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Ha!Ha!Ha! Page 21

by Steve Beaulieu


  “What was that?” Eli shouted as the soldier climbed into the driver’s seat.

  “Salvation,” he said in what Eli immediately recognized as a southern drawl.

  “Air Force? Marines?”

  “No sir. Literally, Salvation.”

  Eli stared at the back of the driver’s chair, his mind processing what had been said.

  “You mean the Salvation?”

  “The very same,” he said, starting up the vehicle. “Hold on tight.”

  A voice came over the radio. “Split up and rendezvous at oh fourteen hundred. Be safe, boys.”

  Eli let a mile or three pass beneath the tires. Salvation hadn’t been seen in almost a year. The attack on Miami was devastating in every sense of the word. It wasn’t just the first real attack on U.S. soil since Pearl Harbor, it was the end of an era. Superheroes and villains had fought for decades, neither side ever truly having the upper hand. Salvation, the leader of the heroes, squared off on South Beach against nearly the entire Dark Cabal. When it ended, Miami didn’t exist anymore and no one had seen any of the supers or villains since.

  “You sure it was Salvation?” Eli asked.

  “You seen another man flying through the air at sonic speeds before?”

  It was kind of a dumb question because several of the supers could have done that.

  “Not to mention he was glowing—only he glows.”

  That was true. Eli couldn’t believe it. Salvation had returned and his first stop was…Afghanistan?

  Another mile passed as the military vehicle bounced and rumbled beneath him. The driver screamed and Eli’s world went black. He could make out the sound of metal crunching and the sound of fire crackling. A beat later, the smell of gasoline jarred him back to reality. He surveyed his surroundings—bodies were everywhere. The woman he’d been sitting next to, Deborah Vaughn, according to her name tag, was slumped over. Eli didn’t need to be a doctor to know she was already dead. Everyone was dead, including the soldier who had been driving.

  Eli rushed toward the door to the humvee and pushed. It wouldn’t open. He shouldered it, but it held tight. Fighting back panic, he glanced through the place where the windshield had been. Whatever had attacked them had done extensive damage to the front end. He knew he needed to get out. He’d seen a lot of movies and wasn’t sure if they were right—but he was pretty sure the thing would eventually blow up if the fire made its way to the gas tank.

  He crawled back to the window near where he’d been sitting. The glass had been blown out, but even then, it was a tight fit. Carefully, he began pushing himself through, feeling small pricks and cuts on his hands from the leftover shards. He flipped out, head over feet and landed on his back. The wind rushed from his lungs like he'd just been hit by a baseball bat in the gut.

  Struggling to breathe, he forced himself onto his hands and knees and began crawling away from the veritable time bomb. Once at a safe distance, he rolled over and faced the truck. From this vantage point, he could see the front wasn’t just damaged, it was completely crushed as if it had collided with something but nothing was there.

  In the distance, Eli could still hear explosions and gunfire. He’d never really thought about the smell of war but it was unlike anything he’d ever encountered. Sulfur and ash. Death and feces. The smells were overwhelming.

  It turned out, Hollywood wasn’t completely crazy. Fire erupted from the back of the Humvee and the metal carcass lifted into the air, tumbling end over end. As it flipped, the tail end crunched against…nothing…and bounced back the way it had come. The vehicle had just slammed into thin air like it was a brick wall. It was like there was an invisible forcefield in the middle of the hot Middle Eastern desert.

  Eli was sure his eyes were playing tricks. He’d heard of people seeing crazy things in the desert. They called it a mirage—cool pools of water and palm trees, or large cities that disappeared when you got close. Eli had even heard a story of a soldier who’d thought he’d seen a dozen or so naked women playing volleyball.

  Edging forward in the direction of the truck but not toward its exact position, he held his hands out like he was walking in the dark. As he drew near to where he would have guessed the invisible wall should be, he slowed down. He reached out, but felt nothing. Eli laughed. It was a macabre scene—blood, chaos, and a man laughing, alone in the middle of the desert. He shook his head and let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. His relief ended when a hand appeared out of thin air, scrunched up the front of his shirt and yanked him forward. He passed through the “nothing” and found himself standing on solid ground. The sand and desert could no longer be seen and the air was crisp and cool. And Eli was staring into the face of someone he thought he’d never see again.

