by Lexi Wilson
But what the hell am I supposed to do? Just pretend like she’s not here? I’m going to see her on campus; I already know that. Maybe I’m just going to have to tell her what the policy of the school is, and we can leave it at that. It’s not her, it’s me.
But fuck. I want her. I want her naked and in my bed. Why the fuck do they have to have such a stupid policy?
I set another large volume on my bookshelf a little too harshly and sighed. I knew why they had that policy. There were plenty of teachers out there who would be more than happy to give their students a break for the mere fact they were sleeping together.
I wasn’t that way, but that didn’t change the policy, and it didn’t change the outcome for me or Zia. It was what it was, and I just had to deal with it. I would see her in the halls, or…
“Maybe,” I said out loud as I sat down at my desk with a list of the students I would be having in class with me that semester. I ran through the list, scanning each name quickly until my eyes fell on Zia’s.
“Of course you are,” I said to myself. I wasn’t sure if I was happy or disappointed at the fact I was going to have her in my class. It would make it easier to explain to her why I had ghosted her. But on the other hand, I was now going to have to spend the semester with her in my class several times per week.
She’d be watching me, giving me her undivided attention. She would drink in my knowledge and hope to God she did well on my quizzes. Worse than that, she was likely going to get a boyfriend. A woman with her beauty wasn’t likely going to stay single for long in this place, and I was going to have to watch – or at least hear – about it.
Why the hell am I even thinking about her in the first place? I can see without a shadow of a doubt that she’s going to be in my class. There’s no arguing that now, which means I can’t even try to act like I didn’t know she was a student here.
That might have been my only chance to get her to date me. I could have admitted that she told me she was a student, but I figured she was going to another university. There were plenty in Chicago, after all. Of course it was shaky. No one was likely to believe I hadn’t asked her where she went.
But it would have been something I could have dealt with if it ever became an issue. With her in my class, however, there was no way around it. She was attending this university, and I was a professor at this university. It was straightforward, and there was no denying the fact she was under me.
Perhaps not in the way I wanted her to be under me, but still. The best I can do is let it go and focus on getting through the semester. Focus on getting another woman who I can date without having to worry about what the board thinks.
Pfft. Fat chance. With her on my mind, I’m not going to want to give another woman a second glance. Why does life have consistently have to fuck me over? What did I do to deserve this? Why can’t I for once find something that makes me happy and stick with it?
“Professor!”
The word cut sharply through the air and I nearly dropped the list. Looking up, I immediately recognized one of my coworkers, Clara, standing at the door.
“Yes?” I asked, trying to recover my cool after she had so clearly seen that she had startled me. But she was already chuckling with her hand over her mouth, clearly trying to make it appear as though she wasn’t laughing at me.
“I was just wondering if you wanted to grab lunch or maybe a cup of coffee when you have the chance?” she asked. “I’m already set up in my office, and I can see you’re about done here, though you are clearly deep in thought about something. May I ask what’s on your mind?”
“First of all, thank you for the invitation, but I’m afraid I’m going to be stuck here for most of the afternoon,” I said. “And I guess you could just say I’ve got the jitters starting at a new university, that’s all.”
“Well, I would think someone as handsome and capable as you would be used to traveling from school to school,” she said. “If you like, I can go grab you something and bring it back here for you to enjoy. I don’t mind sharing lunch in an office. I’ve done it plenty of times myself.”
“Again, that’s very kind,” I said, doing my best to make it appear as though I was busier than I really was. “But as you can see, there’s still a lot for me to do in here, and I’m going to have to really decide where I want things to go so I can get through this semester without losing my mind. You know how it is when you go from a smaller school to a bigger one.”
“I do,” she said with a nod. “I transferred here when I was barely out of my second semester at my first university. I was terrified I would screw it up.”
“Well, let’s not jinx me,” I said. “I’ll see you around.”
“Okay, let me know if you change your mind about that cup of coffee,” she said as she walked away. I sighed once more. She was middle-aged and had taken a liking to me since the first day I walked through the doors of the office.
She wasn’t at all shy about hitting on me, which made it uncomfortable for me. I would be willing to tell her that I didn’t date coworkers, but I didn’t think it would help, and it only complicated the way things were with Zia even more.
Well, the way things could be, anyway. I couldn’t act high and mighty telling another coworker that I didn’t do such things, then go against policy and date one of the students. That would be hypocritical at best, and it would condemn me at worst if it were to go in front of the board.
Why am I even thinking things like that? It’s not going to go in front of the board because it’s not going to happen. It doesn’t matter what I thought of her or the fact she is so fucking hot. She is a student here, and I’m the teacher; that’s the end of it.
I’m just going to have to keep my thoughts to myself and my dick in my pants. With both of them. I’m not going to tell Clara anything official unless she keeps this up, then I’m just going to have to be truthful with her.
