by Hill, Joey W
Her aftercare would be as tender as the punishment had been ruthless. It was always a balance, one that broke down a certain type of woman’s shields, cracked open her emotions, kept her spinning and in touch with her raw feelings, no dissembling, nothing but pure, honest reaction.
Lucas shifted, drawing him out of his thoughts and irritating him further. His mind was wandering around like a damn cow grazing in a pasture. Matt cocked a brow in his direction, that gaze still way too sharp, but when he spoke, he wasn’t addressing Ben. “You okay with this, Luc?”
Lucas glanced out the window, a muscle flexing in his jaw. His index finger was tapping a slow, pensive beat on the car door. Not a great sign, but not Def Con 1 either. “We’ve been together a long time, Ben. I know things about you. I know you push hard. Your way of handling a sub…it’s what they want, you prove that over and over, and so there’s no reason I should doubt your judgment, but Marcie…hell.”
Since Ben had stepped into the car, he’d had his shields up, ready to ward off any frontal assault. Just like that, seeing Lucas’ worry, the focus changed. They’d been part of one another’s lives too long. Beyond that, when Lucas had claimed Cass as his own, she and all her siblings had come under their protection and care. He wouldn’t deflect, not when it came to that side of things.
“You feel responsible for her.” Ben inclined his head. “And you’re the best at reading people of all of us. But you’re not objective about this one. I can be, to a certain extent.”
“He shouldn’t be,” Matt said quietly. “Neither should you. We all know how important family is, particularly the ones we create for ourselves.”
Matt had tapped on that door of his psyche on purpose he was sure, a reminder of the darkness behind it. “What I’m saying,” Ben responded evenly, with effort, “is she’s at the beginning of it, but that doesn’t mean the signs aren’t there. She’s a 24/7, Luc. Rachel’s got a gentle form of that, the way she defers to Jon even in front of others, but Marcie craves the hardcore brand of it.”
He knew what that would look like. When she came home from work, she’d follow a Master’s protocol from the time she walked through the door. He’d have the heat programmed to bump up a couple notches a half hour before she arrived home. Once there, she would shed her clothes, all of them, hang them up. She’d slide on a thong fitted with a small clit stimulator. It would be set on a low vibration to keep her distracted as she moved to do the things she was required to do for her Master. Set the table, light the candles. Put out his dinner.
Well, the dinner he’d have her heat up, because he preferred to do the cooking. Marcie appreciated good food, but she could burn break-apart Nestle Tollhouse cookies.
Right before dinner, she’d remove the thong, lie down on the table. At his Garden District townhome, he had a dining room table of glossy cherry wood, with carved legs that looked like a griffin’s feathered and taloned feet, a heavy antique piece that had been created during the Baroque period. She’d brace her feet on the arms of his chair, her spread thighs framing his plate. When he sat down to eat, he’d have the pleasure of seeing that pussy wet and glistening, needy. The candlelight would glint on the clit piercing, and her arousal would give her that sexy little quiver, her nipples high and tight…
He’d place one candle in either hand, making her hold them stretched out to either side of her body as he lit them. He’d get the tallow kind with wax drippings, so she’d feel the tiny burn as each drop hit her wrists, her knuckles. When he finished his dinner, he’d eat her pussy until she came. Then turn her over, give her a good paddling that would have her squealing and begging before he slid into that tight little puckered hole, feeling her submission to him, to anything he wanted to do to her. Utter, total surrender of self, belonging to him forever.
After that, they’d watch TV. She’d curl up next to him naked, tolerate the business reports and his acerbic comments about the idiots in Washington. But then she’d steal the remote and put it on some romantic chick flick she wanted to watch. Maybe she’d be wearing one of his shirts, left open to give her Master access, but allowed because it kept her warm and drowsy. They’d share popcorn and he’d watch her fall asleep against him, her head against his heart. He’d carry her to his bed, and when he was restless in the middle of the night, he’d find her curled around him, arm across his chest, body snugged up so close…
He was the night owl; she was the morning person. So he’d wake to find her perched like an adorable sex kitten near him, holding his coffee out of reach, teasing him with the aroma. He’d wrestle her for it, carefully, so she didn’t get burned, then when he got it away from her, putting it on the side table, he’d snatch her to him by the waist. She’d straddle him, run her fingers through his hair, smiling, then her mouth would soften and he’d turn her beneath him…
Someone to wake up with, someone he wanted to see next to him in the morning.
