by Sue Fortin
Lucie hopped up from her seat and leaning over, gave Neve a hug. ‘Hey, it’s OK,’ she said. ‘You’re bound to feel emotional after everything.’
Neve returned the hug. ‘Thanks, Lucie. I don’t deserve a friend like you.’
Lucie laughed. ‘Oh, don’t be so silly. Of course, you do.’
Neve dried her eyes on a rough paper napkin Lucie had plucked from the counter. ‘You’re very sweet. Thank you.’ She stood up. ‘I don’t want to keep you any longer. I’m sure you’ve better things to do.’
‘I’m in no hurry,’ said Lucie.
‘I’d still better go, though. Kit will be home soon.’
‘OK, sweetie. But you know where I am if you need me.’
A rap of knuckles on the glass of the door, made both women jump.
‘Shit, what the hell?’ said Lucie, standing up. ‘Oh, it’s Kit. OK, OK, I’m coming,’ she said, going over to the door.
‘Kit, what are you doing here?’ said Neve as Lucie opened the door.
‘I was just on my way home and I saw your car parked outside,’ said Kit.
There was something about his manner which set Neve’s senses on high alert. She couldn’t put her finger on it, but although he was smiling, the rest of his face wasn’t living up to the expression. He didn’t look angry but there was a tension that sucked the air from the room.
‘I’ll catch you later,’ said Neve to Lucie.
‘Yeah, no worries,’ replied her friend, although the tone of her voice suggested otherwise.
Neve gave Lucie a quick hug. ‘I’ll be fine,’ she whispered.
Neve followed Kit home, parking next to him on the driveway. As Kit opened the boot, Willow bounded out, wagging her tail excitedly at the sight of her mistress.
‘Hello, Willow,’ said Neve, bending down to make a fuss of the dog.
‘The dog gets a better welcome than I do,’ said Kit, blipping the remote locking on his car, before opening the front door.
‘Everything OK?’ asked Neve, once they were inside the house. ‘You seem a little tense.’
‘I’m fine,’ said Kit, sounding anything other than fine. He went through to the kitchen and put the kettle on. ‘Have we got anything for supper or have you eaten?’
‘I’m sure there’s something in the fridge I can put together,’ said Neve, aware they were going through the niceties. The tension from the coffee shop hadn’t been left there, it was more like a takeaway which they had just brought home and unwrapped. ‘Did you get everything done this afternoon that you wanted to?’
‘Yes.’
Neve took some cheese and pickle from the fridge. ‘Cheese sandwiches tonight. Is that OK?’
‘Yes.’
She turned to look at him. He was leaning against the worktop, his arms folded, watching her.
Neve placed the cheese and butter tub on the kitchen island. ‘What’s wrong?’
‘Nothing.’
‘Give me some credit,’ she said. ‘I can tell there’s something wrong. I know you.’
Kit pursed his lips. ‘Rather ironic turn of phrase,’ he said.
‘How come?’
‘You know me or at least you think you do. Much the same way that I know you, or I thought I did.’
His words reached across the centre island and curled icy finger tips around Neve’s throat. ‘What’s that supposed to mean?’
‘Each day, I’m discovering more and more about you,’ he said. His eyes fixed on hers and Neve felt compelled to hold his gaze. She wanted to turn away, to brush off his comment, but it was physically impossible.
‘As the saying goes, you learn something new every day,’ said Neve in an effort to lower the intensity. The laugh she attempted to tag on the end was strangled in her throat.
Kit shook his head. ‘Don’t,’ he said in almost a whisper. He took a step closer to the centre island and with precision, placed something on the work surface, before standing back, his eyes monitoring her for a reaction. ‘I know everything,’ he said.
The words had the power to freeze Neve’s blood; so cold her veins stung like tiny shards of ice were coursing through her. There on the work surface was the glass vial Lee had given her.
‘I must admit,’ said Kit after a few moments of silence elapsed. ‘If I was a betting man, I would have bet my life that you didn’t have the nerve to do something like this.’
Neve pressed her lips together and swallowed hard. She needed a clear head to talk her way through this. She had no idea how much Kit knew.
‘What do you think I did?’ said Neve, surprised at the casualness of her voice.