With Zia, perhaps when she sees that I’m the professor she’ll back off. Maybe I’m not going to have to tell her anything and we can just let it go with mutual understanding. That would be nice. Shit. Life is never that easy for me. But Clara was right. Coffee does sound good, and I would rather not be here when she gets back from getting her lunch.
I can make up some excuse tomorrow as to why I left. Right now, I need to get out of here and go home – and find another coffee shop along the way.
I set aside a few more things before locking the door to my office and headed down the hall. I wasn’t sure where I would go to get coffee, I just knew that I wasn’t going to be able to see Zia. Not knowing that she was going to be in my class on top of everything else.
But it seemed that once I was outside the school, my legs had a mind of their own. I meant to head in the opposite direction from the way I went, and before I could even thinking clearly to myself, I was walking through the door to the coffee shop.
Sure enough, Zia was at the counter. She was serving a customer as I walked in, but she happened to look over at the door as I entered. Without thinking, I flashed her a smile, causing her to stop in the middle of what she was doing. My heart skipped a beat at the sight of how beautiful she was, and I knew I was in trouble.
I knew I shouldn’t have come there, but I had anyway.
And now I wasn’t going to leave.
Chapter 7
Zia
“You know the policy. He’s free to hang out here as long as he wants, and he doesn’t have to make a purchase for that right.” I rolled my eyes. “Do you really want to get management involved over this?”
Brad shrugged. “I just think anyone who’s going to have the guts to hang out at a restaurant all day ought to have the courtesy to pay for something while they’re here.”
“Well, that’s something you can take up with management. You know we’re in competition with some of the bigger chains, and they offer free wifi and all kinds of services to their patrons without having them buy anything. If we’re going to keep up with them, we�
��re going to have to do the same,” I said.
“Whatever,” he replied shortly. “But if you get your ass reamed because of this, don’t come crying to me.”
“Trust me, you are the last person on Earth I would go crying to for any reason,” I told him. “Now why don’t you do us both a favor and clean out the syrup pumps?”
“Just because you’ve been here a week longer than me doesn’t mean you’re the boss,” he grumbled, but I ignored him. I wasn’t going to get drawn into any arguments with him, especially when it came to who was in charge.
Of course we all knew Miss Jean was the one who called all the shots. But she wasn’t often working this time of day, and I felt comfortable enough to tell Brad how I felt about letting Josiah hang out at the coffee shop without having paid for anything.
Sure, Brad didn’t know the very brief history I had with Josiah, and I wasn’t going to tell him, either. As far as I was concerned, if he wanted to have a seat and read the newspaper for the afternoon, that was fine with me. The fact of the matter was that I was looking for a chance to get to talk to him, and the only way I could see that happening for sure was for me to be able to catch him before he left.
He wasn’t answering my text messages, and he hadn’t called. I wasn’t one to be overly traditional in how I handled things, but I felt he should at least call me after the walk we had the other day. I thought we had really connected, and it hurt my feelings to know he just ghosted me.
So I let the shift wear on. We were busy enough to keep Brad happy and not overly concerned with what Josiah was doing over in his corner with the newspapers, but at the same time, I wasn’t too busy to ignore him entirely.
He didn’t say a word to me when he walked into the shop, despite the fact he gave me one of his flashy grins. On the other hand, I had caught him staring at me more than once. This look on his face was hard for me to read, though I got the impression he was checking me out.
Of course, that didn’t make much sense to me either with the fact that he had all but abandoned me. Now, he was going to show up at my work and watch? I knew I had to talk to him, or I wasn’t going to get anywhere. He would drive me crazy if I let him, and I wasn’t going to let that happen.
Finally, the last of the customers left the shop. Well, the second to last anyway. And, with Brad busy in the back of the store cleaning out the syrup containers, I saw my chance to be able to talk to Josiah without being interrupted. I wasn’t going to flirt with him, and I really didn’t want to talk to him in front of Brad, so it was now or never.
We were getting on toward closing time, and I didn’t want Josiah to leave without having the chance to talk to him first. I had to have answers, even if he was going to tell me that he didn’t want to see me again. I wanted closure, and while I hoped that it wasn’t the end of what we had going, I wasn’t going to just walk away from it without at least being able to talk to him about what happened first.
“Hey,” I said as I wiped down the tables. I was getting closer and closer to his table, but I hadn’t said anything until I felt close enough to talk to him without having to raise my voice.
“Hey,” he said. “Busy night?”
“It wasn’t too bad,” I said. “I think we did alright with the tips, and since I’m working with just one other barista, we should get a pretty good bit to take home with us.”
“That’s good. I hear you don’t make much by the hour working in places like this,” Josiah said.
“We could make more, that’s for sure,” I laughed. “But we get by well enough. At least I do. I mean, I try not to ask my parents for too much help, but I have a feeling they would step in if I ever were to need it.”
