by Kipjo Ewers
Collapsing to his knees, Fred unleashed a wail that startled everyone in attendance as he gripped the unearthed soil. With the help of Barney, Veronica grabbed Fred holding onto him with all of her strength as he reached out to grab the coffin.
“Let me go! Let me go! Pull it back up! Please! Bring it back up! She’s not gone! She can't be gone! Bring it back up! Please!”
He wiped his worn misty eyes. The memory still had dagger sharpness to it.
˜ ˜ ˜ ˜ ˜ ˜ ˜ ˜ ˜ ˜ ˜ ˜ ˜ ˜ ˜ ˜ ˜ ˜ ˜ ˜ ˜ ˜ ˜ ˜ ˜ ˜ ˜ ˜ ˜ ˜ ˜ ˜
As he neared the grave, he slowed up his steps. He was not alone for this visit.
Sitting cross-legged in front of Mary’s headstone was Sara. From where Fred observed, she had cleaned off the stone and laid her bouquet of flowers. She just sat there silently with a slightly spaced out look on her face as she gazed at where her sister’s body now laid. Fred now understood why she asked him to come, and why she wanted him to leave her doll body.
He took his time strolling over so as not to startle her. Sara finally sensing his presence looked up at him with child-like eyes as he knelt down before the stone placing his flowers next to hers. He ran his hand against the smooth lime stone and then sat down next to her remembering sweeter times.
“I have a confession,” Sara lowered her head. “In her will, Mary had an account set up for me. It was a thousand dollars a month for two years of her contract.”
“I know,” Fred smirked.
“You knew?” Sara raised her head slightly with widened eyes.
“She told me in the reading of her will. I was instructed not to give you any money because she made sure you were taken care of.”
“Then why did you …?”
“It's money, and you seemed to need a little more of it than I did.” Fred shrugged.
“I miss her,” Sara’s voice began to crack. “I keep coming here …thinking that this damn stone won’t be here, that this is nothing but a dream. But it’s not …she’s really gone, and I sit here with regrets. Growing up, it was just mom, her, and me. When mom died, and we moved in with our aunt …it was just her and me. We did everything together.
She was just supposed to go to college, and then wait for me to graduate. We had planned to move in with one another once school was done and tackle the world. And then she found you, and I was alone. I hated you for taking her away from me, and I hated her for leaving me. Now all I want …is my sister back. And she’s not coming back …she can’t hear me.”
Sara buried her face in her knees sobbing. Fred drew a deep sigh as he scooted closer to her and gave her a pat on the back for moral comfort. He waited as she eventually calmed down drying her face with her sleeve.
“Do you know the day I fell in love with your sister, we were arguing and talking about breaking up?”
“You’re serious?” She snorted.
“It was when we had the studio,” he chuckled. “I don’t even remember what the argument was about, probably because I forgot to put my clothes in the hamper, or she was cooking more than I one week. Anyway, it got pretty nasty, and we were telling each other it was over, but neither of us would leave the apartment.
And then it got worse when she found the Tequila Barney gave me for my last birthday, which you and I know is like giving a Mogwai food after midnight.”
Sara shuddered in agreement from her memories.
“Next thing I know she’s blaring ‘kicking me to the curb’ music and singing off key. Then she started stripping down to her underwear and acting all types of obnoxious. And I’m sitting at the table on my laptop ignoring her and looking for another apartment on line because I’m just through.
So, in the middle of Redman’s ‘I’ll Bee Dat,' she hopped on the table and started to dance. Because she’s shaking it so much, I ended up taking my computer off the table placing it on my lap to continue working. Next thing you know the table which was on its last leg snaps in half, and she falls on her ass.”
“Oh, my God,” Sara covered her mouth. “What did you do?”
“I looked at her, said ‘good for your ass you shouldn’t have been on the table,' and kept searching. You know what she did?”
“What?”
“Got back up and kept dancing.”
Sara burst out laughing, which became infectious as Fred erupted as well.
“That and the song playing caused me almost to piss myself with laughter. Then I got up and started dancing with her, had the raunchiest vile sex you can imagine until the morning, and by midday when we woke up forgetting about the argument or us saying we were breaking up with each other.” He got out between chuckles. “I fell madly in love with your sister that night because no matter what happened she could always make me laugh.
I saw that when the kids were gone, and we were old and gray when my dick no longer worked, and arthritis dwindled our sex life to once a year or holidays, we’d never be bored of each other. She was my best friend.”
Fred’s eyes glassed over, as his lower lip trembled a bit.
“We were out that day because of me because she wanted to spoil me. I told her it wasn’t necessary, but she begged me to give her this one day, and you know how hard it is for me to say no to her.
Things were tight while your sister pursued her dream to become a writer.
