by Tilly Kane
I murmur my words of comfort into her hair, stroking her back and hopefully letting her feel everything right now.
And yeah, I’m crying too. I can’t help it, honestly. Feeling those emotions rolling through her, and knowing she’s crying for all the time we lost, I can’t help but let myself cry too. It’s my fault we’re in this situation in the first place. And I can never go back and change that. All I can do is pray that this perfect girl might give me a chance again.
“Honey,” I whisper into her hair once her sniffles have mostly subsided, “I meant what I said earlier. I never ever stopped loving you. I love you right now, I’ve loved you forever.”
My voice breaks on that last word. Daisy hears it, I know, because she pulls back from me to scan my expression. Surely she knows how serious I am now, right? She knows that I mean what I’m saying.
At my own tear-stained face, her eyes widen and I watch as she gently brushes away a few errant tears. God, she’s lovely. So damn lovely.
That’s really the last thought I have though, because suddenly her lips are on mine and I’ve never felt anything so right in my entire life. It takes me a split second to accept that this is actually happening right now -- it’s not a dream, even though I’ve dreamt of this more times that I’d like to admit.
No, this is real. Her warm, plump lips are fused with mine, and I can’t kiss her back hard enough. I devour her, parting her lips with my tongue and groaning in relief when she lets me in. I’m torn between wanting to take my time getting reacquainted with her and wanting to indulge as much as I can before whatever spell we’re under breaks.
Her hands trail up and down my back, so sweet, so gentle, but that’s enough to almost make me break down. I want to get down on my knees in front of her and worship her for the rest of my life.
I pull myself away from her mouth, fully intending to put some distance between us so we can talk. But her face is still tipped up, her eyes closed, as if she’s just waiting for my kiss. That expression draws me in once more, but instead of capturing her lips, I place kisses all along her face, from her hairline, to her temples, to her adorable little nose, to her cheekbones, her chin -- everywhere in between. I can’t stop myself. I’ve suddenly been granted access to touching and kissing her again, and I’ll do anything to keep it.
“Chase,” she whimpers, opening her eyes while I move on to kissing her neck. She digs her hands into my hair, lightly scratching my scalp, and nothing has ever felt better.
“Tell me what you need, beautiful,” I say, “I’ll do anything for you.”
I don’t miss the way her eyes grow heated. My sweet girl always had a bit of a dirty side.
“I need you… everywhere, inside me, please,” she pleads, and I nearly lose it.
Ultimately, it’s that plea that breaks me. I pull her into another scorching kiss, only this time I reach down to cup her ass and gently lift her up so her legs are wrapped around my waist. The weight of her on that aching part of me nearly makes me come right there.
When I lay her down on my bed, all writhing and beautiful, I just want to stare at her for ages. But her little whimpers and flushed cheeks let me know that I need to make her come ASAP.
“Chase,” she groans, “I need you.”
And suddenly, my hands are on her legs, her thighs, higher, higher still. I look up at her face just as my hands reach under her dress.
She’s looking down at me, her eyes glazed over and a small smile on her face. When she catches my eye, her smile widens a little and she nods.
“Please,” she whispers, and that’s it, I’m a man untethered.
I try not to be too impatient as I shove her dress up to reveal her little lace panties. What I want is to tear them off in one movement, baring her most intimate place to my eyes.
Instead, I force myself to be slow, no matter how much her writhing increases or her begging grows louder.
I press a kiss to her panty-covered sex, and the scent of her arousal nearly causes me to lose it right there. I drag open-mouthed kisses all over her mound while inhaling deep deep deep -- her scent drives me crazy. God, I can’t wait to feel how wet she is.
“Take them off,” she demands, as if reading the direction of my thoughts. “Please, Chase…”
“Shh, honey. You’re always so impatient. Let me savor you,” I tell her, and the look she gives me is pure frustration with a mix of arousal.
Finally, I put her out of her misery and drag her soaked panties all the way down. But not before I miss how difficult it is to drag that wet lace down from her cunt, where it wants to stick to her wet slit. It’s the hottest thing I’ve ever seen.
Once the panties are off, I’m free to really take her in. And I do. I stare in disbelief for a second. Of seeing her again. Of having her so close. I nuzzle my face in the tiny patch of hair she keeps just above her slit.
“You smell incredible, honey. I want to wear you on me forever.” And with that, I finally part her sweet pussy lips and look my fill. She’s soaked and glistening and all mine. I have no intention of letting her go ever again.
8
Daisy
Chase finally seems to get his fill of just staring at me in my most intimate place. He parts me and slowly -- so slowly, that fucker -- runs his tongue through my parted folds. He’s tasting me, savoring me like he said he wanted to, and it’s possible I have never been this turned on in my life. When was the last time I had someone doing this for me?
It was Chase, you dummy.
Ah right. Somehow, I’d forgotten that fact until the man was face deep in my pussy. I’ve definitely been with other guys, but I’ve never let any of them eat me out. Chase was my first and my only.
And then he left me and I never wanted to let anyone do that again. It felt too intimate, too much like love.
Chase pulls back, staring up at me with a question in his eyes.
