by L. M. Reed
Chapter 7
The music of the concert was merely background noise to my thoughts; they were in turmoil. As much as I had enjoyed my visits with Elsee, her insistence that I meet her son was the only thing I dreaded about them. I knew from experience that blind dates seldom worked out, and sons were never as special to other people as they were to their mothers. I hated to hurt her feelings, but I just couldn’t submit to any more mothers trying to fix me up with their ‘perfect for me’ sons…not even Elsee.
I wondered what would have happened if I had allowed her to do just that. Remembering the look in his eyes as soon as he realized who I was I decided maybe that wasn’t such a good idea. Although I could have sworn that he was attracted to me, he had seemed almost…angry. I wasn’t sure what all she had told him about me, although I knew she had mentioned me to him, but his reaction to me was hardly encouraging so he must have been singularly unimpressed.
Perhaps it was a good thing I had never agreed to meet him. He didn’t strike me as the type of person who would care much for blind dates. Maybe that was why he was so angry; his mother had made no secret of the fact that she wanted to get us together. He didn’t want to be set up and thought it was all my idea. I shivered.
“Are you cold?” Richard asked in disbelief.
I understood his incredulity; the auditorium was hot and stuffy.
“No,” I denied, desperately searching for a reason to give him. “It’s the music; always gives me chills,” I answered turning toward him to make myself heard.
“Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy gives you chills?”
“Ssh,” I frowned at him, unwilling to admit I had uncharacteristically not been paying attention to the music.
Glancing absently past Richard I was shocked to meet a pair of mocking green eyes only a few seats beyond Richard, which seemed to glow in the darkness of the auditorium reflecting the light from the stage, and I couldn’t tear my eyes away. I tried to concentrate on what Richard was saying, but only caught the tail end.
“…and sweating buckets,” he finished in disgust.
“Sorry,” I mumbled sitting back quickly, my heart pounding so loudly I was sure everyone could hear it.
I leaned back as far as my chair would allow, hoping Richard’s body would block my view of the Wilsons, or James anyway, and tried to distract myself, first by concentrating on the music and then by rehearsing what I would say to Nat after the concert, but a pair of brilliant green eyes kept interrupting my thoughts.
“Allison, what is with you?” Richard demanded.
“Hmm…?” I blinked in the sudden brightness of the houselights.
“The concert is over, thank goodness, time to go,” Richard said pulling me out of my seat, impatiently.
As I rose, I was astonished to realize he was right. Somehow, it seemed like mere minutes since we had taken our seats.
Wow, I must have been really out of it, I thought in wonder.
Turning towards Nat, mentally preparing myself for another attack, I was almost relieved to note that she and Jason were having their own disagreement.
“Don’t go spreading rumors about him, Nat,” Jason cautioned. “I won’t stand for it.”
“Oh, come on, you won’t stand for it?”
“He’s a good guy, and you’re just upset because someone didn’t fall at your feet like all the others do.”
“How dare you! I am not! Watch it Jason, you aren’t irreplaceable.”
“Great, then you won’t mind if I decide to end our relationship now instead of waiting for you to do it in a couple of months. I didn’t want to believe Mitch when he told me you had come on to James even though you and I were dating, but I realize now that you are a selfish, vain, egotistical…I’m too much of a gentleman to use the one word that comes to mind but I think you get the picture. Hope you have better luck with my replacement.” He spun away from her but turned back to add, “On second thought, I hope you don’t have better luck with my replacement. I wouldn’t wish you on my worst enemy.”
With those parting words, Jason nodded to the rest of us and climbed over his seat to the row behind, exiting in the opposite direction from where we had entered.
“Who does he think he is?” Nat exploded.
“Natalie,” Becky whispered urgently, “people are staring, let’s get out of here.”
That seemed to bring Nat back to herself and, nodding at Becky, indicated that Richard should lead the way. Glancing past him, I noticed thankfully that the Wilson’s were already well ahead of us. As soon as we were out into the aisle, Nat grabbed the arm of—what was his name?—completely ignoring the fact that he was supposed to be Becky’s date, and took the lead moving us all towards the exit. Neither he nor Becky seemed to mind Nat’s proprietary attitude.
Nat spotted the Wilsons ahead of us as we hit the foyer and, moving us all quickly within earshot, raised her voice making sure it would carry to them.
