by Ouida
‘I am come to apologise to you for my involuntary rudeness,’ said her visitant in her sweetest manner. ‘Your rebuke was apt and very deserved, but you may be sure that, had I really seen you I should not have incurred it.’
‘It was I who was rude,’ said Damaris, with her cheeks scarlet.
Loswa had been unable to embarrass her, but a cruel confusion possessed her before this woman, who was so unlike herself, who was so languid, so delicate, so marvellous.
‘Not that she is so very beautiful either,’ thought the child even in her bewilderment. ‘But she is — she is — wonderful! She is like those gauze-winged dragon-flies, all silver and gossamer; she is like the delicate white lilies of the tree datura; she is like, like —— I did not think a woman could be like that!’
‘Do you forgive me?’ said her visitor with her sweetest smile. ‘I did not really see you, or I should not have made such a blunder — I who detest such mistakes.’
‘I was rude,’ stammered the girl again, with difficulty finding her tongue, whilst her colour came and went with violence.
‘Oh no, you were justly on the defensive. You were offended, and took a just reprisal; the only one in your power. My dear child, M. Loswa has shown me the sketch he made of you, and told me of your hospitality to him. Will you not be as hospitable to me? I want much to make friends with you.’ The words were spoken with all the exquisite charm and graciousness in which she could put such magic, when she chose, that no one living would have resisted them, and all such little courage or such vague prejudice as might have moved Damaris against her melted before them like little snowflakes in spring before the sun amidst the lilac-buds.
‘If Madame will honour me,’ she stammered, not even seeing the men who were present, only thinking of her own rough gown, of her tumbled hair, of the state of the house filled with wood smoke, as the oven was getting ready for the baking; of the lines of washed linen that were stretching from one wall to another.
‘How did Clovis let you pass?’ she said, struck with a sudden thought.
‘Clovis knew me again,’ said Loswa. ‘Besides, a man was at the foot of the passerelle, and brought us up to you.’
‘He did not do his duty,’ said the girl with a little frown, which drew together her pencilled eyebrows.
‘The man or the dog?’ asked Nadine, amused.
‘Neither,’ said Damaris. She was angered, though she did not divine how many napoleons had passed into Raphael’s hand, who had been pruning olives, and had had much trouble to hold back the faithful Clovis, for whom gold had no charm.
‘If Brunehildt had not been shut up with her puppies,’ she added regretfully; ‘she is much more savage than Clovis.’
‘You seem very sorrowful that we did not all have the fate of Penelope’s suitors,’ said Nadine, much amused. ‘We are the friends of Monsignor Melville; may not that fact protect us? Is your grandfather at home?’
No; he was away in the sloop; gone to St. Jean with a cargo. Damaris did not add that he would have been much worse to pass than even Brunehildt.
‘But I pray you come into the house, Madame,’ she added, her natural courtesy gaining the ascendancy over her embarrassment. ‘It is a poor place, but there is a fine view, and if I had only known — —’
‘You would have been endimanchée and hideous,’ thought Nadine, as she answered with her sweetest grace that she would go willingly to that balcony of the beauties of which she had heard so much from Loswa.
‘All her eyes are for me,’ she whispered to Béthune. ‘She does not see that any of you exist.’
‘I suppose,’ rejoined Béthune, ‘that we, after all, do not differ so very much from Raphael and Gros Louis; but between a woman and a woman of the world there is as much difference as between a raw egg and a soufflé, between a hen and a peahen.’
‘You might find a more poetic comparison; say a poppy and a gardenia,’ said Nadine smiling. ‘She is not at the age to think of you. Have patience; ça viendra. She is really very handsome, lovelier than Loswa’s sketch.’
Damaris, meanwhile, was thinking with agony that there were ready no cakes, no cream, no white bread, nothing which this delicate and ethereal visitant would be able to touch — thinking of the linen swinging in the wind, and of the bacon grey with smoke, and of Catherine, who, on washing-days, was in her crossest mood!
Nadine, with that swift intuition into, the thoughts of others which made her the most sympathetic of companions where she deigned to be sympathetic at all, guessed what was passing through the girl’s mind, and hastened to relieve her embarrassment by asking to be permitted to remain out of doors, alleging that the air was so soft and the scent of the orange-blossoms so sweet, that she was reluctant to leave either.
‘Will Madame really prefer it?’ said Damaris, unable to conceal her relief.
‘There is the same view to be seen from here,’ she added as she opened a door in the wall and showed them the southern sea stretching far away, shining blue and violet through arches of olive-boughs lying all hushed and bright and warm in the glow of the afternoon sun.
Then she caught a little boy by the shoulder, the son of Raphael, who was looking on stupidly.
‘Run and bring some wine and some fruit,’ she whispered to him, ‘and ask Catherine to send the old silver.’
Her sense of the obligations of hospitality was stronger than the dread of her great lady.
‘It is not because she is great,’ she told herself, angry with her own timidity. ‘But she is so wonderful, so wonderful!’
