The Diary of a Nobody

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by George Grossmith


  CHAPTER XVII

  Marriage of Daisy Mutlar and Murray Posh. The dream of my life realised.Mr. Perkupp takes Lupin into the office.

  MARCH 20.—To-day being the day on which Daisy Mutlar and Mr. Murray Poshare to be married, Lupin has gone with a friend to spend the day atGravesend. Lupin has been much cut-up over the affair, although hedeclares that he is glad it is off. I wish he would not go to so manymusic-halls, but one dare not say anything to him about it. At thepresent moment he irritates me by singing all over the house somenonsense about “What’s the matter with Gladstone? He’s all right!What’s the matter with Lupin? He’s all right!” _I_ don’t think eitherof them is. In the evening Gowing called, and the chief topic ofconversation was Daisy’s marriage to Murray Posh. I said: “I was gladthe matter was at an end, as Daisy would only have made a fool of Lupin.”Gowing, with his usual good taste, said: “Oh, Master Lupin can make afool of himself without any assistance.” Carrie very properly resentedthis, and Gowing had sufficient sense to say he was sorry.

  MARCH 21.—To-day I shall conclude my diary, for it is one of the happiestdays of my life. My great dream of the last few weeks—in fact, of manyyears—has been realised. This morning came a letter from Mr. Perkupp,asking me to take Lupin down to the office with me. I went to Lupin’sroom; poor fellow, he seemed very pale, and said he had a bad headache.He had come back yesterday from Gravesend, where he spent part of the dayin a small boat on the water, having been mad enough to neglect to takehis overcoat with him. I showed him Mr. Perkupp’s letter, and he got upas quickly as possible. I begged of him not to put on his fast-colouredclothes and ties, but to dress in something black or quiet-looking.

  Carrie was all of a tremble when she read the letter, and all she couldkeep on saying was: “Oh, I _do_ hope it will be all right.” For myself,I could scarcely eat any breakfast. Lupin came down dressed quietly, andlooking a perfect gentleman, except that his face was rather yellow.Carrie, by way of encouragement said: “You do look nice, Lupin.” Lupinreplied: “Yes, it’s a good make-up, isn’t it? Aregular-downright-respectable-funereal-first-class-City-firm-junior-clerk.” He laughed rather ironically.

  In the hall I heard a great noise, and also Lupin shouting to Sarah tofetch down his old hat. I went into the passage, and found Lupin in afury, kicking and smashing a new tall hat. I said: “Lupin, my boy, whatare you doing? How wicked of you! Some poor fellow would be glad tohave it.” Lupin replied: “I would not insult any poor fellow by givingit to him.”

  When he had gone outside, I picked up the battered hat, and saw inside“Posh’s Patent.” Poor Lupin! I can forgive him. It seemed hours beforewe reached the office. Mr. Perkupp sent for Lupin, who was with himnearly an hour. He returned, as I thought, crestfallen in appearance. Isaid: “Well, Lupin, how about Mr. Perkupp?” Lupin commenced his song:“What’s the matter with Perkupp? He’s all right!” I felt instinctivelymy boy was engaged. I went to Mr. Perkupp, but I could not speak. Hesaid: “Well, Mr. Pooter, what is it?” I must have looked a fool, for allI could say was: “Mr. Perkupp, you are a good man.” He looked at me fora moment, and said: “No, Mr. Pooter, _you_ are the good man; and we’llsee if we cannot get your son to follow such an excellent example.” Isaid: “Mr. Perkupp, may I go home? I cannot work any more to-day.”

  My good master shook my hand warmly as he nodded his head. It was asmuch as I could do to prevent myself from crying in the ’bus; in fact, Ishould have done so, had my thoughts not been interrupted by Lupin, whowas having a quarrel with a fat man in the ’bus, whom he accused oftaking up too much room.

  In the evening Carrie sent round for dear old friend Cummings and hiswife, and also to Gowing. We all sat round the fire, and in a bottle of“Jackson Frères,” which Sarah fetched from the grocer’s, drank Lupin’shealth. I lay awake for hours, thinking of the future. My boy in thesame office as myself—we can go down together by the ’bus, come hometogether, and who knows but in the course of time he may take greatinterest in our little home. That he may help me to put a nail in hereor a nail in there, or help his dear mother to hang a picture. In thesummer he may help us in our little garden with the flowers, and assistus to paint the stands and pots. (By-the-by, I must get in some moreenamel paint.) All this I thought over and over again, and a thousandhappy thoughts beside. I heard the clock strike four, and soon afterfell asleep, only to dream of three happy people—Lupin, dear Carrie, andmyself.

 

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