“You think that’s the reason your boy’s acting up?” Demon asks.
I shrug. “I think it’s linked. Cas can’t understand how Lizard has forgotten, and why he can’t remember.”
“That why he still goes to the VA?” This from Mace.
He still goes? I nod my head. “If he’s still attending his appointments, yes. But early on, he decided he was their experiment, to see if he could remember things he’d lost from inside his head. He thought they were treating him like a guinea pig, and for all I knew, they were.”
Chapter Six
Mace
Christ. I don’t know what to think. Vanna’s finished her heart-breaking-if-true story and is now quietly sobbing but also making an effort to compose herself. I go over the way Lizard was today, giving no sign he recognised her. But if what she said is true…
“Vanna,” I address her directly. “You said you lived together. So he knows you from after the explosion that fucked with his head. Why did he blank you today?”
She shakes her head. “Who knows how the brain works? That was the short-term memory loss as I said. Each day seemed like a fresh start. Each morning, I was greeted as though I was a stranger. It’s as if he couldn’t keep a memory of me or Cas in his head. As if a tape was constantly being rewritten.”
“Just you?” I ask.
Another side-to-side movement of her head. “Memory is a strange thing. As far as Lizard knew, he was twenty-two. They got him a job as a mechanic when he recovered enough, he could do that, remember a trade, but couldn’t remember the way to work. He could drive a car, but not remember a route. Other things he never forgot, like how to draw. He was always a good artist.”
“He functions normally now. Wouldn’t have gotten past his prospect patch if he had problems with remembering shit.”
Now her head moves up and down. “He improved. I kept tabs on him via his therapist. I suggested going back and confronting him again, but I was told he was getting to a good place and perhaps I was somehow bad for him, was holding his recovery back. I always hoped he’d return, so just settled back to wait. I knew gradually, he was beginning to learn new things and remember them. But still, his doctors thought I should stay away, make a clean break. Eventually he moved and I lost track of him.”
“But you knew where to find him today?”
“He left San Diego, and I didn’t immediately know where he’d gone. Then a year later, I learned he’d come to Denver to stay with his friend, Hatch. I, er, I know it sounds stalkerish, but I moved there too.” At the mention of Hatch, my eyes meet Demon’s.
“Go on.” Demon chooses not to enlighten her.
“I hoped one day he might remember. If he saw me around, saw me with Cas… but it didn’t work. By the time I’d completed my move, he’d disappeared again. I went to Hatch’s address, found the place locked up and for sale. The realtors said they didn’t know where the previous renter had moved. I couldn’t uproot Cas again, so we stayed in Denver. A couple of years back some paperwork caught up to me, it had been chasing me halfway across the country. It had his current address on it.” She breaks off and looks at each of us in turn. “This MC in Pueblo.”
“But you didn’t come to find him then?”
“I was scared. Scared of exactly what happened today, that I’d come, and Lizard wouldn’t recognise me anyway.” Her hands gesture around. “Nine years ago, I might have tried. But it’s been ten years now. Eight before I knew where he was.” She shrugs. “I’d made sure people knew where I’d gone, so if Liz wanted to find me, he could. That he hadn’t come knocking meant one of two things. Either he’d remembered and moved on, or his memory hadn’t come back.” She pauses for breath, then carries on, “It wasn’t until I thought I had no other option if I was going to help Cas that I made the decision to come and see whether anything had changed. As you know, it’s been a wasted trip.” Her shoulders slump in defeat, and she makes a weak dismissive gesture. Then she lets out a sigh. “Look, I’ve got to get back to Cas. You know I haven’t been lying, so please, let me leave. I’ll just have to think of something else to do, some way to get my son’s life back on track.”
From the look on her face, she’s at her wits’ end. I exchange glances with Demon. We know only too well what happens when someone gets onto the wrong side of the law. Some pull themselves back up, we’ve got examples of that in the club, some continue the downward spiral, never learning from their mistakes and end up serving a long sentence or dead.
