“Which one?” Cobie asked, all argument drained from her voice.
Lila couldn’t answer, her mouth occupied with the important task of kissing Cobie once more. Instead, she pressed both hands flat against the tight black tank top, just above the subtle swell of her breasts, and pushed her toward the bedroom. The door swung open at the first bump from Cobie’s back, and Lila kicked it shut as she went by.
They made out all the way across the room, until Cobie collided with the bed and began to fumble with her own belt. Lila helped as best she could with her mouth and mind still fully engaged in other activities, but the buckles needed more attention than she could give them while intoxicated by Cobie’s skillful lips. With a little groan, she pulled away and focused her eyes on the belt. “When I made this thing, I didn’t give any thought to how hard it’d be to rip off you.”
Cobie laughed. “I can do it.”
“No.” She kissed her again quickly before sinking to her knees on the lush carpet. “Let me.”
Cobie’s breath sounded strangled as she stared down at her, and Lila thrilled at the knowledge that she wasn’t the only one struggling to function through the haze of lust surrounding them. She flipped open the belt buckles and pulled back the studded leather to reveal the button and zipper of the pants, then looking up long enough to lock eyes with Cobie, she undid them both quickly.
“Lila,” Cobie managed in a raspy whisper.
“Yes.” She hooked her fingers in the waistband, denim and leather both bending to her will as she pulled them down to reveal solid black boxer briefs.
“Come here.” Cobie slipped a hand gently under Lila’s chin and urged her up. “I need this dress off.”
Turning her around, Cobie wrapped an arm around Lila’s waist, flattening her splayed fingers across her stomach until Lila’s ass ground back against her. Cobie’s breath flared hot against her neck as she lowered the straps of her dress and followed them down her arms and over her hips until it fell to the floor.
Brushing her hair aside, Cobie kissed the nape of her neck and cupped Lila’s breasts in each of her hands. Massaging softly, she kissed her way up to Lila’s jaw before moving on to her earlobe. She sucked for a second as Lila rolled her head back, giving her better access until Cobie whispered, “This is what I was thinking about when I kissed you earlier. I was out of my mind with desire to see your dress on the floor and feel your naked body pressed against mine.”
“We’re not there yet,” Lila said, turning in her embrace. Clutching the scruff of Cobie’s tank top, she pulled it over her head before Cobie had a chance to catch up and help shed the briefs. Then both their hands were on Lila’s red lace thong, pushing and peeling until it fell on top of the dress. Turning around one more time, Lila bent nearly in half to unfasten her matching high heels.
Cobie clasped her hands on Lila’s hips and pulled her back fully into her, before growling, “Now you’re just teasing me.”
Lila laughed. “Maybe a little. Is it working?”
“Is it working?” Cobie asked. She answered by scooping Lila up, one strong arm behind her back, the other in the bend of her legs. “Let me show you how well it’s working.”
She laid Lila on the bed and settled her body over her, kissing a hot path between her breasts, over her stomach, and down one of her legs. Cradling Lila’s ankle in one hand, she used the other to unclasp the shoe before tossing it over her shoulder. She then did the same with the other stiletto, smiling down at her. “Better, Cinderella?”
“Infinitely,” Lila practically purred. “Now come back up here.”
“Yes, ma’am,” Cobie said without releasing Lila’s foot. She kissed the arch, the ankle, the calf, and then every few inches on her way back up.
“Now who’s teasing?” Lila asked as she reached her lips again.
“Not me,” Cobie said between kisses. “I’m very serious.”
“Yeah?”
Cobie stopped and stared down at her, those endless brown eyes full of questions. “I am serious. I want you, and not just right now. I’ve wanted you so much longer than I should have, and in so many more ways than I should.”
Lila nodded, completely understanding the sentiment even though it terrified her. Still, even the fear attempting to bubble up in her chest felt small and insignificant with Cobie holding her. It was as if Cobie’s bravery and better angels had summoned Lila’s. “I want you too. I want you so much I can’t think of anything else.”