“I’ve never heard of anyone naming their child Elsie. I mean, really, what type of parents would name their child after a cow?”
I gasped in shock at the childishly cruel intent of Nat’s words. James had paused for a split second, his back stiffening as he attempted to turn around, but his mother, keeping a tight grip on his arm, urged him forward.
Richard, not to be outdone, continued in the same vein, “Yeah, you know, I heard Elsie had a calf. They hoped it would be a bull, turns out it was nothing but a steer.”
They were all laughing, even though I was quite sure Becky didn’t even know what a steer was if the confused look on her face was anything to go by, and I was furious, almost speechless with anger…almost speechless.
“You idiotic…callous…immature…jerks!” I hissed angrily at them…so much for keeping my temper in check.
I wheeled around, located the closest exit and practically ran, which was not an easy thing to do in a straight skirt and heels, in my haste to get away from them. How dare they insult the sweetest, kindest woman on the planet? I wondered if Elsee would ever speak to me again. I wouldn’t if I were her. Guilt by association, wasn’t that the term? I may not have actually spoken the words myself, but my presence condoned their behavior.
Blinded by my rage, shame, and I admit, a few tears, I couldn’t see clearly. A hand wrapped around my upper arm, pulling me backwards just as a car honked and zoomed by a foot in front of me.
“I seriously doubt that your death would cause them a moment’s guilt,” a voice whispered in my ear as the grip on my arm eased.
“My dear, are you alright?” Elsee’s voice behind me was horrified. “You could have been killed running out in the street like that!”
“Allison, Allison!”
Richard hurried towards us.
Perfect, I thought sarcastically. I’ll bet he’s sweating an ocean by now, another part of my mind mused a tad bit vindictively.
“Why did you run off like that? Come on, I’ll take you back to your apartment.”
“No thanks,” I replied stiffly, as the others joined us on the sidewalk, “I would rather walk.”
Turning away, I had no idea where I was going I just knew I had to get away from Richard before I made a fool of myself in public. I was sure I could find a phone somewhere and call a taxi. I’d done it before; in fact I had a cab company’s phone number memorized. I thought it prudent as much time as I spent with Richard.
Elsee’s voice stopped me. “We would be happy to give you a ride home, Allison, wouldn’t we James?”
“Of course, if she wants,” James replied indifferently.
“Allison, you will ride with me,” Richard commanded, and tried to grab my arm as I determinedly evaded his grasp.
That decided me.
“Thank you Mrs. Wilson, I accept.”
I knew that if I tried to walk, Richard would win, but I didn’t think he would have much success getting his way with Elsee’s son involve
d, even as detached and uncaring as James appeared.
“Wonderful,” Elsee beamed, “My chance to repay your kindness in offering me a lift when I needed one. I believe we are parked over there,” she waved vaguely towards the parking lot.
Turning my back on Richard, I allowed Elsee to take my arm—definitely better than the arm-grabbing Richard had been subjecting me to all night—and direct me towards the car. James followed a couple of steps behind.
Although it was hard to make out anything about the vehicle in the dark, I could tell it was a rather large, old, four-door something or other. Even if I could see, it wouldn’t have helped me much as I was definitely not the car buff that Richard was. Also, unlike Richard, none of that mattered to me. My parents had bought my convertible and presented it to me as a surprise once they realized that I had no idea about cars and couldn’t have cared less.
“Now Allison, dear, you sit in the front with James, while I make myself comfortable in the back where there’s more room. Oh, and James, it is getting late, and you know my old bones need their rest, so if you don’t mind dropping me off at the Fowlkes’ first, that would be very nice.”
“Whatever you want, Mom,” James replied tersely.
I had intended on waiting until we were in the car to begin apologizing to Elsee for the rude behavior of my ‘friends’, but after hearing the tone of voice James was using, I couldn’t wait that long. While James was unlocking the doors, the words came out in a rush.
“I am so very sorry, Mrs. Wilson, I can’t tell you how embarrassed I am about….”
I didn’t get any further. Elsee shushed me—there was no other word for it—before I could say anymore.
“You are not responsible for what other people do, Allison. One of these days I hope you will begin to believe that.”
“But...”
“You have very kind eyes, you know, and anyone,” she looked pointedly at her son, “who can’t see that is very blind indeed.”
