This is different.
Louden and I... it scares me to think it, but we’re making love.
The knowledge adds a delicious undercurrent to it all, and my fingers tighten around his neck as Louden keeps thrusting, the slapping of his cock lost in the deluge from the shower head, and I kiss him deeply, my tongue sweeping around his mouth even as his cock rubs over my g-spot and leaves me groaning for more. “Louden...”
Louden moans deeply in my ear, his cock speeding up a little bit, the thick base grinding against my clit as he kisses my neck, his breath coming in ragged gasps that sound almost like he’s sobbing it feels so good to both of us. I clutch at him, wanting him to release deep inside me, and time stretches out.
There’s only the water, the spray adding to the noise we’re making, the feeling of his body pressed against mine, his sobbing moans in my ear and his cock thrusting in and out.
It builds slowly, but that same slow build allows my orgasm to get bigger than anything we’ve done before. I’m soon trembling all over, my chest aching as I’m unable to breathe well enough to actually get enough oxygen in my body so that I’m not on the point of nearly passing out.
With a slight shift of his legs Louden somehow finds a new balance point, thrusting into me three times so fast that I’m pummeled over the edge, coming so hard that my fingernails bite into his shoulders hard enough that I know I’m drawing blood even as he cries out and explodes deep within me, my eyes rolling back to the point that I feel the world gray out.
When I come to we’re still in the shower, Louden pinning me against the tile while he gently supports me and withdraws, holding me safe and secure under the arm. “You okay?”
“Next time we do that, no water,” I reply is a shaky whisper. “I feel like I’m about to collapse and crack my skull open.”
Louden’s about to reply when we hear his doorbell ring, and we realize that we’ve lost all track of time. “Drawbacks of having a big water heater,” he says with a weak laugh, helping me out. He sits me on the toilet, shutting off the water before sticking his head out his bathroom window to holler down to the delivery guy. “Gimmie two minutes!”
Pulling his head back inside, Louden gives me an amused smile. “You stay here, gather your strength. Use one of the bathrobes if you want, I’ll get the food and come back up to help you downstairs so we can eat.”
After a fun dinner, where every bite of fried rice, kung pao shrimp, and fried chicken wings helps me recover a little bit of my strength, Louden lends me a pair of his basketball shorts and a t-shirt, my own clothes are still too wet. “You look good in them,” he says as he helps me into the car. “You’re sure you’re okay? You can stay the night if you want.”
I shake my head, patting his cheek. “The way your daughter is supposed to meet me is not mostly naked in her father’s bed. I’m fine, really.”
Louden grins, and gives me a kiss. “She’s going to so enjoy meeting you when the time is right. Okay, I’ll drive you home, and I’ll come by your office with your stuff on Tuesday for our meeting.”
Back at home, I relax, putting on some fresh underwear but keeping Louden’s clothes on, they just feel right. Still, I’m disturbed a little as I sit back and turn on my laptop, hoping that I don’t have any pressing e-mails.
We’ve been out a few times now. We’ve had sex... well, honestly I’ve lost count, all I know is that I’ve had more sex in the past few weeks with Louden than I’ve had in the past few years. And tonight, the idea that we were actually making love added to the flavor.
But we haven’t used any special words for each other. Sure, we talk about being in a relationship, and Louden compliments me all the time. But he’s never called me his girlfriend, and we’ve never exchanged words that say there’s an emotional connection.
It’s a little thing, and I know that I haven’t told Louden how much he’s starting to mean to me. But I guess it’s either my fear or my old fashioned-ness coming through, I want him to say it first.
I’m just closing down my e-mail to go on a Hulu binge of guilty pleasure television when there’s a knock on my door, and I have the stupid hope that it’s Louden, telling me that his daughter’s decided to stay the night at grandma’s and can I please come join him at his house, oh and he’s head over heels for me?
