'I suppose not,' said Bill, though grudgingly.
'One must always try to put oneself in the other fellow's place. You could hardly have expected him in the circumstances to extend a warm southern welcome.'
'I suppose not,' said Bill, less grudgingly.
As far as Tipton Plimsoll was concerned, the whole unpleasant matter was now forgotten. The smile which had stolen into his face and receded returned with increased brilliance. It became a grin which would have made an excellent substitute for the evening sunlight, if the latter had for any reason decided to cease to illuminate the terrace.
'Gosh,' he said, 'this is a weight off my mind. This is where I begin to live. You don't know what it's been like this last week, never being able to take the slightest snifter without seeing a hideous – without seeing a face bob up in the offing. I couldn't have stuck it out much longer. Mind you, now that I'm going to be married—'
'Are you going to be married?'
'You betcher.'
'Congratulations,' said Bill.
'Thanks, old man,' said Tipton.
'I hope you will be very, very happy, old man,' said Bill.
'I'll do just that little thing, old man,' said Tipton. 'As I was saying,' he went on, resuming his remarks, 'now that I'm going to be married, I've finished with all the rough stuff and I don't suppose I shall go on another real toot for the rest of my life, except of course on New Year's Eve—'
'Of course,' said Bill.
'—and Boat Race Night—'
'Naturally,' said Bill.
'—and special occasions like that,' said Tipton. 'But it's nice to know that one will be able to lower the stuff in strict moderation. It makes you feel so darned silly, swigging barley water when the rest of the boys are having highballs. Yes, it's certainly been a life-saver, running into you.'
'"Running into" is right,' said Bill.
'Ha, ha,' said Tipton, laughing heartily.
'Ha, ha,' said Bill, also laughing heartily.
Tipton slapped Bill's back. Bill slapped Tipton's. The Hon. Galahad beamed with growing approval on this delightful scene of cordiality and good feeling. He now asked Tipton if he would be offended if he were to take his godson to one side and impart to him something which was exclusively for his personal ear; and Tipton said: 'Go ahead, go right ahead.' Gally said they would be only half a minute, and Tipton said: 'Take your time, take your time, take your time.'
'Bill,' said Gally, leading him to the terrace wall and speaking in a low, urgent voice, 'we have come to a crisis in your affairs. It's most unfortunate that you should have formed such a warm friendship with this chap Plimsoll.'
'He seems a good sort.'
'A capital young fellow. Grouchy when I first met him, but now the living image of his uncle Chet, who was the most carefree soul who ever wrecked a restaurant. Very rich.'
'Is he?'
'Enormously. And I feel he likes you.'
'I thought he was matey.'
'Yes, I think you have made an excellent first impression. And everything now depends on him.'
'How do you mean?'
A rather sombre look had come into the Hon. Galahad's monocle.
'I was telling you, when he came up, that an unfortunate thing had happened. Prue's original plan, if you remember, was to get the capital for modernizing and running the Mulberry Tree from my brother Clarence. And with that necklace under our belts this could have been done. Prue told you about the necklace in her letter?'
'Yes. It struck me as the goods.'
'It was the goods. With it in our possession, we should have been able to dictate terms. Most unfortunately, I've lost it.'
'What!'
'It has been pinched. I went to my room just now, to make sure it was there, and it wasn't.'
'Oh, my aunt!'
Gally shook his head.
'It isn't your aunt that matters, it's Prue's. There is just a chance that it isn't Hermione who has got the thing, but if she has, our flank is turned and only one hope remains. We must try to get that capital from young Plimsoll.'
'But I can't. We've only just met.'
'Quite. But his feelings towards you are obviously warm. I got the impression that he was so much obliged to you for not being a spectre that you would be able to ask of him anything you wished, even unto half his kingdom. At any rate, his are the ribs we must endeavour to get into. Tails up, and leave the talking to me. Dash it,' said Gally, with much the same gallant spirit as had animated Freddie when about to broach the subject of Donaldson's Dog-Joy to Major R. B. and Lady Emily Finch, 'I've talked the hind legs off the toughest bookies in my time and defeated in debate bouncers at all the principal bars both in London and New York. I should not fail now.'