We came straight out of college and started living together as you know. I started out at ground level in marketing; Mary ended up picking up a teaching job which I know she hated after being turned down for entry level publishing positions because she ‘lacked experience.' Between coming home worn out, grading papers, and preparing for the next work day, she didn’t have the time to write.
I was pursuing what I wanted to do, but she wasn’t, and it didn’t seem fair to me. I saw that light that she had throughout college slowly fading, and I couldn’t have that. I couldn’t lose my Mary.
So, I found a way to save a part of my measly paycheck, bought her a proper laptop, and during a long painful drawn out weekend, convinced her to quit and become a full-time writer, while I supported the both of us.
It wasn’t easy. I tried my best for her not to see it. Sometimes, I lie awake at night wondering if there was a day she saw me concerned, or frustrated. If there was a bill that I left lying around that she picked up that made her feel guilty. Because as rough as it was, that fact that she was happy …made me happy.
So, when she died, I started to blame myself for not doing more to make her feel that she did not have to pay me back. There were days I wished that I never met her because even though I could never be with her …she’d still be alive …somewhere. I started to hate myself, God, everything that could have possibly caused that day to happen the way it did. And then I finally realized why it hurts so much.”
Fred turned to her with a half-smile as his tears fell.
“Because we were loved, your sister …was love. And this …is the occupational hazard of when it gets taken away.”
He wiped his eyes and kept the smile on his face.
“Mary loved you, Sara,” Fred nodded. “Through all the petty bullshit …she never stopped.”
“I just wish she knew how I felt,” she cried. “I wish I wasn’t such a stupid baby and just told her.”
“She hears you, Sara,” Fred smirked. “Trust me. She hears you.”
Fred sprung to his feet and turned to her.
“Come on; the dead don’t hang around cemeteries. I have a box at the house with some things that I think Mary would want you to have.”
She took his hand as he helped her to her feet. She didn’t let go as she stared down at her feet.
“Thank you …for taking care of my sister.”
“She took care of me.” He smiled.
She gave him a platonic hug which he reciprocated before they walked away side by side.
He smiled as he felt the buzzing of his Apple watch, and glanced down at the message.
“Thank you.”
&nb
sp; ˜ ˜ ˜ ˜ ˜ ˜ ˜ ˜ ˜ ˜ ˜ ˜ ˜ ˜ ˜ ˜ ˜ ˜ ˜ ˜ ˜ ˜ ˜ ˜ ˜ ˜ ˜ ˜ ˜ ˜ ˜ ˜
The days would continue to slowly roll on as Mary and Fred remained stuck in the mud unable to move forward.
It became more apparent how jammed they were when Fred walked into the kitchen one Friday to see Mary accidentally catching the long sleeve of the sheer blue top she wore on fire while cooking.
“Mary!”
He ran over rushing her to the sink turning the faucet on at full blast dousing her arm until the flames went out. He then ripped the burnt sleeve open to inspect the damage as she tried to pull her hand away.
“I’m fine Fred. I’m fine!”
“Just let me see!”
The silicone skin bubbled up a bit and was sheered from the heat. She wrenched her hand away in frustration.
“I can’t feel anything. Remember?”
She stormed away taking a seat on the daybed. She stared out the window not uttering a word for the remainder of the night.
˜ ˜ ˜ ˜ ˜ ˜ ˜ ˜ ˜ ˜ ˜ ˜ ˜ ˜ ˜ ˜ ˜ ˜ ˜ ˜ ˜ ˜ ˜ ˜ ˜ ˜ ˜ ˜ ˜ ˜ ˜ ˜
Around 11:15 PM, Fred who spent most his time in the bedroom in his wallowing, coming out periodically to check on her, walked out dressed to the nine in blue jeans, a simple white shirt, and jacket with the polished brown boots she got him for Christmas two years ago.
“Where are, you going?” She turned to him.
“We are going out on a date.”
He tossed her a simple form fitting black dress that she bought to fit the doll body.
“Get dressed.”
“I don’t want to go out.” She shook her head.
“You may be dead, but you exist, Mrs. Garrett,” He snapped at her. “You exist. We exist. We are not going to sit in this damn apartment and watch each other die again. Now get off your ass, get dolled up, and let’s go out. There’s a midnight showing of ‘The Breakfast Club’ in the park among other things we’re going to do tonight.”
“Did you just tell me to get dolled up?”
“Get dress!” He barked.
This time it was her jumping at the booming of his voice.
“Alright!” She sprung to her feet storming into the bedroom.
Ten minutes later, Fred turned to the clanking of heels as she walked out wearing the black thigh high halter dress and strappy heels. She styled the doll’s hair to match her long curly mane from when she walked among the living. She wore one of her golden bracelets to cover the burn mark from the fire.
She took a timid stance as Fred walked up to her to look her over.