“What?” I ask, feeling exposed in every way possible.
He waits a minute before responding. When he does, his voice is somber and tight.
“You’re thinking, aren’t you? About before?” he asks.
And all I can do is nod, not trusting myself to speak lest I’m unable to stop my tears again.
Chase curses under his breath and places his forehead against my skin, just above my aching mound. Why is he stopping? Does he think I want him to stop?
“No,” I pant, “please don’t stop. Please,” I say, and I’m practically begging at this point. I can feel him slipping away with each passing second.
He shakes his head, his forehead still resting on me as he places tiny kisses everywhere, from the top of my slit to higher, first kissing my right then left hip. It feels so sweet, but I’m also very aware of the fact that he’s no longer setting up camp down where I want him the most.
He climbs up my body to rest his head next to mine on the pillow. I’m probably not doing the best job of not looking pissed off, because he gives me a gentle kiss on the forehead and murmurs his apology before pulling away and sitting up against the headboard.
I’m still just lying here, dress hiked up around my hips, panties lost to the ether, pussy out and practically sobbing at being denied this pleasure. And I’m not gonna lie, I’m a little grumpy about it. But still, I pull my dress down and sit up next to him.
“I’m sorry. I just think we need to talk more… about everything. I don’t want you to feel like all I’m after is you in my bed, because --”
“I don’t feel like that,” I say, interrupting his foolish explanation.
“I just want to make sure I’m doing this right. You mean so much to me,” he says.
Ugh, fine.
I nod, waiting for him to continue. After a beat, he does.
“Okay, be honest here. Do I have a chance? Because if you don’t see this ever working between us again, I don’t -- I can’t -- fuck it, I won’t do something casual with you. I’m not doing the fuckbuddy thing. I’ll still work at being your friend but I’ll s
top trying to make a relationship between us happen again.”
I stare at him, dumbfounded and honestly, a little angry too.
9
Chase
I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t more than a little terrified of her response. What if she says I actually don’t have a chance? That would fucking suck. But I wasn’t lying -- I really don’t want casual with her, so it would be better if we made sure we were both on the same page before moving forward.
She is quiet for a long time, and I try not to be impatient about it. I know I put her on the spot and it probably wasn’t very fair. I am just about to open my mouth to tell her that I don’t need an answer right away, that she can take her time in making a decision, when she finally speaks.
“I honestly don’t know,” she says, almost whispering. Her face is turned down, her eyes on her hands as they move restlessly through my comforter, finding a loose thread and pulling at it.
“Chase, I’m sorry, I just -- this is -- I really didn’t expect this,” she blurts out, all in a rush like she can’t contain the words anymore. “I can’t lie to you and say I don’t still love you, but I also don’t know if I want to be in love with you. I don’t know if that’s smart.”
My heart spasms painfully as I hear her words. First, the fact that she could even still love me after all this time is more than I ever dared to wish for. But then, the fact that I hurt her so much that she doesn’t want to love me -- that’s a slice right to the gut. I don’t blame her -- of course I don’t. But god, I’ve never wanted a time machine more than I do right now, so I could go back and stop myself from making the biggest mistake of my life.
“Say something,” she pleads.
What is there for me to say? I don’t know how to navigate this.
“Baby, I’m trying to be respectful of your wishes right now. I’m trying to let you come to this decision on your own. I don’t know what to say without pressuring you to take me back.”
At this, she tosses her hands up in the air, pushing up onto her knees and turning to face me with fury in her eyes. “Maybe I want you to pressure me! Fight for me, goddammit! Tell me you made a stupid mistake, tell me why I should take you back. Tell me you want me. My god, just fucking beg already.”
“I -- what? I’m -- Daisy,” I sputter, clearly unable to form words with my broken brain.
“You’re trying to be all noble and I get that, I really do,” she says, “but stop it. I don’t need you to be noble right now. I need you to prove that you know what a mistake you made and you want another chance to make it right. I want you to explain, in excruciating detail, what was going through your head four years ago, and what’s going through it now.”
She holds up a hand before I even open my mouth. “And I’m fully aware that I’m contradicting what I said to you on the first night, and I’m sorry for that, I am. But that’s where I’m at right now, okay?”
Of course, I understand what she needs from me right now. She needs to know that I’m not just seeking her out because we’re both in the same place again, but rather because I want her -- and only her -- forever.
She’s staring at me, I can feel it. I dare to look up and meet her eyes, and the pain I see there makes me want to die. She’s so sweet and gorgeous, and those big brown eyes full of tears make me ache everywhere. A tear escapes and starts a path down her cheek. Before she can wipe it away, I reach out with my thumb and capture it before pulling it into my mouth.
Daisy wrinkles her nose, a spark of humor replacing some of the pain in her eyes. “Gross,” she says.
I shrug. “Can you blame me for wanting all of you?”
Some of that humor fades a bit before she looks away.
Well, here goes nothing.
“I want to start by saying that I’m so sorry. And I know you know that, but I’ll keep saying it. Leaving you was the biggest mistake of my entire life. If you let me, I’ll make it up to you every day as long as I live.”
Dramatic? Yes. 100% true? Also yes.