VI
'Tell me, my dear Plimsoll,' said Gally. 'Or may I call you Tipton?'
'Why, sure,' said Tipton. 'Or, rather, Tippy. You, too,' he added handsomely.
'Thanks, Tippy,' said Bill.
'Not at all,' said Tipton. 'Delighted.'
The Hon. Galahad allowed his monocle to play upon him like a sunbeam, well pleased that such a delightful atmosphere of camaraderie should have been established at the very outset of the negotiations.
'What I was about to ask you, my dear Tippy,' he said, 'was, have you ever given a thought to modern trends?'
'Well, I'll tell you,' said Tipton, learning for the first time that these existed, 'what with one thing and another, no.'
'When I say "modern trends",' proceeded Gally, 'I am thinking at the moment of the amusement world. Amazing how people's tastes have altered since I was your age. Tempora mutantur, nos et mutumur in illis.'
'You betcher,' said Tipton, fogged but courteous.
'Take the simple matter of having a drink. In my young days one just went down the street to a bar.'
'And not at all a bad thing to do,' said Tipton.
'Quite. But see how the motor-car has changed all that. The cry now is all for the great outdoors. The fellow with a thirst grabs the nearest girl, dumps her in his automobile, and ho for the open spaces. Instead of suffocating in some smelly bar in London they take their refreshment on the cool terrace swept by the healthy breezes of a country inn outside Oxford.'
'Oxford?'
'Oxford.'
'Why Oxford particularly?' asked Tipton.
'Because,' said Gally, 'that is the modern trend. Oxford is a nice easy distance, and you are right away from all the stuffiness of London. A man who owns an inn anywhere near Oxford is a man to be envied.'
'I guess so,' said Tipton.
'Such a man, to take an instance, as Bill.'
'Bill?'
'Bill.'
'This Bill?'
'That's the one,' said Gally. 'He is the proprietor of a picturesque inn not far from Oxford, and what I have been telling him is that if he branches out and turns the place into what they call in your country a roadhouse with all the modern improvements, he has a gold mine. You probably agree with me?'
'Oh, sure.'
'I thought you would. Properly developed, this inn of Bill's would be a bonanza.'
'I'll say.'
'It is situated in the most delightful spot of one of England's most delightful counties. People would come from miles around merely to look at the scenery. Add a first-class cellar, squash racket courts, a jazz band and really fine cooking, perfectly served – out of doors on the terrace in good weather, in the richly panelled dining-room when it was wet – and you would have something which would draw the automobile trade like a magnet.'
'Is the dining-room richly panelled?'
'Not yet. I was going to touch on that point. To develop this place – the Mulberry Tree is its name – will require capital.'
'Sure. You can't branch out without capital.'
'I close my eyes,' said Gally, doing so, 'and I seem to see the Mulberry Tree as it will be when all the improvements are completed. Turning in off the main road, we drive through a fairylike garden studded with colo
ured lanterns.'
'With a fountain in the middle.'
'With, of course, a fountain in the middle.'
'Lit up with coloured lights.'
'Lit up, as you say, with coloured lights. I really am delighted at the way you are taking hold, my dear Tippy. I knew that I should interest you.'
'Oh, you do. Where were we?'
'We had reached the fountain. To our right are wide, spreading gardens, rich in every variety of flower; to our left, through the dim, mysterious trees, we catch a glimpse of shimmering silver.'
'Do we?' said Tipton. 'Why's that?'
'The swimming pool,' explained Gally.
'There's a swimming pool, is there?'
'There will be – once we have got the capital.'
Tipton reflected.
'I'd have artificial waves.'
'An admirable idea.'
'Artificial waves make such a difference.'
'All the difference. Make a note of artificial waves, Bill.'
'Right ho, Gally.'
'We then approach the terrace.'
'That's where the dinner is?'