“First time out on your own I take it?” Josiah asked, and I felt myself blush. I was surprised we hadn’t touched on that when we were talking the other day, but it hadn’t come up, and Kira had called and interrupted the conversation before I was able to really dive into what he did for a living.
“Yeah, but I’m managing,” I said quickly. “I mean, what other choice do you have when you move to the big city and are determined to make it when you have no idea what you’re doing?”
Josiah laughed. “You remind me of how I was when I left my parents’ house. A head full of dreams and ready to change the world.”
“You never told me the other day what it is you do for a living,” I said. “I was going to get into that but my roommate called.”
“I hope she wasn’t too worried about you being out with a stranger,” he teased.
“No,” I said. “She was just wondering where I was. It’s not like me to not head home right after work. I guess that comes with the fact I’m trying to be responsible here.”
“I’m glad you took the time to meet with me,” Josiah said.
“Then can I ask you something?” I asked.
“You just did,” he said.
“I’m serious!” I said. “I need you to listen.”
“Okay,” he said. “What’s going on.”
“If you had such a good time with me the other day, why did you ghost me?” I asked. I didn’t mean for the question to come out so bluntly, but it was out in the open now, and there wasn’t any taking it back.
“I’m just busy, that’s all,” he said. “I know you tried to call, and I’ve been meaning to get back to you, but with work and everything, I’ve not had the time to really return calls that didn’t have to do with my job.”
“So what do you do?” I asked. “I think it’s only fair at this point you tell me what you do for a living.”
“I’m an accountant,” he said nonchalantly. “I know it’s not the most glamorous thing in the world, but it pays the bills at least.”
“Nothing wrong with that,” I smiled. “I mean, it’s a good job to have, and you have to be pretty good with numbers to be able to pull it off. Maybe you can help tutor me in math or something this year. It’s never been my really strong point.”
He laughed, but didn’t agree to help me or not. I began to feel awkward and for a brief moment nearly told him that my father was also an accountant. He had helped me a lot when I was younger and struggling in school. At least, he had before the divorce. Now my mother was dating some lawyer.
I called both of them my dad, but I had to admit, her current boyfriend certainly wasn’t anything like my real dad. We got along well enough, but nothing was going to bring my family back together the way it had been before my dad left my mom – and me.
He might have promised he was going to stay in my life and that he would continue to be there for me, but that didn’t seem to pan out the way he had said. He now traveled the world with his wealthy girlfriend, and I didn’t get to see much of him anymore.
I didn’t want to share all this with Josiah, however. It was my life, and they were the things that I had to deal with. He didn’t need to know everything there was to know about me, and I knew it would be smart to hold my tongue.
“Anyway, can I get you anything? We’re getting ready to shut down the espresso machine for the night, and I don’t want to get it cleaned and have you come up and try to get me to make something for you. No means no at that point.”
Josiah laughed again. “I’m not sure coffee is a good idea this late in the night, but if you could get me a cup of tea, that would be great.”
“What kind do you want?” I asked.
“Anything without caffeine in it. I’m going to head to bed shortly after I get back home, and I don’t want to wind up staring at the ceiling all night when I have to work in the morning.”
“Makes sense,” I said as I headed back to the counter. We had an extensive tea collection along with coffee, and it didn’t take me long to find something relaxing. It was one of the more popular choices for those who came in at night, and I figured Josiah would enjoy it.
Making tea wasn’t nearly as tricky as making coffee, but I was still hurrying to get it back to him before Brad came back up front. He had to be nearly do
ne with the dishes in the back by now, and I didn’t want him to ruin the moment I was having with my crush. He was just the sort of guy who would make some comment that would wind up embarrassing me, and I knew there would be no way I could recover from that if he were to.
“So, if you aren’t busy tomorrow night, I would like the chance to take you out,” Josiah said when I got back to his table. “You know, to make it up to you for ghosting you last week.”
“I would like that,” I said with a grin. “I would like that a lot. I get off at five if you’re going to be around.”
“That works for me,” he said with a flashy smile. I fought to keep from blushing once more, but it was a challenge. There was something about him that just turned me on, and I wasn’t sure how to respond. But then, something came over me.
It wasn’t at all like me, but as he rose to take his tea and gather his things, I kissed him. It caught us both off guard, and I could tell he enjoyed it just as much as I did.
“I’m sorry,” I said. “Really, that came out of the blue, wow.”
“Wow is right,” he said. “That was – incredible.”
“Sorry,” I said again. “I really should have asked.”
“I’m just sad it was so fast,” he said. “Maybe take your time?”
He put his hands on my shoulders and pulled me close before moving one of his hands to lift my chin to face him. I trembled with anticipation, but I wasn’t going to back down. This was the craziest thing I had ever done, but there was something inside me that kept pushing me to keep going.
Our lips met and we shared a slow, sensual kiss right there in the lobby. It was the hottest thing I had ever done in my entire life, and I felt the change take place in my body. I could have gone so much further with him, but I had to be careful not to get caught by Brad.