Tin Queen

by Devney Perry

  “What are you doing this weekend?” I asked, needing a distraction and a familiar conversation.

  “Oh, nothing much. I’m delivering a batch of cupcakes to a birthday party tomorrow morning. The little girl wanted a Frozen theme, so I did blue and white frosting with these pretty sugar snowflakes. Then I think we’re going to take Christian on a hike while the weather is still nice.”

  Fall was approaching fast, the summer coming to a close. Though short, autumn in Montana was my favorite season. The temperatures would cool soon. The trees would become a kaleidoscope of color at the base of the indigo mountains. And the fields would turn from green to gold. We were entering those vibrant, fleeting weeks before winter. The gift of beauty before snow blanketed the ground.

  The end was near.

  By winter, would the Tin Gypsies be in their own prison cells? They might be, but only if I managed to get these feelings for Emmett under control.

  Not tonight. I was not going to his house tonight.

  With one last look at him, I turned away from the garage and started down the alley toward the Nova. “That sounds like a nice weekend. How’s Mom?”

  “She’s good. She’s helping a friend run a booth at the farmer’s market tomorrow. I baked a few small cakes for her to take and sell.”

  “How’s Christian?”

  “Napping at the moment. He’s getting so big so fast. Jack and I . . . we’ve been talking about another baby.”

  “Yes. I completely support this idea.”

  Shelby laughed. “It’s crazy. Babies are so much work but . . .”

  “But you make such beautiful babies.”

  “I want Christian to have a sibling or two. I can’t imagine growing up without you or TJ.” There was a note of sadness in her voice when she spoke TJ’s name. Shelby rarely spoke of our brother and normally it came with some anger. Anger at Dad for dragging TJ into the club life. Anger at TJ himself for following. Mostly I think Shelby was angry because of how she and TJ had ended on a sour note. He was gone and she’d never have a chance to make it right.

  “I don’t know.” She sighed. “We’ll see how it goes.”

  “I vote yes on another baby. I need a fix.” Maybe I’d have children of my own one day. I hoped so. But if all I had was the chance to be the fun aunt, then I would be the best aunt in the world.

  “You could have babies of your own, you know. That means you’d have to go on more than a first date with a guy. But it is possible.”

  “Ha ha,” I deadpanned.

  If only she knew how many times I’d been with Emmett. Shelby loved to tease me about my ability to fault a man over a single dinner. In the past ten years, I’d been on countless first dates. A second date was rare. I’d gone on more dates with Ira than any man in ages and Ira was fake.

  Just like Emmett was fake.

  Because I was fake.

  My entire life there had always been fake.

  “Uh-oh,” Shelby said. “I hear Christian on the monitor. I’d better let you go.”

  “Love you,” I said.

  “Love you too. And, Nova?”

  My heart twisted. She used my real name less and less these days. “Yeah?”

  “I miss you.”

  “I miss you too.” I smiled, then continued my trek to the car, getting inside and scrolling through my emails before starting the engine. There was a pile of work waiting for me but the last thing I wanted to do was go to my rental and stare at a laptop all day.

  I’d only end up thinking about Emmett. And then I’d crumble and drive to his house.

  What I needed wasn’t work but to get the hell out of Clifton Forge for a while. So I started the car and hit the highway, heading toward Missoula. I didn’t go to my home or to Shelby’s or to Mom’s.

  I drove straight to the cemetery.

  I drove to visit my brother.

  My heels sank into the grass as I crossed the lawn to the plot where we’d laid TJ to rest. Mom must have been here because there was a fresh bundle of flowers on his grave.

  “Hi.” I dropped to my knees, the warmth from the earth sinking through my jeans. “How are you today?”

  I always talked to TJ like he could answer. Maybe because I hoped that he would. Maybe if he heard my voice from wherever he was watching us, he’d hear me and know that I loved him. We all loved him.

  “It’s a pretty day.” I tipped my head to the sunshine and let it warm my face. “I went for a ride on a motorcycle last weekend. And I’m sleeping with the enemy.”