Demon picks up his phone. “Vi, can you come to my office?” Then he puts it back down. “When my wife comes in, I want you to go with her, Vanna. Give us a moment to talk about your situation.”
“I’ve got to get back to Cas,” she protests. “I’ll be late if I don’t leave now.”
“Your friend okay with him staying a bit longer?”
“She would be, yes, but it’s a school night…”
“Not going to do the kid any harm to stay up late for once. Give her a call and sort it out. We’ll be as quick as we can.”
She’s got no choice, and she seems to know it. Vi comes in, and Demon calls her over and whispers to her quietly. Vi nods her head and smiles Vanna’s way.
Vanna stands. “I’ll clear it with Lindy, but I might as well leave. Lizard’s not going to be any help, there’s nothing more you can do.” Her lips purse. “I’m sorry I laid that all on you. Please, don’t think any the worse of Lizard. He can’t help what he doesn’t know.”
Prez nods. “Vanna, I understand. But please, give us a moment to talk.” He regards the woman who looks like she’s carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders, staring her down until she nods and turns to go with his old lady.
When Vi guides her out, I plop down in her now vacated seat. “What do you reckon, Prez?”
“I was going to ask you that,” he unhelpfully replies.
I don’t try to pretend I don’t know what he’s asking. I’m longing for a smoke, but in deference to the prez and VP, refrain from lighting up in his office. Well, to be honest, I don’t want my ass kicked. But nicotine levels low or whatever, I try to think.
“Liz gets headaches, sometimes bad ones. I know he’s going to the VA, thought it was just for that. Knew he’d got a bang on the head, didn’t know it was so serious.”
“You’ve known him since he was a prospect, Mace. Her story add up? I’m wracking my brain and I can’t think of anything to either support or disprove it, but you were closer to him than I was.”
He means, until I made my promotion to officer, I was just a lowly member like Liz. I speak slowly, gathering my thoughts as I do so. “He’s spoken at length about his first tour but wouldn’t go into the others. That’s not unusual for someone who’s served, some things you don’t want to remember.”
“He was quiet at first,” Demon says, his brow creased. “He didn’t come out of his shell until he was patched in.”
“He can speak without thinking at times,” Beef contributes. “Even I’ve noticed, just thought he was being an ass, but some of the things he comes out with…” He shakes his head. A fleeting smile crosses his face but disappears quickly.
Yeah, Lizard can be quite a laugh. But what if the inappropriate things he says aren’t deliberate, but unintentional because of injuries in his head? Doesn’t affect the way I think of him but is worrying instead. Has my brother been struggling and I haven’t fucking noticed?
“If we accept her story at face value, I don’t like that she needs support, and the man who should give it can’t step up and provide it. Christ, if I wasn’t around for Theo, I know everyone here would help.”
“She’s a brother’s woman. She’s got his name on her back. That shows at one time he was fucking serious about her.”
Demon nods at me. “It would appear so. But why does he block her out now? She’s a good-looking bitch, but you say he didn’t look twice at her?”
“Maybe he doesn’t fancy her?”
I bark a sh
ort laugh at Beef’s suggestion. “She’s got tits, an ass and a pretty face. When have you seen Lizard want more? No, anyway, what I meant, there was no recognition there at all.”
“Fuck.” Demon lowers his head into his hands. “What happens when a brother cuts an old lady loose? Never experienced it, so don’t know. Do brothers step up if they just grow apart? If she’d stepped out on him, it would be different, but if we’re to believe what she says, she’s been faithful to him all these years. It isn’t her fault the man who made vows to her can’t keep them himself.”
“Are you saying, Prez,” Beef starts, “that we’ve got responsibility for her?”
“I think,” says Demon slowly, “that we need to handle this with kid gloves. If Lizard is still recovering from a serious brain injury, I think we need to step carefully. Confronting him with the truth might do more damage than good. But I don’t want her to leave thinking we’re not going to help her. This is Lizard’s kid we’re talking about. What if one day he remembers, and he discovers his boy in juvie, jail, or worse, six feet under when it could have been prevented?”
