My hopes that we’d somehow stumble upon a secret room with the pendant inside were dashed. It had been the longest of long shots anyway, but the pendant not being here meant we would never know if the it was destroyed in the fire or taken elsewhere before the disaster.
We headed back to the elder’s home in silence. The people who had come out to greet us earlier waved and bowed as we walked through the small town. It was quite unlike anywhere else I’d ever seen, with abundant wealth but bland and unremarkable. All the houses looked like the next, made from white stone and perfectly manicured lawns with no flowers.
“Thank you for the opportunity to examine the property,” James said as we all trudged back into the elder’s house.
“Has anyone else come asking about the fire, or the woman who lived there?” Opal enquired.
I held my breath, awaiting her reply. I was not the only one. We didn’t find the pendant, but we still had a chance to find Jet. The elder seemed to read the room well and answered Opal directly for once. “No. No one visits here except those with vacation homes, but new people, no. You're the first to come to visit in… oh, forever, really.”
She glanced at her window, and I followed her gaze. I saw nothing but the shifting colors of the sky turning to dusk.
“Your Highness, given the time, and how you arrived, I must insist that you all stay the night as my guests. Many of the homes are vacant at this time of year, and I have keys to them all.”
After the previous night of sleeping on the grass, the sound of a warm bed sounded heavenly. I expected James to say no, to not want to intrude, but he smiled warmly at the elder and agreed to stay.
She took us to one of the larger houses in the town, and after pulling a huge set of keys from her pocket, proceeded to unlock the door.
“There are enough rooms for each of you, should you so wish,” she said to the prince. Beside him, Opal’s face reddened. I suppressed a smirk then caught River watching me. Opal wasn’t the only one who had thoughts about which room she would be sleeping in that night, but as River looked away from me, I knew I’d be sleeping alone.
I woke up the next morning to a dark room and cold feet. At some point, the fire in the fireplace had begun to die down. I let out a sigh and, wrapping the thin top blanket around my shoulders, shuffled across the hardwood floor to the fireplace to add wood.
Just as I put my hand on the kindling pile, I heard someone's voice coming from the room next to mine. River’s room. A woman’s voice. The same woman’s voice I’d heard back in his room at the palace. An ember in my gut flared, just like the embers in the fireplace as I flung handfuls of kindling over them.
There was no way I was imagining it, but I couldn’t see how he’d managed to bring a woman with him without me noticing. The voice wasn’t as sweet as Kaida’s, nor a brusque as Opal’s. Besides, when I’d heard it back at the palace, they’d both been sleeping in the same room as me. So if it wasn’t Opal or Kaida, just who was it that River had sneaked into his room in the middle of the night...twice?
I set a few logs in the reborn fire, this time with a bit more care, and then slipped from my room. I padded down the hall, testing each step for creaking with my foot before putting my full weight down until I reached River's room. I brought my ear to the door.
I heard River's voice, though I only made out a few words. Then, he laughed, and the woman laughed too. She said, “Oh, River. You should have been a jester.”
I snarled and found myself hammering his door with my fist. Everything immediately went silent. I didn't stop knocking when he called out, “I'm coming,” and kept hammering until he opened the door just enough to see out.
River stood in a robe, peering through the crack in the door. “Freya. You woke me up. Is everything all right?” He rubbed one eye with the heel of his hand, somewhat dramatically, I thought.
“Put it in a barrel, River. I heard you talking to someone. Who's in there with you?”
His neck and cheeks grew red, and his eyebrows furrowed over narrowed eyes, then he rubbed his face with both hands, and when he lowered them, his expression was again placid. “No one, of course. What makes you think there’s anyone in there with me? It’s the middle of the night.”
“I’m well aware it’s the middle of the night. I clearly just heard a woman's voice. You were both laughing over something you said.”
River's placid expression turned into a wan smile. “Freya. I don’t have anyone in my room. Maybe you were dreaming?”