“Ben?”
He snapped out of it to find Lucas and Matt looking at him like he’d just sprouted a second nose. Thank God he had the briefcase on his lap. As it was, the weight of the damn thing was making his cock hurt like a son of a bitch. He was lucky it wasn’t knocking against it like a door. But that wasn’t what freaking rocked his foundation. He was fantasizing about…nesting with a woman. Holy Christ.
“Yeah.” He cleared his throat. “Sorry. Thinking about the meeting.”
Lucas raised a brow. “Yeah right. Subs don’t usually get under your skin. She messing you up?”
“Well, the whole family relationship thing threw me for a loop.” Ben forced a casual shrug. Jesus, let me out of this car. I can’t breathe. “I’ve got my feet under me. But it would have helped if you’d let us know you suspected this about her way the hell earlier.”
“I expect I didn’t for the same reason you didn’t tell me where you were on it. It wasn’t something I felt comfortable tossing out there. I assumed when she started to actively pursue it, it would be with someone her own age, her own group.”
Ouch. That hurt more than expected, but it was nothing more than what he’d told her himself. He kept his expression blank.
Lucas rubbed a hand over his face, shook his head. “There were always clues to it, even before we realized it straight out, but of course talking about it when she was underage was a quagmire I wasn’t about to touch. She was sixteen when I came into her life, so she never saw me as a father figure, more as a friend, her sister’s husband. Cass was in charge of keeping an eye on it, helping to direct and manage it in subtle ways. But I figured it out from the way she watched me and Cassandra. Sometimes the way she acted toward me.”
Ben lasered in on those words. “What do you mean?”
He sensed Matt’s interested shift, decided he wouldn’t look toward him to see if his curiosity was about what Lucas was saying, or that Ben had just tried to cover a surge of annoyingly possessive heat.
“Not like she was looking for me to be her Master, but acknowledging me as one, respecting what it means.” Lucas tossed his leather portfolio onto the seat, stretched his arm out on the back of it. “One night I came out of our bedroom, after I’d worked Cass over pretty good. We’d done laundry earlier and all the washcloths were in the laundry room. I needed one to soak with warm water and put on some of the more tender parts.”
His lips curved, a Master’s absorption the other two men well recognized. “Marcie was home from college, up late studying in the kitchen. She asked what I needed. When I told her, though of course I didn’t tell her why I needed it, she immediately got up, found a cloth. Soaked it, heated it in the microwave, placed it in a basin then handed it to me with this little nod of her head. She knew exactly why I needed it, and she’d provided it exactly like I’d get a staff slave assist at the club.”
Fuck. Ben could see her doing it.
“That’s just one example. When Marcie was in New York, Cass suggested I let Marcus Stanton and Thomas take her to a few clubs, just to observe. Marcie didn’
t tell us about her experiences, but I know she took advantage of the contact. Damn, Ben, you can’t tell me you never noticed. All of us pick up on this shit, and you spent more time with her than anyone.”
“My focus was elsewhere. I was busy managing the teenage crush thing.” But Lucas was right; the clues had been there when she was in her teens. It had probably crossed Ben’s mind once or twice, given the fact he was a Dom, but it would have been an interesting factoid only: “hey, this girl has the tendencies of a natural submissive”. It hadn’t involved him or his role in her life. Until now. He sure as hell hadn’t been prepared to be part of her journey of sexual discovery. Like Lucas, his job had been to prove a male’s presence in her life could be a positive thing.
“How deep does it go?” Surprisingly, Matt directed that question not to Lucas, but to Ben. When Ben raised a questioning brow, Matt gave him his no-bullshit look. “That call-down upstairs says you’re in a better position than either of us to make the assessment.”
