We all try to console her, and by console, I mean get her drunk. We go about starting some cookies and we’re five batches in and the girl is tipsy. She pulls her phone out and pulls up Jax’s name.
“Shit.” Lex says as it rings over the speakerphone.
“Avery, hey. What’s up?” He says when he answers the phone. She sighs.
“I just called to applegize.” She hiccups and I snort. This girl.
“To what?” He coughs out and then you can hear him talking in the background before the noise finally quiets and it sounds like he’s outside or something.
“Apologize,” she says, hiccupping again.
“Shit. Are you drunk?” You can hear the smile in his voice.
“Just tipsy,” she says, taking the call off speakerphone and leaving the room to finish the conversation.
“I wish those two would just date already,” Clarissa says, and we all echo our agreements.
“What about you, Lainey? Have you met anyone in Monroeville that’s piqued your interest?” Lex asks and Lainey’s cheeks turn red. I squeal.
“Oh my god, you have! Tell us who!” I hoist myself up onto the counter with my glass of wine and wait for her response.
“Not reallyyy,” she says, dragging the word out and avoiding making eye contact with any of us.
“She’s lying,” Lex says with a frown. “Why won’t you tell us?” Lainey sighs.
“Because then you’re all going to be trying to get me to ask him out and I don’t know if I can.”
“Do we know him?” Clarissa asks and Lainey nods her head. I wrack my brain, trying to think of who is still unattached that we know and suddenly, it comes to me.
“No,” I say, pressing my hand to my chest. Oh my god.
“What? Do you know who it is?” Lex asks, turning her attention on me and narrowing her eyes. “Tell us!”
“That’s it,” Clarissa says, walking over and smacking the back of Lainey’s hand that is holding her phone, sending the phone sailing into the air and Riss snatches it, turning her back on the rest of us. Lex gasps dramatically and Lainey screeches.
“Oh my god, Clarissa!” She shouts, launching herself at her back and trying to get the phone out of her hand. Clarissa has a good few inches on her so she holds it up in the air, scrolling through her text messages. Avery hears the commotion and comes back in the kitchen from the garage, pocketing her phone.
“What in the world?” She questions and I motion for her to join me on the counter. She hoists herself up beside me. “What’s happening?”
“Lainey has a crush and Clarissa is trying to figure out who it is,” I say over the commotion of Lainey trying to get her phone and Lex trying to convince Clarissa to tell us all what she finds.
“Holy shit!” Clarissa hollers, doing a happy dance and dropping the phone back in Lainey’s hands. Lainey’s breathing heavy, her hair askew.
“You fight dirty,” she murmurs, typing something out on her phone before punching Clarissa in the arm.
“Sure the fuck do,” Clarissa quips, dropping onto a barstool and picking her drink back up and taking a sip, like she didn’t just find out some juicy details.
“Tell us!” Avery shouts and Clarissa rolls her eyes.
“Nope,” she says, popping the p, “not my story to tell. Though I do feel better now that I know.”
Lainey narrows her eyes at her and sits down on the stool next to her.
“Think about who Polly lives next door to, y’all.” Lex says, realization lighting up her face. “That old house next to her sat empty for years until he bought it.”
“Oh my god, fine. Y’all are so nosy.” Lainey exclaims, “it’s Zander. Zander lives next door.” She drops her head to the bar top with a thunk and Avery squeals excitedly.
“Oh my god, Zander James is F-I-N-E, fine girl. Holy shit.” Avery says and I murmur in agreement because she isn’t wrong.
“He really is. And he’s so sweet,” I say. Zander and I were the same age in school, grew up and graduated together. He was always one of the nice guys. Then he left for basic training and disappeared into Special Forces, only coming home occasionally between jobs. He just recently settled back into life here in Monroeville when he left his job and moved back after a mission went so bad, he was nearly killed.
“He’s got a lot of baggage,” Clarissa says, because we all know what years of the military can do to good people.
Lainey shrugs her shoulders. “I’ve got a lot of baggage too,” she says. “You just have to decide if you love someone enough to help them unpack.”
December 23rd
Dean
“No, there.” I move my hand over an inch while she cocks her head to the left and right, opening and closing one eye.
