by Willa Hart
I never failed to notice the way Kellum lit up when he played with Tamar’s son, Soso. He’d make such a wonderful father, which could never happen if he stayed with me. Aunt Shirley had told me many times how a human woman was incapable of bearing dragon fledglings, which was part of the reason she’d “adopted” Max’s great-nephews.
Kellum wasn’t the only one who’d make a wonderful father. They all would, and I wanted that for them. They deserved it. They’d be far better off finding female dragons to mate with, and that knowledge made me feel miserable. And guilty. So selfish to think only of how broken I would be if they ever left me.
Tears burned tracks down my cheeks as I pulled my knees up to my chest and rested my chin, feeling lower than low. I couldn’t remember the last time I felt so sad and hopeless, even after all of my emotional experiments.
Deep sorrow was a strong emotion. Perhaps I could use it to channel my powers and find Zoe. Might as well give it a shot. I closed my eyes and breathed deeply, dropping into my vision state and putting out feelers for my best friend. I tried for several minutes, but it was all in vain. I couldn’t find her. It wasn’t even a needle in a haystack. There wasn’t even a haystack in sight. It was like trying to find a needle in the ocean.
Hopeless.
I couldn’t hold back anymore. That lump in my throat ached and I started to shake, my shoulders trembling with sobs. Tears rolled down my face and down my knees as I sat there, curled up and totally broken inside.
Almost as though they could sense it, Ryen brought a plate of food over for me as Danic walked out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped low around his hips. They wrapped their arms around me while I cried, both of them staying quiet. They didn’t know how to fix me. It was all going straight to hell, like it or not.
“Favor,” Ryen started, but was interrupted by the door slamming open.
Kellum and Mariam strode in, looking happier than I’d ever seen either of them. It didn’t escape my attention that her arm was tucked neatly through the crook of his.
“We heard from the jadokari,” Kellum announced, his blue eyes sparkling with satisfaction. Or maybe happiness.
“This had better be good news,” Ryen warned.
They grinned, lighting up the entire universe with their smiles.
“You tell them,” Kellum said to Mariam in Balaur, but she shook her head, her silky locks bouncing around her shoulders.
“No, you should have that honor.”
“They sent us a message that they’re willing to accept only the Heart in exchange for Zoe.”
“Yes!” Ryen shouted, pumping his fist.
Danic whooped and high fived Ryen, then Kellum, then stopped when Mariam flinched like he was going to hit her.
Somewhere in the muck of my mind, I knew I should be celebrating too, but all I could think of was how Kellum had said “us” and “we,” as though he and Mariam were a bona fide couple.
Then there was the fact that Max had very explicitly ordered me to keep the Dragon’s Heart safe. We all knew it was evil and dangerous to dragons, yet it was my duty to protect it, presumably from falling into the wrong hands. Namely, the hands of the jadokari.
All eyes turned to me, waiting for my answer. I was the keeper of the Heart, entrusted by the leader of our weir to keep it safe. Handing it over to our enemies would be my decision.
I found it a surprisingly easy one to make. They’d defeated me. They’d broken my spirit. I was defeated, distraught, and I couldn’t think of a more wonderful thing than to be rid of the nuisance that plagued me, day and night, with its incessant pounding against my belly.
“Fine,” I sighed with a weak shrug. “Let them have it. I just want this to be over.”
They broke into excited chatter, amped up at the thought of completing the mission. I watched from my seat as they smiled and laughed and congratulated each other, Mariam pressed up against Kellum’s side like she never wanted to leave him. I couldn’t blame her. He was amazing, and he deserved the same.
Part of me flared with jealousy, wanting to kick off the most epic cat-fight ever. Not that I’d win against a dragon, but the urge remained. Sadness overpowered it though, because there really wouldn’t be any point. My heart felt hollow when I made the decision, though the Heart seemed more full of life than ever before. It felt like a sign. Once we were back home, I’d release all of my boys from their bond to me. I’d set them free so they could go find proper mates, start families, live the lives they deserved.
