Taking a deep breath, Jenny slowly counted to ten. Then she wrapped the towel around her shoulders and walked a few steps down the hallway. “Hank. Please. I want to explain things.”
Silence was her answer. Sighing deeply, she turned to leave, placing the towel on the chair. She stepped onto the porch, bracing herself for another mad dash through the rain. When the door was flung open behind her, she jumped. Hank stood in the doorway; arms folded in front of him. Jenny stepped towards him, but he held his hand up.
“I know you want to talk, but I need some time to process things. Can you give me that?”
Hank’s words were laced with frustration. These were not the words of a friend. His request closed a door in Jenny’s heart. He was shutting her out. She could do the same to him. She nodded and walked down the steps, welcoming the rain that hid the tears falling from her eyes.
At least Hank was making it very clear that he was okay with her leaving. If their friendship meant anything to him, he would have found the courtesy to have a conversation. Jenny shook off her dripping clothes and then ran to her room. Once she was showered and dried, she pulled out her computer and booked her flight home. Hank didn’t need her, but her clients did. Besides, the trip to the ranch was supposed to be about getting over a break-up. Not starting something new.
Typing in her credit card, her heart began to race. No matter how right the decision felt, Jenny didn’t know how she was going to leave. She closed her eyes and pressed enter, locking in her flight. Then she pushed her computer to the side of the bed and lay down on the throw pillows. She had three days to say goodbye to the ranch. It was going to be impossible to do.
Chapter 18
Running into the stable to feed Bacon at midnight, Hank half-expected to see Jenny. Instead, Louis was crouched over the foal. “I told you I’d take over for the night,” Louis said.
Shame swirled through Hank’s body. He had been having a temper tantrum, and now, Louis was bearing the brunt of the work. Hank knelt down by Louis and reached for the bottle. “I’m sorry. I should have never asked you to step in.”
Louis handed the bottle to Hank and stood up, stretching his arms over his head. “You and Jenny have gotten pretty close.”
Hank nodded. “I didn’t mean to. We all knew she was coming to the ranch with an exit date planned.”
“Yeah, but the heart doesn’t care much about deadlines or work obligations. I wasn’t looking for love in my later years, and yet here I am, coming to this ranch every day to court the cute lady I met at church.”
Hank looked up to see a broad smile spreading across Louis’s face as he continued, “If you had told me that this is what my retirement years would look like, I would have laughed you off the property. Now, I can’t imagine anything I’d rather be doing.”
The man’s wrinkled hands told the story of years of hard work, but Hank knew they wouldn’t hold up under the pressure much longer. He hated the thought that kept coming back to his mind. “Louis, we can’t keep doing this,” he said. “We were barely keeping things afloat before Jo Jo got sick. And now with Bacon? And the next harvest? We need to bring in another set of hands.”
Louis nodded. “Jo Jo and I were talking about that earlier. You know who our first choice would be.”
“Yeah,” Hank said. “David. Problem is, he won’t speak to me.”
“Look. I don’t pretend to know what all went down with you guys, but I’m guessing it had something to do with Amanda?”
Hank brought his hand to the back of his neck. “He made it very clear that he would never forgive me for hurting his sister.”
“Time has a funny way of changing things. Did you hear that she’s engaged now?”
The words froze Hank in place. He waited for the familiar churning of loss to begin, but his stomach was calm. “I didn’t know that.”
Stifling a huge yawn, Louis placed his hand on the latch. “I’ll leave it up to you, but I think it would be worth a try to call him.”
Hank nodded.
“Just maybe wait until morning. We certainly work crazy hours around here.” The stable doors swung shut behind him, and Hank shook his head. Calling David was going to be awful, but he didn’t really have much of a choice.
Hank waited until the middle of the day, trying to figure out what he could say that would begin to mend the broken friendship. Thankfully, the wind from the storm had blown down a section of fencing that needed repair. That was something Hank could do that wasn’t complicated. The sun beat down on his shoulders while he worked. He removed his outer shirt and tossed it into the cab. Throwing boards out of the truck was easy. It didn’t require him to use his words.