Kit sprang forward, slamming the palms of his hands down on the work surface. ‘Don’t play games with me.’ The veins in his neck bulged through his skin and a muscle in his jaw throbbed. ‘You drugged me. You drugged my daughter. Jesus, Neve, you had Poppy fucking kidnapped!’ He thumped his fist down onto the work surface. ‘Why? Tell me why!’
The game was up. Kit knew everything. Neve’s right leg began to shake involuntarily. She fumbled with her hands to grab onto the dresser to support herself. ‘I … I’m sorry,’ she whispered.
‘Sorry! You’re sorry? Is that all you can say?’ Kit swiped his hand across the work top, sending a side plate smashing to the floor. ‘Oh, that’s OK, is it? You’re sorry so that makes everything all right?’ This time he booted the unit with his foot. ‘Have you any concept of what you’ve done? Any at all?’
Neve curled her body into herself as if she could shield herself from his fury. He, of course, had every right to be angry. What she had done was unforgiveable, she knew that now. ‘I wasn’t thinking clearly,’ she offered.
‘That’s got to be the understatement of the century,’ said Kit. He dragged his hands down his face. ‘Tell me, Neve. How you did it? How did you get Poppy off that boat? And why?’
‘Please, Kit, you have to realise I would never hurt Poppy or you. All the time, I knew she was safe.’
‘Just TELL ME!’
Neve flinched at Kit’s raised voice. ‘OK. OK. Please don’t shout.’
Kit backed off another step, his hands palms up.
Neve revisited the events that had been haunting her all day long and carefully explained to Kit what she had done.
Neve looked at Kit laying on the bed in an arrangement mildly resembling the recovery position. Now the GHB drug had thoroughly worked itself into his system, he was like a ragdoll. Totally oblivious to anything going on around him and totally incapable of any conscious movement.
In the saloon, Poppy was finishing the last of her hot chocolate. Neve sat beside her daughter who yawned and rested her head back against the side of the boat.
‘Your dad is fast asleep now,’ said Neve. She ventured an arm around Poppy’s shoulders and when the fourteen-year-old didn’t resist, Neve gently pulled her in. Poppy shifted her head to Neve’s shoulder.
‘I’m very … tired,’ she murmured.
‘I know,’ said Neve, dropping a kiss on to Poppy’s head. ‘Close your eyes, sweetheart.’
Poppy’s eyes fluttered open and shut several times as Neve looked down at her, monitoring Poppy’s transition from conscious to semi-conscious. It was a fine line between the two, but after a few more minutes, Neve was satisfied Poppy was no longer aware of her surroundings. Neve manoeuvred herself around and gently rested Poppy’s head on a cushion.
Willow gave a small whine as she sensed the change in atmosphere on the boat. She looked excited. The sort of excited look she had when she thought she was going for a walk. Neve ruffled the Labrador’s head. ‘Sorry, Willow. You’ve got to stay here.’
Neve had to act fast now. She climbed up the wooden step ladder, out onto the deck. It was dusk and the landscape had taken on a monotone colour. She took the untraceable pay-as-you-go phone from her pocket and called up the one number she had stored.
‘Where are you?’ she asked without preamble.
Down the road, replied her accomplice. ‘Are yo
u ready?’
‘Yes.’
She heard the engine before she saw the headlights. There was no one else about, just as she had expected. The noise of the car grew louder and the headlights appeared from around the bend in the road. Seconds later, the car, Neve’s own car, pulled up next to her.
Lee got out the driver’s seat. The keys he’d found in the prearranged hiding place dangled in the ignition.
Without an exchange of words, he waited by the car while Neve went back and managed to get Poppy to her feet. Poppy mumbled but didn’t manage to form any coherent sentence. It was difficult on her own, but Neve had insisted Lee stayed away from the boat, so he didn’t leave any trace of DNA there. Lee held the car door open and Neve poured Poppy onto the rear seat.
A voice in her head told her there was still time to back out. She didn’t have to carry out this plan. But Neve elbowed the thought away as she argued with herself. She did need to do this. It was the only way she’d be able to get Kit to change his mind. If this didn’t change his mind, nothing would, and then there would be Jake. Neve would be forced to leave Kit and Poppy behind. It would be so painful, but it would be necessary if she was to have a baby of her own.
