“For some people.”
Cobie leaned forward. “What about for you?”
“I can’t imagine why pretending to date you would be different from pretending to date a man,” Lila said, but her eyes wandered to Cobie’s lips. They did appear softer than most. Cobie’s hands did too, small, with elegant fingers, and not a hint of callouses. Would everything about her be softer? Smoother? She shook the speculation from her find. “The basic concepts remain the same no matter who your co-star happens to be, right? Some are just better than others.”
“You’ve had bad ones before though?” Cobie asked.
“A few,” Lila admitted, running one finger around the rim of her still-full wine glass.
“And what were the cardinal sins of my predecessors?”
Lila raised her eyebrows, surprised at the question. “Are you digging for dirt on my exes?”
“No names,” Cobie said quickly. “Just their most grievous offences, so I can avoid repeating them.”
She thought for a moment, searching for a way to convey a multitude of grievances without actually sounding too aggrieved. Finally, she shrugged and said, “They forget none of this is ever real.”
Cobie sat back. “Well there’s the whole crux of the matter. It’s sort of like playing Hamlet. You have to convince everyone on stage you’re crazy while convincing everyone in the audience you’re not.”
“And by ‘crazy,’ you mean ‘in love with me?’”
Cobie’s cheeks flushed adorably. “I didn’t mean it quite that way.”
“It’s okay. I have a long list of exes who would tell you it’s insane to fall for me.” She paused while the waiter set their desserts in front of them. Once he’d retreated, she used a spoon to crack the hard sugar shell of her crème brûlée before saying, “So tell me, Cobie, have you ever actually played Hamlet before?”
“Not yet.”
“You’re about to.”
“I’m ready,” Cobie said with a hint of defiance. “Are you?”
“It’s not my first time on this stage.”
“It’s your first time here with me.”
The little shot of bravado amused her. Cobie seemed to be growing more confident as the evening went on, but she wondered whose benefit the shift was for. Did she view the evening as an audition or the first day on a new job? Was she getting into the role someone else had written or trying to develop her own character? And most importantly, did Lila want to bolster that emerging confidence or keep her off balance? With a man, the choice would’ve been an easy one. They needed a firmer hand, or at least the ones she’d “dated” certainly did. It required constant work to keep them in their place and not all up in her business. Cobie, by contrast, hadn’t yet showed her hand. She seemed to bounce back and forth between going for what she wanted and not quite wanting what she’d gotten. The confusion made it harder for Lila to decide how to react consistently. Then again, consistency might be overrated in situations where they were both out to prove they had new tricks up their sleeves.
She took another bite of her crème brûlée, closing her eyes to savor the sweetness across her tongue before admitting, “I will give you points for the dessert call. This is divine.”
“You should try mine.”
“I think I will.” Lila stuck out her fork toward the tiramisu, and Cobie knocked it away with her own.
“I’m not sure we’ve reached the dessert-sharing stage of our relationship yet.”
Lila’s eyes went wide, and her mouth fell open.
“Sorry,” Cobie said in a way that made it clear she wasn’t. “I’m all for doing a lot of things on the first date, but I’m not the kind of woman to just give up tiramisu right away.”
“I’m not used to being told no,” Lila said, still not certain if Cobie was serious.
“Shocking.” Cobie took another bite.
Lila stared at her a little longer, and the corner of Cobie’s mouth curled up.
“You’re playing with me, aren’t you?”
Cobie lifted another forkful of espresso-drenched goodness to her lips. “If I am, no one will ever know.”
Lila’s chest tightened at the low timbre of the comment and the sultry slide of Cobie’s tongue around the fork as she placed it in her mouth. Both the action and the reaction were so thoroughly unexpected, she needed a second to compose herself.
“Do you really want the tiramisu?” Cobie finally asked.
Lila shook her head. “Why do I suddenly feel like that’s a loaded question?”
“Because it totally is.”