That supreme distinction in the wife of Othmar, which, when she walked down a throne-room, made half the other women there look vulgar, had its charm even for this child, who could not have given a name to the superiority which awed and fascinated her, even whilst it made her ready to hide her head beneath the stones like the lizards.
Nadine, pleased with everything, or so professing herself, sat on a stone bench within sight of the sea and quartered a mandarin orange with her white fingers, whilst the sun played on the jewels of her great rings.
‘Of all your many conquests, perhaps you have had none more flattering than the adoration and amazement of this child,’ whispered Béthune to her.
She smiled.
‘And I should not think,’ she answered, ‘that she was by nature easily daunted or easily impressed. She has reigned here, the innocent Alcina of a bucolic paradise. She has character, whether she have genius or no. Look how coolly she puts poor Loswa aside! As he discovered Alcina, it will be hard on him if he be not her Rinaldo!’
‘You are kinder to him than to her,’ said Béthune.
‘You always think ill of him.’
‘I think of his character much as I do of his art.’
‘Surely his art is admirable?’
‘It is clever; it is not sincere.’
‘My dear Duke, is not that a little hypercritical? You mean that it is a mannerism.’
‘And what is a mannerism but an affectation? And what is an affectation but a want of truth?’
‘That is a wide subject. I cannot discuss it with you just now, because I want to speak to this child. — My dear, I am a neighbour of yours; I live on the coast which you see every day; will you come and stay a few hours with me? We would show you things which would amuse you.’
‘Stay with you?’
The eyes of Damaris opened to their fullest, her face flushed scarlet; she was so amazed that she forgot her awe of the speaker.
‘Why should you want me?’ she said bluntly.
‘When you are older you will know that people want many things without knowing why they want them. But I can give you very good reasons: Monsignor Melville has interested me in you, and I think it a pity anyone so gifted as you are by nature should never see anything better than your yard-dogs and — what is your fiancé’s name? — Gros Louis? My poor child, how can you know what it is you do with yourself? You cannot tell what the world is like.’
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��I am very happy,’ said Damaris.
The world was a name of magic to her. How often had she not looked over the strip of sea which severed her from that dazzling shore where amethystine hills and ivory snows and silvery olive woods spoke of a world from which she was forever severed!
‘I would come to you if I were ever alone,’ she said after a pause.
‘Well, come with us,’ said her temptress smiling. ‘It is three o’clock only now. We will take you with us for a while and send you back by twilight. Loris has told you who I am.’
The name of Othmar was, even to the ears of Damaris, a spell of might upon those shores. She was flattered, amazed, touched to intense emotion, but she stammered out that, although she was most grateful, yet she dared not; her grandfather would kill her if she left the island; he was most severe; he never forgave.
‘I promise to disarm your grandfather if that is all your fear,’ said Nadine, as she thought to herself, ‘These good Communists, je les connais! They would string us all up to the lamp-posts, if they could, and yet, when we speak to them, they are in heaven!’
The more terrified and resolute in resistance Damaris grew, the more decided was her visitant to carry her point and succeed in her caprice.
‘It is really cruel,’ murmured Béthune. ‘The child is happy: oh Madame! why pluck this wild rose only to droop in your glass-house, and be good for nothing ever afterwards? You cannot put it back upon its stem if once you break it off — —’
‘Do you think to flower for Gros Louis’s buttonhole is a better fate?’ said Nadine with amusement. ‘I think you all are very hard to please. Usually I never notice anybody, and you say I am cruel; when I do notice anybody you say that is cruel also! I am just in the mood to play at being a benefactress, and you all oppose my charitable inclinations. To-morrow I may not be in the humour.’
‘Precisely,’ said Béthune. ‘To-morrow you will wonder what you ever saw in a hedge rose, but that will not put the rose back in bloom on the hedge again.’
‘The rose will cease to bloom certainly anywhere, and that is nature’s fault, and not mine.’
‘I hear you love the old poets,’ she said, turning to Damaris. ‘Will you recite something to me? I love them too.’
‘And you yawn before every stage in Paris!’ murmured Béthune. But Damaris did not hear him.
‘I shall say it very ill, Madame,’ she murmured. She was diffident, terrified indeed; yet her vague consciousness that she had some sort of power in her, as the lark had, as the nightingale had, made the old remembered poetry come thronging in her brain and trembling on her lips as she spoke of it.
‘If, after all, I have talent?’ she thought, her heart seeming to beat up to her throat.
‘Give us something from Esther,’ said her visitor; ‘that is the one play permissible to young girls.’
Damaris smiled, as if at the name of a dear friend. Those verses, which generation after generation of children have spoken since the young disciples of the early years of St. Cyr first wept over the perils of the Jewish heroine, were amongst those which most touched her heart and pleased her imagination. Unknown to herself, she had something of the sense of loneliness of an exile, of an alien, on this little island, which yet she loved so well.
‘Voyons, voyons!’ said Nadine impatiently, not accustomed to, or tolerant of, being made to wait. ‘Do not be afraid. I will tell you frankly whether you have any artistic aptitude, or whether you had better stay and gather oranges and never open a poem all your life. These gentlemen will flatter you, but I shall not. Voyons!’
