by Al K. Line
"How many?"
Ivan settled his steely gaze on the man. "All of them."
The dude grinned then nodded before leaving.
Ivan tended to the woman and I left the room while she got cleaned up and changed. When I returned she was cleaner, but there were red stains on her face and her hair looked like it was dyed pink. She was numb, in shock, standing there like a zombie.
"We need to go," said Ivan.
"We sure do. She looks like she's gonna freak. What's her name? We haven't been introduced."
"Arthur, you've been introduced several times."
"Have I? Have we?"
"Yes. You feeling okay?"
"Actually, no, I'm feeling far from dandy. Whatever Carmichael did in that room, I don't want it repeated. I'm not going back there, Ivan, not for anything."
"And he did the same to Tasius?"
"I guess. That's what it sounded like."
"He was probably going to keep at it until he got the information on the ashes."
"But we didn't know anything."
"No, you didn't, but he didn't know that. He figured you knew, maybe that Tasius knew or could lead him to them because of their affinity for the ash, and I think he might be right about that."
"How'd you mean?"
"I mean Tasius and his kind have dedicated centuries to the worship, study, and adoration of ash. They believe it gives them higher powers, makes them better vampires, and they are attuned to it, there's no doubt about that."
"He said he could sense Mikalus' ashes, that he knew they were still around. He felt it when Mikalus was resurrected and when he died again. Like sniffing him out."
"Exactly, so he's dangerous, and he'll find them eventually. We have to act, and fast."
"Your plan?" I asked.
"My plan," agreed Ivan.
"Which is?"
"Go get the ashes and destroy them before this ends badly for us all. Meaning, you and me."
"Yeah, cheers for getting me involved in this. Did I thank you already?"
Ivan's expression was puzzled. "Are you all right?"
"No, I keep telling you, I got drugged, it hurts like you couldn't imagine, and then all this shit happened. Of course I'm not okay."
"Come on, we're leaving."
"Where to?"
"I need a few hours to sort things out, to take care of Kim and—"
"Who's Kim?"
"I am," said, er, Kim.
"Oh. You don't look well, Kim, you need to go home."
"That's where we're all going. Right now." Ivan led Kim gently by the arm and I followed behind.
I wondered if Penelope had finished her tea towels. It felt like a lifetime ago that Tasius came for coffee. Hopefully there would be no repeat visit.
Home at Last
Ivan's driver dropped me at my city house, the journey an utter nightmare as Ivan put his phone on speaker and called Vicky to check on her. She was in a right panic, stressed out about me, and asked a million and one questions while all I wanted to do was sleep. Or if not sleep, then close my eyes and suffer the pain of the comedown from chemical torture and violence, all of which was preferable to spending twenty minutes having Vicky screeching at full volume via a crackly reception inside an enclosed metal box.
I told her I was fine, that Ivan had rescued me, but that things were serious and very dangerous, that she should be careful. She told me what Ivan already had, that there was nothing to worry about because there were men outside and inside the house to watch her and Ivan had promised this would be over soon.
Even though I didn't think she was right, I agreed, truth being that Ivan had done a monumentally stupid thing. He remained almost silent the whole journey, having probably had his fill of his sister's nonstop chatter and chastising.
Vicky was also pining for action, having had a quiet time of it lately same as me. No jobs, no violence, no death or wild magical explosions. It wasn't what she was used to and I knew she was going stir crazy. Tough, she'd have to wait it out a little longer, as no way was I getting her involved in this. Whatever this ended up being.
Not good, I knew that much, but not much else.
Finally, Ivan ended the call and I sank back into the seat for a well-deserved rest.
"We're here," he said as he turned to me.
"Already? Man, I'm beat."
"You need some assistance?"
"No, I'll manage."
"Sorry about Vicky, but you know how she is."
