Oh.
‘If you had actually told me that day that you were ovulating I don’t think I’d have even heard. I was going to have you—’
‘Oh!’ She said it out loud this time.
Actually, she was surprised he knew such a word—but then the witch in her head flew in and reminded her that Nico knew all about female anatomy.
‘We made love and we made a baby,’ Nico said.
‘Yes.’
‘I came back from Silibri early because it stunk without you,’ he told her. ‘Thank goodness I had that last morning with my father, but I flew home early. Marianna said you were at the house, for the balcony...’ He looked right at her. ‘I came in and I knew you were still there. I followed my desire up the stairs and we seduced each other—the way we do and the way we always have. We took each other beyond the edge and, no, I was not thinking of pills, or condoms, or anything other than getting inside you. So, no, you did not trap me.’
‘Thank you,’ she said.
‘And another thing,’ Nico said. ‘My intention is not to lay a finger on you until we have talked this out, however, please go on the Pill—because there will be times, like this current one, where I want you on the floor.’
‘I am on the Pill,’ Aurora said.
Thank goodness, she thought, because she was squirming with how turned on she was.
‘Why?’
‘Because whatever our feelings are, or are not, we do always seem to end up in bed.’
‘We do,’ Nico agreed, and took a long drink of red wine. He held it for a moment in his mouth, then swallowed it down. ‘But not now, because we have a lot to sort out.’
‘I’m not ready to sort it all out.’
Tears were filling her eyes again. She did not want his practical solutions, she wanted his adoration—his relief that she was back in his life. Aurora wanted his love.
‘Please, Nico, I’m not ready to thrash things out with you.’
‘Then eat.’
She nodded.
‘But I mean it, Aurora. No sex till we’re sorted.’
‘Good!’
She took a mouthful of her own wine and swallowed that lie.
For the first time in her life Aurora left dirty plates at the table. She was simply too drained and exhausted as she searched out the nanny. Her room was miles away!
‘He’s a delight,’ the nanny said as Aurora took over bathing Gabe. ‘Why don’t I warm him a bottle?’
‘Thank you,’ Aurora said.
It was nice to sit in a chair and feed him, with this kindly woman watching on. She had missed her mamma so much these last few months.
‘I hope you’re settled in okay?’ Aurora said.
‘And you.’ The nanny smiled. ‘And little Gabe. It’s our first night here for all of us.’
‘True.’ Aurora gave a tired laugh.
‘Your cheek...?’
‘It wasn’t Nico,’ Aurora said, in an effort to clear the air. ‘He would never, ever do something like that.’
‘I know,’ the nanny agreed. ‘Or I would not have taken the job.’
‘I worked for someone who did, though,’ Aurora said.
Oh, heavens, she was like a leaky tap all of a sudden, but it dawned on her how much tension she had lived with these past months. All the energy spent watching the gathering storms.
Poor Louanna, Aurora thought. And Antonio and little Nadia.
She looked down at Gabe, whose eyes were heavy and sleepy. He gave her a soft smile, at the very edge of his lips and looked at her with his trusting eyes.
Poor Nico.
It hit her then, fully, just how appalling it must be to be beaten by someone you love—someone you should be able to trust.
It was no wonder Nico did not want anything more to do with love.
‘Go to bed,’ the nanny said when she saw Aurora’s tears. ‘I’ll take care of little Gabe.’
Nico and the nanny were right, Aurora thought as she kissed her son goodnight. She needed a night to sleep properly, knowing her baby was safe.
There was a surprise in the bedroom.
And not just that Nico had straightened up the bed. He stood there in his black lounge pants.
Aurora laughed. ‘I thought they were in case you had to go to hospital.’
‘Marianna talks too much,’ Nico said. ‘But, yes, these are for emergencies—and you, Aurora, are always that.’
She did not know quite what he meant, but he’d said it almost fondly.
Nico knew what he meant. She brought drama and tension into Nico’s life every time he saw her. She made the blood race through his veins and sent warnings screaming into his brain.
And always he fought to keep a cool head and control. The one time he hadn’t, or rather the few times he hadn’t...
But he must not think of sex now—he just did not want Aurora out of his sight.
At first they lay in a silence that was neither easy nor companionable; it was just silence as they both burrowed deeply into their own thoughts.
It was Aurora who broke it. ‘I don’t like leaving Gabe’s night feeds to the nanny.’
‘Well, try not to disturb me when you get up to go to him.’
She laughed in the darkness, and it scared her how right it felt to be in his bed.
‘Did it hurt?’ Nico asked. ‘The birth?’
‘Agony!’ Aurora said.
‘You didn’t tell your parents I was the father?’
‘No.’
‘Why not?’
‘I don’t want to answer that, Nico.’
‘Okay.’
‘I don’t want to talk any more.’
‘Then don’t.’
Aurora liked it that he did not push her to respond, and that he’d accepted her refusal to answer. She liked the feeling of being next to him in the darkness, even if he might not really want her there.
