by Barbara Bard
She was not sure what she expected Lord Flynn to be like, but there was something about him that made the hair on her skin stand on end. He had all the making of an English man and carried himself with dignity and pride, just as an English man should.
However, there was something missing. He lacked the wholesome goodness she had hoped to find. His eyes were cruel and his gaze felt as though he was peering into her soul.
Damn George, and damn this whole mess!
For the time being, she could pretend to be Rosemary, but the truth would soon come out. Rosemary's father, Charles Brambly, would quickly tell Lord Flynn that Sarah was an impostor. Unless Sarah could explain to him her situation.
She would have to send him a letter to prepare him, for if he saw her, his reaction would surely leave the truth with nowhere to hide. But what then? Was she supposed to live her life as a lady, keeping this truth from Lord Flynn?
A light knock at the door jolted her from her thought. She dried her eyes with a handkerchief and started to move towards the door to find out who it might be.
However she might feel, the show should continue. She had come too far to give her true identity away. Whoever it was, she could not let them discover the truth about herself. But what if it was Lord Flynn?
Her heart began to thump inside her chest as she curled her hand around the golden doorknob and twisted it, opening the door to reveal a shy-looking woman.
She had delicate features, a slim build, and long curly brown hair. Her skin was clear as spring water. Her eyes were wide, and Sarah was envious of her beauty.
Then again, she was envious of most other women's beauty as they were true ladies and she was just an impostor. Never could she compare with their soft skin, their lustrous hair, or the aura of self-confidence they possessed.
“Rosemary, I'm so pleased to finally meet you! I'm Catherine, Harold's sister. I thought it only right that I introduce myself as I hope we can become good friends,” Catherine said with apparent excitement.
“I must admit, at first I was a little jealous when Harold told me he was getting married and another lady would be coming to stay here.
“I am used to being the only woman here, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized that it is a good thing!
“Finally, I would have a friend, someone who I can talk to about all the nice and girly things in life without them turning their noses up at me.
“All Harold wants to talk about is war and horses and all those nasty things men take pleasure in,” she added with one breath.
Catherine breezed past Sarah, moving about the room like a swan settling on a warm lake. She took a seat on one of the velvet-lined chairs and placed her hands in her lap.
Sarah closed the door slowly, inhaling deeply as she composed herself. Picturing Rosemary in her mind, Sarah tried to become the picture of an English lady, rather than a common handmaid.
“It's so lovely of you to come and welcome me. I am glad that you are here. To find another like me was more than I could ask,” Sarah said, returning to the bed.
“Have you been crying, my dear?” Catherine asked, leaning forward a little, concern etched upon her face.
Sarah turned her face away. Her hands darted to her eyes, trying to cover the reddened lids.
“I... yes, I have. You must think it so silly of me,” Sarah said, seeing no use in denying it.
“Not at all. On the contrary, it is quite understandable. I imagine that if I were in your position I would be much the same. I suppose it is strange since you have not come too far from home, but it is still a new environment, and you are away from everything you have known. Then there was all that commotion with those terrible bandits as well,” Catherine said, shaking her head in disbelief.
“It has been a trying time. Thank you for understanding. I am excited to be here, of course, but as you say it is quite different from what I have known. I had to leave my home and father, of course.”
“That must have been very difficult for you. I did ask Harold about you and he said that it was just you and your father? I am so sorry to hear about your mother.”
“Thank you, although it was years ago now.”
“And do not be too fretful. It will not be too long until the wedding, and then you will be able to see your father again. I imagine that the two of you became quite close after your mother died?”
“We did indeed. There was just the two of us, we cried and consoled ourselves. We only had each other. He tried to do everything to lift the cloak of sadness from our house. We tried to celebrate her memory, instead of losing ourselves in a gloomy mood but things will never be the same again.”
“I suppose that is all one can do. I am sorry to say that I cannot offer much in the way of understanding this conversation as I have neither lost a parent or enjoyed a close relationship with either of them.”
“You haven't?”
Catherine shook her head and sighed. “Father is always off on one escapade or the other, looking to raise the prestige of the family. Mother was more concerned with her tea parties than anything else. Harold and I were mostly left to our own devices when we were younger, and now that Harold is getting married he will have his own family. I am not sure where that leaves me.”
“You shall always have a place here, of that I am sure,” Sarah said quickly.
“Thank you so much. That does mean a lot to me,” Catherine said, her face brightening. “Although I am quite sure that in time I will be promised to a duke in London. Father has always told me I shall not marry below my station, and that he will work on finding the best match for me.”
“That sounds rather exciting.”