No way was he looking toward Lucas when he answered that one. He also hoped Matt wasn’t going to pry any deeper than that in front of him. But he wouldn’t lie. “She’s a full-blown masochist. Craves the pain. The right Master could go after her with a fucking baseball bat and she’d still come at his command. She needs strong guidance, training to help her protect herself from that extreme. She’s a lethal combination—as headstrong and adventurous as Dana, but deeper in the psychology of it than even Rachel.”
When Lucas swore softly, Ben tightened his fingers on the briefcase, even though he tried not to show his tension. Matt shifted his attention to his CFO. “Lucas?”
The man shook his head. “I’d like to say it surprises me, but it doesn’t. It fits what I know of her personality. The submission is natural, but the degree of it has been affected by her experiences. Her father’s love was unpredictable, weak. She latched onto her older brother, and then he betrayed her as well. It makes sense that she’d need that strong hand, something rock-solid, to open herself up fully.”
Matt gestured at Lucas. “Don’t sell short the experiences you and Cass have provided her. For at least two years she lived in a household where a healthy Dom/sub dynamic was operating. Your stability, your influence on Cassandra’s sense of self-worth, her confidence as a woman, have been obvious. Those things would have also encouraged Marcie, given her confidence to pursue her own submissive inclinations to a deeper level.”
“Cass already accomplished a whole hell of a lot without me.”
“No argument there.” Matt waved a hand. “My point is, I am a better man, more assured of my direction, knowing Savannah is at my side. If I’m the husband and Master I should be, I serve the same purpose for her. I’ve no doubt you do that for Cassandra, because she is a much more relaxed and happy person than she was when we met her.”
Yeah, this was making him feel heaps better. Ben could be a rock-solid Master, but in the stability and happiness department? Jesus. He cleared his throat, considering a different direction. “Have you picked up on her desire to be…part of the group?”
While hearing that Marcie was a hardcore sub hadn’t surprised him, Lucas now turned a startled gaze to him. “We only share a woman, all of us, if—”
“Not going that way,” Ben said quickly, dispelling that issue before Lucas could react in horror to it, as he was sure he would. “But we have a different situation here. She may not belong to one of us, but she already has a foot inside the circle, because of the family relationship. She’s been fantasizing about it. If you’re cool with the mentoring, I can keep tabs on it, redirect it if you want. Make sure it doesn’t become a bigger issue. But I wanted to warn you it’s there.”
They rode in unresolved silence for several blocks. True to form, it was Matt who broke it.
“The key to this is you, Ben. You have the lead. You’ll be able to tell us where it needs to go, what needs to happen. We can talk it out once you have a better feel for the situation. Remember, we’re here if you get in over your head.” His dark eyes met Ben’s, again stirring that past shit that Ben really didn’t want dredged up, but of course Matt didn’t let anyone get away with much.
God, he needed air.
* * * * *
When they pulled up to their destination, Ben was the first out of the car. He muttered something about needing to see someone in Legal first and that he’d meet them upstairs, then disappeared through the front doors.
Lucas looked toward Matt. “He has the lead on this?”
“Because he’s right. You’re too close, and in the wrong position to help her embrace her submissive nature. You have to trust him.”
“I do. With my life. Not so much with Marcie’s.” Lucas sighed. “You know his M.O.”
Matt straightened his cuffs. “Ben is one of the most disciplined Masters I’ve ever seen. He never loses control, because he puts all his energy and focus into holding the reins, into getting the sub to give him everything. He’s brutal, going to the edge of edge play. But he always gives a woman the experience of her life.”
“And in return, he takes nothing but the challenge of having broken her down. He doesn’t let her in. Doesn’t let any of them in.” Lucas grimaced. “The problem is, she’s already inside him, because she’s family. I know what he carries around, and so do you. I’m not sure that’s a place I want her to be.”