“No, that’s not right. Switch it with the silver.” I heave out a sigh.
“How fuckin’ long are we gonna be doin’ this, babe? Cos I gotta say, no one gives a shit where these damn bulbs are hung on this tree,” I make the mistake of saying out loud, causing Whit to narrow her eyes at me.
“I give a shit, Dean!” She snaps. “This is our first Christmas together since you’ve been back. We’re engaged and we’re going to have our families here on Christmas eve. I need the tree to be symmetrical!” She shouts hysterically and I’ve had enough. I chuck the bulb into the tree and she gasps dramatically. I roll my eyes and stride towards her, backing her up against the wall.
“Move!” She snaps, slapping her hands against my chest and shoving. I chuckle, not affected at all whatsoever by her shove.
“Baby,” I cough out, sliding my arm around her waist and pulling her flush against me. I look down into her eyes. “I promise, it doesn’t matter whether we hang the silver or red. The tree looks amazing, the house smells incredible, and you look fuckin’ fantastic in this red dress with these heels.” I bunch her dress in my hands, rucking it up an inch. Her breath hitches and I grin.
“I just want everything to be perfect,” she says, toying with the button on my shirt. Tonight is Christmas at Ford’s with all our friends and tomorrow, our families are coming here for Christmas Eve dinner and she’s been worrying herself sick about it, making sure everything is perfect.
“It will be perfect, sweetheart.” I swoop down and press a kiss just as the doorbell rings. I lightly punch the wall with my hand and growl into her mouth. She laughs, pushing me away and heading to the door, Ranger hot on her heels. I already know who it is. She comes back into the living room with Zander trailing behind her, an excited Ranger dancing at his feet. He bends down and scratches the dog’s head.
“Good to see you back in town, Z,” I say as we all get ready to leave.
“Good to be back, man. Ready to slow it down a little, maybe meet a real pretty lady,” he shoots a grin at Whit who rolls her eyes.
“I know all your moves, Zander Sinatra. Don’t think you can charm me,” she sasses at him and he laughs.
“You fellas ready?” She drops down on her haunches and baby-talks the dog, giving him no less than seven kisses and telling him how good of a boy he is. We lock the house up and climb into Zander’s Chevy truck.
“Thanks for pickin’ us up,” Whitley says, buckling herself in the backseat as I climb in beside her. Zander’s truck rumbles to a start as he steers us towards town. He’s taken to not drinking these days, so he offered to drive us to and from Ford and Lex’s Christmas party.
“Happy to do it, just please, no sex in my backseat,” he narrows his eyes at me and Whit’s cheeks pinken from the memory. We once banged in the backseat of the pickup he drove back in high school while he was passed out drunk at a house party. I chuckle.
“I can control myself, but I’m not sure about my fiancé,” I chide, and she pinches my side. It’s not long before he’s steering us onto their dead-end street and parking his truck at the curb. Once we’re inside and hellos are passed out, Whitley breaks off to find the girls and Zander and I settle in with the guys that are gathered around the island in their kitche
n.
Jax tips his whiskey glass towards us in greeting as Ford and Jensen debate heavily about why the town changed the parking ordinance.
“Thank fuck,” Jax breathes out, motioning at the other two guys, “these idiots have done nothing but argue about the new parking meters that were installed downtown.”
“All I’m saying is, the town gets enough of our money, now they're going to make us pay for parking?! It should be criminal.” Ford seethes and Jensen rolls his eyes, nodding at me and Zander.
“Moving on,” Jensen says, “Merry Christmas, y’all.”
We all pass out our Merry Christmas’s and participate in taking a shot of whiskey, everyone but Zander who’s sipping a ginger ale. He tips his can at us as we all take the shot, the liquor blazing a trail down my throat. The ladies mosey into the kitchen and Whit comes right to me, shoving herself under my arm and tucking into my side. Things have been so good between us. She’s been wedding planning and any time she asks for my opinion; I remind her that whatever she wants is what I want. I don’t give a shit how much it costs or how it looks, so long as the end result is me at the end of that aisle waiting on her.