“Hardly,” Catherine said, a sly look in her eyes, “Father simply wants the best marriage for the family. Knowing him I shall be passed off to some feeble duke who probably drools and cannot even walk without aid. At least you have been given to a man in his prime.”
“Lord Flynn is an impressive specimen. I do consider myself fortunate to be getting married to him. Perhaps you could tell me more about him? My father was often quick to tell me about Lord Flynn's virtues. There were times when I think he viewed Lord Flynn as a younger version of himself. You are in a much better position to tell me about him, I would be pleased if you could give me a more personal view.”
“Ah, where to start with my brother,” Catherine said, tilting her head back. She took a few moments to look around the room, pressing her lips together as she contemplated the question. “Well, if you want complete honesty he was a terror growing up. He would chase and pester me all day long. I think he wanted a brother and tried to turn me into one,” Catherine tittered with laughter.
Sarah gasped. “Was it really that bad?”
“Oh I am just playing; it was just the typical thing that siblings go through.”
“I do not know about that. I was an only child. I suppose that is why I had such a close relationship with my parents. We did not have anyone else growing up. The only friend I had was my handmaid.”
“Oh, how awful for you! It must have been challenging to be friends with someone below your station. I am sure they wouldn't have been able to understand the nuances of our lives. Well, you have me now, and the handmaidens can be left to do their job.”
“Yes, indeed,” Sarah said, holding her tongue. She had always been a good friend to Rosemary, and the two of them had had lots of things in common.
“Anyway, to continue with the evaluation of my brother, he is charming as I'm sure you've been able to tell by now. He's good at hunting, at cards, at riding. Sometimes I think he would be better suited to living in the wild rather than in a house such as this. He is a passionate man, and sometimes this can lead to rather intense moods, but one just has to learn how to handle him.”
“And how would I go about doing something like that?”
“I will tell you when I learn,” Catherine laughed again. “The only person who has been able to control him completely is father.
All Harold really wants to do is make him proud.”
“I hope I learn how to please him; I want to be a good wife to your brother.”
“Don’t worry, I am sure you will make a good wife and a very beautiful bride. Harold wants to make it a wedding nobody will ever forget. You are going to be center for attention, nobody would be able to take their eyes off you.”
“That sounds rather daunting. I am used to a quiet life. I attended a few balls with Father, but we mostly kept to ourselves. We enjoyed a peaceful life. I often enjoyed sitting at my window, looking at the wide green hills, wondering about the world outside.”
“You may not find the time to do that here. Harold does enjoy his parties, and as his wife you will be expected to be at his side at all times. Harold inherited my father's ambition. The two of them want to become powerful men in the realm. All his life Father has worked to rise closer to the king, hoping one day that a member of our dynasty shall take their place in the royal family, and perhaps even sit on the throne themselves.”
“A lofty ambition. I cannot say I ever thought of anything like that. I fear my world has been so small.”
“It has gotten bigger now, and it will be wonderful! The times ahead are going to be glorious, and I am so glad that we will be sisters-in-law. We shall have so much fun until the wedding.”
“We shall,” Sarah said.
Talking with Catherine made her feel quite at ease, even though it was painful to lie to her the entire time. Sarah had wanted to close herself off from most of the people in the palace just so she would have to lie to as few people as possible. It was going to be difficult enough to bear the shame of having deceived Lord Flynn, but now she would have to betray Catherine's confidence as well.
“I wonder if it would be possible for me to write a letter to my father, just to let him know that I arrived safely. He does fret so, and I would like to put his mind at ease.”
“Of course! I shall have some writing materials sent up to your chambers. Later on, we should take a walk around the gardens. I will have to show you all around the palace and have lunch later.”
“But I should let you rest for now. It has been a long day, and you must be tired. I am glad we had this conversation though, and I look forward to spending much more time with you,” Catherine said as she rose from her chair and approached Sarah.
Sarah rose too and found herself being embraced tightly. Catherine kissed her on the cheek and clasped her hands together, smiling warmly. Then, she looked down, a little taken aback by the rough skin on Sarah's hands.
“I say, I have only ever seen hands like these on handmaidens and servants,” Catherine exclaimed. Sarah's heart lurched in her chest, fearing she had been found out. Sarah pulled her hands away quickly, hiding them behind her back.
“It is nothing to be ashamed of,” Catherine said, a look of horror on her face, “and I did not mean to offend.”
“It was a difficult life without Mother. We had some servants, but many of them left after Mother died and Father simply did not have the will to replace them. I ended up doing some of the work, trying to keep the house in good condition.”