“Thank you,” I whispered tearfully.
James helped his mother into the back seat, and then turned to help me into the front. His hand on my arm had me tingling all over. I hoped he couldn’t see my suddenly overheated face. As I slid into the car, the cloth seat seemed to grab my knee-length suede skirt hiking it up to mid-thigh. My eyes flew to his face, mortified, as I struggled desperately to readjust my uncooperative clothing. I saw his jaw clench as he drug his eyes away and slammed the door shut.
While James walked around the back of the car, I lifted my whole body off the seat and quickly straightened my skirt. I was already in the process of buckling my seatbelt by the time he let himself into the driver’s side. Suede skirts and cloth seats were apparently not a good combination.
Before James could start the car, Richard’s red sports car growled quietly passed us moving more slowly than usual, the subdued roar of his powerful engine mocking me, and the ride I had chosen over him. I had plenty of time in the well-lit parking lot to take in his furious face glaring at me before he was out of sight.
I saw the sardonic twist to James’ lips as I turned away to stare out my window, embarrassed by Richard’s showy and somewhat childish display.
Neither James nor his mother seemed disposed to talk, which was surprising knowing Elsee, so I kept quiet, which would have surprised anyone who knew me.
James pulled around to the service entrance once we reached the Fowlkes’ house and was out opening the door for his mother as soon as the car was in park.
“Time to rest your weary old bones,” James said sarcastically.
“Be a good boy and walk your mother to the door,” Elsee suggested sweetly, “he’ll be right back,” she added in an aside to me as she was alighting.
Distracted by the grimace James was wearing, all I could do was smile weakly at her and nod. What was his problem? I was beginning to feel the first stirrings of anger.
I watched as the two of them walked to the door, engaged in a very animated discussion, possibly an argument, but they were talking in very low tones making it impossible for me to hear any part of the conversation. Finally, with a little wave in my general direction, Elsee entered the house. Scowling, James made his way back to where I was waiting. Without a word, he got in and put the car in drive. As we headed down the curved driveway, I couldn’t stand the silence any longer.
“Do you want me to give you directions to my apartment?”
“Mom did,” he replied shortly.
“You’re angry with your mother.”
“You think?” his lips twisted derisively.
“Why?”
“She’s a nosey busybody.”
I didn’t blame him for being upset, Elsee had made it pretty obvious that she was trying to play matchmaker.
“I am sorry about what the others said.”
“Are you?”
“Of course I am!”
“Not going to defend your boyfriend?”
“He is not my boyfriend.”
“Apparently he doesn’t know that,” James observed mockingly.
“Richard believes what he wants to believe,” I answered dismissively, having no desire to waste time taking about Richard. There was something, however, that I wanted to ask him, but unsure how to broach the subject tactfully I just let it spill out “Did Nat…Natalie really ask you out?”
“That’s one way of putting it” he replied ambiguously.
“How odd,” I murmured to myself.
“Odd that she would be interested in me?”
“You’re not her type,” I tried to explain. “She only goes for blue-eyed blondes like Jason and she’s never been turned down that I know of. I’m sure that’s why she was being so rude tonight,” it was a lame excuse but it was all I had, “she felt…rejected, and that’s something she’s never had to deal with before. I’m afraid she didn’t handle it very well.”
“Poor little rich girl,” James replied cuttingly.
“You have something against rich people?”
James shrugged.
“You dislike Natalie because she’s rich,” I insisted. “That’s why you turned her down.”
“Natalie is a selfish, spoiled brat who expects to get whatever she wants and doesn’t care who she hurts in the process,” he responded angrily. “Jason and I have been friends for almost three years,” he said, suddenly despondent “and then a month ago he became infatuated with your friend. He hasn’t been the same since.”
“Jason dumped her tonight.”
He sounded so discouraged that I felt a strong urge to cheer him up.
“Good for him,” James said quietly to himself.
“So your hostility to me is because I’m Natalie’s friend and not because my parents have money,” I stated, trying to clarify the reason for his attitude towards me.
Laughing harshly he asked, “You think I’m being hostile?”
“Whatever else you may think of me,” I said irritably, “I am not stupid. I recognize hostility when I see it.”