Yeah, not going to happen, I know Louden well enough to know that. Still, there’s a little pep in my step as I head to my door and I open it to see Cassandra standing there, all glowers and dark colors and overall BoPo feminism personified. “Hey Cassie, what’s up?”
Cassandra raises an eyebrow when she sees my t-shirt and shorts, shaking her head. “You’re fucking him still.”
I look down, tugging at Louden’s t-shirt, a Mount Reston basketball shirt from one of their pre-season tournaments last year. “Yeah, and?”
Cassandra pushes past me, heading for my living room while talking over your shoulder. “You’ve been practically MIA half the time I’ve called, out of the office or just not answering your phone, and later on you’re claiming that you’re having meetings with Louden.”
“Wait,” I say, holding up a hand. “What gives you the right to say who I can spend time with?”
Cassandra turns and gives me a raised eyebrow. “Gimmie some credit, Denise. I’m fat, not stupid, and I’m no BP airheaded slut. I know some people over at Mount Reston, and I’ve been keeping my ear to the ground. Looking out for you, mostly, especially after you and Mr. Stud-Muffin were hooking up. Jesus Denise, you really don’t know much about him, do you?”
“I know more than you’d think,” I say defensively. “I mean, we talked about his modeling shots, he says they were to pay for some expenses right after he didn’t get drafted.”
Cassandra nods, snorting. “Yeah, his baby’s mama. Christ, do you know what the streets say about this guy? He’s a player of the highest caliber, who’s already gotten one girl pregnant and didn’t stay with her. God knows how many girls he was fucking on the side when he was with her. You know what pregnancy weight can do to a girl.”
“Louden isn’t like that!” I say, maybe a little more shrilly than I intended. “He told me about his daughter, she spent the day at her grandmother’s house while we went on a date!”
“A date? Riiight,” Cassandra says, opening my laptop. She’s had a terrible habit of just using it without asking, even though it has patient files on it, so after about the fourth time I just made her a guest account, and password locked my files. She pulls up the guest desktop and puts in a memory stick she pulls from her pocket, opening a file. “Let me guess, he’s never had you meet any of his friends, or his daughter, or anyone like that.”
“No, but I mean, we just started dating,” I reply, sitting down across from her. “As for friends, Louden seems to be the kind of person who’s got most of his friends through his work. He talks a lot about Coach Two Eagles, a few of the other coaches at Mount Reston, and a few of the guys he used to play with. And he’s friends with his ex, the so-called ‘baby’s mama.’ Why?”
“Has he told you he had a date with Melissa Kelly?” Cassandra says, turning my laptop around. It’s not a great shot, it was taken indoors and from a cell phone, but I can see Louden for sure, some tall woman grinding on him and reaching for the crotch of his jeans. “She’s the head women’s basketball coach.”
“He... he told me that he’d had another date after I tried to keep it professional between us,” I whisper, shocked by what I see. “He said that he wasn’t interested.”
“That’s not what’s going around campus,” Cassandra says. “According to what I’ve heard, she’s going in and out of his office all the time, leaving no questions how hard she can play his post.”
I wince, it’s the sort of nasty jibe that I hate, but Cassandra’s skilled with. “It’s rumors. Has anyone actually seen them, you know...?”
“Fucking?” Cassandra says, and I nod. “I don’t think they need to, do you? Open your sex-crazed eyes, Denise! Y
ou’re being used by a pretty boy. Hell, check out this Melissa Kelly!”
Cassandra hits a button and my web browser pops up, two tabs that have her in a bikini, all tits and ass and six pack abs over a face that, at least what the caption says, is supposed to be selling sunglasses. The other tab is from a men’s magazine, calling her The Hottest Three Points You Can Ever Try And Score. It makes me sick, and I shudder, pushing the laptop away. “So? She’s pretty. But he said he had a date, and since then we’ve been out plenty of times.”
“Yeah, you’re getting sidepieced,” Cassandra says harshly. “Denise, I’m not trying to hurt you, I’m trying to make sure you don’t hurt yourself! He’s just another paternalistic, misogynistic BP who is coming to you to get his nut off when his main piece is too busy to give him what his sexist ass really wants....”