At least I’d have Zoe.
Chapter 10
Hale and I volunteered to clean up after dinner, which turned out to not be as big of a hassle as I would have thought. Mariam had made khachapuri, a traditional Romanian dish of a cheese-stuffed bread boat with a large egg cooked in the middle of it. It was every bit as hearty and satisfying as it sounded, and totally worth the pain of the food baby in my stomach. Sadly, our cottage didn’t come stocked with a supply of hot sauce.
A taste of normalcy was nice, not that it could do much to cheer me up. But I tried. Mariam had rambled on in Balaur for nearly an hour about Romanian street food and drinks, and we tried to keep up with our own experiences with taco trucks in L.A. Banal banter you’d expect from an impromptu dinner party.
Naturally, I couldn’t help noticing the way she watched Kellum. She laughed at even the slightest humorous comment, as long as he said it. Any time he left the table, her eyes followed his every move. She even mirrored his mannerisms. I tried not to dwell on it, but it was like a fly that wouldn’t stop buzzing around my head.
At least the others were a good distraction. Danic had insisted on having multiple eggs loaded onto his serving, and he watched the process of cooking it as if Mariam was performing some kind of sorcery. Ryen cracked jokes about Danic’s promising future in the culinary arts entirely driven by his newfound love of what was basically egg-pizza. Mariam naturally educated him on how khachapuri was most certainly not egg-pizza, while Hale and Ash whispered that Ryen just liked getting a rise out of Danic. It all felt so natural, but I couldn’t help remembering that old kid’s show where someone sings “One of these things is not like the others.”
That thing was me.
It had been easy for me to get swept up in the romance of being in a happy relationship with all five of my boys while we were in L.A. Everything was fresh and new and exciting, full of possibilities and adventure. But now that I’d seen what their lives could be — a single mate devoted to them, fledglings of their own, long lives full of family — I wanted that for them.
It tore me up inside, but deep down I knew it would be selfish of me to expect them to never seek out more traditional situations just because I couldn’t imagine living without even one of them in my life. They all deserved so much more, so much better than I could ever offer.
“Hey, you okay?” Danic asked as he passed me the last plate to dry.
“Hmm?” I jerked when he pulled me out of my dark thoughts.
Concern swam in his depthless gray eyes and overpowered his normally strong scent of a beachwood bonfire. No need to worry him, though a plan to start the process of pulling back from them had already hatched.
“Oh, I’m fine,” I finally said, mustering my most guileless smile.
As I set the now-dry plate on top of the others, Mariam stood and stretched with a loud yawn. “Thank you for letting me cook for you all but I really must be going.”
The guys spent time thanking her for the wonderful meal — Kellum would never go hungry with her around — and saying their goodbyes while I watched Kellum closely. He didn’t seem any more eager than the others, but I could see Mariam’s green eyes always tracking back to him.
I eased over to Kellum, waiting for the right moment. When she finally waved a hand in farewell and the others turned to finish tidying up, I nudged him with my shoulder.
“You should walk her to her car.”
He looked down at me in confusion. “Huh? Why?”
; I shrugged. “It’s dark outside.”
“I sincerely doubt any muggers are waiting for her to come out of our little hovel,” he said with a chuckle.
“Excellent point,” I said, laying a hand on his back and pushing him toward the door. “They’re much more likely to be in town. You should drive back with her, make sure she makes it home safe.”
He planted his feet, preventing me from pushing him any farther, and gave me a puzzled look. “She’ll be fine, Favor. She lives here, grew up here. Besides, I doubt there are many muggers in a village the size of Turdzi. Not ones that would try to attack a dragon, anyway.”
Why wasn’t he jumping at the chance to escort Mariam home? They clearly got along well, and even if he wasn’t exactly having romantic feelings toward her — yet — I would have expected him to behave chivalrously regardless. That he seemed disinterested in spending more time with her threw me off my game a bit.