Neve closed the door and turned to Lee.
‘You’ve got all the food and drinks you and Poppy are going to need for the next few days,’ she said. ‘I’ve stored them in the boot. As soon as you’ve got Poppy in the house, remember to take the car back to my house,’ she said, going through her mental check-list. ‘Make sure you leave the key in this magnetic box, stuck to the driver’s side wheel arch.’ Neve handed him a small black key box. ‘Got all that?’
‘Yep.’
‘And remember what I told you to tell Poppy?’
‘Yes,’ said Lee impatiently.
‘Repeat it to me, what you’re going to say.’
Lee gave an annoyed huff. ‘I’m going to tell Poppy that I found her wandering around in the road and that I’m trying to find her father’s phone number to call him. When she tells me the number, I’m going to say that I can’t get any answer.’
‘And don’t let her see your face. Keep your hood up.’
He lit a cigarette. ‘Stop worrying, I’ve got it all sorted. Anyway, she won’t remember a thing.’
‘You must look after her,’ insisted Neve. ‘Don’t give her too much of that GHB. If anything happens to her, I’ll hold you responsible. Don’t make me regret any of this.’
‘Fuck’s sake. Don’t worry about me. You just make sure you’ve got the money you promised,’ said Lee. ‘And don’t try to mug me off, we’re both in this shit up to our necks.’
They eyed each other in the dusk of the evening. Lee was right. They had to trust each other from now on.
‘Right,’ said Neve, to draw a line under that part of the conversation. ‘Take Poppy to Halnaker Windmill by lunchtime on Thursday. Tell her she’s to stay there and wait for her dad. He’s coming and he will be cross if she goes anywhere else.’
‘Like I told you, I know what to say.’ Lee got into the car.
Neve yanked the passenger car door open. ‘And don’t give her any more of that stuff after midnight on Wednesday. It needs time to disappear from her system.’
Neve hurried back to the boat as Lee drove off down the lane. There she washed up the mug Poppy had her hot chocolate in and the glass Kit used for his wine. Then she washed up her own glass and stood them all on the draining board. Next, she made a bed up for Poppy in the aft cabin, ruffling the covers as if she had slept in it. Lastly, she rinsed out the vial, but as she picked it up, her fingers slipped against the soapy bubbles and the vial dropped to the floor, rolling away out of sight.
‘Where’s the bloody thing gone now,’ said Neve dropping to her hands and knees. She peered under the base unit. She couldn’t see anything in the dark. Willow padded over to see if it was some sort of game she could join in.
‘Back in your basket,’ whispered Neve. ‘Go and lay down.’
Using the light on her phone, Neve illuminated the small gap between the unit and the floor. She was just about to reach out for it when a groan came from the cabin. It was Kit.
Neve scrambled to her feet and rushed through to Kit. He had rolled onto his back. Perhaps the GHB wasn’t as strong as Lee said it was. Bloody idiot. If he cocked things up for her now …
Neve shuffled into bed next to Kit. She’d get the vial in the morning when Kit was distracted. Even if the police did happen to find it, she could pass it off as having found it outside and brought it in so Willow didn’t tread on it, but she had then dropped it and it had rolled under the counter. That would account for her fingerprints being on it.
‘So, you just let that fuck-wit drive off with my daughter?’ Kit’s voice was one of incredulity.
‘She was safe. I trusted Lee,’ said Neve. ‘No harm came to Poppy.’
‘But you didn’t know that was going to be the case. There was no way you could have been sure of that. You took a gamble – a gamble on my daughter’s safety!’
‘It’s academic now,’ said Neve, trying not to sound impatient. ‘All Poppy thinks is that a man found her and looked after her until we found her. She can’t remember any detail.’
‘Un-fucking-believable,’ said Kit, as he stalked back and forth across the kitchen.
‘I’m sorry. It seemed so logical at the time,’ said Neve. ‘I wasn’t well. It was like someone else was doing it all, not me.’
Kit stopped walking. ‘Wait, are you telling me this was one of your funny turns?’ He sneered the last two words.