“You know, it’s not too late to split the check and tell the reporters we’re just friends out for a girls’ night,” Lila said without any bite behind the threat.
“Huh.” Cobie shrugged. “See, I was just starting to think this might be kind of fun, and we haven’t even gotten to the best part yet.”
“Are you sure the tiramisu isn’t the best part?” Lila asked sarcastically.
“Now that is also a loaded question, but one I’m not afraid to answer,” Cobie said, taking one more bite and making a show of savoring it. “As of right now, this tiramisu is the highlight of my evening. It’s delicious and satisfying and, most of all, real.”
Lila opened her mouth, but before she could speak, Cobie cut her off.
“But I read the schedule Stan sent over, and the biggest act of the night is yet to come. It has the potential to be delicious and satisfying as well.”
“But not real,” Lila said quickly.
“Well that’s up to you.”
“No, I think that’s up to the contract implicit in our agreement.”
“Nothing in the agreement says we have to spend the next six months one-upping each other,” Cobie reasoned.
“Says the woman who won’t share her dessert.”
“To the woman who won’t share a single genuine feeling.”
Lila rolled her eyes. “One does not need to share feelings to pull off a fauxmance.”
“That may be true with dudes, but if we’re going to convincingly play-act a lesbian relationship, we’re going to need so many feelings, and we’ll probably have to process them more times than even most lesbians would consider reasonable.”
Lila snorted but didn’t dare argue that particular point. “Nothing says those feelings have to be genuine, though.”
“Exactly. Just like no one says I have to share my dessert,” Cobie said emphatically. “But wouldn’t it be better if I did?”
“Oh, I see what you did there,” Lila said, running her spoon around the edge of her dessert bowl.
“And?”
Cobie’s dark eyes were soft and tempting as they watched her in a way no one had in a long time. Not with admiration or lust, not with envy or possessiveness. What Lila saw there was nothing more than interest.
“What do you say? I give you the last bite of tiramisu, and you tell me one honest thing about how you’re feeling.”
“Do I get to pick the thing or do you?”
“How about you tell me how you’re feeling about how we’re supposed to end the evening?”
The question wasn’t what she expected, and it took her a second to process. “The kiss?”
“Yes.”
“It’s just a kiss.”
Cobie scooped up the tiramisu and swiftly lifted it to her mouth.
“Wait,” Lila said quickly. “I told you how I felt.”
“Did you?” Cobie asked. “’Cause I didn’t hear a feeling statement there. Your first kiss with me, a woman, in front of, like, half the cameras in New York City.”
“What, you’ve never kissed anyone for show before?” Lila asked, not at all liking the emphasis Cobie was putting on the idea of a first time. She didn’t want to think of this kiss as anything different than what she’d always done. She certainly didn’t want to consider it another lost moment in a long line of opportunities she’d sold.
“Sure. Many times. Every movie I’ve ever made. In fa
ct, my first kiss ever was a screen kiss.”
“Really?” Lila asked, genuinely surprised once again. “Weren’t you, like, sixteen in your first movie?”
“Yes. I was a late bloomer. I didn’t tell anyone I’d never been kissed before. I tried to tell myself it would be good because it was my character’s first kiss, so it’d be like character acting, but really, I was embarrassed. And nervous. And I hated it. Whenever we did interviews for the film and people asked about the kiss, I felt nauseated all over again. I couldn’t believe anyone found that scene romantic.”
“But they did,” Lila said.
“They did.” Cobie sounded perplexed, even more than a decade after the fact.
“What about your first kiss with a woman?” Lila asked.
“Now that’s a different story.” Her dark eyes crinkled at the corners, and her smile grew dreamy. “One you don’t get to hear tonight, or maybe ever. Also, you’re stalling, and the tiramisu clock is tick-tocking away. You going to spill, or should I eat?”
“Okay, okay.” She didn’t even really care about the dessert anymore. She just couldn’t shake the image of Cobie as a teenager, nervous and embarrassed and being kissed for the first time under bright lights for the whole world to see. She wanted to hear the other story, the one that made Cobie smile, the one that would make Lila feel something other than a genuine connection to her.