“How awful. At least you do not have to worry about that any longer. While living here you do not have to worry about a thing, I promise you that. Your life will be relaxing and your troubles are over.”
With that, Catherine exited the room. When the door closed behind her, Sarah breathed a sigh of relief and sank to the floor. Lying so much was draining, and she did not know how she was going to keep up with this.
She almost had to laugh at the irony of Catherine's statement. Her troubles were only just beginning. Once Lord Flynn found out that she was not who she said she was, Sarah would be in so much trouble.
Somewhere out there Rosemary was alive, perhaps she had found freedom and happiness. Before she left, Rosemary had expressed doubts about marrying a man she had never met. Sarah had thought her foolish for thinking such a thing, but although Sarah dreamed of marrying a noble she did not want it to happen like this.
Not when she had to take on the guise of another person.
She was about drifting away again when she heard another knock on the door. Catharine had sent a handmaiden with a pot of ink, a pen, and some papers.
Sarah took them from the handmaiden and thanked her. The handmaiden was taken aback by this gesture and showed her surprise. Sarah immediately realized that she is a lady now or at least she was pretending to be one, and it was not in her place to thank handmaidens and servants.
She immediately composed herself and dismissed the servant. She needed to be more careful if she didn’t want to be caught by Lord Flynn.
She placed the writing materials on the table, pulled out the chair to sit on and proceeded to write the letter to Lord Brambly - Rosemary’s father.
“Dearest Lord Brambly,
It is with great regret that I write to you. You may be told that this letter is from your loving daughter, but actually, it is Sarah who is writing this.
There has been a terrible misunderstanding. While we were traveling through the forest we encountered a wagon filled with prisoners.
Rosemary wanted to investigate, fearing that something strange was occurring. I tried to dissuade her, but she was set on her course of action and she disappeared into the night.
I do not know what happened to her. I have only heard a rumor that she was seen with a Highlander, being carried away to the north, and I fear for her safety.
But to protect us from the soldiers who were guarding the prisoners George told them that I was Rosemary. We were escorted here and since then I have had to remain true to the lie.
I wish that I could speak the truth to Lord Flynn, but I am afraid that he will not take too kindly to this subterfuge, even though it was not a conscious decision on my part.
I feel ashamed, guilty, and scared. I do not think there is anyone to whom I can turn aside from you.
Please help me, Lord Brambly, you are my only hope.
Yours faithfully,
Sarah”
Reading the letter over and over again, Sarah wondered if she should write more, but what more could she say in a letter?
Before anyone came in she blew on the ink to help it dry more quickly, then folded it up and sealed it in an envelope. As she carried it downstairs her heart trembled. If anyone should read this letter it would be the end for her and her lies.
She walked so quickly that she stumbled. The letter slipped from her hand and slid out of her reach. Her hands slammed against the carpeted floor, as did her knees.
She gasped and reached out for the letter immediately. As she tilted her head up, she found out that she had been beaten to it by Lord Flynn. He was holding the letter in between his fingers and looking down at her.
“Ah, a letter, how intriguing,” he said, turning it over in his hands. Sarah's breath caught in her throat. “What secrets does it hold; I wonder? Did I get a mention? I hope you are not writing to your father in hopes of calling off the wedding,” he said.
Sarah couldn't decide if he was joking or not.
“I would never do that. I am so excited for our impending wedding,” she replied.
Lord Flynn looked down at her as he ran his fingertip along the edge of the envelope. He tapped it, and for a moment Sarah was sure that he was going to tear open the paper and find out all she has been hiding.
Surely a man as intelligent and wise as Lord Flynn had seen through her lie. It wasn't as though she was a mastermind. Before this, she had never told a lie before in her life!
To her relief Lord Flynn leaned down and offered her a hand, helping her back to her feet. He handed the letter to her and caressed her cheek gently.
“As you should be,” he said. “Are you sure you are not injured, my Lady?” he asked, looking her up and down.
“I believe so. I merely lost track of my thoughts,” she said, offering him an apologetic smile.
“You are just like my sister
, always rushing around as though you are running out of time.”
“We are quite a pair,” Sarah agreed.
“Just be careful. I would not want to see anything harm your appearance. I want everyone that comes to our wedding to see how beautiful you are.”
Sarah bowed her head.
“Now, are you not going to ask me about my hunt?”
“Of course, I apologize. The fall shook my wits from me. How was your hunt, My Lord?”
“It was successful, thank you for asking. At this instance, I am going to freshen up. I am looking forward to dinner tonight. I shall regale you with the tale of the great hunt.”