“She’s been gaining weight well. She’s very healthy.”
“So it seems. I really wouldn’t have anyway to gauge that, so I’ll take your word for it.”
“Do you help with your coworkers’ kinner, uh, children?”
“My what? Oh, you mean the other dancers. I see their kids sometimes. I don’t really help out with them. They have other babysitters if they need them.”
Rosanna almost asked who Kandi had lined up to care for Mollie but couldn’t bring herself to do so. She certainly wouldn’t know the people anyway, and it might be better if she didn’t know anything about them. That would only add to her fears.
“Ahhh! Oh! Oh my!”
Rosanna jumped up from the chair she’d just perched on. The empty rocking chair thumped crazily behind her. “What’s wrong?”
“Something feels warm, damp.” She yanked Mollie off her lap and held her out at arm’s length. “Eww! I think she just wet on me.” Kandi wrinkled her nose and looked totally disgusted. “How gross! Here, take her!”
The sudden movement and shrieking caused Mollie to let out a howl. Her arms and legs flailed, and she nearly elbowed Kandi’s chin. Rosanna gathered the frightened little girl to her in a fierce hug. She kissed the top of her head and tried to hide the smile that tugged at her lips. What a comical sight! A grown woman afraid of a leaky diaper! “I’ll go change her, unless you’d like the practice, Kandi.”
“No! No, thank you. You go right ahead.”
Rosanna bit her tongue and didn’t dare look at Paul. She could tell he, too, was struggling not to laugh. “I can change her right here in the cradle, and you can watch.”
“You really should give it a try, Kandi.” Sarah’s voice came from the doorway.
Rosanna glanced in her direction and couldn’t miss the crinkles surrounding her mamm’s eyes and the twitch of her lips. She obviously found the situation as comical as Rosanna did.
“That’s okay.” Kandi’s nose was still wrinkled.
“If you plan to care for Mollie, as your lawyer’s letter stated, you’ll have to change diapers. Mollie can’t very well do that for herself.” Sarah’s foot tapped on the floor.
“I-I’ll watch, then. It can’t be that hard, right?” Kandi used her hands to push herself off the chair, mumbling as she did so, “Maybe she’ll be potty trained early.”
Rosanna let the comment slide, but Sarah pounced on it. “Don’t count on that. They potty train at all different ages. They have to be ready.”
Kandi shrugged but kept quiet.
Rosanna laid Mollie in the cradle while she pulled diapers and wipes from underneath it. Immediately four little limbs batted and kicked.
“It must be a challenge to change a squirming baby. Is she always so rambunctious?”
“She’s stretching and working those little muscles.” Rosanna had the next diaper ready before unfastening the one Mollie wore. “You’re in luck, Kandi. She’s only wet. Do you want to try?”
“I’m good right here where I am.”
“Okay.” Rosanna talked to Mollie to distract her. She handed the little girl a small toy to hold while she captured the bicycling legs and expertly changed the diaper. “There. All done. She’s clean and dry. Do you want to pick her up?”
Kandi shrugged again and leaned over the cradle. She moved her hands one way and then another as if trying to decide how to best lift Mollie out of the cradle.
“She’s much stronger now. She can hold her head up and everything, so you don’t have to worry how to pick her up.” Rosanna couldn’t decide whether she should let Kandi figure out how to pick up the wiggling little girl for herself or simply pluck her from the cradle and hand her to her aenti. “I’m going to get rid of this diaper and wash my hands. I’ll be right back.”
Rosanna noticed Kandi’s look of distress. Sarah had already moved from the doorway or Rosanna would have somehow silently asked her opinion. But Mamm was right. If Kandi wanted custody of Mollie, she had to be able to properly care for her. Rosanna dashed back into the room in time to see Paul lift Mollie from the cradle, kiss her cheek, and hand her to Kandi. She couldn’t help but feel sorry for the woman. Kandi stood stiff as a statue, not even swaying as most people did when holding an infant. “You can sit with her, if you like.”
“I can’t stay much longer. I have to work tonight.”
“When do you sleep if you work at night?” Paul asked.
“I don’t work all night. I’m usually finished by one or two. I can’t go right to sleep, but I generally get into bed around three or so.”