“That would be true for human muggers, but there are untold numbers of jadokari and melots out there running around waiting to pounce. Plus, she’s a key member of the rebellion, so doesn’t it make sense we make sure she doesn’t become Zoe’s roommate?”
I took his hand and dragged him toward the door. We made it as far as the front step before Mariam’s car engine started. That was also the moment Kellum decided to dig in his heels and refuse to move another step. I watched as Mariam’s tail lights grew dimmer until they winked out of sight completely. Dammit!
“Favor, what the hell is going on with you?” he asked, sounding equal parts annoyed and worried. “Your emotions seem jumbled. What’s wrong?”
I’ve never been much of a liar, and as the brisk night air cleared my head, I realized how foolish I’d been to try to manipulate him into a relationship with Mariam. I should have just told him outright.
“I’ve seen how well you two work together, Kellum.”
“So?” His head cocked to one side, like a curious dog. “Why is your face getting all red?”
I couldn’t stop the heat of heartbreak from flooding my face, nor could I stop the sting of tears in my eyes, but maybe I could prevent them from falling. I took a deep breath and gave him a watery smile.
“Kellum, I just want you to be happy. Please don’t make me spell it out for you.”
A muscle in his jaw flexed and he leaned down a bit so his piercing gaze could look into every nook and cranny of my soul. “Last time before I get pissed off. What the hell are you talking about?”
“I’m talking about you and Mariam. Duh!”
“What about me and Mariam?”
I threw my hands up and took the couple steps down to the ground. The night sky so far from civilization looked so close, like a ceiling painted with a bajjilionty glittering dots. We could stay here for ten years, instead of just ten days, and I’d still never get used to the overpowering beauty of it all. But more than that, I needed to put some space between us so I wouldn’t break down.
“You two look so good together, so natural.” I spun around to face him, only to find him standing a couple feet away, watching me carefully. I tried to hold back the deluge, but my tears apparently had a mind of their own. A huge sob gripped my chest, but in the end I managed to swallow most of it.
But not enough.
“Favor—” He took a half-step toward me.
“No,” I said, shaking my head wildly, partly to clear my eyes. “You deserve so much better, Kellum. You deserve everything — including a beautiful dragon mate who can give you children.”
“Favor—”
“I can’t give that to you, as much as I might want to. It was supremely selfish of me to think we could all live together happily forever and ever amen. So damn selfish! Kellum, believe me, I will live the rest of my life filled with guilt and grief if you don’t go make a thousand beautiful babies with her.”
“Fledglings.”
I blinked at least three times — okay, maybe forty — before I was able to process what he’d said. Actually, I still didn’t.
“What?”
He gave me a soft smile and pulled me into his arms as my body lurched and shook with great wracking sobs. I melted into his embrace, grateful for the contact, and buried my face in his warm, broad chest, breathing in his essence. When it hit me that this was just about the exact opposite of what I’d intended, I pushed away from him, wiping my face as dry as I could.
“No! I’m serious, Kellum.”
His expression grew somber as the crickets started up again after Mariam’s departure. “So am I, Favor. I don’t care about any of that nonsense, you need to trust me on that.” He cupped my face in his hands, his gaze as loving as I’d ever seen. “Favor, all I want, all I’ve ever wanted, was you.”
“But—”
He silenced me with a sweet kiss that had my toes curling inside my shoes. I drank him in, my hands running up his arms even as tears cascaded down my cheeks.
“Um, did we miss something?”
We broke apart to find Ryen, Danic, Ash and Hale standing on the little stoop, watching us with concern. Danic’s fierce gaze scanned our surroundings, his body tensed and ready to spring.
“Did you hear someone out here?” he asked. “Who’s on patrol right now?”
“Gunner,” Ash said offhandedly. “But I don’t think that’s what’s going on here.”
“Everything’s fine,” Kellum said, wrapping a protective arm around my shoulders. “Well, not exactly fine. Favor here thinks I should start dating Mariam.”