'If the night is fine.'
'Look,' said Tipton, beginning to take fire, 'I'll tell you about that terrace. Make it a bower of roses.'
'We will.'
'You want one of those things you have over things. What are those things you have over things?'
'Umbrellas?' hazarded Bill.
'Bill!' said Gally reproachfully. 'You can't get an umbrella to smell like roses. You know that. The word Tippy is searching for, I imagine, is "pergolas".'
'Pergolas. That's right. You've got to have a rose-covered pergola, and you hide your jazz band behind a mass of luxurious honeysuckle. Gosh, it'll be great,' said Tipton, snapping his fingers. 'How much per head for dinner?'
'Eight shillings, I thought.'
'Make it ten bob. No one will ever know the difference. Well, look. Call it on an average night two hundred dinners at ten bob a nob, that's a hundred quid right out of the box. And when you reflect that that's going on all through the summer ... And then there are the drinks. Don't forget the drinks. That's where the big profit comes in. Cocktails would be served on little tables around the fountain.'
'And on the brink of the swimming pool.'
Tipton had begun to pace up and down, expressing his emotion in sweeping gestures.
'Bill,' he said, 'you're on to a big thing.'
'I think so, Tippy.'
'Yessir, big. Folks'll come from all over the country. You won't be able to keep them away with an injunction. They'll have to tell off a special squad of cops to handle the traffic. You'll be a millionaire before you know where you are.'
'That's what I tell him,' said Gally. 'Really, one sees no limits to the enterprise.'
'None,' agreed Tipton.
'There only remains this trifling matter of the capital.'
'The capital. Sure.'
'Get the capital, and we can start to-morrow.'
'Get the capital, and you're home.'
'Three thousand might do it.'
'Four would be safer.'
'Or five.'
'Yes, maybe five. Yes, five's the figure I see.'
Gally laid an affectionate hand on Tipton's shoulder and massaged it.
'You would really be prepared to put up five thousand pounds?' he asked tenderly.
Tipton stared.
'Me? Put up five thousand pounds? I'm not going to put up anything,' he said, chuckling a little at the bizarreness of the idea. 'Why, I might lose my money. But I guess you'll get your capital all right. Ask around. And now you'll have to excuse me. I promised to take Vee for a row on the lake.'
He gambolled off, the picture of youth and life and happiness. It is possible that he may have known that he was leaving aching hearts behind him, but not probable. Tipton Plimsoll was a rather self-centred young man.
VII
Gally looked at Bill. Bill looked at Gally. For a moment neither spoke, their thoughts being too deep for words. Then Gally made an observation which he had once heard from the lips of a disappointed punter at a suburban race meeting on the occasion of his finding that the bookmaker with whom he had wagered on the winner of the last race had packed up and disappeared, leaving no address. It seemed to relieve him. His manner became calmer.
'Well, that's that, Bill.'
'That's that, Gally.'
'An extraordinarily similar thing happened to an old friend of mine many years ago, when he was trying to interest a wealthy young man in a club which he was planning to open. He told me with tears in his eyes, I remember, that he could have betted his entire fortune, if he had had one, that the chap was just about to reach for his cheque book. These things do happen. One must accept them with grim fortitude. We now come back to Clarence. I'd give anything to know if Hermione has got that necklace. If she hasn't, it may be possible to achieve the happy ending by means of a little inspired bluffing. Ah, here she comes.'
Bill leaped like a hooked worm.
'Eh? What? Where?' He cast a feverish eye towards the house and saw that the bad news was only too true. Lady Hermione, accompanied by Lord Emsworth, had just come through the french windows of the drawing-room. 'Gally, I'm off'.
The Hon. Galahad nodded.
'Yes, I think perhaps it would be best if you left me to handle the negotiations. If I were you, I'd go and have a chat with Prue. I saw her just now going in the direction of the rose garden. You will find the rose garden over there,' said Gally, pointing. 'I'll join you later,' he said, and turned to meet his flesh and blood, who were now making their way towards him across the terrace. His face was hard and determined. His monocle gleamed with quiet resolution. He looked like a featherweight contender entering the ring to do battle with the champion.
