by Force, Marie
“I’m honored to be first,” Curt says, “and it’s a pleasure to meet you, Flynn. I’m a big fan of your work.”
“Thank you, it’s nice to meet you, too. Thanks for being there for Natalie when she needed you.”
“It was always a pleasure to work with her. What can I do for you today?”
We exchange glances, and Flynn nods for me to go ahead. “I know it goes without saying that we’re a little leery after what happened with David Rogers.”
“Which was unfathomable. I knew him a little, and what could’ve driven him to betray you so badly… You have nothing to worry about where I’m concerned. I assure you of my utmost discretion.”
“I told Flynn we could count on you. Thank you for that.” Suddenly nervous, I clear my throat. “Since we spoke last week,” I say haltingly, “I’ve discovered some additional facets of my husband’s personality. Specifically, he’s a sexual dominant.”
“Oh, I see.”
“I kept that from Natalie before we were married because I had myself convinced I could live without that before I could live without her.”
“And how did Natalie find out?” Curt asks.
“Through a series of unfortunate events,” Flynn says. “I take full responsibility for failing to tell Natalie something she should’ve known about me before she bound herself to me for life, and I take full responsibility for her hearing about it from someone other than me.”
“How do you feel about that, Natalie?”
“While I agree that he should’ve told me, I understand why he didn’t. He was thinking of me above himself, and it’s hard to be angry with him when he was willing to sacrifice so much to be what I need.”
“Since all of this came to light, Natalie has expressed a genuine interest in exploring the lifestyle with me. Though we’ve had in-depth conversations about what it would entail and have gone so far as to negotiate a consensual contract, I’m reluctant to move forward before we have some professional advice about what, if any, impact it could have on her ongoing recovery from the assault.”
“I think you’re very wise to ensure that base is covered before you proceed,” Curt says. “Natalie, can you tell me about your interest in the activities Flynn has proposed?”
“I’m curious,” I say, glancing at Flynn, who’s watching me the way he always does. “I’m intrigued.”
“I notice you don’t say you’re frightened.”
“I’m nervous, of course, and a bit anxious about what might happen if I don’t like it or can’t be what he wants—”
“I have to stop you right there, Nat. You are what I want.” For Curt’s sake, he adds, “I’ve told her that in every way I can think of. We’ve already had sex twice today—great sex, the kind of sex people dream about having. The connection between us is nothing less than combustible. The things we’re talking about adding would only complement an already amazing sex life. But if all we ever have is what we already have, that would be enough for me.”
“Then why add this element?” Curt asks.
“Let me,” I say, my hand on Flynn’s arm. “I recently told Flynn that I feel like I’ve been asleep my whole life until he awakened me. With him, I’ve discovered desire and passion and satisfaction that I never dreamed possible. I’ve gone from thinking I’d never have a normal sexual relationship to having sex multiple times a day and enjoying it more than I ever thought I would.”
“The honeymoon stage does wear off after a while,” Curt says with a smile.
I glance at my husband. “I don’t know if it will in our case.” I squeeze his arm, drawing a smile from him. “Flynn tells me there can be more, and I want it all. As long as I’m with him, I know I’ll be cared for and treasured and loved at every step along the way. I trust him more than I’ve ever trusted anyone in my life.”
Flynn wraps his hand around mine and squeezes. “What’s your take, Doc? Will Natalie be okay if we proceed down this road?”
“PTSD in all its many forms can be a tricky thing. You think you’re fine, and then something happens, such as the thing with your hands on your wedding night, and it rears its ugly head. I’m reluctant to provide any assurances that Natalie will be totally fine. There are apt to be bumps, moments of genuine fear, flashbacks or even triggers that bring back the past trauma. That said, it seems that you have been able to get past these challenges before and may be able to do so in the future.”
“May be able to,” Flynn says. Trust him to home in on that one word. “What if Natalie can’t get past it?”
“Then I’d recommend that whatever activity caused the reaction be ceased immediately and possibly permanently.”
“But you’re not recommending we don’t try this at all?” Flynn asks.
“Natalie says she’s intrigued, curious, interested. Never once has she said she’s afraid. That’s important.”
“I’m not afraid.” I swallow hard, trying to suppress the memory of the dream that reopened old wounds. I know I should tell them both about the dream, but I’m so tired of revisiting the past. I want to move forward with my amazing husband. I want us to have everything we want and deserve. “I want to live fearlessly.”
“You see why I love her so damned much?” Flynn says softly.
“I do,” Curtis says, smiling. “I encourage you to live fearlessly, Natalie, but I also urge you to proceed cautiously. Baby steps. Ease your way into this a little at a time to see what works for you and what doesn’t. Don’t be afraid to use whatever word you’ve agreed upon that stops everything. And keep the lines of communication wide open. Talk about it afterward, what you liked and didn’t like, what you’d like to do again and what you wouldn’t. That’s going to be critical to ensuring a successful experiment.”
“We’re getting pretty good at the talking thing,” Flynn says, glancing at me.
