by Lexi Wilson
But, I would never have Barrett’s love. I’d have his child, but not his love. And I wouldn’t have him in my life in the way this woman had this man.
“First time, huh?” the woman said.
“Is it that obvious?”
“I had a hunch,” she replied.
“First time for you?”
“Yep,” she answered, and her husband smiled at me and gave her hand a squeeze.
“We’ve been married a few years,” the husband said. “We weren’t really trying. We were just...you know, being married. And, it just happened. We’re so excited, sometimes we get stupid about it.”
“Oh,” I said, unable to hide the sadness. “I’ve been kind of stupid, too. Not like you, but stupid.”
“It’ll get better,” said the woman. “Promise.”
Sighing and slumping my shoulders, I just said, “Okay. If you say so.”
And the woman reached over and took my hand and gave it a little squeeze, the way her husband did hers. I smiled a weak little smile at them. I guessed that they had figured out what my situation was, or at least some of it. But, they didn’t say anything. They just shared the moment with me. I appreciated them for that.
The OB-GYN, called me in. I smiled one more time at my new friends and went into the examination room. And once inside, I got undressed and got myself up on the doctor’s table, and the doctor slathered my stomach and whipped out her ultrasound gadget. Quick as a wink, what looked like one of those psychological inkblot tests came up on the monitor.
Pleased with what she saw, understanding it better than I did, the doctor pointed out to me where the baby was. All I could see was this little blob in a certain spot on the screen, but the doctor was sure of what the exam was showing us. She asked me, “Do you want to know what sex it is?”
For the first time my sadness parted like a fog, replaced with curiosity and even what I’d describe as a kind of wonder. “Can you tell?” I asked, my eyes widening.
“I can,” she said. “I can tell you, or we can let it be a surprise.”
For a moment I hesitated, teetering on this moment of a decision. I decided I’d done too much teetering with decisions lately. So I said, “Tell me.”
“You have a daughter,” the doctor grinned.
The only thing I could say in reaction was, “Oh!” My voice trailed off and I stared, hypnotized in a way, by this little blob that was my baby girl. My baby girl.
Just like that, my child went from being a dilemma that upset me and an uncertainty that worried me, to being a little person taking shape inside me. And it was as if this door opened wide in my heart and a bright light that I could feel all over came flooding through it.
I had a little girl.
Suddenly, the whole meaning of my life changed. It was as if I’d transformed into someone else, a new and different person – a person who could do anything because I now had to be capable of anything. Anything my little girl needed.
I was going to keep this baby, with or without Barrett. And, if it had to be without Barrett, then I would be mother and father. It would be hard; harder, I knew, than anything else that I’d ever done. But the really good things, the really important things? They’re always hard. And, they’re always worth it.
After that, I got dressed again, and the doctor gave me a print of the ultrasound. Holding it and looking at it, I just beamed. I was ready to take my precious little blob home and deal with whatever challenge came at me.
Back out in the waiting room, the Mexican-American woman called to me on my way out. “Hey, wait up!”
I stood by the door, smiling as her husband helped her stand up, loving the way he loved her and was there to help her. She came over to me, one hand on her stomach.
“Listen. Maybe I know why you were so sad, even if I don’t know the whole story, which is none of my business anyway. But I just wanted to tell you, there’s happiness in this. Maybe you have to fight for it, but happiness is like that. It’s something you can have if you want, but you have to show it how much you want it.
“Look at my husband and me. Two different kinds of people from two different kinds of lives, or so everyone said – his family, my family. No one was on our side at first. Not ‘til we dug in together and showed everyone that our love wasn’t going away, and where he went, I went, and where I went, he went. There was shouting and there was fighting. But look at us now.” She rubbed her bump, looking proud and happy. “Look at us now.”
“I see that,” I said.
“So, on the other side of your fight, there’s happiness. Hang in. Fight. Wait. It will be there. Promise.”
We hugged, this woman and I who knew only the bare facts of each other’s lives, but felt as if we’d known each other for years. And I thanked her and she went back to her husband. I left the doctor’s office, taking her words with me, knowing she was right.
Chapter 28
Barrett
What was killing me was that I finally understood, after all these years of hating my old man for what happened to my mother, was that I was my father’s son. Maybe I didn’t have a wife that I was cheating on with every sexy woman in the Dallas-Fort Worth metroplex, but damnit, I was just like him.
What had I done that was really so different from what he did? I asked myself. Yes, it was true, I wasn’t married, so I wasn’t leaving anyone alone while I was out fucking around. There was no wife who might have a bad accident all by herself when she should have been able to count on me to be there to help her. But really, I had turned out so much like him that it scared me to think about it.
And the hell of it was that even if I wasn’t married, it turned out that there was still someone that I had feelings for. There was a reason why out of all the women that I’d screwed, there was one that I screwed again. And again. And still wanted, even though I’d sent her packing from my life.
I had ordered the mother of my child to stay the hell away from me. And only now, after throwing her out of my life, did I realize what I had done, and whom I’d done it to.
Barrett, you stupid son of a bitch. You ordered the woman you’re in love with to hit the road. And, take your child with her. Way to go, asshat. Good job.