  • • •

  Face to face wasn’t really a fair description. Eli’s eyes were chest level with what he could only describe as a giant. Trower the Tower stood before him, one of the many superheroes who had gone dark last year.

  “How did you find this place?” The man’s voice was almost humorously high in comparison to his size.

  What he referred to looked like a massive military base. Eli looked over his shoulder to the place he had just been standing but he no longer saw the desert. It was as if he was teleported into another…world, or realm, or…something.

  In the distance, he could see a mountain range. Not like desert mountains—an actual snow -covered, rocky mountain range.

  “Wh—where are we?” he asked.

  “I asked you how you found this place.”

  “I—I didn’t find an—anything. I w-was being trans—transported out of, of a war zone—”

  The words caught in Eli’s throat as he found himself being hauled up onto the big man’s shoulder.

  “Whoa! What are you doing?”

  “Shut up.”

  Eli punched the Tower in the back but soon gave up. It was like punching steel or rock. His hand hurt and he felt tears welling in his eyes. He thought he might have broken it. Watching as the asphalt passed beneath them, he craned his neck to look up and saw people watching as he was carried down the street. He felt like a fool. Like a child. But that’s when he noticed it. These weren’t just people watching him, but…they were all supers. The same supers who were last seen on the beaches of Miami. But what were they doing here? In Afghanistan?

  Another boom rattled everything and the Tower stopped walking immediately.

  “Relinquish him,” said a voice, strong and hard. “Now.”

  Trower put Eli down and it took a moment before he found his feet again. As Eli spun around, he could already see the bright red glow of Salvation. His knees weakened at the thought of being so close to the man who’d saved the world on more than one occasion.

  For a heartbeat, Eli thought he was going to receive some answers but instead, he just acquired more questions.

  “Is he one of them?” Salvation asked.

  “Don’t think so.”

  “Then why are you taking him there?”

  Where? Where was he taking Eli?

  “Because he saw The Mirage.”

  Salvation let out a deep breath and Eli sensed the hero was about to speak.

  “Excuse me?” Eli said.

  Salvation stared and lowered his gaze, locking eyes with Eli. The man was beyond words. Golden blond hair cascaded down his back. He wore bright white everything. A long flowing cape blew in a gust of wind that Eli didn’t even feel.

  “I—I don’t kn—know where I am. But if you jus-just let me go—”

  “No!” Tower’s normally high voice boomed from behind Eli.

  Salvation raised his hand to silence the big man.

  “How did he enter?” Salvation said, looking to Trower.

  Trower was easily a couple of feet taller than Salvation, but the atmosphere shifted noticeably. It was as if Salvation’s question brought with it a dump truck full of shame.

  Trower’s head hung low.

  “I brought
him in,” he said, his voice returning to normal.

  “And why did you do that?”

  “His truck—their vehicle crashed and he survived. They slammed into the wall. Had he died, it would have been much easier to clean up. But now, the breath in his lungs presents a threat to our secured existence.”

  “Our very name is a nod to the fact no one would believe him even if he reported the whole thing. Once he left, we’d have cleaned up the remains of the vehicle and they’d never find this place upon satellite searches.”

  Eli shifted uncomfortably as Salvation took a step forward.

  “Now we have to kill him.”

  “What? Wait! No, you don’t. That’s ridiculous. I won’t say anything. I don’t even know where we are. I was in the back seat—”

  “Silence!” Salvation’s voice rippled through the buildings.

  Eli was crying now.

  “Please,” he said, voice quavering.

  “Just take him with the others.”

  Trower reached down and pulled Eli back onto his shoulder. Eli fought, kicked, punched. He knew what he must have looked like. A toddler in the throws of a tantrum being dragged out of the grocery store by an embarrassed father.

