasing. I was the Master. And Ayla was my unwilling victim.
“The baby didn’t make it.”
His words chilled me to the bone.
The words I was waiting for.
I just didn’t realize they would hurt this much.
But then again…I was Viktor. Viktor Ivanshov never lets anyone get in his way. Viktor Ivanshov never fails on a mission. Viktor Ivanshov never loses a game.
Taking a deep breath, I fished out my lighter from my pants and the cigarette box. Valentin watched me with closed eyes, judging my lack of reaction. The only thing he got from me was a smirk…a playful one, filled with victory.
Placing a cigarette between my teeth, I lit the end and inhaled. The puff of smoke drifted when I exhaled. The lighter was lit, my thumb moving over the small flame. Just never touching. Another illusion to play with the mind.
Playing with fire.
Inhaling another breath of my cigarette, I released a chuckle. It sounded dark to my own ears.
“Just because she didn’t come to the party, it doesn’t mean my plans can’t be put in motion, Valentin,” I drawled, clicking the lighter on and off. The tick tick it made sounded harsh in the empty, silent halls.
“So it was your plan?” Valentin asked, his eyes widening a fraction of an inch. “But how? I don’t—”
“I have my ways,” I cut him off with a raised eyebrow. “I told you, Valentin. I do things my own way. I don’t play to lose.”
“I can see that now,” he replied, nodding with satisfaction.
Pushing away from the wall, I walked past him. “If I had a chance, the bitch would be dead too—but then again, why kill them off so easily? Alessio needs to feel the pain. One down. The baby had to go. Sooner rather than later. I’d like to say we’re winning.”
Valentin let out a booming laugh. When he spoke, his words caused my teeth to grit with fury.
“I like the way you think. I didn’t think you could do it—but clearly, I keep underestimating you. Good job, son. For the first time, you have made me proud. Your father is a fool. He didn’t see your potential. They made you second in command under a fucking Boss. But you—you deserve to be the fucking Pakhan. And one day, you will be.”
I didn’t reply. My eyes met his in a hard, unflinching gaze. He stilled, and I looked away, effectively shutting him up.
Without sparing him another glance, I walked into my room and closed the door behind me. His footsteps eventually faded away and then silence.
The silence sickened me, and I fought the urge to throw up.
My insides tightened, and once again my emotions derailed. I breathed through my nose, trying to calm m
y nerves and the never-ending cramps in my stomach. Sweat dripped down the back of my neck. My hands started shaking, and I clenched them into tight fists. The lump in my throat grew until it was hard to swallow, my tongue feeling heavy—speechless. Motionless.
I felt…crippled.
What have I just done?
***
A week later
Half of Valerie’s body laid on top of mine, covering me with her warmth. She cuddled closer, burying her face in my chest. Her fingers drew random patterns, her touch feathering over the art on my skin.
She loved them and couldn’t seem to stop touching the intricate designs, always exploring with her touch. Skin to skin. Sometimes, she would lay kisses along the path of my tattoos.
Over the week, I had successfully been able to keep Valentin away from Valerie. Using various tactics, I was the one who ended up in her bedroom every night. Not the fuck face who was supposedly her husband.
“…Viktor.”
Snapping out of my thoughts, I looked down at Valerie to see her eyes already on me.
Something indescribable would always ignite me when she’d breathed my name.
Her voice was so sweet…still unused with years of silence. Sometimes her voice was too soft to hear, or too loud. Her tone was low at the beginning of a sentence and then rose until I would tell her it was too loud. Valerie’s voice was a little scratchy but beautiful nonetheless.
I think maybe I found it more beautiful because it was…different. It was her. It was perfect.
“You are always…lost in your…thoughts.”
Valerie sat up, leaning over my face. Her bare tits were right over my mouth, and I was tempted to take a bite…maybe even a lick. My dick hardened at the lush sight, and I swore under my breath.
She palmed my face—while I was wishing she would palm my hard cock—and her forehead came down to touch mine.
“Why won’t you talk to…me? I know…something is troubling…you,” she whispered.
Ah. There it was. The unspoken words between us. The one thing I didn’t want to talk about.
“You have changed. You are more silent…and…brooding,” Valerie continued, her lips touching my cheek in a small kiss now.
“It’s nothing,” I mumbled. Her eyes fixated on my lips, and I saw the disbelief there. Her lips pursed in a small, frustrated pout.
“You are a bad liar, Viktor.”
“Valerie…” I started, but she shushed me. My little nun actually shushed me.
With a finger on my lips, she said, “Don’t lie to me. You ask me to trust you and I do, yet…you don’t trust me. You won’t…tell me what is…hurting you. And I know you are hurting. Something worries you.”
I stared into her warm brown eyes, filled with so much understanding. I wondered if she would still be so understanding if she knew my truth.
Quickly rolling us over so she was under me, I hovered over her naked body. “You are right. I am hurting. I am worrying. And I have done terrible things, Valerie.”
Valerie’s finger tangled in my hair, and she brought my face closer, our lips mere inches apart. “What have you done, Viktor?”
“I hurt someone who is very close to me. I hurt her, and she means everything…but I think I have hurt her, and I don’t know if she’s okay or not,” I finally confessed, my voice rough with unsaid emotions and my words catching in my throat.
Valerie stayed silent, her gaze never leaving mine. So I continued. “The mere thought of something happening to Ayla cripples me, Valerie. But knowing I am the reason behind it…Alessio would never forgive me.”