And so they slept—albeit restlessly.
Aurora rolled into him and rested her head on his chest, and then she found her fingers wanting to explore the dips in his ribs, and the hair on his stomach, but before she caved in and did, Aurora rolled away.
And at midnight Nico woke up hard and pressed against her, so he turned onto his back and tried to think boring, unsexy thoughts.
It was a joke that they’d pretended either of them would sleep. Nico wanted sex. And the woman he wanted to have sex with lay beside him. He could feel her desire in the thick air between them.
Yet sex could only muddy the waters.
He could tell that she was awake next to him.
‘Nico?’ she said. ‘We have to talk...’
She said it as if he was the one who was reluctant—as if he was the one who had shut down the conversation two hours ago.
Life with Aurora!
But he didn’t bother pointing it out, for indeed it was time to talk, to work things out. Here in the dark.
‘What do you want to happen, Aurora?’
‘I don’t know.’
‘You must have thought about it or at least considered it.’
‘I’m confused,’ she admitted, and when he took her hand, she squeezed his back.
‘Then let’s talk it out.’
‘From what I can see I have two options.’
‘Options are good—so tell me.’
‘I want to tell you...’ She just did not know how.
But as she lay in the darkness she found a way, and she spoke to him as she had to Louanna the night before Gabe had been born.
‘I wanted to tell—’ She had been about to say, to tell you, but held it in. ‘From the moment I found out I was pregnant I wanted to tell the baby’s father. After all, there is no doubt that Gabe is his. And I believe he would support the baby.’
‘Of course he would,’ Nico answered carefully. He would give the world to get her real thoughts, and if taking himself out of the equation helped, then that was fine with him.
‘But I worry,’ Aurora said, ‘that he might suggest the other option.’
Nico was silent.
‘Marriage,’ she said. ‘You see, he turned me down once, and I would always feel I had forced him into it.’
‘Okay...’
It was a gentle okay. It gave no indication as to his thoughts. More an acknowledgment that he had heard her.
‘I think,’ Aurora said, ‘that he will want the second option—even if he doesn’t really want it. He’s a good man, and very respected by my family. They would certainly expect him to marry me.’
‘And you don’t want that?’
‘No. I think I would prefer option one.’
‘Okay...?’
It was the same response as before, but it contained a question.
‘You see,’ Aurora ventured, ‘I think he might regret that day.’
‘Well, I don’t think he does.’
‘I mean, he never wanted to marry...’
Silence from Nico.
‘But now he will try to do the right thing by me. I would hate that. I think our marriage would be a terrible mistake.’ She struggled to voice the picture that danced in her mind. ‘He would come to Silibri and see us now and then...perhaps at weekends...and then return to his life. I would have a husband and Gabe a father and we would have respect in the village, and he would have his life in Roma. His stunning apartment and...’ She did not finish.
‘And?’ Nico pushed.
‘Other women.’
Her breath was held tight in her lungs as he seemed to consider it.
‘You’d be okay with that?’ Nico checked.
And because it was dark she could not see his smile. And because she was so focussed on the awful scenario that danced in her mind she did not hear the tiny tease in his words.
She missed, completely, the fact that Nico had made a joke.
‘Of course not,’ she snapped.
‘Do you love him, Aurora?’
‘Too much.’
‘Do you believe he loves you?’
‘If he does it is a very occasional love—not enough to endure a lifetime. Which is why I prefer option one.’
‘You will always have option one, where he supports both you and the baby, but what of option two?’ Nico persisted. ‘What if he wants marriage and a family now? What if he has changed his mind?’
‘Perhaps he is just saying that to humour me. You see, I know for a fact he would prefer a quiet wife who would stay in the background...’
‘You know that for a fact?’
‘Yes!’ Aurora said. ‘Because he told me so himself. And I’m not so good at being the type of wife he prefers. I could try to be her, though...’
‘Why would you try to be someone you’re not?’
‘Because if he makes the effort for me, then I should do the same for him.’
‘Would he want you to change?’
‘He wants serene, he wants elegant, and he wants calm and peace.’ She turned and looked at him in the darkness. ‘I could try to be all of that.’
‘You won’t last five minutes, Aurora.’
‘Watch me, Nico.’
He did.
Nico watched her sleep.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
GABE!
Aurora woke in an empty bed and no baby.
No Nico.
Yes, she had the nanny, but panic had her dashing down the grand stairs and through the long entrance hall—and then coming to a halt at the door of the kitchen.
Nico sat on a bar stool holding her baby—or rather, their baby. He was wearing suit trousers, socks and shoes, but he was naked from the hips up and unshaven.
Half executive, half temptation.
‘I overslept,’ Aurora said. ‘I never oversleep.’
‘It’s only seven.’
‘That’s late for me. Usually I’m up at six...sometimes five...’ She was gabbling. But she had to keep speaking about inane things because the sight of him, the delicious sight of him, was too much for this hour.