  They entered a facility through a nondescript metal door and Eli screamed louder.

  “If you continue screaming I will be forced to silence you.”

  Eli resolved to quiet blubbering.

  “Please,” Eli whimpered. “Just let me go. I just want to go.”

  Another door opened into relative darkness. He could feel the bounce, bounce, bounce, of the two descending a staircase. As they reached a clearing, the smell of vomit met Eli’s nose. He tried to look around, but it was still dark and he was in a very inconvenient position.

  That’s when the jeers started.

  “Oh, another?”

  “Who is it?” said a man with a thick British accent.

  “I don’t recognize him.”

  “Looks like he’s crying,” said the first man.

  The creaking of a door tipped Eli off that he was about to be caged like an animal.

  “You don’t have to do this,” he said. “Please, just don’t.”

  “Begging didn’t work for any of us, lad,” said a voice from the cell next to him. “Save your dignity. You were the fool supervillain in a time of no supers. Deal with the consequences.”

  He was what? A supervillain? Eli wasn’t a supervillain. He wasn’t even a villain. They had this thing terribly wrong.

  Trower locked the door and stomped away.

  “What is this place? I didn’t do anything. You’ve got this all mixed up!” He was rattling the bars on his cage but if Trower heard anything at all, he gave no indication of it.

  It was so dark Eli could hardly see anything at all, so when the voice spoke he was startled.

  “So what did you do, boy? Rob a bank? Hold the president hostage?”

  “Aye! That was me!” shouted the man from across the hallway. They all laughed.

  “So what was it?”

  “Who’s there?” Eli said, backing away.

  “Don’t be shy, son. We are all one in this place.”

  “I don’t even know what you mean,” Eli said. “I am an army journalist.”

  “A journalist, eh? Papers?”

  “The internet. P—please, who are you?”

  He wished he hadn’t asked. Out of the darkness stepped a man—but he wasn’t fully a man. The lower half of his body was mechanical. Hydraulics hissed as he walked toward Eli. They were in the same cell. Why did the good guys put him in the same cell with a world renown supervillain?

  “Doctor Winter?”

  “Ah! You’ve heard of me. I am flattered and humbled. So, a journalist you say? Are you any good?”

  “I—uh—no. I don’t think so, really. I’m on probation.” His head hung low and then shot up as if he suddenly realized he was talking to the dastardly Doctor Winter. “But I’m not like you! I’m not a supervillain. I was just taking photos and conducting interviews on a base outside of Farah.”

  The half-robotic man laughed and soon the whole prison was laughing with him.

  “No powers?” the man said when he’d finally settled down.

  “Powers? What? No, I don’t have powers. I told you I’m just a journalist.”

  The man took another robotic step toward Eli and Eli could feel warmth spreading through his pants.

  “You hear that Vipe?” Winter was looking across the hallway to a cell where a man stood, back against the bars. “They’ve lost it now. They’ve become just like us! This kid says he has no powers. They’re just arresting anyone now.

  “It’s like the world’s gone mad and the great Salvation has become their king.” Whip Viper turned around. Eli cringed at the sight of the bright red snake tattooed on the man’s face.

  “Why am I in here?” Eli whispered, barely able to find his voice.

  “Same reason we all are,” Winter said. “You’ve found yourself on the wrong side of the law. On the wrong side of Salvation.”

  “E—Everyone in here is a supervillain?”

  “Not everyone. Most of them just have powers.”

  The man sat on a bench, his legs hissing and popping.

  “Everyone is in here for a reason, my boy. Except you it seems.”

  The man was oddly sincere for a violent murderer who’d once taken Chicago captive by ice storm. His eyes looked dull and old.

  “How long have you been here?” Eli asked.

  “I was one of the first. You could say these are my people now.”

  “Here, here!” came the chant of a few voices.

  “But why are they here?”

  Doctor Winter patted the bench. “Come. Sit.”

  “I’ll stand—if its all the same to you.”

  “Suit yourself,” Winter said and then placed his head against the cold stone wall before continuing.