After a couple of minutes passed without a sound, I risked a glance at James and noticed two things: one—he looked every bit as hostile, if not more so, than before, and two—he had missed my exit. I must have been distracting him so much he wasn’t paying attention to his driving. I could hardly blame him, I hadn’t been paying attention either.
Debating whether to mention his missed turn, I decided he would figure it out for himself soon enough. I tried to occupy myself with guessing where we were, and where we would end up, but my mind kept going back to earlier in the evening when we first met.
I knew I’d read him correctly. I had enough experience with amorous males to sense when someone was attracted to me, or at least, I thought I had. Maybe James was different from all of the guys I had ever known. Well, he was different, that was why I reacted to him so strongly…but surely he wasn’t that different. I didn’t for one moment believe what Nat accused
him of, but what if I had read him incorrectly. Sighing in silent frustration, I gave up; speculation wasn’t going to get me anywhere.
Lost in my own thoughts I slowly became aware that we had stopped. Glancing out the windshield, I gasped in surprise.
“How beautiful!” I exclaimed involuntarily at the sight of the moon and stars reflecting off the water. “It’s like the lake is full of diamonds.”
I mentally winced as I realized what I had said—wishing I hadn’t used diamonds as an analogy—but, already out of the car, James thankfully hadn’t heard any of it.
Unlike Richard he obviously was a gentleman, even when he wasn’t feeling much like one as I was sure was the case at that moment, and moving around to my side he opened my door for me, helping me out of the car. I was relieved because the ground was uneven and soft and my spiked heels were only good on even, solid surfaces. The humiliation of falling flat on my face in front of him was not something I cared to picture.
“Where are we?”
“Lake Austin,” he replied tersely. He was quiet for a moment then added almost unwillingly, “I come here sometimes when I need a quiet place to think.”
“It’s beautiful.”
“Yes.”
He helped me up on the hood, but didn’t join me, preferring to stand in front of the car with his back to me, staring at the water. We wordlessly watched the ripples running across the lake—the only sound the water lapping on the shore—for a couple of minutes before I found the courage break the silence.
“Why did you bring me here?”
“We needed to talk, seemed like as good a place as any.”
“You felt it, too, didn’t you?”
I didn’t have to explain, he knew exactly what I meant, although he didn’t answer immediately.
“Yes,” he finally admitted.
I exhaled in a rush. I hadn’t realized that I had been holding my breath waiting for his reply. So, if he felt the same way…I slid a few inches down the hood towards him, my heels finding the bumper directly in front of the passenger side headlamp.
“But if you like me too…”
“I didn’t say I liked you.”
“What…?”
“There is a huge difference between like and attraction.”
“What does that mean?”
“I’m sure you don’t need me to tell you how beautiful you are,” what should have been a compliment came out as an insult. “I’d have to be blind not to notice you. I admit that until tonight I didn’t understand how any guy could be so infatuated that nothing else mattered, how Jason could…but regardless of how much I…” he broke off with a disgusted sound, then continued firmly “I have no intention of being led around by the nose like Jason has been for the past month.”
“I’m not like that,” I objected. “You don’t even know me.”
“I know your type,” he said, turning towards me in distaste. “I’m not interested in a three month fling.”
“But I…”
“And unlike Jason I’m not naïve enough to believe I might be the exception,” he cut me off impatiently. “Your eyes make all kinds of promises, but I would have to be a fool to believe any of them.”
“My eyes…” I repeated stunned “you think they’re lying to you,” I finished bleakly.
“Aren’t they?”
“Your mind is made up then,” I shrugged stoically. “You’re attracted to me but you don’t want to be so…”
I left the sentence hanging, mostly because I wasn’t sure I had enough control to prevent him from hearing the tears in my voice and I was determined not to show him how hurt I was. I could already feel them welling up in my eyes.
He was attracted to me, which was something he couldn’t help, but refused to give into that attraction because he assumed I was just like Nat. Even though our eyes had spoken to each other, he thought mine were lying to him. Wiping the tears that were spilling over with the back of my hand, I slid off the hood. I was the one who had pushed him for an explanation, and he had given me one. Enough said.
“Allison…”
“Just take me home, now please.”
I could barely get the words out.
In my haste to get away from him I had forgotten how soft the ground was and my spiked heels immediately sank down making it impossible to walk. Yanking my foot loose I lost my balance, but James was right behind me, arms around my waist catching me before I could hit the ground.
