by L. M. Reed
Chapter 11
“Merry Christmas, Allie,” Elsee smiled at me as she handed me a beautifully wrapped flat box.
“Merry Christmas, Elsee,” I returned the smile as James pulled a much larger box from behind the couch in Elsee’s sitting room where he had hidden it for me and put it on the floor in front of his mother. “I hope the colors are the right shade. I had to go by memory when I bought the yarn,” I admitted as I watched her open the box and pull out the two matching crocheted pillows.
“They are absolutely gorgeous!” she exclaimed. “I don’t recognize this stitch,” her brow puckered slightly in concentration as she fingered the pillows.
“It’s the Tunisian Afghan stitch,” I explained. “Took Hannah forever to teach me to do that one, but I thought the pillows would go perfectly with your couch.”
I was so thankful to be able to make something for Elsee. Spending my parents’ money on a gift for her just wouldn’t have felt right. Yvonne had offered me whatever materials I needed as a show of gratitude for helping her out at the shop whenever I could, so everything I used had come from my own hard work.
“Did you do the embroidery on the front?” she asked in disbelief. “You hate embroidery as much as I do.”
“I know…and Yvonne offered to finish it for me, but I wanted to do it all myself.”
“Thank you. The pillows are wonderful,” she said hugging me. “Now open yours,” she urged noticing the unopened gift sitting on my lap.
I removed the separately wrapped lid off the box and, gently folding back the tissue paper, lifted the delicate antique white lace out of the box, stunned speechless by how beautiful it was.
“I made you a shawl like mine, the one my grandmother tatted for my mother years ago,” she told me anxiously. “You said you liked it. I hope it’s alright. I don’t think I’m as good as my grandmother at tatting, but…”
With tears in my eyes, I carefully placed the shawl back in the box, set it aside and threw my arms around her neck. I couldn’t say anything. After a bit I let go and sat back wiping my eyes.
“Sorry,” I whispered. “It’s…”
I didn’t even know what to say; it was priceless, and I realized that she must have worked day and night to finish my lovely gift before Christmas.
“I’m glad you like it,” I could see an answering shimmer in her eyes.
“I have to admit,” James decided to break in and lighten the atmosphere, “I would have never believed it if I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes,” he shook his head in mock amazement.
“What?” I asked suspiciously.
“Both of you…speechless,” he finished smugly.
“You best watch it buster,” I warned, shaking my finger at him. “There will be no Christmas dinner for wicked little boys.”
“My mother will make sure I don’t starve,” he responded in the same vein. “She loves me.”
“You are on your own,” his mother informed him, getting up from the couch. “Speaking of which, I should check on dinner.”
Noticing my attempt to follow her she waved me back down onto the couch.
“You stay; I think James wants to give you his gift privately. I’ll call you when it’s time to eat.”
Bestowing a smile on both of us, she exited to the kitchen.
“My mom is the soul of discretion,” James said appreciatively as he lowered himself onto the couch next to me. “First things first,” he continued as he pulled me into his arms. “Merry Christmas my love,” he whispered as his lips met mine.
As usual, my response was immediate and unrestrained. It was certainly disconcerting to have so little control over my reactions and a short time later James literally had to pry me away from him.
“We aren’t alone you know,” he reminded me gently.
My face was full of heat as I tried to jump off the couch. He let me pull slightly away from him and then stopped me.
Tracing my face with his index finger from forehead to chin lingering for a moment on my cheek he said, “You blush beautifully.”
Mortified, I couldn’t look at him. Using the same tracing finger, he lifted my chin until we were face to face again.
“Open your eyes, Allison,” he commanded. “What’s wrong?” he asked once he had established eye contact with me.
I shook my head silently.
“I don’t know if you don’t tell me,” he said reasonably.
Squealing in vexation, I pushed myself away from him and jumped up full of agitation. Pacing up and down in front of the couch, I was a confusing mass of emotions.
“Allison?” I could hear a touch of alarm in his voice. “What is it?”
“This isn’t going to work,” I said in panic. “I can’t handle it.”
“Allison!” James stopped me in mid pace, grabbing my shoulders and practically shaking me, apprehension coloring his tone. “Tell me!”