He looked confident as he spoke, but I sensed something in his eyes. He couldn’t look at me directly.
“Can I look inside, then? If you're telling me the truth, you'll have no problem with it.”
He pursed his lips but stepped back and opened the door wider. “If that's what it takes for you to believe me, then, by all means, investigate me. Don't forget to check under the bed, I keep all my mistresses there.”
I flinched at his words. If he did have someone in his room, he wouldn’t let me in so easily, but I’d heard her. I’d heard him conversing with her. There was no way I‘d dreamed it, or was there? Maybe I was being ridiculous.
I walked into his room. Just like the rest of the house, there was little in it. Only the bed and a wardrobe. Next to his bed, his backpack was laid out with his clothes sprawling out of it. But there was no woman. I stood rooted to the spot, unsure what to do next. Part of me wanted to duck to take a look under the bed or to wade over to the wardrobe, but I knew I wouldn’t find anything in there. Whoever she was, I’d imagined her. Heat rose up my neck at what I’d accused him of. I'd basically called him a liar, and it hadn't been the first time. Frustration, tiredness, and a deep loneliness I’d not expected hit me hard, and I felt myself on the verge of tears. My relationship with River had been strained for days, and I’d made it worse. Maybe that’s what the other woman’s voice really was. River had told me he wanted to wait, and I’d turned that into him sleeping with another woman in my over-active imagination. I turned to face him, barely keeping the tears at bay.
“River...I...”
River spoke, his voice low and soft, “It's been a long day. We’re all exhausted.” He moved forward and pulled me into his arms. As my mind whirred, he stroked my head. I pulled back slightly to look at his face. He reached a thumb up and wiped a tear from below my eye that I hadn’t noticed escaping. I could barely breathe with the weight of my accusation weighing heavily on my chest, but as he leaned down and kissed me, my whole body lightened until I was so lost in him that I’d forgotten why I’d come to his room in the first place.
He moved me over to his bed, a bed that most certainly didn’t have anyone else in it, and slowly lowered me until my head was on the pillow. He hovered just inches above me, and I found myself desperate for his lips to touch mine again. I lifted my face up to meet his, but he pulled back.
“I’m not seeing anyone but you,” he whispered. As I looked into his eyes, I saw the truth in them. He kissed me lightly on the cheek, making my entire body shiver in excitement. My breathing deepened in anticipation, but he rolled off me to lie next to me on the bed.
“I know you are finding this difficult, believe me. There is nothing I want more than for you to spend the night with me. Just having you here in my bed is nearly killing me, but I won’t be like him.”
I shook my head. “Like who?”
“My father slept with everyone in town. It destroyed my mother. She loved him, but after he’d cheated on her so many times...”
“I never thought you were like your father. Do you want to be with other people?”
He laughed sadly. “No. Before I met you, I avoided women as much as possible. I was terrified I’d hurt someone as much as my father hurt my mother. I figured it would be easier to go through life on my own...but then I met you.”
I brought my hand up and rested it under my head. I’d never known River to be scared of anything. The man who had no problem walking into werewolf-infested woods was sca
red of commitment. It would have been funny if it wasn’t so heartbreaking.
“I never wanted anyone like I want you. Not anywhere close, but along with that is the fear that I’ll hurt you.”
“I’m a big girl, you know. I can handle anything you throw at me.”
“Freya. I’ve just wiped tears from your face because you thought you heard a woman in here. How worse would that have been if there actually was a woman in here?”
He had a point. I’d have been devastated. “But, you didn’t.”
He leaned back and stared at the ceiling. “No, I didn’t. Nor do I have any desire to have anyone but you in my bed.”
“You know, you’re kind of in luck on that point. I’m in your bed right now. I want to be here.”
He turned to look at me again, and this time, there were tears in his eyes. I’d never seen River cry. Not about anything. He was usually so strong, so stoic.
“I love you.”
My heart almost stopped at his words. My whole life came crashing in on me as every emotion I’d ever experienced felt insignificant before now.