  TJ always got my truths. The raw. The ugly. The real.

  I shifted, sitting on my butt and leaning back on my arms. “This is harder than I thought it would be.”

  Because Emmett was . . . everything.

  “He’s sweet, actually. Smart too. And he’s a fucking god in bed.”

  A gust of wind came out of nowhere, blowing a lock of hair in my face.

  “Sorry.” I laughed. “I’ll keep those details to myself.”

  I settled onto my back, lying on the ground and looking up at the blue sky streaked with a few clusters of white, wispy clouds. “He’ll hate me when this is over.”

  Just the thought made my chest ache.

  But what choice did I have? For our family, I had to see this through. If it wasn’t me, it would be someone else. And that someone wouldn’t be satisfied with prison terms.

  Dad would send someone for blood.

  Their wives, their children, might get caught in the crossfire.

  “I want them to pay for what they did to you and Dad.” The conviction in my words was lacking.

  I’d come here, to TJ’s resting place, hoping for a renewed sense of fire. Instead, I felt this deep, unsettling loneliness.

  “I miss you, TJ.” Tears flooded my eyes, blurring the sky, but I blinked them away. “Why does it have to be so complicated?”

  Our entire lives had been so complicated.

  I splayed a hand over his grave, feeling the spiky grass blades poke between my fingers. A bird flew overhead, its wings spread wide as it swept from one tree to another and then out of sight.

  “Tell me I’m doing the right thing,” I whispered.

  There was nothing. Not a breath of wind. Not the chirp of a bird or a rustle in the trees.

  There were only doubts. Crippling, crushing doubts. I hadn’t been prepared to combat them all, which was probably why I was losing miserably.

  The doubts were Emmett’s fault. He’d put them there with his gentle smile and rumbling laugh and intoxicating smell.

  I shoved off the grass and twisted to a seat, reading TJ’s tombstone.

  He’d died at eighteen. That was too young. He hadn’t even had a chance to live his life. He wouldn’t get to spend his Saturdays with a woman, lazing away a weekend on a couch and having sex. He wouldn’t get the chance to cook her breakfast or watch the rain fall.

  And it wasn’t fair.

  None of this was fair.

  “I’m going to keep going. I won’t stop.” Not yet.

  I lay down again, staring up at the sky. TJ and I used to do this on our trampoline when we were kids. We’d find animals in the clouds. We’d make up stories about them and give them names, watching as they’d shift from an elephant to a dolphin to a dragon. We’d stay outside for hours, just the two of us.

  I loved Shelby but she was my big sister. We’d fought as sisters do. We’d bickered and griped. But TJ and I had been friends. He’d been my constant companion.

  If I’d tried harder to convince him to go to college, could I have kept him away from the Warriors?

  No. It would be a fool’s hope to think TJ would have lived any other life than by Dad’s side. The Warriors had always been appealing to both of us. The minute Dad had pulled TJ into the inner circle, we’d lost him.

  I’d been jealous then. So jealous. Because TJ and Dad had always had a connection while I’d been kept at arm’s length.

  Until now.

  Dad was counting
on me. TJ was counting on me.

  I could do this.

  I had to do this.

  I shoved up off the lawn and stood, brushing a few pieces of grass from my jeans. Without another word, I returned to the car and hit the road.

  The drive to Clifton Forge was spent securing my defenses, reminding myself that Emmett was the enemy. When I rolled past the welcome sign, I went straight to my rental.

  The fridge was mostly empty. The few items I’d purchased at the store earlier in the week were nearly gone. My prospects for dinner included Cheerios, without milk, or half of the ham and swiss sandwich I’d picked up at the local diner on Wednesday over lunch.

  “Don’t do it.” I walked to my purse on the counter and dug out my phone to call for pizza.

  My fingers found a different name in the call log.

  Ace.

  I tapped his name.

  “Nova,” he answered and the way he said my name in that deep, rugged voice was my undoing.

  I broke.

  It was just another night, right? I had to spend time with him to get information. One more night didn’t need to mean anything.