“Okay, what? You’re ready to tell me how you feel about kissing a woman for the first time, in front of the paparazzi, in less than an hour? And I mean honestly this time or the tiramisu gets it.” Cobie opened her mouth wide for effect and lifted the fork once more.
“Fine.” Lila sighed in an attempt not to laugh. “I guess I feel mostly curious. Good enough?”
“Elaborate.” Cobie moved the fork away but didn’t drop it all the way to the plate.
“I’ve never kissed a woman before, and some of my friends have. And they act like it was a big deal for them. Lord knows the media is going to lose their minds over it or I wouldn’t be here. So I guess I’m interested to find out why.”
“You really don’t know why people will think your kissing me is a thing?” Cobie sounded mildly suspicious.
“You mean other than the fact that we’re both rich and famous and beautiful?” Lila tried the flip comment as a diversion, but Cobie only arched her eyebrows. “Well, I guess other than that, no. I’m not sure why it would be any different than my kissing a famous, beautiful, rich man. People are people. Some of them are talented, some of them are charismatic, some of them are jerks, some of them smell nice, some of them make me laugh, some of them are jerks.”
“You already said ‘jerks.’”
“A lot of them are jerks.”
Cobie nodded. “True.”
“But you seem nice enough. You’re polite when you’re not holding a dessert for ransom, and you’re attractive. I can’t figure out why your body parts should affect anything about how you kiss, but people seem to think it’ll be a thing, which makes me think it might be a thing. I don’t like other people knowing something I don’t, so I’m ready to find out for myself.”
Cobie smiled broadly and offered the dessert-laden fork across the table. Lila leaned forward and snatched it quickly with her mouth.
Flashbulbs went off in rapid succession outside the window, and Lila smiled around the fork as Cobie withdrew it slowly from her mouth. The bitterness of the espresso and the sweet cream blended together in her mouth, the perfect taste notes to accompany Cobie’s expression as the pure joy of her triumph was intruded upon by the hordes of gossip reporters outside.
“I guess that made for a compelling photo op,” she finally said.
“Indeed.” Lila dabbed her lips with a napkin and laid it on the table. “Papers across the country will spin wild stories about your seductive prowess tomorrow. It’s almost a shame none of them will know about the stellar negotiation skills and the hostage tactics you employed to get them the photo.”
“It’ll be our little secret, along with your complete capitulation to my will.”
Lila laughed outright. “Never mind. I take back my earlier curiosity. You’re just like the men. Give you an inch, and you take a mile. I think we’re ready for the check and the valet.”
“How forward of you, Ms. Wilder.” Cobie acted scandalized but signaled the waiter. “Are you really so ready for our kiss that you can’t wait another second?”
Lila fluttered her eyelashes. “Now you’ve finally figured me out. I’ve been waiting my whole life for a staged smooch from Cobie Galloway.”
Cobie grinned as she signed the check and added an exorbitant tip. “I get that a lot.”
Lila caught Malik’s eye. He rose from the table he’d secured next to the front door and whispered something to a restaurant employee, then nodded to her.
“Our signal?” Cobie asked.
“They’ll bring your car around for us. Malik will follow in mine.”
“Right. You drove here too. So many logistics to consider.”
“The only logistic you need to worry about is how you intend to get your lips on mine.” Lila rose and slipped into her coat.
“Yeah, actually, I’ve been thinking about that.”
“I’m sure you have.”
Cobie smiled but didn’t argue. “I think I need to use the restroom before we head out.”
“Nervous stomach?”
“Something like that, but women go to the bathroom in packs, so you should come too.”
“So many lesbian rules to learn,” Lila quipped as she fought a hint of annoyance at being pulled off-schedule once again. She supposed she’d rather follow Cobie to the private area behind the bar than stand awkwardly by the door alone.