"Sure do. She's in danger though, you know that, right? Tasius and Carmichael will both be after us, and Carmichael is after everyone. He's well and truly blown the peace, and if you've already leaked the location of the warehouse he'll be spitting blood soon. It's all out war."
"I know all this, Arthur. It had to happen. There would always come a time when Cerberus had to be dealt with. Now our hand is forced."
"Now you've forced our hand, you mean."
"I kept the ashes, that's all. They have been around for hundreds of years."
"Yeah, but nobody knew where they were before. Now somebody does. You."
Ivan held my gaze, tried to keep his usual blank expression, but I saw the flicker of doubt, of concern. He was shitting bricks, whatever he said.
"Two hours then I need you back here," he said.
"If I'm ready, I'll return. If not, I won't." He wasn't in charge of me.
"Two hours," he said.
His driver opened my door and I got out.
I popped my head back in the car and said to Kim, "Get some rest, and don't worry, we'll get this sorted." With a nod to Ivan, I went in search of peace, if only for a while.
Blurry Movement
Somehow, I got the wards down without either falling asleep or falling over and knocking myself out on something harder than my head. Then I got the spare key from inside a special rock with a hollow middle, a device so cunning I was amazed nobody else had thought of using such a cool gadget, and entered the house. I am assuming, although I have no recollection of it, that I passed through the Gate of Bakaudif and emerged in my barn and then somehow got into a car and drove home. I know it was me as I vaguely recall arriving at the farmhouse, but what happened in between is a blank.
Floodlights lit up the courtyard and it lifted my spirits no end. Chickens clucked at the interruption, pigs grunted then continued to snore, and then the front door opened and the two most beautiful women in the world rushed out to greet me.
George and Penelope were both concerned, looked ill with worry, and I tried to fend them off, saying I was fine, but the truth was I wasn't, and I accepted their help to get inside.
Someone pulled my boots off and I found myself sitting at my kitchen table nursing a cup of coffee, somehow unable to get my arms to move the mug from the table to my lips. I focused on them, willed them to work, and eventually I lifted the steaming drink and sipped.
Oh, how good it felt, like the nectar of the gods themselves.
"Arthur? Hello? Can you hear me?"
I looked up to see Penelope staring at me with concern, George beside her looking just as worried.
"Eh? Did you say something?"
"I asked if you need anything. What happened?"
"Oh, the usual. Got kidnapped by Cerberus after that vampire, Tasius, turned up here looking for Mikalus' ashes. They tortured me for days, put poison in my veins, then Ivan and his vamps, plus some from the east, and Valera and Nohr, all came and rescued us, blew up half of Cerberus' warehouse. Then we went back to Ivan's lair, there was a big fight, I think I killed a few guys, or maybe just one, Valera and Nohr did the others. Um, where are they by the way? And then, er, Ivan dropped me at the city house, and I came here. You know, the usual stuff."
"What!? That's nuts," shouted Penelope, horror, or awe, struck.
"You get used to it," I said. "Right, George?"
"You do, I don't. Dad, this is a bit much, even for you."
"I think you might be right." I put my coffee down a
nd leaned back in my chair; everything felt so heavy.
"Ugh, what was that?" I lifted my head and rubbed my temple. A lump formed.
George and Penelope were beside me, helping me sit up.
"You just zonked out and banged your head. You need to sleep." Penelope rubbed at my temple, soothing me. It felt so nice.
"Can't sleep, got to go see Ivan in less than two hours. Deal with problem. Deal with ashes of Mikalus. He still has them. Idiot kept them, tricked us all. Now war coming. Ugh."
The women exchanged worried glances. Ivan would have told them some, but not all, of this. I couldn't even keep it straight in my head as it was too manic and everything had happened too fast.
"Ow! Fuck. Who did that?" I shouted, careening back from the table, another lump forming on top of the one already there.
"Come on, let's get you to bed." They grabbed me under my arms and helped me stand.
"I can manage," I said, then promptly lost all feeling in my legs and had to grab the table for support.