“In the morning?”
Rosanna had to smile. Paul sounded horrified. She knew he was thinking he would be weaving his last few dreams of the night when Kandi was just going to bed. Who would keep Mollie all night, and how would Kandi care for her during the day if that’s when she slept?
“Well, if I had Mollie, I’d probably try to sleep for a little while when I got home. I’d get up when she did and take a nap when she took hers. That should work out fine.” When Mollie began to squirm to change positions, Kandi panicked. “Someone take her quick before I drop her! Quick!”
Rosanna rushed forward. “It’s okay.” She wasn’t sure if the reassurance was directed toward Kandi or Mollie or herself. She held out her arms as Mollie’s tiny hands reached for her. “You know, Kandi, you could always visit Mollie if you decide—”
“If I decided to give up the custody suit? No way, sister. This is my niece. She belongs with family.”
“But do you really want to care for a little one now at this point in your career?”
“Well, it certainly isn’t convenient, but I’ll figure it out.” Kandi spun around on those high-heeled boots and fled from the room. The front door banged behind her.
Rosanna stared openmouthed and patted Mollie’s back.
“She’d better figure out how to change a diaper, then,” Sarah called.
Rosanna laughed almost hysterically, releasing the tension that had mounted to an almost unbearable level.
“I’m sorry, Rosanna.” Paul left his chair in the corner and crossed the room to stand beside her. He tickled Mollie’s chin. “I know you wanted Kandi to figure out how to lift Mollie from the cradle, but I couldn’t stand it any longer. I was afraid she’d hover over the cradle until sunset trying to do such a simple thing. It was pitiful, and I couldn’t bear to watch.”
“That’s okay.” Rosanna giggled. “The whole situation could be comical if it wasn’t so serious.”
“It was rather comical anyway.” Sarah entered the room, drying her hands on a dish towel. “I don’t think that woman has a maternal bone in her body.” She clucked her tongue and shook her head. “I don’t think you’ll have a thing to worry about, Rosanna. Mollie will stay here with us.”
Chapter Thirty-Two
Every day Rosanna prayed her mamm was right. Apparently the wheels of the Englisch court system turned as slowly as molasses running uphill in February. Or maybe Kandi had decided not to pursue custody at all. At any rate, Rosanna had not received any new correspondence from either lawyers or Kandi. Still, she held her breath every time she plunged her hand into the big metal box to withdraw the day’s mail. And each evening she thanked Gott for allowing her to have Mollie for one more day.
Almost a month had passed since Kandi’s last visit. It was possible she had gotten an acting job out of the area. Would it be too much to hope that she had decided a boppli would hinder her career too much? Rosanna would hope anyway.
Spring had been whispering to Southern Maryland more and more. Daylight hung around a bit longer in the evening, and the morning frost disappeared. Even a few brave robins had returned to the area.
Mollie was becoming more and more interested in the world around her. She cooed and laughed at each new discovery. She figured out that rocking on her hands and knees didn’t get her anywhere, but that with a bit more effort, crawling could propel her to wherever she wanted to go. She even produced
two additional little teeth and showed real interest in everyone else’s plate at the table.
The fact that Paul celebrated Mollie’s achievements just as enthusiastically as she did would have made Rosanna fall in love with him if she hadn’t already done so. And that was another marvel. Her love for Paul had blossomed into such strong feelings, she now knew for sure he was the one for her.
On a particularly warm off-Sunday afternoon, Rosanna and Paul took Mollie outside to watch Katie, Sadie, and James play. Rosanna smiled and Mollie squealed as Paul chased Rosanna’s shrieking younger siblings around the front yard. The ground was still too cold to spread out a blanket for Mollie to play on, so she squirmed in Rosanna’s arms, acting as if she wanted to play with the others.
To amuse the little girl, Rosanna sat in the wooden swing suspended by a thick rope from a sturdy oak limb. She pushed off with her toes and sent the swing gently swaying. She had always loved swinging when she was younger. She would pump her legs and soar so high she believed her feet would brush the clouds. “It won’t be long before I can push you in the swing, ain’t so? And you’ll try to grab one of those puffy, white clouds up there just like I did.” Rosanna watched the billowy clouds slide across the bright blue sky for a moment and then looked back at Mollie’s sweet face.