“I also need to admit to you that I haven’t been with anyone since I left you.”
“You haven’t dated?”
I cock my head to the side. I suppose I underestimated how surprising of an admission this would be.
“I haven’t dated, sure, but I also haven’t been with anyone physically. It’s just been me and my hand for the past four years.” I shoot her a sheepish grin as I wave my right hand at her. She blushes and ducks her head.
“Why?” she asks. And she’s all sweetness and gentle curiosity.
“Because at first I couldn’t even think of being with anyone else, and then -- well, I missed you. And I liked my last memory with a partner being one of us together. Having a one-night stand with some stranger seemed like it would be tainting my last pure, perfect memories of being with you.”
She struggles to make sense of this revelation. “But… you… would have had to move on eventually, right? I mean, you didn’t know you’d see me again or even have a another chance.”
I gave her a small smile. “I hoped, I guess. I just had a feeling.”
“Hmm,” is her only response. She worries her bottom lip. “I haven’t been celibate these past few years. I didn’t -- I couldn’t --”
I reach out to capture her hand and quiet her explanation. “Shhh, honey. It’s okay. I didn’t expect you to be. My only hope was that they treated you well and you had fun. Because I won’t hesitate to beat some college kid’s ass if I have to,” I tell her, only partly joking.
She squeezes my hand where I hold onto hers, and I brace myself for the loss of our skin touching, but instead of letting go, she pulls my hand closer to her, all the way up to her lips. She brushes a kiss on each individual knuckle. I can’t help myself -- I reach for her with my other hand and pull her into my lap.
“Is this okay?” I ask, as she gets comfortable on me, her back to my front, her delicious weight on me stirring my dick back to life.
She nods, but then I realize this position won’t do.
“I need to be able to see your face,” I explain, as I position her so that she’s essentially straddling me on the bed. The position allows me to get wrapped in her the way I need, while also being able to see into her perfect eyes.
I don’t miss the way she shifts a little, grinding ever so slightly on my dick which is fast approaching painfully hard. When I let out an involuntary moan, her eyes flash in mischief as she bites down on her bottom lip. I close my eyes against the visual assault of her getting turned on by my torture.
She laughs and for a split second, I almost feel like we’re back in her dorm room, years ago, like nothing’s changed between us. But that’s not true. Most things have changed. So, even though it feels amazing having her in my arms like this, I also know that I’m not done explaining myself yet.
“My whole life, I’d heard my mom talk about how terrible my dad was, about how he didn’t take care of his family, about how he was a bum who knocked up a young girl with promise and turned her into another pregnant housewife. All of that was drilled into me from such a young age, about how I needed to be more responsible than my no-good dad. And, I dunno, shit. I think I took that to heart maybe a little more than I should have.”
She interrupts my speech with a kiss on the lips, which I allow myself to savor for a moment, but I pull away before we go any further. I need to get this out.
“So, with that knowledge in my head, I couldn’t stop thinking about becoming him, or not becoming him I guess. A few months before I met you, I had already decided to leave LA and move back home to Chicago with my mom for a bit. I applied to a bunch of construction jobs and apprenticeships, but then I kind of forgot about them because I was so wrapped up in us. Just as it hit me that I could very well be limiting you the way my dad did to my mom, I got accepted into one of the apprenticeships. And I don’t know, it just seemed like a sign. I couldn’t ask you to wait for me or do long distance or any of that.”
“B
ut I would have,” she says fiercely, and I kiss her then. Hard.
When we break apart, I smooth the wrinkle between her brows. “Baby, I know. But I couldn’t let you do it. Because you wouldn’t see anything wrong with waiting for me, with having a long-distance boyfriend while in college, while you were supposed to be having the time of your life. And I just couldn’t put you in that position. I’m so sorry. I was stupid. If I had the chance to do it all again… I’d probably be a little better at communicating these thoughts to you. But the impulse to protect you from me will always be there.”
She nods but doesn’t say anything else for a long moment. We simply stare into each other’s eyes, until I realize we’re both fighting back tears. Finally, after a seemingly interminable amount of time, she nods again, the tears gone.
“I forgive you,” she says, “and I want to try this again with you.”
It’s the sweetest grouping of words I’ve ever heard, possibly the sweetest group of words in the entire world. I’m so in awe of her that I almost miss what happens next. Almost.
In a swift movement, she’s pulled her dress off, exposing her flawless body to me. “Chase,” she whispers, “I need you, please.”
10
Daisy
Finally. I’ve waited four years to have this again, and if it makes me a sucker for taking him back so easily, well that’s too bad. I need him, he’s all I’ve ever wanted. My perfect Chase.
My perfect Chase who is currently looking at me like a man on a mission.
Once I throw my dress off, he growls, letting his eyes roam over my sheer black bra that shows literally everything. He groans and my nipples pucker even more, aching to be touched the way I know only he can touch me.
Suddenly, I’m flipped onto my back and the bra is off and his hot mouth is on me, everywhere, and oh, oh, oh… that feels perfect. He wraps his mouth against my nipple and sucks, laving the peaked bud before nipping it with his teeth and watching the shudder that racks me.