“He’s the town’s potential savior. Of course I’m going to be a tad more amenable towards the man.”
“I might have pushed my luck a bit. After our “brush up”, I probably screwed our chances of getting a penny out of him, let alone a couple of million to convert one of the warehouses in town into a large scale bakery and distribution hub.”
“Ye of little faith. Positive thinking, Lexi, that’s what's going to win the day.” Vee moaned as she knocked back a gulp of the aromatic wine. “Oh lord, this is a lovely drop. And there are four more cases of it in the basement. Best way to spend a Friday night, don’t you think?”
“Gmphf, negative. A steel-hard length of thick, manly flesh crowned with a taut, bulbous knob probing my loins for an entire weekend of hedonism would be much better. I’ve got a serious itch dying to be scratched?”
“You and me both, girlfriend.” She propped a handful of crisps into her mouth and mumbled as she chewed. “We’re pathetic, you know. Thirty-year-old spinsters with a love life as faded as the paint on this roof.”
“At least our sex life has a little more color.” Her smile slipped as she recalled just how saturated it had been when she was with Max. Nowadays it was limited to hot but disconnected sex with guys who were more friends than lovers. “Not that it makes up for the companionship we seek in between the hot salami we get off on a couple of times a month.”
“Or the explosive kind of sex when it’s about more than feeding the lust of the flesh.”
“True. Sex without emotion involved is just that— satisfying but empty and just— sex for the sake of having a proper climax with a hard cock inside you.”
“Ugh, we are truly pathetic.”
Lexi’s smile was sad. “The truth is we won’t find what we’re looking for in a man in Williamsburg. We know all the available men here and we both know there isn’t one that would be a suitable candidate as a possible happy ever after kinda guy.”
Vee looked at her sideways. “Would you?”
“Would I what?” Her gaze followed the crimson vortex of wine as it swelled higher with each successive twirl of the glass. Loneliness was an ambush predator that looked up from the depths while on the surface, one laughed and relaxed unaware with friends. That kind of loneliness, of the heart, was all consuming, crying out as it yearned to love and be loved in return. That was dragging her under, making her feel like she was wasting her life away in a town where she had nowhere to go. Even if she got money to fulfill her dream, it wouldn’t change anything. She’d still be alone, with no one to hold her at night, to offer her the happily-ever-after proverbial home with a white picket fence and kids.
More often than not, she’d wondered if it was worth staying for no other reason than to keep her grandmother’s legacy as a baker alive in this town.
“Consider leaving town and setting up in Cincinnati, for example?”
Lexi glanced at Vee in surprise. There was no denying the longing in her voice. It seemed they both had been keeping their feelings secret from each other. Like her, Vee also searched for what they couldn’t find in the small town of Williamsburg— love and happiness.
“I’d be lying if I didn’t admit I’ve been thinking a lot about it over the past two years.”
“But?”
“I don’t know really. Maybe because I feel an obligation towards Gram to keep her legacy alive. To immortalize the Dutton name.”
“Why? She’s been dead over six years. Do you honestly think she would’ve wanted you to stay while you dream of a bigger future? She knew you had more ambition than what Williamsburg had to offer.”
“Maybe, but it had been her dream to expand and it’s rubbed off on me. I want it more than I ever thought possible.”
“I can understand that but your Gram never said expanding meant you had to live your life out here. She always said you were destined for bigger things, remember? How did she word it again?”
“Live your dreams, Lexi. Dreams are meant to entice our hearts to reach out to the sky. Dream big… never let life hold you back.”
Her eyes widened as she listened to the words flow back inside her mind.
“Exactly! If that’s not giving you the key to go out and explore what the world out there offers, I don’t know what is.”
“And you? If I garner the confidence to spread my wings and move LDD to the big city, will you go with me?”
“In a heartbeat.”
“Well, that deserves opening another bottle of wine!”
Their laughter was interrupted by the doorbell ringing.
“Did you invite anyone to join us?” Lexi asked as she walked to open the door.
“Nope, but you should know by now people around here don’t wait for invitations.”
“You’ve got a— what the hell are you doing here?”
Lexi was a chatterbox by nature, which meant she was hardly ever dumbfounded. To catch herself gaping silently at the man on her doorstep was enough to trigger Vee’s curiosity to follow her.
“Of course it’s you. I don’t know of anyone else who can shut Lexi up, even if only for a short period,” she said with a grimace as she stopped next to Lexi.
“Very funny,” Lexi grumbled but she refused to budge. It might be a shock to find Max Turner outside her door but that didn’t mean she was stupid enough to invite him in. He had a surprise coming if he thought she was the same star-struck woman who couldn’t resist him five years ago. She was older and wiser and refused to allow her libido to take charge of her common sense.
A libido that completely ignored the frantic orders from her brain to behave, to ignore how sexy and totally edible he looked in a pair of jeans and a blue checkered shirt. No, instead it portrayed itself in a flush of heat that settled low in her belly with a trickle of wetness between her thighs.