“Enough!” I yell, cutting off Cassandra just as she’s warming up into her rant. “Enough, Cassandra! I’m not in the mood to listen to your five minutes hate on men and everything else in the fucking world! Just... back the fuck off, will you?!?!”
Cassandra looks like I just slapped her, and maybe verbally I have. Honestly, she’s been deserving of a good verbal smackdown for awhile now. Every time I try and find some sunshine in the world, she’s there to bring a storm cloud. It’s just more than I can take right now.
She sniffs, and pulls the memory stick from my computer, closing the desktop down. “Well, I see. Fine, you need to process it all, I got you. I’ll see you later.”
She gets up and starts to leave, and I feel like hell. She wasn’t trying to hurt me, I’m sure of it, and I clear my throat, calling out to her before she reaches my front door. “Cassandra?”
“Yeah?” she asks, turning back and looking at me with her eyes glittering angrily. “Want to call me piggy some now? Maybe that I’d be more chill if I just got laid by a BP stud-muffin every once in a while?”
I sigh, shaking my head. She’s not perfect… but none of us are. And she’s my friend. “No. I wanted to say I know you were trying to look out for me. I’m sorry I blew up at you.”
Cassandra shakes her head, sighing. “Okay. Listen, you still need some processing time, I’m gonna go. I’ll see you for the BoPo meeting.”
Cassandra leaves, and I sit back on my couch, shaking my head. She’s got to be wrong. I mean, Louden said he had a date. Just because he didn’t tell me the name of who he’d been out on a date with doesn’t mean he’s two-timing me.
I’m no side piece.
Am I?
Chapter 17
Louden- Ultimatums
“Come on Coach G!” someone yells, and I strain under the bar a little harder, trying to get the heavy fucking weight on my back the rest of the way up. Up until this set, I’ve followed the strength protocol I have my very players on, but of course I decided to show I’ve still got it, so in addition to the heavy latex bands, I threw an extra twenty pounds of plates for this set, going over the protocol for some dumb damn reason.
Actually, I know why.
I’ve started to feel the glances from the athletes, and even some of the other coaches, around the athletic center. The worst is the members of the girl’s basketball team, who seem to have found their hobby for the rest of the semester before we go on summer break, mainly busting my balls over their head Coach.
On the other hand, I know a few people have started to ask questions about me and Denise, and so they’re making a jump that really worries me, that I’m seeing both women. That’s all I need, isn’t it? A rumor of me being a player, seeing two women at the same time.
Fuck.
My.
Life.
I need to work off the stress somehow, and the weight room is the one place where I can do that safely. With Cathy staying with me, I can’t vent at home, it’d make me a shitty father and I won’t do that. And I can’t take this to the other coaches or people I work with, they’ll wonder what the hell is wrong with me for turning down Melissa anyway, or they won’t believe me that I’m not two-timing Denise.
I can’t even go to Denise, for some reason the past few days she’s not been returning my calls or e-mails.
So I take all of it out down here, even though I know with every extra pound I lift some of the same people who are whispering behind my back are saying I’m doing it to show off for my ‘new girlfriend.’ At least some of rumor mill is divided between if that girlfriend is Denise, who some people are starting to put two and two together on, or Melissa Kelly, rather than both.
I just let them talk, I don’t need the distraction. Besides, I’ve learned the truth, you can’t fight a rumor.
“Come on, hot stuff! Your girlfriend’s bigger than that!” a female voice joins, and a few people laugh. I nearly dump the bar, but hang on long enough to complete the lift before I rack it, turning around once I’m sure the bar is safe to see Jessie and Nalia, two starting members of the girls basketball team, snickering behind their hands.
“Which one of you said that?” I ask, pissed off. “Jessie? Nalia?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about Coach Graham,” Nalia says innocently in her Southern drawl. “You know, when you’ve got a lot of weight you start hearing things. Last time I saw anyone with that much weight on the bar they said they started hearing Jesus about halfway up.”