Her petite hand is wrapped around a glass of wine, her ring sparkling in the bright kitchen lights. Can’t wait to turn that engagement ring into a wedding ring. I’m the luckiest man alive. Could only be luckier if I knocked her up. Shit, that thought zaps me back to the future. The realization hits me immediately that I can’t go through another loss with this woman. It damn near killed me before, but it would kill me now. Losing one baby was hard enough, I could never handle losing another.
I’m brought back into the moment by the pop! of a champagne cork. Ford lines six glasses up and fills them all up with champagne, passing them out to all the adults.
“A toast,” he says, raising his glass, “to lifelong friendships and chaotic family Christmas parties.” We all toast just as a little black ball of fur tears through the kitchen and comes to a skittering stop right before hitting the stove. It’s a tiny kitten that looks terrified for its life. Aria comes sliding into the kitchen, crashing into Jaxson before righting herself and diving for the kitten.
“Mr. Whiskers, stop running!” She yells out and scoops the cat up in her arms. It hisses.
“Sugar plum, I think Mr. Whiskers needs a break,” Lex says, prying the kitten from Aria’s hands and barely getting it to the floor before it takes off again, headed towards the living room. She picks Aria up and smooths her hair down.
“You mean like when you lock yourself in the bathroom and let me watch YouTube so you can drink wine alone in the bathroom?” She asks and Lex laughs, nodding her head.
“Yes, honey. We all need a break sometimes.” Aria seems satisfied enough with that answer and wiggles down, headed to terrorize her brother. Eventually we all make our way into the living room, moving on to the present portion of the evening.
I flop down into an oversized chair, whiskey glass in one hand. Whitley starts helping to pass out presents and my mind wanders. Not sure where that ‘wanting a kid’ stuff came from earlier. I know it’s not something that’s in the cards for me again, and it seems stupid to say it out loud, but it’s not something Whitley and I have discussed. I’m not sure whether she wants kids or not. Fuck. I can’t believe we’ve never talked about it. I take a sip from my glass.
“Hey,” Whit says, sliding into my lap and wrapping her arms around my neck. She shoots me a questioning look. “Everything okay?” Her eyes bounce back and forth between mine.
“Yeah. Fine, everything’s great. Just taking it all in,” she seems satisfied enough with my answer. She positions herself on the floor in front of my chair, leaning over to help Avery’s brother Blake with one of his presents. He can’t get the bow off, so she takes his hand in hers, showing him how to tug on the end to untie it. Once it unravels, his face lights up. She grins at him and then shoots that grin towards me. Fuck. The way she lights up around kids, she deserves to be a mom again. Tons of little Whit’s running around with the same fuckin’ attitude. How could I ever take that away from her? I drain the rest of my glass, my mind running a mile a minute, knowing I won’t like what’s going to come next.
Whitley
Punching the numbers on the keypad for the front door, Dean ushers me in ahead of him and locks up behind us. Ranger barrels towards me, so I bend down and give him a quick rub down before kicking my heels off. Dean heads towards the patio door without saying a word to let him out to do his business.
He’s been weird since the party, quiet and reserved. He didn’t socialize much while we were there, and he barely said two words in the truck on our way home. I climb up onto the barstool at the island and wait for him to come back inside. Once he’s in the kitchen, he makes himself busy pouring a glass of whiskey.
“So, do you want to talk about it?” I ask and his eyes flick to mine, but there’s nothing there but a blank stare.
“About what?” He asks, settling his back against the counter and crossing his arms over his chest.
“About whatever is botherin’ you. You’ve been quiet since we left the party. Did I do somethin’ wrong?”
“No Whitley, you didn’t do anything wrong.”
“Then what is it?” He heaves out a sigh and roughs his hand through his hair.
“Do you want kids?” He asks me and I answer without hesitation.
“Of course, I want kids,” I say, wondering where all this is coming from. He nods his head, scrubbing his hand over his mouth.
“Yeah, I figured as much.” He pushes off the counter and steps up to me on the stool, settling himself between my legs and I tilt my head back to meet his eyes.
“We always talked about havin’ a bunch of babies,” I start, and he cuts me off.