I nod in agreement.
“That’s an excellent place to start,” Curt agrees. “I’d like you to check in with me, Natalie, perhaps weekly for a while, if that works for you.”
“Sure, that would be fine.”
“I’m only a phone call away if you should ever need me—day or night. Don’t hesitate to call.”
“Thank you so much, Curt.”
“Yes, thank you,” Flynn says, “and I’ll text you where to send your bill.”
“There’s no charge. It’s my pleasure to see you settled and so in love, Natalie. I can’t think of anyone who deserves that kind of happiness more than you.”
Flynn puts his arm around me and kisses my temple. “I couldn’t agree more.”
“Thanks again, Curt. I’ll call you next week.”
“I’ll look forward to hearing from you.”
Flynn pushes the button to end the connection. “He’s great and obviously very fond of you.”
“He got me through a nightmare.”
“For that, he shall always have my gratitude as well as yours.”
“Do you feel better now that we’ve spoken to him?”
“I feel less worried than I was.”
“Soooo… What now?”
Once again, he leans in close to me, his lips touching my ear. “Now, I need to do some work.”
“Oh. Okay.”
“But tonight at eight o’clock, I want you naked and on your knees at the foot of the bed. Your hands will be folded in your lap and your head down in submission as you wait for me to tell you what I want. Do you understand?”
My entire body heats as his words register. “I… Yes, I understand.”
“Today, I want you to reread our contract and go over every detail we negotiated so you’re reminded of what could happen later.”
“Okay.”
“What’s the proper way to address me in this context?”
“Yes… Sir.”
“Better. Now kiss me and let me get to work.”
I expect a quick peck, but I should know better by now. He kisses me senseless and then leaves me reeling when he pulls back. I put
Fluff down, get up from the chair, which I take with me when I leave the room on trembling legs. Eight o’clock is more than ten hours from now. How will I stand the insistent throb of desire between my legs for that long?
Chapter 7
I’m hard as concrete as I watch her walk away. Her reaction to my instructions makes me want to forget all about the power of anticipation and begin playtime right now. But I’ve promised Hayden I’ll work for part of every day, so I start by diving into the email that has accumulated during the time I’ve spent with Natalie.
I participate in a conference call with the production team on the film that has defied naming, and dismiss a lengthy list of ideas our marketing team presents to us at the end of the two-hour meeting.
Hayden reminds me we’re long overdue with making decisions on our next project and forwards me an email containing his short list of suggestions.
“I’ll take a look and get back to you with my thoughts.”
“Great, thank you. Nice to have you back, even part time.”
“Good to be back.”
The call ends, and I immediately call Hayden on my cell.
“Didn’t I just talk to you?”
“I wanted to speak to you privately, and I didn’t trust everyone to hang up if I asked to do it during the call.”
“Good thinking.”
“Especially in light of what I want to talk about. So Natalie knows.”
“What does she know?”
“Everything.” I let that one word do the talking for me.
“How?”
“Our old friend Valerie decided she needed to know.”
“You’re shitting me, right?”
“I wish I was.”
“Wow, she’s got some brass balls. You gotta give her that.”
“Perhaps so, but when I get back to town, we need to do something about her. It wouldn’t take much to ruin her career, for one thing. Hardly anyone wants to work with her anyway.”
“I can’t believe she’d have the nerve to fuck with you this way. So, how did Natalie take it?”
“We had a rough couple of days, but we’re better now. A lot better. She wants to come to the club.”
“So she’s interested?”
“Intrigued and curious were the words she used.”
“A lot better than depraved and disgusting.”
“I much prefer Natalie’s words.”
“Wow, Flynn… Congrats. You hit the jackpot. You found a woman who genuinely loves you and is willing to be part of the lifestyle, too. You’re a lucky bastard.”
I can hear the yearning in his tone. Perhaps someone who doesn’t know him as well as I do would’ve missed it, but I don’t. “You never know what’s possible unless you try.”
“Not gonna happen.”
“How do you know—”
“I gotta go. Another call coming in. See you when you get back.”
The line goes dead, and I shake my head in amusement and frustration at my best friend’s dismissal of my suggestion. He and Addie would be great together, but Hayden’s too afraid of what might happen if she found out about his involvement in the lifestyle. More than anything, I think he fears losing her friendship, not that he’s ever come right out and said that. Hell, he’s barely admitted his interest in her to me, let alone anything else.
I hope he can get out of his own way and decide to take a chance. I, for one, would tell him the rewards far outweigh the risks, but then again, I wasn’t risking a longtime friendship with Natalie. It’s a tough situation, especially because I believe Addie would welcome being more than friends with Hayden—again, not that she and I have actually talked about it.
Natalie appears in the doorway, and every other thought leaves my head except for those that involve her. “Sorry to interrupt.”
“You’re not. What’s up?”
“I talked to Aileen, and she doesn’t sound too good. She had chemo on Friday, and the kids are home today because of the snow. I was thinking I might go over there and entertain the kids so she can rest. Would that be okay with you?”