  “Hey, Ace. Are you home?”

  “No. But I can be.”

  I was doomed. “I’ll meet you there.”

  Butterflies tickled my insides as I hurried to the bathroom to freshen my makeup and brush my hair. My toothbrush was plucked from the holder where I’d returned it this morning and put back into the travel case that was becoming a regular resident of my handbag. Then I hurried outside to the car.

  I broke every speed limit through town as I crossed Clifton Forge for the country road that led to Emmett’s. And when I turned down his lane and into his driveway, he was standing outside the garage, his bike parked inside.

  He met me at my door, holding it as I swung out.

  I rose up on my toes for a kiss. The moment his lips brushed mine, his tongue dragging across my lower lip, the doubts I’d been pondering all day disappeared. When I was here, I shut it all out.

  I sank into him, savoring the warmth of his chest and the strength of his arms. I inhaled his spicy scent, holding it in like a gift to myself.

  He took his lips away too soon and looked me up and down, grinning when he got to my snakeskin Louboutin stilettos. “Nice shoes, baby.”

  “Thanks.” My heels were my indulgence and Louboutin my favorite designer.

  “Want to go for a ride?”

  I shifted and closed the car door. “Sure.”

  “I was hoping you’d say that.”

  He took my hand and led me to his Harley. Then we set off onto the road, me clutching him tight until we hit the highway and I opened my arms wide to fly.

  We rode for an hour before going back to his place, where I sat on the kitchen counter as he cooked me dinner. Then we retreated to the deck to watch the sunset and share a whiskey on the rocks.

  When he picked me up and carried me to his bed, a single word echoed in my mind before he kissed me.

  Tomorrow.

  Tomorrow I’d put some distance between us. For my own sake.

  But not tonight.

  Chapter Eight

  Emmett

  No texts. I swung off my bike and shoved my phone into my pocket. No texts from Nova, just like there hadn’t been before I’d left the house. Just like there hadn’t been last night. Just like there hadn’t been for the past four days.

  Maybe that was it. The end. Maybe it was for the best. But damn, I missed her. That expensive, seductive scent of hers was gone from my pillows.

  I crossed the parking lot for the office, shoving my sunglasses into my hair as I opened the door. “Morning.”

  “Good morning.” Presley raised her cup of coffee as a salute. Nico was in a swing behind her chair, kicking and smiling at the safari animal mobile spinning above him.

  “Hi, Emmett.” Cass smiled from her chair across from Presley’s desk. Seraphina was in her arms, chugging a bottle.

  “Hey.” Leo came striding out of the waiting room with two cups of coffee in his hands. He brought one to Cass, setting it on the desk as he bent down and kissed her hair.

  “Just you two today?” I asked.

  “Bryce is coming down with Dash and the boys,” Presley said. “Scarlett’s staying home with Mary. Genevieve is going to work.”

  I nodded and went to the waiting room for my own cup of coffee. While it brewed, I took in the room. The changes. So much at the garage was different. This waiting room used to be Draven’s office and there were days when I walked in and expected to see him behind his desk, cussing over a parts order.

  After his death, neither Presley nor Dash had wanted to take his space. For all of us, this would always be Draven’s office. Just like to me, the shop would always mean Dad. Sometimes I still looked for him beneath a car.

  He wouldn’t be there, but I still looked, expecting him to give me shit about how I always liked to do things my own way instead of his. Dad wasn’t there to talk through projects and how best to tackle them.

  He wasn’t there. But he was there.

  Just like Draven.

  They lived in these walls. They lived in these rooms. They lived in our hearts and our minds.

  “You okay?” Leo leaned against the doorframe.

  “Yeah.” I tore my eyes from the wall and grabbed my full coffee mug. “Full place today.”

  “Every day,” he said, fondness on his face.

  None of us minded that the office was packed with family members more often than not. It allowed Leo, Dash, Isaiah and me some peace of mind while we were working, that the women and kids were within shouting distance. Here, they were safe.