She could look into that angelic face with the big blue eyes forever. The only thing that rivaled that pleasure was gazing into Paul’s ever-changing hazel eyes. Every night she thanked Gott for both of these people who meant the world to her. She also thanked Him for Jane’s courage and determination to seek a proper home for her infant. Jane’s selfless decision had forever altered Rosanna’s life and gave her the greatest gift she had received in her twenty-one years.
A flash of green caught Rosanna’s eye. She dug her toes into the dirt to bring the swing to an abrupt halt. The song she’d been singing to Mollie died on her lips. Her heart crawled halfway up her throat and sat there. After weeks without any word whatsoever, what was Kandi doing here now?
Paul must have seen the green car inching up the driveway, too. In an instant, he appeared beside Rosanna and Mollie. He dropped a hand to Rosanna’s shoulder and gave a gentle squeeze. “It will be all right. Hold on and I’ll give you a little push.”
Instead, Rosanna started to slide from the swing. “I should . . .”
“You should relax.” He patted her shoulder and tickled Mollie’s chin. “Relax. Act normal. You don’t have to be afraid.”
Somehow his words soothed her. Tension drained from Rosanna’s stiff shoulders. She wiggled on the wooden seat to get comfortable and held on as Paul had instructed. “Hang on, Mollie. We’re about to fly.”
Paul drew the swing back a little way and let it go. His gentle touch on her back whenever the swing reached him gave Rosanna the reassurance she so needed.
Katie and James continued to chase each other. Sadie ran to the swing, excited to show Mollie a pine cone she’d picked up at the edge of the yard. The eight-year-old chattered away as though the infant understood her every word. Paul stopped the swing’s motion so Mollie could look at the perfectly formed pine cone. Her little face lit up at Sadie’s excitement. Rosanna looked up at Paul, and they shared a smile, as any other parents did over their boppli’s actions.
“See, Mollie?” Sadie held the pine cone out for Mollie to touch. “This pine cone is perfect. Just like you.”
“What a nice thing to say, Sadie.” Rosanna reached out to pat her schweschder’s arm.
“I-I’m sorry to interrupt.”
For that brief, tender moment, Rosanna had forgotten about Kandi’s arrival. Reality crashed back on her. “H-hello, Kandi.”
“You all look so happy.”
“We are.” Rosanna straightened the tiny bonnet on Mollie’s head.
Katie and James ran over to stand near the swing, as if forming a shield around Mollie. Katie ventured close enough to plant a kiss on Mollie’s cheek.
“You all can go back to playing.” Rosanna wasn’t sure she wanted her younger siblings to witness whatever Kandi had come to say. She didn’t want to hear Kandi’s words, either. James, Katie, and Sadie reluctantly drifted away.
“I’m going to look for more pine cones to show Mollie.” Sadie trotted back to drop her pine cone into Mollie’s lap before running to catch up with James and Katie.
“I have a feeling they’re always attentive to Mollie, that this isn’t just a show for me.” Kandi nodded toward the kinner searching the edge of the yard for more treasures.
“They are sincere,” Rosanna replied. “I don’t think they know how to be otherwise. And they dote on Mollie.”
“I figured.” Kandi twirled a strand of brittle-looking hair around an index finger. The nail was violet today instead of bright red.
“We haven’t heard from you in a while.” Rosanna hoped that didn’t sound judgmental. She hadn’t meant to criticize.
“Yeah, well, I’ve been busy.” Kandi twisted the hair tighter. “I got a part in a play.” Kandi’s eyes sparkled, and her whole face brightened, even through the layers of makeup. “It’s a big part, too, almost the lead.”
“Congratulations. You must be so excited.” Rosanna thought those were the appropriate remarks to make.
“I am. It’s what I’ve always wanted. A dream come true. It’s one step closer to making it big.”
“I-I’m happy for you, then.” Rosanna had never been to a play other than the Christmas reenactments at school. She couldn’t begin to imagine what it would be like to prance around on a stage with hundreds of strangers gawking at you.
“Thanks.”