‘It felt as if Megan was doing it,’ admitted Neve. She could feel the tears stinging her eyes, but she blinked hard to stop them from falling. ‘I know now it wasn’t. I know it was me. Please try to understand Kit, I was in a bad place.’
‘And now?’
‘No. It’s strange. It’s like since what happened at Gareth’s, I suddenly feel free. Like I’ve been able to shrug all thoughts of Megan away. For the first time since she went, I don’t feel as if she’s with me anymore.’
‘This is all so bizarre,’ said Kit. ‘Forgive me if I have trouble taking all this in and making sense of it.’
‘I’m so sor—’
‘Stop saying sorry!’ snapped Kit. ‘So, you and Lee had it all planned out in advance?’
Neve nodded, causing the tears to spill from her eyes. She wiped them away with her fingertips and fumbled for a piece of kitchen roll.
‘Why?’ he asked eventually. ‘I don’t understand why?’
Neve pulled at the soggy kitchen roll in her hands, tearing it into two pieces and then folding it over, before scrunching it into a ball and dropping it into the bin to buy herself a few moments.
‘Because I was desperate,’ she said finally. ‘I wanted a baby so badly. I wanted to have a baby with you. I wanted you to want a baby too.’ She sniffed and acquired a fresh piece of kitchen roll. ‘In my messed-up head, I thought if you wanted something as badly as I wanted a baby, then you would understand how I felt. You would have empathy for my feelings, my needs as a woman. I can’t even begin to tell you the pain I felt when I lost my first baby.’
‘How did you think taking Poppy would make me change my mind? I don’t get it.’
‘If you wanted something so badly, so desperately but you couldn’t have it, then you would understand how I felt. If you were desperate but everything was out of your control, then you would be like me. If you would give anything in the world to have that one thing, then you would be like me. I wanted you to feel that. Not just understand it or know it, I wanted you to actually feel that anguish. Taking Poppy from you, taking away your power, leaving you at the mercy of another person’s decision was the only way I could think of to make that happen.’
She was crying now, her words tumbling out amongst the tears and gulps of air, the catches of breath in her throat and the pain in her heart.
‘I asked Lee to help me.’
‘And he
did without question or thought for what it would do to me and Poppy?’
‘He owed me from way back. I never grassed on him about the cocaine. Besides, everyone has their price,’ said Neve. ‘Even you.’
‘Even me?’
‘Yes. You wanted Poppy back so much, you would have agreed to anything. And you did.’
‘If only you’d told me everything, told me exactly how you felt. It didn’t have to come to this.’ Kit resumed his pacing.
‘I tried,’ said Neve, as another sob escaped her lungs. ‘But we’d stopped talking and stopped listening to each other.’
‘And Jake?’
‘He was my plan b.’
Kit stopped pacing and faced Neve. ‘But you don’t have a plan b anymore.’
‘I don’t need it. I never even really wanted a plan b. I just wanted you. You’ve always been my one and only plan. The only one who I’ve truly loved.’
It was a few moments before Kit spoke. ‘Neve, I’ve always loved you too. You fixed my world when it had been shattered into tiny fragments. You picked up the pieces and put them back together. I can never thank you enough for that. Never love you enough.’
She could see the truth in his words, hear the emotion in his voice. How the hell had they got to this when they loved each other so much?
‘We can work through this,’ she said, her words eager to be heard. ‘I understand myself now. I realise I’ve never really come to terms with what happened to Megan. I know I need help and I promise you, I’ll get help. I’ll have counselling. I’ll make myself totally better. You don’t ever have to worry about me again.’
‘I want to believe you, but you’ve put me through every parent’s worst nightmare.’ He came to stand in front of her. ‘I should phone Pearson and tell him everything.’
She felt a rush of alarm. ‘You wouldn’t do that?’
‘Why wouldn’t I?’
Neve couldn’t tell if he truly meant what he was saying. She needed to be convinced. She had one last card up her sleeve. ‘Because you’d be implicating yourself.’
He gave her a quizzical look. ‘Really? How’s that?’
‘I know what you did to Jake. I know it was you who attacked him. You don’t want me to tell the police that any more than I want you to tell them what I did.’