“You don’t have to.” Cobie punctuated her words with a soft kiss. “Tell me what you want, and it’s yours.”
Lila didn’t have to think about that answer. “I want to make love to you.”
Cobie’s hips rocked forward as though her body needed to confirm what her mind hadn’t yet found the words for.
Lila used the momentary lapse to roll Cobie to her back. Trailing her fingers from collarbone to sternum, she circled one small, firm breast then the other in a lazy figure eight. “You’re so beautiful, so soft and strong at the same time.”
“Just like you,” Cobie murmured.
“I don’t know how you like to be touched, but I want to learn. I want to know how to do the things to you that you’ve done to me,” Lila said. She wanted to learn everything about Cobie. The thought should have been jarring, but she couldn’t process anything other than the amazing body before her.
“I like to be touched by you,” Cobie said, her voice low and raspy. “Where and how are secondary concerns.”
Easing herself up, she covered as much of Cobie’s body as she could with her own. She thrilled at the press and yield of her, skin and muscle, hot and sweet all at once. The fact that she’d never made love to a woman was immaterial, or at least secondary to the fact that she’d never made love to someone like Cobie. Someone open and beautiful, giving and patient, sexy and soothing. Maybe there wasn’t anyone else like Cobie.
She kissed along her neck, her confidence growing as Cobie lifted her chin, giving access to the pulse point at the base of her throat. The move was more than surrender. It was an expression of trust. Lila marveled at Cobie’s vulnerability, which only inspired more of her own. Completely stripped bare of so much more than her clothes, she kissed her way past the hollow of Cobie’s throat and down across her chest. Taking one taut nipple in her mouth, she circled it with her tongue, eliciting a low hum of approval from Cobie. The sound was so primal, so evocative, it sent a shot of electricity through Lila, and she repeated the move just to hear it again.
Lila replaced her mouth with her fingers, not wanting to break the contact she craved as she painted a hot path with her tongue to Cobie’s other breast. This one was already firm with anticipation, and she bit her lip, breath heavy as she savored the expectant tension. Cobie lifted up off the bed slightly, the small move a gentle request Lila had no desire to refuse. She answered with her lips, her tongue, her own desire.
Cobie drew her breath sharply, the sound adding melody to the bass beat of Lila’s own pulse in her ears. She played each note, or maybe they played her, as their bodies became both the composers and the instruments of the symphony they were writing together.
Lila flattened her palm and slid it across the subtle ridges of Cobie’s abs and over the soft rise and fall of her stomach. Pressing, caressing, fingertips and nails, the curve of her waist, the flare of her hips, Lila wanted to play every key. She closed her eyes and let her hands imprint every detail on her memory. Then easing lower, she followed the trail of heat to the center of Cobie’s need.
Both of them gasped, a soulful, surprising duet inspired by the physical manifestation of everything they’d run from for so long.
“Yes,” Cobie whispered as Lila sank into her more fully.
“Yes,” she echoed, circling, stroking, relishing the liquid confirmation of their rightness. A visceral score played between them, the sheen of sweat, the rock of hips, the rush of breath all cresting in a harmony she’d never known, or had she? Her body knew. Maybe her h
eart had too. Is that why she’d fought this so hard. The idea seemed such folly now.
Lila pushed fully inside her, two into one, bass and treble, heart and soul. Cobie’s arms wrapped around her back, skilled fingers playing their own urgent underscore.
“Stay here,” Cobie whispered, her voice raw with need. “Stay beside me.”
Was the request borne of immediate need or a more general desire? It didn’t matter. The only words to this song were yes. Yes, a thousand times, no matter how high the melody soared.
“Lila,” Cobie breathed in a rush, “please, Lila, don’t stop.”
She’d never heard such powerful lyrics. Cobie was both prophet and poet as she lifted her voice, this time joining the refrain Lila had begun the moment she’d kissed her. “Yes, yes, yes.”