And then, I knew I couldn’t sleep with him. Not like this. I wanted to. Firefae, I wanted it more than I’d wanted anything, but I couldn’t have our first time together be marred over the thought I’d come here looking for a fight...and another woman.
As I slipped off the bed, his eyes widened. “Where are you going?”
I kissed him lightly on the lips with the knowledge that anything more and I’d stay the night, reasoning be damned.
“I’m doing what you want. I’m going back to my own room. I’m going to sleep as should you. I’ll spend the night with you soon. Hopefully, very soon, but when you are ready to.”
“I am ready,” he whispered. I walked to the door, and as I opened it, I whispered back in answer. “I love you too. I’ll see you in the morning.” Slowly, quietly, and with every cell in my body cursing my rationale, I closed the door behind me. By the time I’d gotten back to my room, I hoped he’d come after me. Feeling like the world’s biggest idiot, I jumped into bed and thumped a pillow for good measure. Who in their right mind would go to their boyfriend’s room to accuse him of cheating, then turn down the offer to spend the night? No one. Obviously, I wasn’t in my right mind.
When it became obvious that River wasn’t going to follow me, I tried to convince my tired brain to sleep. But sleep wasn’t forthcoming, and the woman’s voice drifted into my mind. I believed River when he told me he didn’t want anyone else, but the woman’s voice had sounded so real. If she wasn’t real, it meant I really was losing my mind. As her voice started to swirl into a dream, something jolted me awake. Her voice again, but this time, it wasn’t a dream. I lay in the bed, listening to her speaking. Her voice was low and muffled, but I could hear her. I twiddled my thumbs as I strained to hear her. She sounded so real. If she was a figment of my imagination, how was River talking back to her? Heat filled me as I jumped out of bed for a second time. This time, when I strode out into the corridor, I was quiet as a mouse. I tiptoed to his door and listened with my ear to it.
“She’ll be asleep now. I told her she was dreaming, but I hate lying to her.”
My breath caught in my throat at the horror of his words. Not only had he just admitted lying to me, but when I was in his room, and he was declaring his undying love for me, she really must have been under the bed or in the closet.
I had to take a few deep breaths to not throw up on the floor right outside his room. Heat flooded me, filling me with anger. I had two choices. Either go back to bed and pretend this wasn’t happening or do what I was about to do. I didn’t even consider the going back to bed idea.
Ramming my clenched fist hard against the door, I screamed through it.
“River you lying, cheating, ogre-loving son of a...”
River opened the door, flinging it wide open. He grabbed me by the shoulders and pulled me inside, closing the door behind us with one foot. "Calm down Freya, you'll awaken the whole house."
“I don’t give a rat’s ass about the rest of the house!” I craned to look over his shoulder. The woman wasn’t there. “Has she gone back to her hiding place in the closet?”
“Stop,” he shouted, his voice echoing off the hardwood floor and walls. His grim expression hardened. “Come and sit on the bed. There's something… I have something I need to tell you.”
Chapter 23
I stared at River as he pulled the room's one chair closer to where I sat on his bed. A knot of discomfort grew at the base of my neck, threatening to become a full-blown headache, as my tension mounted. I sat rigidly, like a statue, and had to remind myself to blink as I forced myself to take deep, even breaths. "Very well. Let's get this over with. Who and where is she? Do I, at least, get to meet her?"
Plopping into the chair, he met my gaze with his. “It's not what you think. How would I even have another woman, here of all places? Please, just listen.”
“She could be invisible. Magic does exist, you know.”
River let out a long breath, shaking his head slowly. “Of course, it does. And it plays a part in this, but just hear me out. It's important for all of us.”
I huffed out through my nose but didn't reply. Fine. He could have his say, and I'd be the judge of how important some tart was to all of us. I nodded once, curtly. “Then spit it out, and let's get this over with.”
“I already told you, it's not what you think it is.”
“Good. I hope it's not. So what is it, then?”