“I can’t control myself around you!” I yelled at him. “You make me nuts but I don’t do anything to you!”
I didn’t know which of us I was angrier with; me for being such an out-of-control idiot or him for not being enough of one.
As if to complete my humiliation, he laughed. I saw red. Kicking him as hard as I could in the shin I was gratified by his violent reaction.
“OW! You little…” he bent over grabbing his leg where my shoe had connected while I stood watching with my arms folded in front of me.
I wasn’t gratified for long.
Straightening up, eyes narrowed, he grabbed my upper arms and threw me onto the couch following quickly to pin me down saying “I’m going to have to train you better. This kicking/hitting thing is getting old.”
“That’s my whole point!” I cried in despair, struggling to get up. “We are so different; you don’t feel as strongly as I do about anything. You’re always so calm and contained and I can’t control my emotions. I practically throw myself at you every time we’re together and then you end up having to peel me off of you. I feel so stupid. I know you’ll get tired of me being so all over the place and then I’ll be crushed when you leave me.”
“Will you shut up and listen to me for a change,” he said between gritted teeth. “You are the most important person in my life. I love you now and forever. I will never leave you because my life would be empty and meaningless without you.”
“But you’re always pushing me away,” I wailed, wanting to be convinced but still not understanding. “Why do you keep doing that?”
“One of us has to,” he said in exasperation letting me sit up, “Unless you want to wind up an unwed mother in the middle of a shotgun wedding.”
“No of course not,” I protested, “but all I want…”
“I know what you want,” James said understandingly, “but I’m afraid I don’t have that much self-control. I have to call a halt to our…um…ardor before I lose what little self-control I do have. You don’t realize how hard it is for me to hold back.”
“What do you mean?” I asked reluctantly, hating to admit that I knew so little about men.
“You really are innocent aren’t you,” he said in wonder.
“I’m sorry if I’m not experienced enough for you,” I replied angrily. “Maybe I should ask Nat for some pointers,” I added acerbically.
“Don’t you dare!” he exclaimed, shocked. “I like you just the way you are,” his voice gentled.
“But I don’t know anything,” I wailed. “I’d never even kissed anyone until…” I stopped, eyes widening as I realized what I had unintentionally revealed.
“I was your first kiss?”
“Yes,” I whispered, head bowed.
“How did I get that lucky?”
“Lucky?” I echoed, jerking my head up to see if he was being facetious.
“You saved all of yourself just for me,” he said. “Not even knowing for sure I existed. What more could
I ask?”
“You’re glad I don’t know anything?”
Nat had always berated me for my lack of experience saying no man would ever want someone so ignorant.
“I can’t even begin to explain how deliriously happy I am that you’ve never belonged to any other man,” he shook his head at me. “Not even your lips. All mine,” he said softly as ours met in a kiss so exquisitely sweet it was all I could do to hold myself still determined not to totally lose control yet again.
As he pulled back, I started to ask “Have you ever…?” but I was too embarrassed to finish my question.
Thankfully, he understood immediately.
“I’m truly sorry to say I’ve kissed a few girls in my time,” he acknowledged ruefully, “but I’ve never had sex.”
“You haven’t…?” I asked hardly believing my good fortune.
“I haven’t,” he reassured me. “I knew someday I would meet the one woman meant for me. As many times as I was tempted, I just couldn’t bring myself to do that to my future wife. I freely admit it wasn’t easy, but it was worth it. Once we’re married we will both know that we never belonged to anyone else.”
“I’m glad,” I smiled tremulously.
“Now about this rejection kick you seem to be on,” James said with mock sternness, “There are a few things you need to realize about the male population of the species.”
“First—a man can’t always control what arouses him, especially if, like me, he chooses to abstain until marriage. From what I’ve been told, normal married men with a normal sex life tend to have more control. I’m hoping that’s right because at this point it’s almost painful for me at times.”
“Second—men are very…visual. If that weren’t the case, porn wouldn’t be such a huge money making business. You, my innocent little darling, are the most visually stimulating female I could possibly imagine. That alone makes it hard for me to reign myself in when I’m around you. Add that to how it feels to hold you in my arms and touch you…” he trailed off, but things were definitely becoming clearer to me.”