When the sun reached its peak, Hank grabbed his phone out of the truck and went to sit in the shade of a tree. The rough bark rubbed against his back, but the true discomfort was in his stomach. With his finger hovering over David’s name, Hank took his hat off and leaned his head back. If he could handle lifting heavy boards and shoveling new post holes, he could handle a friend saying no. He pressed the talk button and held the phone to his ear.
David arrived at the ranch a couple of days later. Hank watched his black SUV pulling into the driveway, wishing he could take back the invitation. Surely, there was some other able-bodied man he could have trained. It was too late now. He waited until David parked the vehicle before plastering a fake smile onto his face. As David climbed out of the car, the door behind Hank slammed, and Jo Jo pushed past him. She ran down the steps, wrapping David in a hug.
“It’s so good to see you,” Jo Jo said. She looped her hand around David’s arm and pulled him toward the house. When they neared the steps, she let go and pushed him toward Hank. “Play nice,” she whispered, staring down Hank.
Hank held a hand out. “Thanks for coming.”
David reached to shake his hand, and then clapped Hank on the shoulder. “It’s good to be here.” The quiver in his voice told a different story. Clearly, the men had some issues to work out before they would be friends again, but the sprawling ranch held plenty of space for them to be apart.
The door opened behind Hank again, and Jenny stepped onto the porch. Hank’s fingers itched to take her hand in his and pull her forward to meet David but he held back. It wasn’t his place to introduce Jenny to anyone. That was Jo Jo’s responsibility. He walked inside the house and headed to the kitchen, leaving the murmuring of voices behind him.
Hank lifted a heavy pot roast out of the pan and onto a flowered serving platter. Steaming piles of roasted carrots and potatoes followed the meat, swimming in a deep-brown gravy. He just had to get through one awkward dinner, and then he could get back to the comfort of his chores.
Jo Jo’s voice echoed through the dining room, inviting everyone to sit down and eat. As the dining room filled with the sound of forks scraping plates, Hank kept his head down, unable to look at Jenny or David. His patience for pretending to be happy was stretching thin. Anger bubbled beneath his skin, threatening to spill out with words that he wouldn’t be able to take back. He finished his food quickly and excused himself from the table, muttering an apology about needing to check on the animals.
Hank’s insides were swirling in knots when he went to the stable. He checked the hay in the troughs, and then headed down the aisle to Bacon’s stall. The small foal was curled up in one corner, his eyes closed against the dim light that still flickered through the open door. Hank leaned against the stall, resting his head on the door and closing his eyes. He needed space to breathe without lashing out. Being near Bacon would help keep his temper in check, but the little foal reminded him too strongly of the girl he was trying to forget.
He stood up with a start and left the stable. He didn’t need silence. He needed to break things. Lots of them. A large woodpile sat on the far side of the pig barn. Hank made a beeline for the axe. He hefted a large log onto a stump and swung the axe down with a thud. The log splintered, a small crack beginning to form. Hank swung again, each swing of his arms a release
from the pressure that was building up inside him. The giant log split apart, with small splinters of wood flying, and Hank attacked each smaller section with determination to get his emotions back under control. You didn’t cry when an animal died on the ranch, and you certainly didn’t cry when an animal left to live elsewhere. He had to let Jenny go.
When the person behind him cleared her throat, Hank’s heart stopped. He spun around, the axe raised mid-swing, and Jenny jumped back with a start. She held her hands out, her face creased with worry lines. Hank lowered the axe to the stump, adrenaline coursing through his body.
“What do you want?” Hank walked away from the stump and grabbed pieces of the splintered wood, stacking them against the barn wall.
Jenny shook her head. She reached down, gathering kindling in silence beside him. Occasionally, their elbows brushed against one another, but neither spoke. Hank could feel the heat radiating off of Jenny’s arm. He turned his head to study her face, but her eyes watched the ground. With a grunt, Hank walked over to the fence, leaning against one of the long rail sections. After throwing a final piece of wood down, she joined him, standing so close, their legs touched.