I heard him groan as if in pain and I felt myself being turned and crushed against him, his lips on mine. My heart was thundering in my chest. Shock held me still for a split second, then, of their own volition, my arms threw themselves around his neck and I was kissing him with a passion I didn’t even know I possessed. Never in my life had I felt like that. I wanted more…closer…I had no other thought in my head but that of him, the feel of him, the smell of him, he was intoxicating.
Firmly disengaging my protesting arms from the hold I had on his neck, James silently pushed me away and, turning me around to face the car, practically shoved me into the front seat. As he made his way to the driver’s side, I sat in humiliated silence reeling from the rejection I had just suffered.
His obvious attraction to me wasn’t enough to counteract his disdain. The fact that he had been unable to stop himself from kissing me only served to fill him with self-disgust. I tried to stifle the sobs that rose up in my throat, choking me, but I couldn’t. By the time James made it around to his side of the car and slid in, I was crying in earnest.
“Allison…” he began.
“No…just go…hate me…eyes…just GO!”
I knew that my babbling was incomprehensible to James, but it made perfect sense to me. How could I have been so wrong? Hannah told me I would know when I looked into his eyes. I would know!
Startled by my thoughts I realized that she was right, I had known; she had just failed to explain to me that he might not know or want to admit it.
“I don’t hate you,” his hands were gripping the steering wheel tightly and he was looking straight ahead. “I hate what society has made you.”
“What…do you…mean?” I asked between hiccupping sobs.
“Fine, you want me to give it to you straight?” he asked abruptly, turning around to face me.
I nodded.
“No interruptions?”
I nodded again.
“You and your friends are used to getting everything you want. Your boyfriend drives a Porsche and I would hazard a guess that you drive something just as expensive,” he smiled cynically at the sharp intake of breath I couldn’t control as I pictured my convertible.
“I’m guessing this is the first time your skirt has ever touched anything besides expensive leather.”
I followed his glance; my skirt had ridden up again as I’d slid onto the seat but I had been so preoccupied I hadn’t noticed. I ignored it, past caring what he thought since nothing I said or did was going to make a difference to his prejudices.
“To people like you and your friend Natalie, Jason and I are just potential notches on the handle of your Gucci handbag,” he continued forcing his eyes away from my exposed legs and back to my face. “I’m sure your parents have someone equally rich lined up for you to marry, maybe even your boyfriend from tonight, he looked the part, not the housekeeper’s son with a football scholarship. Money marries money.”
Once again, my face gave me away.
He nodded, “I thought so. Need I go on?”
I stared at him, hopelessness and helplessness filling me with despair. There was just enough veracity in what he said that I couldn’t argue with him, but how could he look into my eyes and think all I wanted was a fling, a conquest? How could he think even for a moment that I would ever pick Richard over him no matter how much money was involved?
“What…finally speechless…?”
“You…you really think I’m like
that?”
“Aren’t you? I must admit your tears almost had me convinced. You’re a better actress than your friend, her tears were obviously faked.”
Suddenly I felt deflated, totally defeated. There was no way to fight his prejudices and win.
“Take me home, please,” I requested listlessly.
“What, no rebuttal?”
I had nothing left. I just shook my head. I had soared to the heavens and been dumped in hell all in one night. Leaning back, I turned my head towards the side window, and closed my eyes. James started the car, and backed out slowly. I could feel him occasionally glancing over at me, but I ignored him.
Hannah was wrong, it wasn’t always in the eyes; eyes could apparently lie, and James was wrong, wrong about the one thing that mattered. I didn’t always get everything I wanted. For the first time in my life I wanted love, true love…the kind between a man and a woman, the kind that would last forever. Money couldn’t buy that, instead money was going to keep me from it. Talk about irony.
There was only silence the whole way back to the apartment complex. As soon as we stopped moving, I was out of the car running, refusing to look back and not relenting until I reached my apartment.
A quick glance towards the parking lot as I let myself in told me that James’ car was still there, ever the gentleman, making sure I made it into the apartment safely despite the feelings of animosity he held towards me.
Slamming my door shut, I threw my keys and purse on the ground and collapsed on the floor allowing my anguished tears to swallow me.