They whispered to each other, then George backed off and Penelope led me into the hall and helped me upstairs.
I collapsed onto the bed, our bed, and she lay down next to me. I rested my head on her chest and listened to her heartbeat, felt her warmth, smelled her loveliness.
I was so damn tired I didn't even cry before I fell asleep.
On Rapid Charge
When I woke up, it was to a world of pain. For several seconds I refused to open my eyes as I was sure I was back under Carmichael's very dubious care. Slowly, the thud, thud, thud of Penelope's gentle heartbeat and the warmth of her body eased my stress and I opened my eyes.
Without disturbing her, I got up, stifling groans and my aching desire to scream and say swear words that began with c and would get me into trouble, and headed to the bathroom. I wasn't sure when I'd last peed, but it had been quite a while, and although I hadn't drunk much I had a burning need that had to be tended to. I soon wished I'd held it all in until it exploded out of my belly button or something, because when I finally let loose what came out was as much like urine as coffee is like butter.
The stuff that pulsed then dribbled out was brown, almost sticky, then bright red, pure gold, then clumpy and with bits in. It hurt so bad I had to lean forward and grasp the cistern because I was sure I was about to faint. I went hot, then freezing cold, shivering as all blood drained from my face and limbs and went off somewhere to hide, what wasn't being peed out anyway.
Job eventually done, and with a substantial amount of loo roll needed to clean the toilet seat, I undressed then got under the shower. Steam eased my body a little and almost gave me hope that I'd see this night through and somehow survive until morning.
Clean of body, certainly not of mind, I went back to the bedroom and dressed. I checked the clock and saw I had almost an hour yet, so, still tiptoeing around, I settled back onto the bed, smiled as Penelope muttered then slapped an arm across my waist, and prepared for a serious magic topping up.
I had a proper room for this, a Quiet Room, devoid of any distractions, not even skirting boards, but since Penelope had moved in I found I could relax better, and sink deeper into the Quiet Place, when in her presence no matter where we happened to be.
A Quiet Room is all about creating inner peace, somewhere to focus and not be distracted by everyday nonsense, to open up to the universe and immerse yourself in its cold, uncaring emptiness. Its beauty. All wizards, and other magic users, had their own unique way of entering this strange place, somewhere special and meaningful yet devoid of reminders of this world and its horrors.
I'd never heard of anyone being able to access it in the presence of someone else like this, not so deeply, so perfectly. Sure, I could top up and sink deep into the emptiness pretty much anywhere if I truly let myself go, but not regularly, and never once had it allowed me to feel so connected.
Now things were different. I had Penelope and she brought me a deep inner peace, a sense of belonging that I'd never known existed. No, that's not right. I'd often hoped, even prayed it did, but never imagined it would feel quite like it did. So perfect.
This was happiness. It was bad for me.
Nonetheless, knowing I had little time, and that this was as important as it had ever been, I let my head rise and fall with her breathing and soon I was no longer The Hat. I was out of time and place, immersed in a vast emptiness that encompassed the entirety of everything, all pasts, presents, and futures, and let me tell you, that's bloody big.
I become one with the harsh void.
The life giver.
The soul destroyer.
It entered me, and me it.
Magic, for what else could you call this impossible universe and how it was created? The vastness unimaginable, all coming from nothing, all returning to nothing. Always nothing. Slowly, yet in the blink of an eye, I became a human being who had access to the powers of the universe, of creation itself.
And what did this lowly human do with such mind-blowing, astounding abilities? He dicked about with sticks, he pulverized flesh, and he stole things so he could feel alive and that he had a purpose in life. Still, it beat doing the vacuuming. Most things did.
Some time later I smiled, content and full of inner peace. My body thrummed with energy, the damage inflicted over days all but eradicated. What remained was a true sense of wholeness, of being utterly me to the max. I wasn't sure if that was good or bad, but it was what it was and I had no choice in the matter.