The silence stretched on, uncomfortably filled with tension. It would be so easy for Hank to reach his arm around Jenny’s shoulders and pull her close. And it would be even easier to tilt her chin toward his so he could kiss her inviting lips. He stepped away from the fence, shaking his head to clear his thoughts, but Jenny reached her hand out, grabbing his arm.
“Don’t go.” Her voice was soft, but it crashed through his defenses.
“What do you want me to do? You’re the one leaving. Not me.”
“It’s not like I have a choice.”
“But that’s just it,” he said. “You do. No one is making you leave. You decided to do that all on your own.”
“So what? I’m just supposed to let my job crumble in California while I play farm girl? I came here for a visit. Not a new life. I have friends and responsibilities back at home. You can’t expect me to leave them behind. You wouldn’t leave the ranch, would you?” Her words rang true, but Hank was done trying to justify how he felt.
“Of course, I wouldn’t leave. This is my home. But you already knew that.” Hank brushed flecks of wood off his jeans.
Jenny grabbed his hand, lacing her fingers through his. Resistance crumbling, he reached out and pulled Jenny close to him, wrapping his strong arms around her. His heart cracked wide open. It was madness to fall for the green-eyed girl who was leaving so soon, but it was a different kind of madness to fight the feelings that were exploding inside of him. The final shreds of resistance falling away, he tilted Jenny’s chin up so he could see her face. Then he leaned down and pressed a kiss to her lips.
Jenny responded by throwing her arms around his neck. She pressed her lips against Hank’s with an undisguised urgency, and Hank responded. He kissed her softly, enjoying the pressure of her lips against his before he deepened the kiss. With a grunt, Hank lifted Jenny up and spun her around so she was leaning against the side of the barn, setting her down with a soft thud against the weathered wood. Then he leaned down, kissing Jenny once, then twice, before pulling away. Jenny reached for his neck, but he grabbed her hands in his, rubbing them softly before lowering them to her side.
“Jenny, we can’t do this.”
“I know.” Her voice cracked with longing. She leaned forward on her toes, searching for another kiss, but Hank held her back.
“You still have a choice. You don’t have to leave the ranch.” Hank paused; his eyes filled with pain. “You don’t have to leave me.” Every fiber in his body ached to hold her near, but kissing her would make it that much harder when she left.
“What am I supposed to do? I can’t quit my job in California. I have people depending on me. If I don’t go back now, I could lose everything.”
“But if you leave, you’ll lose everything here.” His words hung in the air, heavy with pain. He needed to yell or punch something. Anything to release some of the pressure on his chest. He fixed things on the ranch, but how was he supposed to fix someone who didn’t want to stay?
Jenny grabbed him in a backwards hug, pressing her face against his back.
“How do we work this out?” he asked. He turned so he was facing her, pulling her close.
Jenny rested her head against his chest. “I don’t know,” she answered. “I really don’t know.”
Chapter 19
Standing by the fence with Hank’s arms wrapped around her, Jenny felt protected from everything life could throw at her. It was ironic that those same arms were the one thing causing her world to fall apart. If she stayed in Hank’s embrace, she’d be walking away from years at a job she loved. She’d lose her best clients, and she’d have no security to go back to if things went wrong.
Hank was right on all counts. Once Jenny left the ranch, she’d lose all the things she had grown to love. She tried to picture the bustle of home, but the city was worlds away. “We could text . . .” she began, but the words died on her lips. Hank wasn’t the type of man who would pull out his phone to text back and forth every day. He shook his head, confirming her thoughts.
“Jenny. There isn’t a pause and restart button for the ranch. Life has to keep going here. Think about Bacon. He didn’t stop growing when Bree passed away, and he won’t stop growing if you leave. Things have to keep moving forward.” Hank’s words were hard to hear, but the pressure of his arms holding her close kept her emotions from spilling out.
“It isn’t like I want to leave.”
“I know. But you’re going to anyway.”