By comparison, everything else was going super. In the week since I slammed my front door on Bama, Cole and I had rounded up not one, but two investors for the company. In business, everything was great guns. Soon I’d have not only my NFL millions, but my name and likeness raking in more money for after my career.
Professionally, commercially, financially, things had never been better. It was just my actual life that sucked out loud.
So there I was, sitting in the living room of my big, expensive house. Rich as hell. Famous. World champion athlete. Envied and admired by people everywhere. Wanted by women. Even wanted by some men, though I didn’t swing that way. Everything going for me. And, I was sad and empty and alone.
My phone had been ringing a lot, off and on, during the day, until I finally just turned it off. Not only was I alone, I didn’t want to see anybody or hear from anybody. I didn’t care.
When the doorbell rang, it just made me sigh. If it was Cole, I’d just tell him I was taking it easy today and not up for doing anything, even a meeting with another investor. I’d just tell him to postpone it. Some new would-be investor wanting to get in on the ground floor of my company wouldn’t mind postponing for me.
After all, wasn’t I Barrett Porter? Wasn’t I everybody’s favorite? They’d understand, right?
I swung open the door, ready to greet Cole and make my excuses...but not a sound escaped my mouth at whom I saw was there.
“Barrett,” said Bama. She wasn’t timid. She wasn’t shaking or nervous. She was just there.
In a low voice, I just spoke her name, completely unprepared for the beautiful sight of her. “Bama.”
“I won’t keep you,” she said. “I just have some news. I’ve just been to the doctor.”
My heart felt like it had tri
pped on something and fallen over. “Th-the doctor? Is everything… The baby… Is the baby okay? Do you need anything?”
Bama smiled a little bit. I guess it pleased her to know I’d be concerned for the kid, even if she thought I didn’t want her. “The baby is fine,” she said calmly. “As a matter of fact, the baby is great. I just had an ultrasound. The baby is normal and healthy.” She paused for a little beat, then added, “It’s a girl.”
From out of nowhere, my face lit up into a huge smile. I heard myself laugh.
“A girl?” It was my first honest smile and laugh in days, after making myself sound positive and upbeat at business meetings. It was a real feeling, not putting on appearances. I couldn’t carry a tune in a truck, but my heart felt like singing.
“I just thought you’d want to know,” said Bama. “It wasn’t something I wanted to call or text or email about. I thought maybe a guy wants to hear that in person.”
“Thank you,” I said to her. “Really, thank you.”
“You’re welcome,” she said. “I won’t bother you anymore. You said you’d get in touch through your lawyers. So, I’ll just go.”
She turned and started down my front steps – the mother of my child, the most important person in my life, getting ready to walk away again, this time on her own free will, not because I’d ordered her to leave. I couldn’t let it happen.
“Bama?” I called after her.
She turned around again. “Yes?”
“Um...listen. I know how I treated you the last time, what I said, how I acted that day. I shouldn’t have done that. It’s just... I had just heard something else that I wasn’t ready for, and… Listen, it’s like this… Do you think maybe you could find it in yourself to feel something for me? Something besides how much I must have hurt you?”
She considered for a second. Then she said, “Maybe I could.”
Taking that little glimmer of hope, I asked, “Is it possible you might kind of… That you might maybe love me? A little?”
She smiled a bit, a smile that gave me even more hope. “A little,” she said.
I returned her little smile. “That’s good. Because I was just thinking about the way I acted, and it was the wrong thing, since... I love you.”
Her smile widened. We could have probably said some other things, but they weren’t anywhere near as important as that.
“Come in,” I said, opening the door wider.
She came all the way up my front steps, into my arms, and into my kiss – a kiss of welcoming her all the way into my life. I took her inside and closed the door.
Chapter 29
Bama
It was a strange few days. Strange but wonderful. Barrett had me move into his house; he insisted I come and live there now. And, he did something that he never did: he slept with me. By which I mean he only slept with me. That was all we did. We went to bed and just slept. He didn’t want so much as a blow job. He only wanted to hold me. It was sweet, and it was different – but it was nothing I’d ever expected.
Barrett explained to me about Shelly and what she did, and what happened with her right when I was finally ready to tell him the news. I was stunned, but I understood him so much better now. And, it brought us so much closer. I was grateful for that.
He took me on dates without expecting anything after. He took me out on a shopping spree and bought me things like clothes and shoes. And, he said he was looking forward to taking me out later to buy maternity and baby stuff. He took me to dinner. He took me to the arboretum and the aquarium. He took me everywhere...except to bed. Barrett treated me like a queen. He was charming, sweet, affectionate; and coming from a guy so inhumanly gorgeous, it was the most terrific thing. He was spoiling me in every way, except sexually.
We were standing on the deck in back of his house, watching the sun go down. He held me close and kissed me. I wanted him inside me again so much, but he hadn’t seemed to want to go there, which was totally out of character for him. So I finally asked him.
“Barrett, don’t you want to go to bed? I mean, go to bed, but not to sleep?”
The question startled him. “Babe, you know I want to get your pussy something awful. But, is it okay? I mean, is it...safe for me to fuck you?”