Put like that, I agree with Demon. What do we do when a brother isn’t around to do what needs doing, or, in this circumstance, can’t cope? We step up.
Demon raps the table twice. “We’ll get her to bring him here, tomorrow after school. They can stay for the weekend.”
“Er, Prez, it’s party night tomorrow and Saturday. I’m not sure that’s suitable for a kid.”
“Oh come on, Mace. You can keep it PG when he’s around. The kid will have to go to bed at a reasonable time. Vanna and Cas can have my room. Vi and I don’t use it much, it’s easier with Theo to stay at the house.”
“So he stays for the weekend, what then?” Beef sounds confused.
I, too, look at Demon, interested in where his thoughts are on this. I’m listening as he replies to the VP. “Sounds like the kid needs to learn a few home truths which his dad isn’t in a place to share. So, we take him under our collective wing.”
How the fuck do we do that? Well, hopefully Prez has got some ideas even though his lad can only just walk. I suppose we were all Cas’s age once, guess we’ll have to fall back on that.
A quick text to Vi brings Vanna back to the office. When we tell her the plan, she’s at first overwhelmed, then thankful when we give her our reasoning, then her face falls.
“Lizard might not recognise Cas, but Cas will recognise Lizard. Or will when he hears his name. Demon, this will not go well.”
We hadn’t thought of that.
“Mace.” At my name said in that tone, the words following bound to be an instruction, my eyes snap to Prez. “You go to Denver, tomorrow. Speak to Cas, explain about his father, then bring the boy and Vanna back here.”
“Me?” Christ, I’m no child whisperer. I know fuck all about talking to a kid.
“Yeah, you, Mace. You know everything. You’ve met Vanna. You know Lizard. And you because you’ll lay it on the line for him and won’t speak down to him. Kid who’s hotwiring cars and looking at juvie? He needs to hear it as it is and not with sugarcoating.”
Vanna’s face has hope written there for the first time since I met her a few hours ago. She turns to see my reaction. What can I say but raise my chin and give them a yes.
As Vanna gets up to leave, Demon asks, “You okay to drive tonight?”
A fleeting smile. “Roads will be quieter so, yes. Lindy said Cas wouldn’t mind waiting up for me, he’s playing Call of Duty right now.” Her face twists as if she’s not too happy with that. But hey, he’s a kid, and like any others ignores the eighteen-only label.
She leaves, Demon indicates I should stay. He’s quiet, thoughtful for a moment, then he says, “We can’t risk mentioning any of this to Lizard. Fuck knows I don’t know how to handle someone who’s got such a huge fuckin’ hole in his memory. I’ll get Cad digging into his medical records, see what he can find out.”
“Do you reckon his therapist would talk to us?”
“No, but he might talk to Vanna. Lizard won’t be seeing the same one as he’s not in the same area.”
“Fuckin’ therapist told her to stay away.”
“Might have been the right advice for his patient, Beef.”
“Yeah, but not for his kid. It’s all fucked up, Prez. Sounds like that kid needed his dad in his life.”
“Kid’s got us now, Beef.” Suddenly, I’m determined to help.
“Cad knows and the three of us.” Prez’s eyes rest on me, then Beef’s. “Let’s keep this to just us four for now. Liz won’t want his business spread around the club, and I don’t want people treating him differently or making allowances for him. To us, Liz is the same man he’s always been. We’ll see how this plays out, and see how we can help this Cas, whatever way the cards fall.”
My thoughts have gone from thinking Vanna was playing some game to get, I don’t know, support for her kid that maybe wasn’t even Lizard’s, to agreeing we’ll step up and do what we can to fill the void that Lizard can’t.
She seems a decent enough woman, one who’s cared for Liz from a distance all these years. Could we somehow thrust them together, even if he never remembers the past? Get this family unit mended?
Problem is, I just can’t see it. Lizard has always been adamant he doesn’t want a wife or a kid, so how can we push both onto him? A grown kid at that, who’s trouble by the sounds of it.