“We’re not kids anymore, Whitley. We had a baby and losin’ that baby damn near fucking killed me.” He toys with my hair, eyes volleying back and forth between mine. “Meant every word I said when I gave you that ring, but baby, I have to be honest with you. Kids aren’t in the cards for me.” My heart stutter stops at his words.
“You don’t want kids?” I ask, shocked. It’s all I’ve ever wanted, as an only child, was to have a huge family.
“It’s not just that I don’t want to, Whit. I, uh,” Dean clears his throat, “I can’t.” He finishes the sentence on a whisper and my heart rate kicks up.
“Can’t?” I ask, not sure I’m understanding him correctly. I can’t be. He wouldn’t do this to me. Make me fall in love with him, knowing he can’t give me everything I’ve ever told him I wanted. He shakes his head again.
“I had the surgery about a year after I left. I was hurting so bad, angry at the world for taking our baby. I didn’t, couldn’t, go through that again. So, I found a doctor that would do it and had a vasectomy.”
My world stops and everything goes fuzzy, my ears ringing. Surgery. Can’t have kids.
“How could you make such a reckless decision?” I whisper harshly and Dean flinches as if I’ve slapped him.
“Reckless?” He grits out, shoving away from me. “Reckless was getting pregnant at seventeen. Reckless, was thinking our relationship would have survived a teen pregnancy. You and I wouldn’t be sitting here today if Everly hadn’t died, Whitley, and you fuckin’ know it.” He says and I shake my head, tears streaming down my cheeks, absolutely devastated. He doesn’t know that. None of us do.
“Did you ever really want her?” My voice cracks with the question, right along with my heart.
“Of course I wanted her!” He punches the countertop, causing me to flinch. “I wanted her just as much as you did, Whit. Don’t twist my fuckin’ words. What I’m telling you is, if we had been dealt a different hand, you and I would not be a we. We were so young, so immature, we wouldn’t be where we are now.”
I grip my head, his words whirling around me like a tornado and I stand so abruptly that the bar stool crashes to the ground. I try to breathe through the panic that’s buildi
ng in my chest, something I haven’t felt in years.
“I have to get out of here.”
“Whitley, just listen...” He starts but I cut him off.
“No. No!” I hiss, unable to stop the words tumbling out of my mouth. “I begged you not to break my fuckin’ heart again, Dean. You came back to this town. YOU pursued ME, not the other way around. You chased me knowin’ you didn’t want kids. Knowin’ you couldn’t ever give that to me, and you never once thought about how I would feel?” My chest is rising and falling with each word, each crack in my heart. I’ve never loved anyone, anything, as much as I love this man and Everly, and for him to sit here and tell me that she was a mistake? I storm through the house to the entryway, shoving my feet into a pair of my boots that are sitting by the door. I snatch my purse off the hook, desperate to get out of this house and away from him. I throw the door open and hit the porch.
“God damnitt, Whitley, stop walkin’ away from me.” Dean demands, grabbing my shoulder and spinning me around.
“STOP!” I scream, my voice echoing in the night, bouncing off the trees. The cicadas singing a song in the distance. Crickets chirping. Dean scrubs his hands over his face, his broken, beautiful face.
“Please. Please, let us just go back inside and talk about this.”
“I can’t do this with you, Dean.” I say, breaking his heart and mine. “I can’t be with someone who doesn’t want babies with me.” Shaking my head as more tears fall, “I’m not sure I ever really knew you at all. Please, don’t follow me.”
“Let me at least take you home,” he begs, desperation lacing his voice. I shake my head, vehemently.
“No. No, I don’t even want to be near you right now. I’ll walk,” I hitch my purse up over my shoulder and leave him behind, same as he did to me all those years ago.
Dean
I wake with a start, my head pounding. I came inside after Whit stormed off and drank until I passed out. My stomach rolls with the memories, replaying last night in my head. I don’t blame her for being upset with me, I should have been honest with her from the beginning. I could never regret Everly. Was it a reckless decision? Absolutely. I was barely twenty-one. I may not have known a lot back then, but what I did know was that I couldn’t go through that pain again.
Come Back for You: Boys of Alabama Page 11