“You look beautiful,” he smiled.
“Not that hard to do with this body,” she returned.
“Ha, ha, you’re missing something.”
Fred revealed that he had his wedding band on, as he pulled out a wedding ring for her. The air became cold as she cupped her mouth, while he slid it onto her finger. He completed her look with a soft kiss on the lips.
“Let’s go,” he continued to hold her hand heading to the door.
“Wait, what about the wheelchair?” She asked.
“I don’t feel like lugging it around,” he smirked.
Due to it being the dead of night, the both of them walked out of their house hand in hand.
The darkness allowed her to maintain her concentration. As long as she remained a safe distance from other people, and didn’t make direct eye contact, she was okay. Fred walked side by side with her with his hand near the small of her waist in cases where she slipped up.
They made their way to the park and sat underneath a tree on a blanket Fred brought cuddling with one another as they watched the John Hughes classic.
Afterward, they drove downtown and took in a comedy club. Fred didn’t plan to eat or drink that night, but Mary made him buy two cocktails while they were there. She sat there playing with her glass and pretending to sip it. After three acts, they left in the middle of one comedian who was just rude and obnoxious. Mary accidentally made eye contact with another patron and lost control of her body.
Fred was there to catch and hold her while she regained it.
“Whoa! Someone can’t hold their liquor,” Heckled the comedian, “You just got out of paying for a lobster dinner buddy!”
Before Fred could come to her defense, the water bottle the comedian held squirted half of its content into his face soaking him causing the crowd to erupt with laughter, Fred giggled as he planted a kiss on her cheek.
“Nice one.”
“Thank you.”
They went to one of their favorite night club and danced like they were in college again. Mary found it easier to maintain control and remain concealed within its darkness and the flashing lights. Fred asked to call it quits when his real age attacked him after three hours of nonstop partying.
They made their way to the Pacific Beach Boardwalk and bought cotton candy. She pretended to eat it. The bites she took she fed to Fred via kisses as they walked from one end of the boardwalk to the other.
This time she became the aggressor backing a willing Fred against a guardrail and kissing him under the moonlight as he held her close.
“I want to go to our beach.” She requested.
With a deep smile, he nodded.
She drove them to Silver Strand State Beach.
Once there, she removed her heels before getting out of the Jeep and took her time stepping onto the sand. Fred turned away hiding the mist in his eyes at what she did next.
He knew she could not feel it, but she scrunched up her toes pretending as if she could feel the grains running through them. He promised her …only smiles …only joy …only love that night.
It was a difficult promise to keep as he watched her walking toward the ocean. Fred followed suit kicking off his boots and socks running after her. She broke into a run sprinting into the water, making him chase her. She went face first into the drink as the first small wave clipped her. He did not help her up; he waited knowing she wanted to right herself. He waited biting his lower lip as she fought to stand from the rushing waves.
As she found her footing against the relentless sea, she celebrated by splashing water on his face, washing away the tears he could not keep away. It left him with no choice but to retaliate.
With both hands cupped his launched a bucket of ocean water at her. She covered up pretending to be surprised after getting doused; he pretended that he could hear her scream and laugh. They frolicked and chased one another allowing the salt water to ruin their evening attire, as they squeezed out every ounce of happiness they had to chase sadness away.
As spent Fred collapsed onto the wet sand with nothing left in his tank, she fell on top of him to get at his reserves.
Their trembling kiss was hotter than the cold waves that splashed on them.
She popped all of his shirt buttons attacking his chest with kisses while going for his belt and pants.
He tore away her thong.
They’re passion as they became one, scorched away the world around them.
With the minuscule of strength, they had left; they used it to get home and then wasted the rest to do it all over again the second they got through the door.
On a soaked bed, they laid entangled within one another somewhere between awake and slumber, in between the crossroads of life and death.
He used his fingers to remove the wet strands of hair from her face and to caress her nose and right cheek lightly.
She placed a hand on his chest and brought back his tears.
She found a way to manipulate her mouth so that he could read her lips.
“Thank you … for loving me.”
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In the middle of the night, around 3 AM, Fred shot up from his slumber by a chilling nightmare. In his dream, he and Mary were someplace dark and cold facing one another, both naked with thick rusty hooks attached to chains embedded within d
ifferent parts of their bodies.
As they reached out to touch one another, the hooks attached to Fred forced him to the ground, while the hooks within Mary lifted her into the air. He bawled and screamed as he watched in horror as Mary wailed in agony while the hooks began to tear her apart in front of him.
Fred drenched in fright sweat clutched his torso that pounded like a baby xenomorph fighting to burst through his chest cavity.
The pounding increased as he noticed that Mary was no longer lying next to him. His ears then picked up what sounded like something digging and scratching into the hardwood floor in the living room.