They crested and fell. Cobie’s body contracted beneath her, holding her tightly, pulling her deeper. Lila marveled at her unfiltered beauty, eyes closed in ecstasy, body twisted in pleasure. The sight ripped her open, raw, shuddering, shivering. They concluded the song in a throaty cry, on one final chord shared between them before collapsing, but Lila knew those final notes would reverberate through her heart long after silence fell over their bodies.
Chapter Twelve
“You knew we could be like that, didn’t you?” Lila asked hours later as she nestled under Cobie’s arm and rested her head on her shoulder. Cobie had no idea what time it was but suspected sunrise would find them soon and still sleepless.
“I didn’t know exactly what we would be like,” Cobie said, but she admitted, “I knew we could be good though.”
“So good.” Lila hummed contentedly and snuggled closer.
The scent of orchid and passion flower filled Cobie’s senses and clung to her skin. “I think that’s why I resisted so hard. I suspected you might be like heroin. One hit could kill me, but it would never be enough.”
“I didn’t know,” Lila said dreamily. “I mean, I knew you held a sort of power over me, which was scary enough, but sex has never been like this for me. This was a first.”
Cobie smiled. “You’ve been so far ahead of me in so many ways. I like the idea of being your first at something.”
“That’s why you kissed me on our first date?”
“Maybe a little bit, but mostly I wanted to do right by you. First times matter. They set the expectations for everything that comes afterward. I wanted you to understand that what happened on the bigger stage wasn’t the sum total of you and me. I wanted you to look back at that moment and have at least one good, honest memory of your first kiss with a woman.”
“Because someone gave you that?”
Cobie smiled. “I think you figured that out tonight.”
“Talia,” Lila said, without a hint of the jealousy that had filled her voice hours ago. “How did you meet?”
“She wrote the script for my third movie. Or she wrote the book the script was based on and consulted on the script, but the studio did a total hack job on the story. She denies it, but I know she only stayed with the project to protect me.”
“Protect you?”
“I’d just turned eighteen. Finally street legal for all my male producers and directors and co-stars. What started as inappropriate jokes became uncomfortable conversations, which then turned into men twice my age pressing into my personal space and then worse, because suddenly without the law to protect me . . .” Cobie shuddered.
“You were fresh meat in a lion’s den.”
“But Talia became a lion tamer. Anytime someone got too close, she’d crack her whip and send them scattering. We spent so many nights in her trailer hanging out and talking. I told her about the boys and the bumbling and the shame of getting felt up on screen or off. She said it didn’t have to be that way, then slowly, over time, she showed me.”
“And you fell in love with her?”
“Yes,” Cobie said, not having it in her to deny the charge even all these years later.
“Are you still in love with her?”
“No.” The second answer came as fast and easy as the first. “But I’m indebted to her. She brought me out. She showed me who I am. She was kind and patient and caring. She saved me from more than just the skeezy Hollywood sharks. She saved me from years of pretending to be someone else or lying about myself and what I wanted. She saved me from thinking I had to compromise myself to fit someone else’s ideal.”
“I’m glad she was there for you.”
“Me too, but she paid a heavy price,” Cobie said sadly. “She’s a brilliant writer and at such a young age. She’s only a few years older than I am and was every bit as much a teen prodigy as you or I, but she made too many enemies trying to protect me. Because she kept some very powerful men from getting their hands on a body they felt entitled to, she got labeled hard to work with in the business. They called her a ballbuster and a dyke. Some of the men even defended themselves by accusing her of taking advantage of me. I think that hurt her more than anything. I think the strain of those allegations ultimately ran her away from Hollywood and everything associated with it.”
“Including you?”
“Yeah.” Cobie’s jaw twitched at the memory of so many long lonely nights after she’d left. “The relationship lasted only a few months. She said we were better as friends, and as usual, she was right, but I think she worried the business had turned her into someone else.”
“But where’s she been for the last eight years?”