“Correct me if I’m wrong but wasn’t it you who invited me over for more of a taste of your, how did you word it again? Ah, yes, your sticky, tart apple pie.” His smile was the personification of wicked devilry. “Well, I’m here and I’m ready to collect.”
“At eight o’clock on a Friday night?” She pressed her lips together at the squeak that escaped from her mouth; in complete contradiction to how she wanted to sound— confident, unconcerned, and sexy.
No! There is no mention of sex in this equation, Lexi Dutton. Get your head out of the damn man’s pants! You don’t like him anymore, remember?
“From what I recall you were quite adamant that there’s a time frame attached to the… er… tasting. You know me, Lexi, I’m a man who takes immediate action when the incentive offered is enticing enough.”
“Five days. I said five days.”
“Contrary to your beliefs, I have a very busy schedule and this is the only time I have available to accommodate you.” One eyebrow jutted into a question mark. “Well? Are you going to invite me in, or do I go back to the city? Before you answer,” he stopped her as she immediately opened her mouth to send him back to his gilded glass and steel cage. “If I leave now, there will be no discussion forthcoming… ever.”
His smile could’ve come from Hades himself which taunted Lexi to act on impulse. She had to rein in the desire to send him to blazes but the heated message in her eyes did just that.
“So, what’s it going to be?” he drawled succinctly.
“Damn irritating asshole,” she mumbled under her breath but had no recourse but to step back and invite him in. “Well? Do I need to carry you over the threshold?” she snapped when he didn’t move.
“Such eloquence,” he mocked as he walked past her, planting a surprising peck on Vee’s cheek. “Good to see you too, Vee.”
“As if,” she snickered, too surprised to be her usual snarky self towards him. “Well, that’s my cue to leave.”
“No! You’re not leaving me alone with that man.” Lexi clutched at her arm, suddenly wary of a face-off with the man who had held her heart in his hands and crushed it. “Please, Vee. You can’t leave.”
“I’m afraid the discussion is between you and him.” She leaned in and whispered, “You have a past that needs to be resolved if you wish to clinch a deal with him. You know that as well as I do.”
She was right of course but it didn’t mean Lexi liked it. It took a couple of moments to gather her strength once Vee left before she walked into the den where Max awaited her pleasure.
No! My presence. He’s waiting for my presence! Ugh, I’m so screwed.
Chapter 5
In the months after Max had broken her heart, she realized that she had to continue to move forward, to evolve and adapt to a world in which she now found herself alone and that meant keeping the fire that burned inside her fueled and stoked. Regardless of personal setbacks, she felt compelled to try to remake her world into a fairer place while seeking peace through a path of least resistance. With maturity came wisdom where she had learned how to use that fire to control the spread of an invasive negativity that threatened the growth for a greater good.
During that period she’d believed she’d never find herself again. That the pain of his leaving so abruptly would never fade. It was in these challenging times that a person could choose to rise like a phoenix and emerge from the ashes, as a stronger, more confident woman— not only in life and her career but in herself and her needs. One who wasn’t scared of her own sexuality and desires.
“If you’re only here to appease your curiosity about me, that I actually survived you dumping me, let me warn you right off the bat. I’m not going to be your plaything. I’m interested in a business venture with your company. Nothing more, nothing less.”
“Strange that you feel the need to give me a sermon on such a topic, especially since you were the one who sprouted all those hidden invitations this morning.”
“It was a sales pitch and I’m sure you’re smart enough to understand that.” She squared her shoulders. “I’m not going to become your latest conquest, Max. If that’s why you’re here, you can leave.”
“You’re not exactly the kind of woman men see as a brief conquest, Lexi, anything but.”
“I guess I’m safe then.” She held out the bottle of wine. “Can I offer you a glass?”
“Is it the same blend you used to sell in the past?”
“Of course. I always support the local farmers.”
“Then I’ll definitely have some.” He waited until he took the first sip before he looked at her. “Care to explain your last remark? About being safe.”
“C’mon, Max. We might be a small country community miles from the city but we read the tabloids. Apparently, you’ve become quite the Casanova. From what I’ve heard, you’re getting more tail than Sinatra. It’s a wonder you have any time for business.” Her lips compressed. “I guess, in saying that, it’s a miracle we even lasted six months.”
Max stared at her for long moments. “I hurt you and for that I’m more sorry than I could ever say.”
“It doesn’t matter anymore. It’s been years.”
“It matters, Lexi, because I fucked up by not explaining before I left.” His all but inscrutable expression was marred by a hint of sadness in his eyes that caught her attention.
“Forget it. I did.”
Like hell you did. You’d like nothing more than to find a way to make him hurt as much as you did.
Maybe so but I’m bigger than that. Lexi hid behind the facade of her terse soliloquy. It was meant to wound but instead showed itself for what it was— an impulsive display of false bravado— escalate the hurt beyond repair.
“Did you?”
Lexi avoided his eyes as she pulled herself upright. She refused to admit how she’d soaked up all information about him over the years. Of course, she’d used the excuse that it had been to prove to herself that she was over him; that he meant nothing to her. All of that had evaporated like mist burned off by the sun the moment she stared into his eyes. She swallowed a groan as she realized she’d just contradicted her earlier thoughts. She wasn’t over him. She doubted that she’d ever be. Upon further thought, it turned out that she was just like her grandmother. The Dutton women were cursed with falling in love only once and if it was their true love, that was it for them.