“Marcie has been starry-eyed in love with Ben since she first laid eyes on him,” Matt pointed out. “We all saw it. As improbable as it is that it might have survived the transition from childhood to adulthood, from what I saw this morning, that girlhood crush has become a woman’s passion. It’s possible we’re witnessing the very rare instance when a teenage crush was never a crush at all.”
Matt’s handheld buzzed with an incoming message. When Matt glanced at it, his lips quirked. Leaning forward, Lucas saw the screen. Not texting you. Bully. He raised a brow, his lips curving.
“Savannah?”
“Yes. I told her to text me every so often while she was awake. The last one was ‘Bite Me’. She’s getting more conciliatory. The first one was ‘Fascist Asshole’.” Matt shook his head. “I have the housekeeper texting Janet as well, to let me know if she does too much.”
“She’s going to stab you in your sleep.”
“If Savannah ever decides to take me out, she’ll do it toe-to-toe while I’m fully conscious.” Matt gazed at the handheld screen fondly, thumb passing over it as if he was caressing the woman sending the barbed missives. “She’s a mountain lion.”
“Like Cass. And like Marcie, truth be known.”
“I know. I also know this is hard, Luc.” Matt met his gaze anew. “She wants in, and she’s determined to get there. It makes sense she chose the man she’s always trusted the most. But yes, Ben has some very dark places in him. For most of his life, he’s kept them buried, but the events of the past few years are opening them up. We’ve all tried various ways of offering our help, but he’s not there yet. I’m not sure what will be the trigger, but if she forces her way into those rooms, eventually he’s going to lose a grip on the reins. It’s possible she’ll get hurt.”
Lucas’ hand tightened on the console between them. “If Marcie went to him for mentoring, that’s a front. She wants more than that. The mentoring is just all she’s been able to get him to agree to do…so far.”
Matt nodded. “Ben’s loyalty to you, to us, is unquestioned. If you want to put an end to it right here, right now, you need only tell him. He’d do it, in a heartbeat. But if you’re not going to make that call, you need to let it play out. Sometimes you have to step out of the way and see what Fate decides.”
“Jesus. You’ve been talking to Jon.”
Matt’s lips curved. “No, but he’s rubbed off on me, as we’ve all rubbed off on each other over the years. It’s time for a change in Ben’s life. He feels it, as do we all. Unfortunately, what we’re suggesting makes Marcie a guinea pig. Normally, I’d trust my gut, take the ri
sk, but this part is your call, Lucas. Yours and Cassandra’s.”
“Cass will get worked up about it, initially, but in the end she’ll say Marcie’s of legal age. That if what she wants is Ben, she has a right to take her shot. To get hurt like any other adult. But she’ll worry, same as I will. Marcie is so fucking young.” He sighed. “I don’t know how I’ll react if he breaks her heart, even if he’s dealing with his own knee-jerk fight-or-flight instinct. Fair warning.”
“We’ll protect her if she needs protecting. We’ve always put the well-being of our women first. It’s in Ben as strong as any of us, for all that he hasn’t found a singular focus for it. Maybe he has now.”
“Whoa, wait a minute.” Lucas caught Matt’s arm. “Did you just suggest what I think you suggested?”
Matt gave him his trademark piercing expression. “Have you ever known him to act this unsettled about any woman? Or ask the question he asked about her being part of the group?”
“He said it was just a heads-up, because of her fantasies. Not his.”
“Maybe not consciously.”
“Fuck.” Lucas sat back. “Seriously? You think this could be going in that direction? I just wrapped my mind around him mentoring her.”
“I wouldn’t swear to it, but I do know when it comes to women, Ben isn’t easily rattled.”
“Damn it, Matt.” Lucas sighed, ran his hand over his face. “If it’s true, she will stumble on those dark places. And you know the problem isn’t her inability to handle that.”
“Correct. The problem is how Ben will handle it. If it’s any comfort, I suspect Marcie already knows a great deal about Ben. She may not be able to withstand the storm, but she knows it’s coming. She’s inviting it, because she trusts somewhere in that maelstrom, she’ll find Ben, and Ben will find himself.”
“Okay, you have been talking to Jon too much.”