CHAPTER XXI
Lupin is discharged. We are in great trouble. Lupin gets engagedelsewhere at a handsome salary.
MAY 13.—A terrible misfortune has happened: Lupin is discharged from Mr.Perkupp’s office; and I scarcely know how I am writing my diary. I wasaway from office last Sat., the first time I have been absent throughillness for twenty years. I believe I was poisoned by some lobster. Mr.Perkupp was also absent, as Fate would have it; and our most valuedcustomer, Mr. Crowbillon, went to the office in a rage, and withdrew hiscustom. My boy Lupin not only had the assurance to receive him, butrecommended him the firm of Gylterson, Sons and Co. Limited. In my ownhumble judgment, and though I have to say it against my own son, thisseems an act of treachery.
This morning I receive a letter from Perkupp, informing me that Lupin’sservices are no longer required, and an interview with me is desired ateleven o’clock. I went down to the office with an aching heart, dreadingan interview with Mr. Perkupp, with whom I have never had a word. I sawnothing of Lupin in the morning. He had not got up when it was time forme to leave, and Carrie said I should do no good by disturbing him. Mymind wandered so at the office that I could not do my work properly.
As I expected, I was sent for by Mr. Perkupp, and the followingconversation ensued as nearly as I can remember it.
Mr. Perkupp said: “Good-morning, Mr. Pooter! This is a very seriousbusiness. I am not referring so much to the dismissal of your son, for Iknew we should have to part sooner or later. _I_ am the head of thisold, influential, and much-respected firm; and when _I_ consider the timehas come to revolutionise the business, _I_ will do it myself.”
I could see my good master was somewhat affected, and I said: “I hope,sir, you do not imagine that I have in any way countenanced my son’sunwarrantable interference?” Mr. Perkupp rose from his seat and took myhand, and said: “Mr. Pooter, I would as soon suspect myself as suspectyou.” I was so agitated that in the confusion, to show my gratitude Ivery nearly called him a “grand old man.”
Fortunately I checked myself in time, and said he was a “grand oldmaster.” I was so unaccountable for my actions that I sat down, leavinghim standing. Of course, I at once rose, but Mr. Perkupp bade me sitdown, which I was very pleased to do. Mr. Perkupp, resuming, said: “Youwill understand, Mr. Pooter, that the high-standing nature of our firmwill not admit of our bending to anybody. If Mr. Crowbillon chooses toput his work into other hands—I may add, less experienced hands—it is notfor us to bend and beg back his custom.” “You _shall_ not do it, sir,” Isaid with indignation. “Exactly,” replied Mr. Perkupp; “I shall _not_ doit. But I was thinking this, Mr. Pooter. Mr. Crowbillon is our mostvalued client, and I will even confess—for I know this will not go beyondourselves—that we cannot afford very well to lose him, especially inthese times, which are not of the brightest. Now, I fancy you can be ofservice.”
I replied: “Mr. Perkupp, I will work day and night to serve you!”
Mr. Perkupp said: “I know you will. Now, what I should like you to do isthis. You yourself might write to Mr. Crowbillon—you must not, ofcourse, lead him to suppose I know anything about your doing so—andexplain to him that your son was only taken on as a clerk—quite aninexperienced one in fact—out of the respect the firm had for you, Mr.Pooter. This is, of course, a fact. I don’t suggest that you shouldspeak in too strong terms of your own son’s conduct; but I may add, thathad he been a son of mine, I should have condemned his interference withno measured terms. That I leave to you. I think the result will be thatMr. Crowbillon will see the force of the foolish step he has taken, andour firm will neither suffer in dignity nor in pocket.”
I could not help thinking what a noble gentleman Mr. Perkupp is. Hismanners and his way of speaking seem to almost thrill one with respect.
I said: “Would you like to see the letter before I send it?”
Mr. Perkupp said: “Oh no! I had better not. I am supposed to knownothing about it, and I have every confidence in you. You must write theletter carefully. We are not very busy; you had better take the morningto-morrow, or the whole day if you like. I shall be here myself all dayto-morrow, in fact all the week, in case Mr. Crowbillon should call.”
I went home a little more cheerful, but I left word with Sarah that Icould not see either Gowing or Cummings, nor in fact anybody, if theycalled in the evening. Lupin came into the parlour for a moment with anew hat on, and asked my opinion of it. I said I was not in the mood tojudge of hats, and I did not think he was in a position to buy a new one.Lupin replied carelessly: “I didn’t buy it; it was a present.”
I have such terrible suspicions of Lupin now that I scarcely like to askhim questions, as I dread the answers so. He, however, saved me thetrouble.
He said: “I met a friend, an old friend, that I did not quite think afriend at the time; but it’s all right. As he wisely said, ‘all is fairin love and war,’ and there was no reason why we should not be friendsstill. He’s a jolly, good, all-round sort of fellow, and a verydifferent stamp from that inflated fool of a Perkupp.”