“Hiding away in the mountains at first. Then slowly starting to write again. Vigilant is her first book back,” Cobie said, a hint of pride stirring in her chest again. “And it’s a pretty spectacular reentry to the world.”
“And you want a do-over, with you in the role of protector.”
“I’ve never quite thought of it in those terms before, but yes. Our positions have changed. I want to usher her safely through the shark-infested waters this time. I want to give her the space and the confidence to shine and succeed without having to compromise again.”
“And how does she feel about the sacrifices you’re making?”
Cobie shook her head. “I think she appreciates the gesture but isn’t really thrilled about the lengths I’ve gone to.”
“And by lengths you’ve gone to, you mean she’s not thrilled about me.”
Cobie sighed. “She’s not your biggest fan, but she doesn’t know you, not the real you. Not many people do.”
“No,” Lila said. “I like it that way. Real is risky. Real is hard to control, which I think is why I got so upset about the first kiss. It was too real. You were too real. I think I understood that from the very beginning. Even though I didn’t want to. Real equals dangerous.”
“See, I’ve always thought the opposite,” Cobie said as she noticed the first glow of sunlight peeking in around the edges of the curtains. “It’s the not knowing what’s real that scares me most. Especially with people. None of my first times with men were real, but I didn’t know that, so I was left confused, embarrassed, and unsteady. Then I started to expect embarrassment and confusion. I normalized all the wrong emotions. It wasn’t until I experienced the real thing that I knew what I’d been missing. Which goes back to our first kiss.”
Lila looked up at her and smiled playfully. “You wanted me to know what I’d been missing?”
Cobie laughed. “I wasn’t nearly that sure of myself. I merely suspected you had gotten used to being shortchanged by the people you dated. I wanted you to know that I knew you deserved better than you’d been demanding for yourself.”
Lila kissed her shoulder. “Most people think I’m already too demanding.”
“Don’t ever believe them,” Cobie said seriously once more. “No matter what else happens, you’ve seen now how good things can be. Don’t ever accept less.”
“You’re pretty smart, you know?” Lila said with a kiss to her cheek that sent Cobie’s heart fluttering again. “I’m sorry I didn’t realize that sooner too.”
�
�I didn’t give you a chance,” Cobie admitted. “I haven’t been very good at this charade. I’m sure I didn’t inspire much confidence.”
“Well you weren’t exactly thrilled with the arrangement early on, but you have always been very good when the rubber hits the road. Too good, sometimes. Remember the night in the club in Vegas?”
“The time when you almost ditched me in the middle of a scene?”
Lila laughed. “Yes, that’d be the one, but I wasn’t ditching you because you were bad. I ran because you were so good. If we’d stayed in the booth a second longer with your hands on me, I would have demanded you take me right then and there.”
A shiver of excitement raced along Cobie’s skin. “And if you’d have pushed a little harder in Toronto, I would’ve made love to you until the dawn burned all the darkness away.”
“No,” Lila protested. “I was a mess. You couldn’t have possibly found me sexy with my puffy eyes and stuffy nose. God, I’m so sorry, Cobie. I hate that you saw me break down.”
“Don’t.” Cobie kissed the top of her head. “I’m glad I was there.”
“I freaked you out. You pulled away.”
“Yes, but not for the reasons you think. I pulled away because of how much I felt for you. You cracked open my heart that night and crawled inside.” Cobie held her a little tighter. “I didn’t know what to do about that. I kept waiting for you to tell me what you needed, to give me some cues or a script, but you never did, and I floundered without you.”
“I’m sorry I didn’t talk to you. I didn’t know how. It’s not something many people know about. I wasn’t sure I wanted you to be one of them.”
The comment stung, even when delivered in a gently whispered tone, but she clamped her jaw shut against the urge to ask for more. This was more open than Lila had ever been with her, and she didn’t want to undo the progress they’d made.
“I told Malik what happened,” Lila said.
Cobie grimaced.
“It’s not like that. It wasn’t gossip.”
“I can’t imagine what he must have thought about me for bumbling through that.”
In Development Page 26