It was as his sister drew near and he was able to study her face that a sudden quick hope strengthened his doughty heart. Hers, it seemed to him, was not the air of a woman who by getting her hooks on necklaces has outgeneralled the opposition. It was unmistakably one of gloom.
'Tails up!' said Gally to his heart, and his heart replied, 'You betcher.'
In supposing Lady Hermione to be gloomy, Gally had been right. It is fortunately only very rarely that in any given family in the English upper classes you will find two members of it who have drained the bitter cup in a single afternoon. The average of mental anguish is as a rule lower. But this had happened to-day. We have shown Colonel Wedge frankly confessing that he had done so, and Lady Hermione, if questioned, would have been obliged to make the same admission. As she came on to the terrace, her spirits were at a very low ebb and she was recognizing the outlook as unsettled.
To the best of her knowledge, the necklace still remained in her brother Galahad's possession, and his prediction that she would be compelled to throw in the towel still rang in her ears. The more she contemplated the position of affairs, the more sadly convinced did she become that he was right, and a proud woman dislikes having to throw in towels. But she could see no way out of it.
Freddie, delivering his ultimatum at the general meeting, had seemed to her to speak with the voice of doom. Were he to carry out his threat of telling all to Tipton Plimsoll, disaster must ensue. She had been deeply impressed by the haughty and imperious spirit which Tipton had shown when switching necklaces from spot to spot in the drawing-room. There, she had felt, stood a man who would stand no nonsense. Let him discover that he had been deceived, and he would break off the engagement. And at the thought of her child losing such a mate, she quailed.
It would be but a poor consolation to her in later years, when people were congratulating her on Veronica's marriage to the reasonably eligible husband whom the future would no doubt produce, to tell them that they ought to have seen the one that got away.
Reflections such as these had weakened her once iron will. She was beginning to think that there were more important things in life than checking the impulse of her sister Dora's daughter to m
arry into the Underworld. She had not revised her opinion that Bill was the dregs of humanity, but there had begun to steal over her the feeling that it was Dora's place, not hers, to do the worrying.
She was, in short, but a shell of her former self. She had become a defeatist.
Gally was a man who believed in brisk attack. He wasted no time in preliminaries.
'Well?' he said.
Lady Hermione quivered, but was silent.
'Made up your mind?' said Gally.
There was almost a pleading note in Lady Hermione's voice as she endeavoured to reason with him.
'But, Galahad, you can't want your niece to marry a penniless artist?'
'He isn't a penniless artist. He's the owner of what will be the finest roadhouse in England as soon as Clarence has put up the capital for modernization and improvements.'
'Eh?' said Lord Emsworth, whose thoughts had wandered.
'Listen, Clarence,' said Gally. 'Do you want to make a lot of money?'
'I've got a lot of money,' said Lord Emsworth.
'You can always do with a bit more.'
'True.'
'Picture to yourself, Clarence,' said Gally, 'a fair countryside, and in that countryside a smiling inn. Its grounds,' he hurried on, for he could see that his brother was about to ask why the inn was smiling, 'are dotted – very profusely dotted – with groups sucking down cocktails at a couple of bob a go. Its terrace is a solid mass of diners enjoying the ten-shilling dinner under a bower of roses. There are lanterns. There is a fountain, lit by coloured lights. There is a swimming pool with – mark this, Clarence – artificial waves. It is, in short, the most popular place of its kind in the country, the turnover being terrific.'
Lord Emsworth said it sounded nice, and Gally assured him that he had found the mot juste.
'A gold mine,' he said. 'And a half share in it, Clarence, is yours for five thousand pounds.'
'Five thousand pounds?'
'You can hardly believe it, can you? A mere pittance. And no need,' said Gally, seeing that the other had become meditative, 'to dig up the money on the nail. All I want from you is a letter to my godson, Bill Lister, promising to cough up in due course.'
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