Her warm eyes turned confused. “Maybe you shouldn’t…be so hard on yourself. I don’t know what to say. She seems important to you. If you think you have hurt…her, then you…should apologize.”
“I don’t think apologies will ever be enough,” I admitted.
Valerie shook her head, her eyebrows bunching sadly, as if she were feeling my pain. She leaned up and stole a kiss. I kissed her back. What was meant to be a quick peck turned into a long kiss, one that left us breathless.
For a brief moment, I forgot my worries. I forgot about Ayla and Alessio. I forgot about the baby.
I savored Valerie’s kiss and continued sinking into the sea of love she was giving me, the depth never ending.
“Tomorrow is a new day. Everything…will…be fine, Viktor,” she muttered against my lips.
Settling beside Valerie, I pulled her into my embrace. “Let’s not think about tomorrow. I want to live in the now. And right now, I just want to hold you.”
Valerie smiled, and my heart stuttered—like it always did whenever she would look my way.
We stayed like this for what felt like hours. In our own bubble where nobody could hurt us.
She eventually got up to take her shower. I watched her go, my eyes on the slick warmth that dripped between her legs. Shaking my head, I held back my laugh. She would just get dirty again.
While listening to the shower run, I went through her drawer. Valerie had spoken enough for the day. I had noticed her slurring her speeches more in the end. The wince every now and then couldn’t be mistaken either.
But instead of finding her pen and paper…I found a box.
Confused, I took it out of the drawer. Valerie’s room only had the bare necessities. Her closet with filled with some clothes, but that was it.
There was nothing for herself in her room. No personal touches that made the room truly hers.
It was just a cage. Hiding her. Trapping her like a prisoner.
Sitting against the headboard, I opened the box.
What the—
Inside, I found something I never expected.
Holding the shoes in my hands, I inspected them. They were flat, very light, and made with what seemed like expensive beige satin. There were white pearls scattered on the surface, with long ribbons that would probably tie at the ankles. A very feminine touch. It was actually pretty.
The soles were almost worn out. But these weren’t just normal shoes.
They were fucking ballet shoes.
Chapter 34
Valerie
My hands drifted between my legs, washing off the remains of Viktor. His seeds coated my inner thighs, where our mixed scent had dripped from my sex.
I ached between my legs, where he had taken me both ruthlessly and slowly. Clenching at the thought of him inside me, I could still feel him. His rough thrust. His lips against my skin. His groan vibrating off his chest.
Walking out of the shower, I toweled myself off with a smile. What was the use? Viktor would just get me dirty again. Maybe I cleaned just for him to get me dirty. It was apparently his mission.
My gaze caught my naked body in the mirror. I smiled at the sight of my bare neck. When I was with Viktor, I didn’t wear my collar. With him, I was free. It was just us, hiding from the rest of the world.
My room, what used to be my cage, my hell on earth, was now my—our—sanctuary. This was where we met, first touched, where our lips first kissed, and where he first made love to my soul.
After putting on my dress, I opened the drawer and took out the small white bottle. The one hidden at the back, behind my accessories. Emptying the bottle in my hand, I counted the small capsules.
Only twenty-three left. I would need more. But since Igor wasn’t here to bring me any, I was going to have to ask Viktor. He knew about the pills, but I had told him there was more left. I didn’t realize so many days had passed already.
I placed all the pills back into the bottle and hid it in the drawer again, away from all eyes. This was my secret. A secret I had kept for many years. Igor wasn’t perfect. He was my captor along with Valentin, but he was good enough to give me something nobody else would.
Walking out of the bathroom, I saw the bed was empty. My eyes tracked for Viktor and found him next to the window. He was staring outside, while leaning against the wall with only his boxers on.
He must have heard my appro
ach because he turned around. Viktor’s eyes met mine, and I felt myself smiling under his intense penetrating gaze. My body tingled and my stomach flipped at the way he watched me.
My eyes traveled down, tracing every part of his wide, muscled chest. The intricate design covering his exposed skin fascinated me. They were beautiful, and it took me hours tracing every line. I wanted to memorize every part of Viktor.
But my gaze froze at his hands, finally seeing what he was holding.
My world stilled.
It felt like everything had darkened and disappeared around me. The light only shone on Viktor. All I could see was him and what was in his hands.
I stopped in the middle of the room, my feet refusing to take another step forward. My vision blurred, and my blood roared through me. I could feel my throbbing veins in my neck, and I desperately tried to breathe.
How?
Viktor being Viktor, he read my unspoken question. I stayed in the same spot, my body shaking slightly with shock as he walked toward me. He met me in the middle of the room in three long steps until our bodies were so close together.
His breath feathered over my cheek as he leaned down. His lips kissed mine softly. He held the back of my neck firmly in his hold, keeping me anchored to him as he devoured my lips.
Viktor purposely made me forget.
With his kiss, all the worry and pain seeped out of my body, leaving me breathless and limp in his arms.
When we pulled away, he laid his forehead against mine. He appeared just as breathless. I watched his lips as he spoke, not wanting to miss anything. “They were in the nightstand. I found them in your drawer.”
My eyes squeezed shut at his words. Viktor had brought out something from my past—something I wanted to forget. A part of me that was stolen and ripped into shreds right in front of my eyes.
“Valerie! Valerie!”
My head snapped up at my name being called. Turning around, I saw the director coming my way. I waved, letting him know I heard him.
He came to stand in front of me, breathless, but his eyes were shining with admiration and happiness. “I thought you were gonna leave and I wouldn’t be able to give you the news.”
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