Jenny leaned against his chest, where she could hear his heart beating out a steady rhythm.
“So, what does this mean for us?” Her words hung in the air, hoping for an answer that would magically make everything better.
“I think it means we both move on. You go home and take care of the things you need to do. You’ll be the best person at your job, and you’ll get your client back.”
Jenny shook her head. “I can’t just walk away from you like we never met.”
“I know,” Hank said. “But the best choice for both of us is to let go. I’ll take care of the ranch and your grandma. You can take care of your job.”
Jenny’s sniffle punctuated his words. As the tears began to fall, she could feel a throbbing headache coming on. Hank’s words were logical, but they made no sense. How was she supposed to leave when every part of her body ached to stay on the ranch in the arms of the man who captured her heart?
She slowly backed up, turning to look at Hank’s face. His blue eyes were sad, but they were resolved. Jenny pulled Hank’s face toward her, wrapping her fingers through his hair before pressing a soft kiss to his lips. He reached his arms up to pull Jenny close, but she straightened up instead. Then she headed to the house to let her heart shatter in the privacy of her room.
The morning of Jenny’s flight, she ran to the stable to brush Bacon one final time. He whinnied as she approached, and she sank to the ground to sit by the little foal. “How am I supposed to say goodbye to you?” she asked, placing a kiss on top of Bacon’s head.
Jenny hugged Bacon’s neck, burying her face in his mane while tears welled up in her eyes. “Watch over Hank for me, okay? He’s going to need someone to be his friend.” Bacon squirmed to get out of Jenny’s arms. She kissed the top of his head again before letting him prance away. Then she left the stable, looking back over her shoulder one final time at the horse who had brought her so much work and so much joy. With a deep sigh, she pushed the stable door closed and went to her room to pack.
The clanking of pans in the kitchen drifted up to Jenny as she shoved clothes into her suitcase. Before long, the smell of sautéed onions wafted up the stairs, quickly joined by sizzling hamburger. Jenny’s stomach rumbled as she put her final toiletries in the suitcase. She eyed her boots, but there was no place for them in Petaluma. Instead, she placed them in the c
loset, and hung her cowboy hat over the edge of them. Jo Jo had given the hat to Jenny after her sunburn fiasco, but it never felt quite right on her head. That should have been her first sign that she didn’t belong. If she was going to have a clean break, she needed the reminders of the ranch to stay on the ranch.
She knelt down and pulled up the edge of the blanket to look under the bed for any stray clothing. As she did, the door creaked open, and boots clomped into the room. Jenny let the covers drop to the floor and stood, her heart speeding up. “Hi, Hank.”
Hank stood in her room; his hair tousled from working in the wind. He stepped toward Jenny and then stopped, hovering near the doorway. “Lunch is ready.”
Every part of Jenny’s body ached to close the distance and wrap her arms around Hank, but there was a barrier between them. She studied Hank’s face, taking in his guarded expression. He seemed as nervous as she was, suddenly shy to be standing in her space.
With an already fragile heart, she reasoned that one more hug couldn’t make things worse. Jenny stepped forward to meet Hank, letting him wrap his strong arms around her back. She leaned into the embrace while she tried to memorize the feel of his chest beneath her cheek. Her heart fluttered when he pressed a kiss against the top of her head, but she didn’t look up to meet his lips. Instead, she pulled out of the hug, reaching for her suitcase. “We shouldn’t keep Jo Jo waiting,” she said.
Jenny handed the luggage to Hank and walked down the stairs with him, wanting to wrap her arms around his waist and never let go. Halfway down the staircase, she reached for his hand, locking her fingers around his. They stopped at the doorway, out of sight of the family room, placing the luggage on the floor.
Jenny lifted her arms to wrap them around Hank’s neck as he tilted his face toward hers. Their lips met, and Jenny closed her mind to the nagging reminder that the relationship was doomed, twisting her fingers through his hair instead. She let her lips move with Hank’s, ignoring every thought but the feeling of being roughly kissed by her handsome cowboy.
Love at Rosecrown Ranch Page 11