River took a deep breath. He started to say something but stopped. He started again but stopped. I waited with as much patience as I could muster, until he finally said, “My mother left my father and me when I was very little, because of my father's abuse. She took so many beatings, and that is almost the only thing I remembered of her.”
“But, the cornbread…”
He shook his head. “As a kid, having the father I had made life difficult enough. Having him for a father and also being the kid whose mother left, well, it was too hard to bear the thought. So, I just pretended she hadn't left. It was easier that way."
River looked down, head slumping, and seemed to visibly shrink into himself, looking at me only in glances. “No one questioned it since no one ever visited us anyway. I learned to fend for myself, especially after my father left me when I was eleven. I learned to cook and told people it was my mother's cooking. At eleven, I was humiliated to tell anyone that both my parents had left me.”
I froze, my heart going out to him. But, he wasn't a child any longer… That thought squashed my burgeoning sympathy. “You could have told me, at least.”
“I never told anyone. It has become a lifelong habit, just the way my world works. I didn't even think of telling you until long after it had become awkward to do so.”
“You stopped being that child a long time ago. I feel for you, and I can't pretend to understand what that must have felt like, but what has that to do with anything going on now?”
”I'm getting to it. A friend of my mother in Kaida's village told her she'd seen a man named River, asking if that could be her son. She had wanted to contact me for years, but didn't think I'd want to speak to her again for leaving me.”
“Firefae... that's… I don't know what to say. What happened?”
River's face brightened. “About a month ago, she persuaded her friend, a dragon shifter like Kaida, to fly to my house for her. My mother is a Miranin, a High Witch of Mirandor.”
“The South Kingdom?”
River nodded. “She gave her friend something to give to me. It's a mirror. Not just any mirror, but a magical one. It lets me talk to her if conditions are right. We've been talking ever since.”
“It was your mother? This whole time, you were talking to your mom. Why didn’t you tell me? You always flinch when I mention magic.”
“I hate magic. Nothing good ever comes of it, but... I hated magic for a long time because I hated her. I associated ma
gic with her. I never thought I’d see the day when I would use it to talk to her. It scares the wits out of me. We've been talking ever since I got the mirror and worked up the courage to use it.”
“I wish you’d have trusted me enough to tell me,” I said, my eyes finding the floor. He’d not deceived me in the way I thought he had, but he’d still deceived me. “You’ve been lying to me.”
He brought his hands forward and took mine. “I did. I knew what I was doing was hurting us, but I didn’t even know what I felt about my mother when I started talking to her. We’d only just started dating, and I had this massive pile of crap from the past land on my head. It was easier to pretend none of it was happening, and then we started on this quest, and I figured everyone...you would be caught up enough trying to find Jet. I didn’t want to add to everyone’s problems with my own. I did plan to tell you, but I needed to work out my own feelings first.”
I finally took my eyes from the floor between us and looked up. A tear marked a trail down his face. The way he looked at me told me he really was sorry for what he had done.
“Please forgive me.”
“No more secrets.”
He nodded fervently. “No more secrets. I’ll be an open book.”
“I think you should tell me everything. Start from the beginning.”
He stood from his chair and walked around the bed, lying down next to me. I turned to face him, placing my hands under my head.
I watched his lips move as he talked. I’d never heard so much emotion in his voice as when he told me about his childhood. He didn’t look my way once, but talked with his gaze to the ceiling, his hands cradling his head. Tears fell as he told me story after story of his father’s abuse. His mother’s abandonment had hit him hard. I understood why she had to leave, but I didn’t understand why his mother couldn’t take River with her. River told me it took him a long time to forgive her. I moved forward, taking him in my arms as his voice cracked. We lay like that for hours, him letting go of his childhood, pouring out all the horrible things that had happened to him, while I silently stroked his head and wiped away his tears. When we woke up in the morning, my arms were stiff with the weight of his head wrapped in them.
The Unicorn Quest Page 15