No! It can’t be true. I can't still be in love with him.
“What are you doing here, Max? And don’t give me the same bullshit as earlier. I’m not an idiot.”
“You know I have one rule that I never break in business.”
“Ah, of course. You never mix business with pleasure.”
No matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t keep the disappointment from her voice. The message was clear. If he decided to invest in her company, there would be nothing more than a business partnership between them. She didn’t know whether she was happy about the possibility that he was considering listening to her proposal at least or sad that he as much as told her he had no interest in her as a woman.
“If, and please understand that my being here is in no way a commitment that it would happen, I decide to offer you my assistance, we have to clear up the past.”
“It’s been five years, Max and as you said, it’s in the past. Why don’t we just leave it there?”
“Because your attitude towards me sends a different message.” He got up to fill his glass and poured her another.
“Don’t flatter yourself. I have no interest in you other than professionally.”
“Don’t get your panties in a knot, Lexi. I wasn’t referring to anything sexual. It’s obvious that you resent me. It’s there in your eyes and the way you have to force yourself to be polite.
Yes, because if I’m not I would pound on you and fuck your brains out.
Oh lord! Get a grip woman. She felt her cheeks infuse with color at the salaciousness of her thoughts. If he knew how hard she had to fight to keep her hands off him, he wouldn’t be all that high and mighty about appearing to know what she was feeling.
“I guess you have some advice to offer?” she said with a tight smile.
“If we are to move forward with a business endeavor, you have to let go of the past— we both do. Resenting me won’t mix well and in the end will be toxic to any professional relationship we might form. My grandfather used to say that looking at today through the eyes of the past will make you blind to the opportunities the present offers.”
Lexi knew he was right. If only it was as easy as that. It’s been five years and no matter how hard she had tried; she could never let go of the past and the memories they’d built into their short but highly volatile six month relationship. She’d lost her heart to him, almost from the start and it was the one thing she’d never been able to let go of. She frowned as she registered what he’d said.
“You said your grandfather used to say?”
His eyes turned dark. “That’s why I left that morning. I received a call that he’d had a heart attack; that I had to get to the hospital to say goodbye.” He exhaled slowly, as if he needed the time to gather his thoughts. “He brought me up from when I was four-years old. It was such a shock, I didn’t… I guess my mind went blank and I just left. He died within thirty minutes of my arrival. I was shattered and buried myself in work. It was months later before I found myself again and realized what I had done to you.” He shrugged. “But, you already know that, since you refused to take any of the calls I made then to try and explain.”
“What calls? I never received any messages and you sure as hell didn’t leave any on my cell phone.”
“I phoned the bakery since the only thing I received was a provider message that the cell phone number didn’t exist.”
“You phoned? My cell… my contract had expired and since I forgot to renew it, I lost my number. I wasn’t paying much attention at the time.” Lexi leaned forward. “You phoned?”
“Four times to be exact.” He shook his head. “I suppose I can’t blame Vee for keeping me away from you. She has always been your protector.”
Lexi stared at him, doing her bes
t to come to terms that he had attempted to get hold of her and explain.
“You couldn’t have wanted to set things right too much.”
“Lexi—”
“If you did, you could’ve gotten in your car and drove here or if time was an issue, on your company chopper. It wouldn’t have taken more than two hours at the most out of your day, less even.”
Max couldn’t deny any of what she’d said but truth be told, he hadn’t wanted to come face-to-face with her. He knew if he did, he’d be too tempted to rekindle their relationship and it was the one thing he couldn’t afford. All his time was concentrated on achieving his business goals. There hadn’t been any room for love in his life anymore.
“If you had managed to get hold of me,” she hesitated briefly, “would you have come back? Asked me to—”
“No.” His expression was stern. “I changed, Lexi. Work was all that mattered. My grandfather expected me to take the firm to greater heights and that was all I could focus on at the time.” He smiled wryly. “Still is. I guess I’ve become a workaholic.”
“That’s not very healthy, you know. One should have balance in life.”
“I haven’t turned into a monk. I have more than enough entertainment to balance my life.”
“I wasn’t referring to the mindless sex you’ve become known for, Max. It’s sad that it’s all you believe you need to find balance.”
“I don’t need to be lectured about my sex life, Lexi. It’s the way humans interact and connect. I’m relatively sure you haven’t been celibate for the past five years either. You were too much of a sensualist to make me believe that.”
“I never claimed anything different.” Lexi got up and took his glass. “Very well. As you said, it’s time to let go of the past and look to the future. I am truly sorry you lost your grandfather, especially since it was so unexpected. I know how devastating that can be. My Gram left the same way.” She flashed him a stiff smile. “That said, it seems your purpose for coming here has been achieved and you should leave.” She walked to the kitchen and placed the glasses in the dishwasher.
Eat Your Heart Out: A Romance Charity Anthology Page 17