Once they were fully out of view of all the other restaurant patrons, however, Cobie stopped abruptly and turned to face her.
“Ladies’ room is on the right,” Lila said, glancing at her watch.
“I know. I don’t really have to go.”
“Oh, my God, are you chickening out?”
“No,” Cobie said quickly. “Why? Are you?”
“No.”
“Good.”
“So . . .” Lila drew out the word.
“So I had my first kiss on screen, and it was terrible and stressful and I hated it.”
Lila’s chest tightened, but she kept her voice cool. “You already told me the story.”
“Right,” Cobie said, “but I just wanted to make sure you remembered I knew how that felt.”
Lila rolled her eyes. “Why?”
“So that someday, when you look back on this moment, you’ll know I did it because you deserve better.”
“Did what?”
Cobie caught Lila around the waist, pulled her close, and whispered, “This,” just before their lips met.
Lila gasped softly in shock, but the sound was smothered by the press of Cobie’s mouth against her own. Her initial surprise quickly gave way to the realization Cobie had once again gone off-script, and anger rose fast. She placed both hands flat against Cobie’s chest, intending to push her away, but before she did, the next set of sensations overtook her. Softness. Tenderness. The taste of espresso mingled with sweet cream. Despite Cobie’s initial boldness, the kiss itself was tentative and gentle, though not quite chaste. A heat burned there, not the kind to scorch or consume, but the kind you wanted to get closer to on a cold winter day. Her shoulders relaxed and her lips parted slightly, but Cobie didn’t push for more. She didn’t push at all. She merely sank into the sensations enveloping them. Then with one more gentle caress of her lips, she stood back and fluttered her dark eyes open once more.
Lila stared at her, a wave of emotion swirling to the whoosh of her rapid pulse. She struggled to regain her composure while making sense of her feelings of arousal and loss and disbelief and the desire for more. She didn’t like being caught off guard. She didn’t like surrendering control even for a second. She didn’t like the unexpected, and ev
erything about Cobie’s kiss had been unexpected. She’d clearly underestimated a great many things about her and this entire situation, and she didn’t like that either. And yet she couldn’t bring herself to dislike the kiss itself or the woman who’d delivered it, which proved a considerable problem.
“Lila?”
“Yes,” she said slowly.
“You okay?”
She nodded.
“Are you sure?”
“Why wouldn’t I be?” she asked coolly. “Because you went off script yet again? Because you kissed me without my permission? Because you assumed you had the right to make a decision for me based on your experiences instead of considering my own?”
“Um, when you put it that way . . . yeah.”
She gave an exasperated sigh. “I’m ready to go now.”
“Right,” Cobie said, a hint of sadness in her voice. “Back to work.”
“Back to work,” Lila echoed and turned on one high heel before waiting to see if Cobie would follow.
She had to follow her lead. Lila needed her to, and while that made her frustration level rise, she refused to lose her cool. Not over someone like Cobie. Not over a kiss. Not even over the disconcerting tingle of energy still coursing through her.
She was in control.
She would reestablish the power dynamic. She would take the lead next time.
Next time.
She didn’t even try to shake the thought away as Malik swung the restaurant door open wide and a burst of cold wind hit her in the face. There would be a next time. There would likely be many of them over the next few months, but none of them would be quite like the first time.
She’d decide later how she felt about that.
• • •
They rode in silence through the streets of New York. The car drove itself, but Cobie kept two hands lightly on the wheel and her eyes on the road. She hadn’t expected Lila to melt in her arms or even kiss her back, but she hadn’t expected the silent treatment afterward either. Then again, she didn’t really know what she’d expected. In that moment, she’d just wanted to do something good and thoughtful and sensitive. She knew they weren’t on a real date, but she’d enjoyed their time together, or at least parts of it. And she’d listened when Lila expressed her curiosity about kissing a woman. She understood better than most what that kind of exploration could feel like, and she didn’t want Lila to be robbed of the experience by a million flashbulbs.
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