“Only if I can come with you.”
“I thought you had to work.”
“I did, and now I don’t have anything else scheduled until eight o’clock tonight.”
Her eyes drop and her cheeks flush at the mention of our date. “Oh, well, if you want to come, I’m sure the kids would love that.”
“You should check with Aileen first. I don’t want to make her feel uncomfortable.”
“I’m sure she won’t mind, but I’ll ask her if we can hang out with the kids for a while so she can rest.” She sends a text and receives an immediate response. “She says they’d love it and that neither of us are to look directly at her or at the condition of the apartment.”
I laugh at the cute but sad reply. “We can’t drive, though. With everyone home because of the snow, we’ll never be able to park. We’ll take a cab.”
“How will we get out of here undetected?”
“I have the perfect solution.”
“I won’t wear Russian fur on my head.”
“I wouldn’t dream of making you do that. I’ve got something even better.” He disappears into the bedroom and returns carrying two hats. When he hands one to me, I see they are knit ski masks with holes for the eyes, nose and mouth that cover the entire face. “No one will look twice at us in these today, because everyone will be wearing them.”
“I’ve always thought they were kind of creepy when I saw people wearing them on the street.”
“They do come in handy on days like this. And this way we can leave the security guys at home.”
“Where are they when we’re here?”
“In an office in the building next door. I call them when we need them.”
“That must cost a fortune.”
“It does, but it’s well worth it.”
We suit up in the warmest clothes we can find and head out a short time later with Fluff leading the way. In addition to the snow masks, we’re wrapped up in scarves, warm parkas and gloves. “I wish I had my boots.” The best she was able to do is a pair of black Nikes.
“I’ll carry you over any puddles.”
The doorman hails a cab for us, and as we’re on our way out the door, Fluff stops right on the sidewalk to pee. Natalie and I lose it laughing, which draws the attention of the photographers camped outside my place. “Quick.” I gesture to the waiting cab. I scoop up Fluff the second she quits peeing, and we make a break for the car before the photographers can get themselves organized.
Once inside the cab, we remove the masks.
“I can’t believe they stand out there in the snow hoping for a glimpse of you,” she says.
“And you.”
“But mostly you.”
“I don’t know… Liza says pictures of you are going for a pretty penny these days, too.”
After a slow ride through slush and ice, we arrive at Aileen’s building. The snowdrifts are so high that I have to make good on my promise to pick up Natalie—and Fluff—and carry them over the snow to the vestibule.
“Our hero,” she says.
“I specialize in damsels in distress.”
We go up a flight of stairs, and Natalie pushes the button for Aileen’s place. A buzzer sounds to admit us. Outside their apartment, Logan is waiting for us and lets out a happy squeal when he sees Natalie. She catches him up in a big hug.
“You’ve grown a foot since I saw you.”
“That’s not possible, Ms. Bryant.”
She keeps him in her arms as we enter the apartment. “You can call me Natalie now that I’m not your teacher anymore.”
“Miss Natalie,” a weak voice from the sofa says.
With one glance, it’s obvious Aileen is in rough shape. Her face is ghostly white, and she doesn’t get up when we enter the living room, which looks as if a cyclone has gone through it.
“We’re a wreck,” she says.
“You’re not
going to be my teacher anymore?” Logan asks mournfully. “They said you were coming back.”
I squeeze Nat’s shoulder as I help her out of her coat.
“Logan, honey,” Aileen says, “let Natalie take her coat off before you start asking questions.”
Natalie sits on the love seat and pats the cushion next to her, inviting Logan to join her. “So here’s the deal… You know that my husband, Flynn, is famous.”
“He’s in movies that Mom says I’m not old enough to see.”
“That’s right.”
“So he’s like SpongeBob, only for adults, right?”
Natalie fights a losing battle with laughter. “Exactly,” she says, glancing at me, the laughter making her eyes dance with joy. “Because I’m married to him now, there’s a lot of interest in both of us that would be a huge distraction for all my students.”
“What’s a distriction?”
“A distraction is when things happen that take our attention off our schoolwork.”
“Like video games?”
“That’s a great example.”
Watching her patience with the little boy, I can’t wait to see her with our kids. She’s going to be an amazing mother.
“I’m afraid of coming back and then having to leave again when the distractions prove to be too much. I’d never want to put you guys through that, so I’ve decided not to come back, as much as I’d love to. But, I’m going to give you all my address so we can write to each other, and I’ll FaceTime with you and your mom and Maddie. Okay?”
“I guess,” he says, though he’s clearly crushed. Who could blame him? I felt the same way when Natalie left me, and that was only for a day.
“I’m so sorry about all this, buddy.”
“I know.”
“Hey, Logan,” I say, anxious to end this conversation for Nat’s sake, “do you and Maddie want to go play in the snow?”
His eyes light up as his sister lets out a squeal. “Can we, Mom?”
“You don’t want to do that,” Aileen says.
“If I didn’t, I wouldn’t have asked. I’d love to take them to the park, if it’s all right with you.”