The twins shared a dumbfounded look while Ryen barked out a startled laugh.
“Oh em gee, in the vernacular of our time,” Ryen said, half-frowning, half-smiling at me. “Favor, you’re not serious, are you?”
I ducked out from under Kellum’s arm and took a few paces to the side. How the hell could I concentrate on setting him up with another woman when he was so damn intoxicating?
“Of course, I am! And it goes for the rest of you too.” I buried my face in my hands, then swept them through my hair. “I was planning to wait until we got back home for this conversation, but I guess now’s as good a time as any. I won’t allow you to be chained to me like an anchor. I love all of you far too much to deprive you of a full, rich life—”
“Stop,” Ryen said, bounding down the steps and skidding to a stop in front of me. “I’d like to say I appreciate the sentiment, Favor, but I’ve never much cared for people making life-altering decisions for me. I think I can speak for the rest of us when I say we’re not going anywhere.”
“What he said,” Hale said with a smile as he joined us.
Ash followed. “Ditto.”
The others stumbled away when Danic bowled through them to get to me. He swept me up into a massive bear hug that was so tight, my back popped. Who needed a chiropractor when you had a thunder of dragons to adjust your spine with their hugs?
Before I could catch my breath, his lips were on my neck, my face, my lips, peppering me with sweet little kisses, until he set me back on my feet. To my eternal surprise, I found wetness shining in his eyes as he sniffed and gave me an earnest look.
“We would never think of you as a burden, Favor,” he said, his voice thick with emotion. “I know I can speak for the rest of us when I say we love you too. I wouldn’t trade you for a pile of gold the size of Ryen’s ego.”
“Hey!” Ryen tried to look offended, then shrugged. “Big guy’s right. Losing you would be like losing a limb. Sorry to break it to you, but you’re stuck with us, babycakes.”
The others nodded emphatically, then Kellum reached out to stroke my arm. “What about you? If you want children, we won’t stand in your way—”
“No,” I said, a shiver of happiness rattling up my spine. “As long as you’re all with me — all of you — then I’ll die a happy woman.”
Kellum must have seen my shiver, because he quickly pulled me to him and led me inside, with the rest of my boys following. Danic shut and locked the door behind us as Kellum led
me to the edge of the bed and sat next to me. The others piled on willy-nilly.
“You know, it occurs to me that we’ve never really defined what ‘us’ means to us.”
“About damn time,” Ash agreed, with the others nodding their agreement again.
As the leader of their little unit, Kellum spoke for everyone. “Our relationship might seem…unconventional, even by dragon standards, but I think it’s safe to say we’re a…couple?”
His gaze darted around the bed, searching for a better term. Leave it to Ryen to find it. And with a lascivious eyebrow waggle to top it off.
“Sextuple.”
“Oh lord,” Danic groaned, shaking his head.
“What?” Ryen whined. “That’s what it’s called! Anyway, doesn’t matter what we call it. What you need to know is that I love the hell out of you, Party Favor. The fact four of the people I love almost as much as you also love you is only a bonus. Just as long as you don’t expect me to dabble in incest, we’re all good.”
All five of them shuddered at that, which finally drew a laugh out of me. I couldn’t believe it! I’d have bet that at least one of them was having second thoughts, or at the very least twinges. But my dragon lie detector never went off once, which meant the idea of never having kids — excuse me, fledglings — really didn’t bother them.
It was then that something dawned on me. Something that probably should have sooner, but it seemed so unlikely, so totally out there. Yet it also made a boatload of sense. I looked at each of them in turn, my eyes brimming with joyful tears.
“I get it now. I’m not a dragon keeper. I’m a dragon mate!”
“Dragons mate, plural,” Ryen said, dropping a kiss on my cheek before heading to the kitchenette to make tea.
“Of course! You were never meant to be keeper to any of us.” Ash turned a grin on his brother.
“You were meant to be our mate,” Hale finished.