“I looked it up,” I told him. “Up to a certain point when doctors advise not doing it, it’s safe. You can do it. And, I know you’re not used to holding off…”
He kissed me again – a kiss that meant business. “Say no more,” he said, and led me back into the house.
There was one special purchase I’d made. When Barrett took me around to all those stores, he’d sit and watch me try things on, but there was one outfit I hadn’t let him see. Finally, now that I’d gotten past him treating me as if I’d break if he touched me, it was time to debut that outfit.
I had him wait on the bed while I went into the bathroom. When I came out of the bathroom I found him sitting there naked, the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen in my life, ready with a hard-on that hadn’t been put to work in too long.
A sexy smile spread across his face at the sight of me, as ready for him as he was for me. “Wow…” he exhaled.
The outfit was all black lace, strapless, cut very low up top and very high down below. It was the kind of thing designed specifically not to stay on for long.
He held out one hand to me and stroked the log of his cock with the other. “Come over here,” he said.
The black lace nightie quickly ended up at the foot of the bed. I quickly ended up on my back with legs open and Barrett’s face buried deep between my thighs.
Lord, but he knew how to do oral on a woman. The way he covered and sucked my girl parts with his mouth, I thought Barrett would turn me inside out. He sucked on my sex and licked the petals of my flower, slipping his tongue into my channel, feasting on me, devouring me, making me feel completely, totally wanted.
He sucked and licked away every bit of the fear and worry and doubt that I’d been carrying. I bent my knees and pushed myself up into him, feeding myself to him, telling him how much I wanted to belong only to him. And, Barrett returned the gesture by taking his tongue up my slippery groove to my clit, where he licked with a wet, sexy rhythm, at the same time as he took two of his fingers and sent them probing inside me where his tongue had been.
I gasped and moaned, and gloried in the way he took possession of me. “Oh, yes!” I wailed, with the probing of his fingers in my passage and the flicking of his tongue on my tenderness took me up through the ceiling and out to the clouds, where my orgasm made me burst across the sky and showered down in sparkling lights.
I settled back down on the bed, and Barrett kissed his way up my prone, tingling, trembling body.
He lingered at my navel where he kissed my little inlet and poked his tongue into it, and swirled the tip of his tongue around it. He traveled with his lips higher up until he reached my bosom, where my nipples had turned to fleshy little stones. He flicked his tongue around my pebbles and sucked at them the way he did my clit, and electric shocks of pleasure went off inside me. He made his way to my face and kissed my lips and pecked at the tip of my nose, and gave me a love bite on the chin that made me giggle.
And at last, Barrett gave me what I’d been hungering for, putting himself down on top of me, moving the barrel between his thighs into the soft, wet pinkness between mine. He slid into me with his sure, sensuous stroke, joining us together in the beginning of what had brought us together and made the new life that I carried.
He filled both my pussy with the massiveness of his dick and my whole being with the fullness of his love. I could feel us together now – totally together, more together than we’d ever been.
All the other times, Barrett was the best fuck I’d ever had. Now, he was so much more. Now, he was the fuck of my life because he was the love of my life.
Receiving and rejoicing in every steady, deep stroke of his tireless cock, I saw my future – our future – before my eyes. I saw us together
every night in this bed, me blowing Barrett and Barrett eating me out, mounting me, penetrating me, emptying the copious content of his balls inside me. I saw him doing it to me in every part of this house which would now be our home.
And before my mind’s eye, our daughter grew up from a cooing little thing that we held and adored, to a young girl with her father’s boundless energy.
That was what played out in my imagination as Barrett drilled my pussy with deep and vigorous thrusts, penetrating me, fucking me – making love to me. On top of me in what was our bed, Barrett used the fantastically huge root of his powerful prick not only to take his greatest pleasure and give me my own, but to bind us together forever; to make us one body and one life. Or two lives, with our child growing inside me, the product of what he did to me that night months ago before the Super Bowl when it all began.
And when Barrett came, after twenty minutes or half an hour, maybe longer (because the night he got me pregnant had to have been one of the very few quickies of this pussy-loving quarterback’s life), it was an outpouring of joy. I had never heard such absolute, total joy in a man’s voice as I heard from Barrett when he tossed back his head and shouted to the ceiling, “Of, fuck!”
He let himself go inside me, releasing the stream of his cum that was the outpouring not only of his orgasm but what I was now sure was his love. Barrett’s love. Our love. The deep, sexual, heartfelt love that would last us for the rest of our lives.
We lay against each other like spoons on the bed again, as we had so many times before. He reached around me and joined his hands with mine. Lying with him, blissfully contented, I looked at our fingers interlaced with each other. To me, this interlacing of hands, as much as his dick being sheathed inside my pussy, was the symbol of our togetherness. We would never let each other go.
Chapter 30
Barrett
It was easier than I expected, getting used to fucking just one woman that I was in love with. After a while, we had to taper off for the safety of the baby, but Bama still wanted my dick from time to time. Even if I couldn’t safely fuck her, she still gave one hell of a great blow job even when she was as big as a house.