  “After the Battle for Miami, the supers apparently decided we’d all had enough. They began gathering up anyone with powers—whether they were using them or not—and brought them here. The only one able to come and go as he pleases is Salvation. The rest of the heroes live up on the surface under constant scrutiny. Any of them step out of line and they end up here like Loch Ness.”

  He pointed to a woman in a cell a few paces down. Eli couldn’t see her, but he was familiar with the woman. She’d been one of those who fought Winter in Chicago as well as the Dark Cabal in Miami.

  “You ask me, I’d say Salvation has become the real villain around here,” she said in a thick Irish brogue.

  “If I could just talk to him,” Eli said, “I’m sure I can convince him I am harmless.”

  “Didn’t work for any of the others, why would it work for you?” As Winter spoke, several of the prisoners cried out in agreement.

  “They are all just like you. Several of them don’t even know how to use their powers. They just registered on ‘the test.’”

  “Test?”

  “The test was designed by Richter, a hero with the ability to gauge the power of anything in existence. His name, as you could guess, indicates he can judge earthquakes but it goes so much further than that. He can look at anyone and determine their strength and will. If anyone registers as a super-powered individual, they come here.”

  Eli looked at his surroundings, at the relatively small clustering of cells. He counted sixteen in total, but it was hard to see. There could have been as many as twenty. Each one was occupied by two or three prisoners.

  “This is it? These are all the super-powered people they’ve found? What are there like fifty of us—I mean, of you?”

  “Oh, heavens no.” Winter laughed. “This is just one small portion of what they call The Mirage. Throughout the fortress there are a dozen such rooms.”

  “Why don’t you just…use your powers? Break out?”

  “Son, if it were that easy, don’t you think we would have? We can’t use our powers wit
hin The Mirage. No one can, not even the supers.”

  “But I saw Trower—”

  “You saw him, what? Pick you up? You weigh a fraction of what he weighs. He could pick you up even without his super strength.”

  “But Salvation—”

  “Ah, yes. Salvation is another story. He is the only one who maintains his abilities within the fortress. No one knows where this place came from, but Salvation runs it.”

  “And none of the supers are upset?”

  “We suspect they are,” Winter said. “They are prisoners in their own right. But what are they going to do? Even if they all had their powers, they’d still be hard pressed to stop Salvation.”

  “But all of them together, plus you guys—you could stop him, right?”

  “It’s a pipe dream, son. We’ve done all we can. Techro even managed to summon his drones before Salvation installed the EMPs. They couldn’t find the place. They just hovered around outside in the desert until their batteries drained.”

  “So what do we do?” Eli asked.

  “We escape, of course.”

  “But you just said—”

  “I know what I said, boy—what is your name?”

  “Eli. Eli Zoeller.”

  “Yes, Eli. I know what I said, but listen between the words. We have become the good guys and the good guys always win, right?”

  “I don’t know. I don’t think this is some kind of comic book or movie. If no one has powers, how do we stop him?”

  A door creaked and heavy footsteps followed. Trower the Tower stood just outside of Eli’s cell.

  “You,” he pointed to Eli. “With me. You,” he pointed to Winter. “Do not move.”

  “Yes, oh god of my existence,” Doctor Winter said with a crooked smile. More laughs bellowed from the other villains.

  When the cell door opened, Eli stepped out.

  “Follow me. Try nothing stupid and I will not have to carry you like a baby.”

  Eli didn’t respond, but he followed the Tower closely. They ascended the stairs and exited into the open air of the complex known as the Mirage.

  “Where are we going?” Eli asked.

  He was met with only silence.

  A short while later, he saw a raised platform in the distance. He thought he’d once heard something like it referred to a dais. It appeared like something a king or queen’s throne would be housed on. It was made of rock and the only thing on it was a man. As Eli drew nearer, he could begin to see features upon the man’s face. The closer he got, the more unnerved he became. Where his eyes should have been was nothing but smooth skin, not unlike the man’s cheeks. His nose and mouth remained intact.

 

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