‘Gabe needs to be fed,’ Aurora said, holding out her hands for him to hand over their son.
‘I just fed him,’ Nico said. ‘And that is why I am not wearing a shirt. He vomited on me. The nanny is sorting me out another one.’
‘Oh.’ Aurora didn’t know what to say to that, but again held her hands out for her son. ‘Well, he needs to be changed.’
‘He’s already been changed,’ Nico said.
‘Did you do that too?’
‘No.’ Nico shook his head. ‘I left that to the nanny.’
He smiled, and it was so rare that he did, that when he did she felt as if she wore skates and the marble floor was ice, for she wanted to glide over to Nico.
Her outstretched hands were now for him, Aurora realised, so she dropped them to her sides.
‘He’s handsome,’ Nico said, looking down at his son.
‘Very.’
‘I would expect his father must be too,’ Nico said, slipping into the banter they had shared last night.
‘Not really.’ Aurora wrinkled her nose and teased him, but could not erase her smile. She tried to, but it just kept shining through.
And then it dawned on her how terrible she must look, in his crumpled shirt and with a bruise on her cheek. Surely his perfect wife would be in active wear at this hour, all glowing from her morning yoga—or from having just gone down on him.
Aurora preferred the thought of the latter, even if she had never done it before...
‘I’d better go,’ Nico said.
‘Where?’ Aurora asked.
‘Where do you think?’
‘Can’t work wait, Nico? Surely we have a lot to discuss and—’ She halted herself, for she had sworn at least to try and be the perfect wife. ‘What time will you be...?’ She swallowed. His perfect wife would not ask when he would be back. ‘I’m going to cook today.’
‘I have a housekeeper for that.’
Although then he realised that she and her husband had both just gone on leave.
‘Or I have chefs down the road,’ Nico said. ‘And, anyway, you need to shop.’
‘Why?’
‘Because you need new clothes. And a haircut.’ He picked up her hand. ‘And a manicure, my dear elegant wife.’
She had never in her life had a manicure.
‘I don’t have time for that. I have a son to take care of.’
‘And a husband to please...?’ Then he stopped teasing her. ‘You have taken care of our son alone for the last two months, so today is for you. Go to the boutiques at the hotel and then to the salon. I shall let them know to expect you.’
‘Nico, I can’t—’
‘You never have to say that again, Aurora.’
But he was not saying it with the tender care she needed this morning. He was not holding her in his arms and telling her the nightmare of her world without him was over.
Instead, he was basically telling her that the money was taken care of.
Which was nice, of course. But it wasn’t even the icing on the cake. It was like a sugar ball that rotted your teeth and stuck in your throat.
She could not bear to spend the day without him—without knowing what went on in his head and what his reaction was to the fears she had shared last night.
‘I could come and see you on your lunchbreak?’ she suggested.
‘Aurora, I don’t have a lunchbreak.’
‘Is that only for peasants?’ she sneered.
‘Yep.’
‘Well, I might bring Gabe up to your office...’
�
��No.’ He shook his head. ‘You need a day off to take care of yourself. Anyway, I’m too busy today.’ He glanced at the time. ‘I really had better go...’
Finally he handed her Gabe, and looked right into her eyes. For a second she thought he might kiss her, but it was a fleeting second, for he’d already pulled back.
‘You need to shave,’ Aurora said.
‘Funny, that, because suddenly I don’t have time.’
The nanny came in then, with another shirt. He dressed hastily and left.
Oh, what had she done...?
She looked at the baby bottle on the kitchen bench, at the dinner plates and wine glasses still on the dinner table from last night, and she thought of her dishevelled appearance and all the chaos she had brought into his supremely ordered life.
Nico was a man who liked order and calm.
Well, he would get it, Aurora decided. He would come home tonight to the fabled perfect wife.
Nico would get the woman he truly wanted.
* * *
‘Aurora!’
Luigi greeted her like a long-lost friend. ‘Marianna called and said you were coming in! It is so wonderful to see you again.’
‘I look terrible,’ Aurora grumbled as she sat in a chair in the luxurious salon. She looked so sallow in the mirror that she barely recognised herself.
‘What happened to your cheek? You poor thing!’
‘I got in the way of an angry man and his wife,’ Aurora admitted.
‘Well, Luigi is going to wave his magic wand and make you all better.’
‘Can you make me elegant, Luigi?’
‘Of course. I can do anything.’
Make him love me, Aurora thought as she handed herself over to Luigi and his minions.
It was not a little job.
She received a facial and, of all things, eyelash extensions. And a manicure. And a pedicure. All this before he even got to work on her make-up and hair.
And they chatted.
‘What should I wear?’
‘In the boutique next door,’ Luigi told her, ‘there is a grey chiffon dress... Oh, my, Aurora, it is so elegant.’
‘Grey?’
‘I shall call them now and have them bring it round for you to view it.’
It was very lovely—but very grey.
‘Do you have it in red?’
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