“You remember the first time we met, you called me hostile,” James reminded me. “I was angry with myself for not being able to stop my involuntary reaction to you. If I hadn’t been wearing a suit coat my…excitement…would have been extremely noticeable and potentially embarrassing in such a public place.”
“I’m sorry,” I whispered, “I had no idea.”
My ignorance horrified me. I wished I’d realizing what I had been doing to him.
“I’ll do better, I promise.”
“Allison,” James said gently, “Don’t try to change who you are. I’m fine; just learning my limitations and trying to work within them. I don’t want you to take anything I do in the wrong way. I would never reject you like I did your friend.”
“You mean when Nat asked you out?”
“Your friend Nat didn’t ask me out,” he corrected in amusement, “She asked me in.”
“What do you mean?”
“Let’s just say that on her wedding day wearing white would be a lie,” James hedged. “Unlike you,” he added tenderly.
“You mean she wanted to sleep with you?”
“Obviously she doesn’t share her exploits with you,” James said in surprise. “Sorry I brought it up. You were probably better off not knowing.”
“All of the guys she’s dated over the years…”
I couldn’t finish my thought it was too much to take in all at once. No wonder they were her slaves for life. I had known her since we were babies but apparently I didn’t know her.
“Not all of them,” James said in satisfaction. “Jason kept their relationship purely platonic. Not that he didn’t want to sleep with her, he was fascinated by her, fancied himself in love with her even to the point of thinking about marriage, but realized the night of the concert that she wasn’t exactly who he thought she was. Her carefully constructed facade fell apart right in front of his eyes that night. He’s still having a hard time forgetting her, but he knows now that it was all a physical attraction, not love. Believe it or not she offered to take him back, but he turned her down.”
“That’s a first,” I frowned. “He didn’t tell me about that. Maybe it’s because he’s the only one who’s ever stood up to her and did the dumping instead of waiting to be dumped. I secretly applauded him for that.”
“So you’re not offended that I don’t like her even though she’s your best friend?”
“She’s not my best friend,” I contradicted him, “that would be Elsee. She and Richard are just the only friends my parents have ever approved of so…”
“You’re not on that kick again are you?”
“As soon as Mrs. Fowlkes returns from her trip I plan on arranging a meeting between the three of us,” as an afterthought I added, “Correction, the five of us.” At his raised eyebrows I continued, “I want Mr. Fowlkes and your mother to be there as well.”
“Okay, but I still think you’re being melodramatic about it all,” he replied skeptically getting up from the couch, “and speaking of melodrama, I have a gift here with your name on it.”
“You have to open mine first,” I insisted, pointing to a small box hiding in the branches of the tree.
As he opened my gift, he was only half-paying attention, his eyes on me most of the time sending chills through my whole body. When he finally reached into the box and pulled out the leather wallet, he frowned.
“I thought you told Mom you weren’t going to spend your parents’ money on our gifts,” he said a bit reprovingly.
“I didn’t,” I replied smugly, having a hard time containing my excitement.
“Well, I know you’re talented but I had no idea you could knit a leather wallet.”
“Your mom gave me the idea,” I continued ignoring his sarcasm, determined not to let him dampen my enthusiasm. “I sold some of the things I made from the supplies Yvonne gives me for helping her out at the store and was able to buy your wallet with my own money.”
“This looks expensive,” he commented, examining the wallet carefully.
“Okay, so I sold a lot of things,” I smiled impishly. “Yvonne said everything went so quickly that she wished I’d made more. That wallet was actually one of the less expensive ones, but I liked it. Your old one is falling apart and I knew you needed a new one. Please say you like it whether you do or not.”
“I do like it. It’s by far the nicest one I’ve ever had; I just don’t like you spending all of your hard-earned money on me.”
“Soon it will be our hard-earned money.”
“And with that in mind…”
Gently reaching in between a couple of branches, he pulled another small box out from its hiding place deep within the Christmas tree. Opening the box, he took out the small shiny object nestled inside and lowering himself to the floor in front of me slid it onto the ring finger of my left hand asking formally,
“Allison Diane Tate would you do me the honor of becoming my wife?”