  If Dash could have it his way, they’d all be here each and every day. But there was a balance, giving them their freedom and independence while still keeping a close watch.

  If Genevieve was working at the law office today, I suspected Isaiah would check in often. If Scarlett was at home, she wouldn’t be alone. Luke would likely send a deputy to his house to sit outside all day until he made it home from the station.

  It had been a couple of months since the explosion at Leo’s place but that had scared the shit out of us all. Cass could have been killed, but she’d gotten lucky. We all had.

  Caution had become everyone’s middle name. Considering it used to be Trouble, it was yet another change.

  The garage had become the common hangout spot during the week. There was an apartment above the office. Genevieve and Isaiah had lived there right after they’d gotten married, but it had been vacant since they’d moved out. So we’d cleaned it top to bottom, giving the women and kids an added space to roam.

  “You guys heading upstairs?” Leo asked his wife as we walked out of the waiting room.

  “Yeah,” Cass said. “I’m hoping she’ll take a nap and I can write today.”

  “Good luck, babe. I’m here if you need anything.”

  Cass smiled up at Leo as he leaned down to kiss her and then run a thumb over his daughter’s cheek.

  “What do you need me to do this morning?” I asked Presley.

  “Sawyer and Tyler will probably need help with everything on the job board. It’s busy today.”

  “’Kay.” I nodded, then headed for the shop, Leo close behind me. Inside, Sawyer and Tyler were talking beside a workbench. A bench my dad had built years ago. Stone was written on the underside. “Morning.”

  “Hey,” they said in unison.

  Sawyer and Tyler had worked at the garage for a couple of years now. They were good guys and both hardworking. Decent mechanics for the routine jobs. But they weren’t Gypsies. They hadn’t asked questions—both of them knew we wouldn’t answer if they did—but the crowded office hadn’t gone unnoticed. They didn’t venture inside much these days unless it was to ask Presley a question or pick up their paychecks.

  “Sounds like we’ve got a busy day.” I went to the line of hooks on the wall beside the storage room and grabbed my coveralls.
>
  I didn’t wear them every day, but I’d put on a pair of jeans today that I didn’t want stained with grease. I set my coffee aside, then stepped into the coveralls and tied the top around my hips. The white T-shirt I wore wasn’t anything special and I didn’t care if it was wrecked.

  Leo and I bullshitted with Sawyer and Tyler for a few minutes as the fresh September morning air drifted through the open bay doors. Across the parking lot, my bike was alone today. Isaiah’s would likely join mine, but I remembered a time when the string of bikes stretched nearly the length of the lot.

  On the nights when we’d have a party at the clubhouse, there’d be a mass of Harleys surrounding the garage.

  Mine gleamed under the sun but it looked lonely.

  Dash’s truck eased into the lot and parked a ways down, leaving plenty of room for customers. A chorus of small voices sounded outside before Xander and Zeke came racing through the shop, headed straight for Leo and me.

  I caught Xander as he barreled for my knees. Leo caught Zeke. Both boys sailed into the air as we tossed them while Dash and Bryce walked into the garage, hand in hand.

  “Morning,” I said, plopping Xander over a shoulder. He kicked and giggled and I swatted his butt, earning a flurry of tiny fists against my spine. I chuckled and set him down, crouching in front of him and holding up my hands. “Ready?”

  He got in his fighting stance, his right leg forward. Then he let his fists fly, punching my open palms with a succession of jabs. He was only five but he’d inherited his father’s speed.

  Dash had been one hell of a fighter. Put him in a ring and he didn’t often lose. I’d won a lot of cash betting on him at the fights we’d hosted at the clubhouse and other places around the county.

  “Me too!” Zeke squirmed for Leo to set him down and then he took his brother’s place, punching my hands.

  “Ouch.” I shook my wrists out, pretending that they hurt. “When did you guys get so strong?”

  Both boys beamed.

  I stood and ruffled their hair, then winked at Bryce.

  “We had a meeting with Xander’s teacher last night,” she said. “We started talking and I guess you know her. She rents one of your properties.”