The silence that filled the air caused no small amount of trepidation. Was Kandi about to say she had arranged a babysitter and was ready to take Mollie? Rosanna hadn’t received any legal correspondence and hadn’t had any visits from Social Services or whoever handled such matters.
Kandi coughed and looked toward the laughing kinner picking up and discarding pine cones. Rosanna couldn’t help but notice the brief sad expression that raced across Kandi’s face. Was she about to say words Rosanna didn’t want to hear? Kandi coughed again and cleared her throat.
“Would you like something to drink?”
“No thanks. I’m good.” She twiddled that same poor lock of hair and looked at Mollie, who was completely fascinated by Sadie’s gift. A tiny smile tugged at Kandi’s lips. “She is happy here, isn’t she?”
“She’s a very happy little girl. She wakes up in a pleasant mood and doesn’t fuss or cry much at all. She got a little cranky when she cut her first couple of teeth but was nowhere near as fussy as Katie was when she was cutting her first one.” Rosanna clamped her lips together. She was rambling, but talking about Mollie came easily, and it delayed hearing whatever Kandi planned to say.
“I can tell she’s loved. By all of you.”
“That’s for sure.”
“And she loves you, too. I can tell.”
Rosanna hoped so but hadn’t really thought about that. Didn’t all kinner love their parents?
“Do you want to hold her?” Rosanna didn’t want to relinquish Mollie for even a moment but felt compelled to make the offer.
“Rosanna, I need to tell you something.” Kandi looked down at her pointy-toed black boots.
Here it comes! Rosanna braced herself for bad news. Her grip on Mollie tightened. Her heartbeat pounded like thunder in her ears. If she hadn’t been holding Mollie, she’d have clapped her hands over her ears like she had when she was little to block out Tobias’ teasing. Paul must have sensed her rising panic. He moved closer and touched her shoulder as if he could transfer courage to her.
Rosanna willed Kandi to look at her and to deliver her news. Why was Kandi drawing this out? Rosanna needed to hear the words so she could begin to deal with the pain.
After what seemed like eons, Kandi lifted her eyes from her boots and looked at Mollie. When she shifted her gaze to Rosanna, Rosanna was surprised to see tears in the woman’s ey
es. Did she feel that bad about tearing Mollie away from the only family she’d known?
“Rosanna?” Kandi’s voice cracked. She cleared her throat and tried again. “I’ve decided not to pursue custody.”
“Excuse me? I don’t think I heard you correctly.”
“I’m sure you did.”
“Wh-why?”
“I thought I should be responsible for my sister’s child. I wasn’t there for Jane, so I thought I could make amends by taking her child.” Kandi sighed deep and loud. “Do you know I sometimes resented Jane when we were kids? When she was sick, she took all of our mother’s attention. I felt like Mom had no time for me.”
“I’m sorry.” Rosanna had an urge to comfort the other woman.
Kandi waved her hand and sniffed. “Oh, it’s okay now. I understand. I know mothers love all their children. I’m pretty sure I could offer Mollie love, but I could never take care of her properly and live the kind of life I lead. I’ve worked hard to reach my dreams, and though I’m sure it sounds selfish, I don’t want to give them up. Being raised by babysitters would be worse than my childhood with a preoccupied mother.”
Mollie squirmed and Paul silently lifted her from Rosanna’s arms. He bounced her and whispered to Mollie but didn’t stray far away from Rosanna.
“You have a good man there.” Kandi nodded toward Paul.
“Jah, I do.”
“You are both so good with Mollie. And you’re good for her, too. I can see how much you love each other and Mollie.”
Rosanna knew her cheeks glowed. She smiled but couldn’t force out any comment. Her brain grappled with Kandi’s words. Was she really going to drop the whole lawsuit? Her attention snapped back to Kandi.
“Jane was right. She picked the best person to raise her baby.” Kandi ran a finger under each eye. She sniffed again. “I thought a baby belonged with her own family. I thought she needed to be raised in the same world as her family. Jane was a lot smarter. She saw the love, faith, and stability in your world, in your family. Jane picked the right mother for her baby.” Kandi’s shoulders slumped. Her gaze returned to the ground.
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