I smiled, happy despite my attempts to remain distraught about being in love with a woman so damn perfect, so damn normal, I still refused to accept it. There had to be a catch, but there wasn't. The only issue was that we'd connected the instant we met and it had thrown me for a loop.
Now George and I had someone to share our home and our life with and we were a true family. Complete in a way neither of us had realized we were lacking. To seal the deal, they got on amazingly well, and I knew they spent a lot of time together when I was out and about getting up to mischief. Not that I'd strayed far, or for long, since Penelope graced us with her presence.
One parent that cares is awesome, two is more than most ever get. Hell, I'd have settled for one when I was growing up, as knowing a single person truly loves you, cares for you, would lay down their life for you, is a gift beyond most people's ability to appreciate and be thankful for.
I had a partner, but it was more than that. Penelope was a friend, a confidant, and yes, a shoulder to cry on. Family. Mine, and George's.
Penelope made our house a true home and for that I will forever be more grateful than she could have possibly known.
"What are you smiling at?" Penelope asked.
"How did you know I was smiling? And I thought you were asleep."
"Nope, just lying here while you topped up the magic. I like it, feeling your face on my skin, feeling the magic enter you as you become charged up like a good quality battery."
"More like a rusty old one that doesn't hold its charge for long and could do with recycling."
"Don't be silly."
Penelope ran her fingers gently through the hair at the side of my head. A loving, mindless act that meant so much I wanted to weep. Never underestimate the human touch, it has more power than any magic.
"How'd you know I was smiling?" I asked, curious.
"I can feel it inside you. You sort of shine."
"Really? Wow."
"That, and your stubble starts sticking into me. Haha, come on, sleepy head, didn't you have immortal ashes to destroy and save the world from the terrors of the night or something?"
"Oh, yeah. Forgot."
"Want coffee before you depart to fight vampires and deal with super-secret organizations hellbent on controlling all magic artifacts in the world?"
"Yes please, sounds ace."
We got up reluctantly, and before I went on the rampage I sat with my citizen girlfriend and drank lovely coffee and tried not to think about the horrors th
at lay ahead.
As you do.
Off to War
I got my things together. Wand, new burner phone, clothes, jacket, hat, stupidly large fob of keys for the numerous vehicles and whatnot, and I was good to go. Oh, and the Teleron. I got the feeling I'd be needing that.
George wished me luck then disappeared into the den, and Penelope held my hands, reluctant to let me leave.
"You'll get used to it," I said with a half smile.
"How can you stand it? How can George be so relaxed about this?"
"Because it's happened so many times before. After a while, it's just what I do. I told you, warned you, danger is part of our lives. Yours too now, although I'll always do my best to keep you safe. Don't worry, it'll be cool."
"You sure?"
"Course. I'm The Hat and nobody screws with me. It's time, anyway. Time for Cerberus to be dealt with, time for Carmichael to be eliminated, time for the vampires to get their house in order. And then maybe, time for me to relax."
"Retire?"
"Haha, no chance. This is who I am, who I'll always be. You know that, right?"
"I do. And I love you."
"Love you too." Before Penelope could protest any more, I kissed her and left her in the kitchen while I got my boots on.
George popped her head out of the den, smiled a knowing smile, then handed me a rollie. "We didn't have dinner, but I figured you deserved it anyway."
"You're a trooper." I grabbed the bent handmade cigarette and stuck it behind my ear, my spirits lifting.
"Be careful." George frowned, concerned. I hated to leave those I loved feeling this way, but what was a poor wizard to do?
"Always."
I got out of there before I did something stupid, like stayed at home and read a book.
And So it Begins
At the barn, I took a moment to compose myself before I sat on a bale of hay and accessed the web. I wasn't much of a surfer, more a banger and a shouter at whatever screen I was trying to navigate, but I wanted to check for myself if Ivan had been true to his word.
He had.