I said: “Hush, Lupin! Do not pray add insult to injury.”
Lupin said: “What do you mean by injury? I repeat, I have done noinjury. Crowbillon is simply tired of a stagnant stick-in-the-mud firm,and made the change on his own account. I simply recommended the newfirm as a matter of biz—good old biz!”
I said quietly: “I don’t understand your slang, and at my time of lifehave no desire to learn it; so, Lupin, my boy, let us change the subject.I will, if it please you, _try_ and be interested in your new hatadventure.”
Lupin said: “Oh! there’s nothing much about it, except I have not onceseen him since his marriage, and he said he was very pleased to see me,and hoped we should be friends. I stood a drink to cement thefriendship, and he stood me a new hat—one of his own.”
I said rather wearily: “But you have not told me your old friend’s name?”
Lupin said, with affected carelessness: “Oh didn’t I? Well, I will. Itwas _Murray Posh_.”
MAY 14.—Lupin came down late, and seeing me at home all the morning,asked the reason of it. Carrie and I both agreed it was better to saynothing to him about the letter I was writing, so I evaded the question.
Lupin went out, saying he was going to lunch with Murray Posh in theCity. I said I hoped Mr. Posh would provide him with a berth. Lupinwent out laughing, saying: “I don’t mind _wearing_ Posh’s one-pricedhats, but I am not going to _sell_ them.” Poor boy, I fear he isperfectly hopeless.
It took me nearly the whole day to write to Mr. Crowbillon. Once ortwice I asked Carrie for suggestions; and although it seems ungrateful,her suggestions were none of them to the point, while one or two wereabsolutely idiotic. Of course I did not tell her so. I got the letteroff, and took it down to the office for Mr. Perkupp to see, but he againrepeated that he could trust me.
Gowing called in the evening, and I was obliged to tell him about Lupinand Mr. Perkupp; and, to my surprise, he was quite inclined to side withLupin. Carrie joined in, and said she thought I was taking much toomelancholy a view of it. Gowing produced a pint sample-bottle ofMadeira, which had been given him, which he said would get rid of theblues. I dare say it would have done so if there had been more of it;but as Gowing helped himself to three glasses, it did not leave much forCarrie and me to get rid of the blues with.
MAY 15.—A day of great anxiety, for I expected every moment a letter fromMr. Crowbillon. Two letters came in the evening—one for me, with“Crowbillon Hall” printed in large gold-and-red letters on the back ofthe envelope; the other for Lupin, which I felt inclined to open andread, as it had “Gylterson, Sons, and Co. Limited,” which was therecommended firm. I trembled as I opened Mr. Crowbillon’s letter. Iwrote him sixteen pages, closely written; he wrote me less than sixteenlines.
His letter was: “Sir,—I totally disagree with you. Your son, in thecourse of five minutes’ conversation, displayed more in
telligence thanyour firm has done during the last five years.—Yours faithfully, GilbertE. Gillam O. Crowbillon.”
What am I to do? Here is a letter that I dare not show to Mr. Perkupp,and would not show to Lupin for anything. The crisis had yet to come;for Lupin arrived, and, opening his letter, showed a cheque for £25 as acommission for the recommendation of Mr. Crowbillon, whose custom to Mr.Perkupp is evidently lost for ever. Cummings and Gowing both called, andboth took Lupin’s part. Cummings went so far as to say that Lupin wouldmake a name yet. I suppose I was melancholy, for I could only ask: “Yes,but what sort of a name?”
MAY 16.—I told Mr. Perkupp the contents of the letter in a modified form,but Mr. Perkupp said: “Pray don’t discuss the matter; it is at an end.Your son will bring his punishment upon himself.” I went home in theevening, thinking of the hopeless future of Lupin. I found him in mostextravagant spirits and in evening dress. He threw a letter on the tablefor me to read.
To my amazement, I read that Gylterson and Sons had absolutely engagedLupin at a salary of £200 a year, with other advantages. I read theletter through three times and thought it must have been for me. Butthere it was—Lupin Pooter—plain enough. I was silent. Lupin said: “Whatprice Perkupp now? You take my tip, Guv.—‘off’ with Perkupp and freezeon to Gylterson, the firm of the future! Perkupp’s firm? The stagnantdummies have been standing still for years, and now are moving back. Iwant to go on. In fact I must go _off_, as I am dining with the MurrayPoshs to-night.”
In the exuberance of his spirits he hit his hat with his stick, gave aloud war “Whoo-oop,” jumped over a chair, and took the liberty ofrumpling my hair all over my forehead, and bounced out of the room,giving me no chance of reminding him of his age and the respect which wasdue to his parent. Gowing and Cummings came in the evening, andpositively cheered me up with congratulations respecting Lupin.
Gowing said: “I always said he would get on, and, take my word, he hasmore in his head than we three put together.”
Carrie said: “He is a second Hardfur Huttle.”
The Diary of a Nobody Page 21