I look around at the other players, but they’re not going to say a damn thing. I might be a ‘cool’ coach, but I’m staff, they’re students. Unless I can directly affect their playing time, they won’t betray their fellow players for me.
I’m pissed, but there’s nothing I can do about it. “Fine. Then the show’s over, get back to your own lifts.”
The crowd breaks up, and I go over to the glute ham raise machine as soon as my bar is unloaded , ignoring my rest period to start my next movement. I’m just setting my feet when Coach Loggins comes over, concerned. “Louden, hold on a second.”
“Can’t, Gil,” I say, wiping my forehead. “Got shit to do.”
“No you don’t, I know your schedule too,” he says, putting a hand on the big semi-circular pad that I need to use, blocking me. “You’re down here more than the beach lifters, man.”
“Got a lot of energy, that’s all,” I whisper, looking him in the eyes. “Stress to turn into something useful.”
Coach Loggins looks me in the eye, then shakes his head. “You keep this up, you’re going to tear something. I’m gonna give you a little bit of slack today, what those girls did was bullshit, but if I see you down here going apeshit like this one more time, I’m telling the staff to keep you out for a week, no exceptions. You don’t need to go into the summer trying to rehab a torn labrum or something.”
I shake my head. “Dammit Gil, some things are more important than a labrum.”
“You mean like dealing with Melissa Kelly?” he asks quietly. He knows the deal, he’s seen her constant hitting on me. “Just tell her no in no uncertain terms, Louden. She’s not your type, I can see that.”
“Yeah well, she isn’t taking the message. But I’ll try.”
I finish up my workout, and go into the locker room, taking a shower before I head upstairs to get to work. I’m just stepping out of the shower area, a towel wrapped around my waist, when I’m shocked to see Melissa in the men’s staff locker room, wearing just a sports bra and a barely legal set of running shorts. “Hey stud. My girls just told me I missed quite the show. Then again, I’m getting quite the show right now.”
“Melissa, I’m not interested,” I reply, turning away and going to where I’ve hung my clothes. “I’d like you to leave me alone. I don’t want to date you, I don’t want to go out to drinks with you, and I don’t want to fuck you.”
Melissa crosses her arms under her breasts, lifting an eyebrow. “I don’t care.”
I stop, my t-shirt in my hands, turning back to her shocked. “You what?”
Melissa laughs, leaning against the wall. She reaches into her shorts and pulls out a cell phone, sn
apping a picture of me in just my towel, grinning. “Got ya. And I said I don’t fucking care. You see Louden, when I found out Mount Reston was looking for a womens basketball coach, I checked around with some of the other girls I’ve played with. Did you know that the backup point guard for Orlando used to play for Mount Reston?”
“Of course I know, she’s in the media guide every year,” I grumble, wishing I could think of a way to get my damn clothes on without dropping my towel. “So what?”
“So, when you were a sophomore and she was a junior, you two hooked up at a Kappa Rho frat party,” Melissa says, smirking. “Now, according to her, even though you were just nineteen, you fucked her so good that she said she was ruined for other guys for the next six months. Even now, what is it, ten years later?”
“Just about,” I say in a choked voice. I remembered the girl too, it had been right before I started going out with Lana, in fact. God, I thought I’d died and gone to heaven that night, she let me do shit I’d only seen in pornos before. Not that she compares to Lana or Denise. “So what?”
“So, she’s still got the hots for you,” Melissa says. “She says that your cock is the sort of thing that they should make latex models of so that lonely housewives have a real satisfying experience to liven up their lives once in a while. She said that she’s had all sorts of guys since then, and not one of them compared to you. So, like I said, you’re not interested? I don’t really care.”
“You can’t make me fuck you,” I growl, grabbing my clothes. “Now leave, before I call Coach Loggins in here to complain.”
Love At Every Size Page 15