I walk out of Demon’s office and the first person I spy is Ink. I’m halfway over to him with the greeting of Leatherneck on my lips, which will garner the response of Ground Pounder as I was in the Army, and he in the Marines, when it hits me. Lizard was a Marine, yet I’ve never been tempted to tease him in the same way. Why not? Probably because Ink and I discuss our service and are proud of the time we served. Liz is far more reserved about his tours. Because he can’t fucking remember. With new information in my head, I realise a lot of things suddenly make sense.
The next day I take my truck which I use more often in winter and try to avoid for the rest of the year, and drive to Denver, the GPS guiding me to Vanna’s house just as she’s leaving.
“I’ll be back soon. All I’ve got to do is pick him up from school and bring him here, probably having some argument on the way. Make yourself at home, there are the makings of coffee in the kitchen—”
She’s rambling again, I cut her off. “You go get the boy. I’ll be fine, okay?”
I stare after her car as she drives away. Shows how much she’s worried about her kid; she’s just left a strange man in her home. Her reaction to the Satan’s Devils is warming, most civilians run a mile from us. I think it’s a sign of the regard in which she holds, or held, Lizard. That even changed as he is, if he’s a part of this MC, we won’t bring trouble to her.
I take the opportunity to look around. If I’m going to help the kid, learning his environment can only help. I immediately see she’s doing her best with the little she’s got. Nothing looks new, but everything’s clean and tidy. The television in the living room is old, but probably functional. The sofa is comfortable and the room has a welcoming vibe. The kitchen cabinets are stocked, but with cheap unbranded products. The boy’s fed, at least. All these years she should have been getting support, but I doubt Lizard has paid any. She could have proved their relationship like she had with me, but at first, I suspect she hoped he’d come around to accept it, without DNA tests and the like. Then, she probably just became resigned that it was her on her own. Still, it looks like she’s done the best for her kid.
The latter thought comes when I step into a different realm, Cas’s bedroom. He’s got a good monitor and a fairly new model Xbox with games galore too. Any money she has, it seems to have been spent on him. Kid probably doesn’t appreciate the half of it.
I try to remember myself at fourteen. I, too, was a little shit, I’m certain of that. Maybe Prez choosing me to come here and deal with Cas is the universe’s form of retribution.
I’m drin
king a coffee by the time I hear Vanna’s car pull up in the driveway, grimacing at the bitter taste of the cheap brand. I lean back against the counter, in line of sight of the front door.
It opens.
“I don’t understand why you took another fucking day off. It wasn’t fucking necessary.”
“Don’t swear,” Vanna says tiredly, and I suspect this conversation’s been going on since she collected him.
“You call in sick? And you tell me not to fucking lie!” Cas’s half turned to speak to his mother and hasn’t yet noticed me.
“I took leave,” she tells him. “I don’t lie.”
“Fucking hell.”
“Watch your language,” I snarl, causing Cas’s eyes to snap to me.
They widen, his eyebrows rise until they meet his hairline. I suppress a grin. He’s six foot and the image of his father, well, when he was younger that is. Any doubts I may have had over his parentage immediately disappear. His hair flops over his forehead and is redder than Lizard’s. He probably gets the colour from his mom, and, like her, his face is freckled. But it’s his features, his nose and his cheekbones that are all his dad’s.
“Who the fuck are you?”
He might be tall, but I’m taller. I’m also a heavily muscled man, from the neck down covered in tattoos. I’m probably not who he’d expect to find standing at the kitchen counter in his mom’s house.
Wisely, he takes a step backward which brings him up against his mom. I notice her hands rise and clasp his biceps as if comforting him.
“I asked who the fuck you are, and what you’re fucking doing here?”
“Watch your language,” I bark again. I may not have risen to Sergeant-Major during my time in the Army, but I’ve been at the other end of enough orders to mimic the tone. “If you ask again properly, then I’ll tell you who the fuck I am.”
Satan’s Devils MC -Colorado Box Set: Books 4-6 Page 84