She spoke imperatively, and with the imperial air of her most resolute will. Damaris grew very pale, even to her lips, but she did not dare refuse to obey. She opened her mouth once, twice, with a deep-drawn, fluttering, frightened breath; then she began to recite, with tremulous voice, the
Notre ennemi cruel devant vous se déclare:
C’est lui, c’est le ministre infidèle et barbare
Qui, d’un zèle trompeur à vos yeux revêtu,
Contre notre innocence arma votre vertu.
Et quel autre, grand Dieu! qu’un Scythe impitoyable
Aurait de tant d’horreurs dicté l’ordre effroyable?
and passed on to the passage,
O Dieu, confonds l’audace et l’imposture!
At first her timidity was so great that she was almost inaudible, but at the fifth and sixth lines the charm which the words possessed for her began to absorb her thoughts, to take her out of herself into the region of poetic feeling, to spur and stimulate and strengthen her. Nature had given her tones full of tenderness and power, and capable of many varying emotions, and the dramatic instinct, which was either inherited or innate in her, made her give wholly unconsciously the just expression, the true emphasis, the accent which best aided the meaning of the verse, and best shaped its harmonies and grace.
Her first embarrassment once passed, the animation and spirit natural to her returned; her intuitive perception made her lend the required force and feeling to each verse; she could have recited the whole of the play with ease, so familiar to her were the lines of all the few volumes she possessed. Night after night, in her little balcony, when everyone slept except herself and the nightingales, she had declaimed the speeches sotto voce for her own delight, living for the hour in the scenes they suggested, and forgetting all the more sordid details of the existence which surrounded her, seeing only the moon and the sea and the orange flowers. At any other time her meridional accent, her childish exaggeration of emphasis, and southerner’s excess of gesture, would have incurred the ridicule of her hypercritical auditor. But now the critic was in the mood to be kind and to be easily pleased. She closed her ears to the defects, and only noted with approbation the much there was to praise and to approve in the untaught recitation of a girl of fifteen, who had never seen a stage or heard a recital in the whole of her short life.
Damaris paused abruptly, and with a startled look, like one awakened out of dreamland into rough reality.
‘I beg your pardon, I forgot myself,’ she said stupidly, not well knowing what she meant and hardly where she was.
She did not hear the eager praises of the gentlemen about her; she only heard the sweet cool voice of the woman who was her judge, and who had listened in impassive silence:
‘My dear, you have talent,’ said that voice. ‘Perhaps you have even genius. With all that music in your shut soul you must not marry Gros Louis.’
Damaris looked at her wistfully, with all the colour hot in her face, and her heart beating visibly. Then, she could not have told her why, she burst into tears.
‘Une sensitive!’ murmured her visitant a little impatiently. ‘You see, my dear Duke! — it is Aimée Desclée, not Rachel; Adrienne Lecouvreur, not Mlle. Mars.’
‘The greater pity then to take her from her orange-groves,’ answered Béthune. ‘What will Paris or the world give that will compensate for all her loss!’
Damaris did not hear. With shame at her own emotion, and unwillingness that it should be pitied or observed, she had turned away, and had been sobbing silently over the uplifted head and questioning face of Clovis, who had come upward to inspect the strangers.
‘If Esther can move her so greatly,’ said Nadine with her little ironical smile, ‘what will Dona Sol do and Marion de l’Orme?’
‘I do not think,’ said Béthune, ‘that it is Esther which moves her now; it is your abrupt revelation to her of her own powers. Surely to discover you have genius must be like discovering that you have a snake in your breast and eternal life in your hand.’
She laughed, and went to where Damaris stood with the dog, striving to conquer her weakness.
‘My dear child, surely you cannot weep for Gros Louis? Nay, I understand; I startled you because I told you that if you study and strive you can do great things. I believe so. If you wish I will help you to do them.’
The girl was silent. So immense was the vision which opened before her, a
nd so enormous to her fancy were the perils and difficulties which stretched between her and this promised land, that she was mute from awe and from amazement.
Always to dwell on Bonaventure, always to steer and sail on the sea, always to gather the olives and oranges, always to see the sun rise over the wild shores of Italy and set over the coast of Spain far away in immeasurable golden distances, always to run up and down the rocks like the goats, and swim like the dolphins, and go to bed with the birds and get up with them — this had been the only life she had known. For the moment she could attain no conception of any other. She had seen the churches at Villefranche and Eza, and she had seen the building yards of Villefranche and St. Tropez, and that was all; her only idea of the great world was of a perpetual fête-day, with the priests always in their broidered canonicals, and the church bells always ringing, and the people always thronging in holiday attire, and going up and down sunny streets noisily and laughing.
That was all she could think of; and yet Imagination, that kindliest of all the ministers of humanity, had told her there must be more than this somewhere; had filled her mind with many dim, gorgeous, marvellous pageantries which grew up for her from the black printed lines of ‘Sintram’ and ‘The Cid.’ There must be something better than the Sundays of the mainland —— And yet to leave her island seemed to her like leaving life itself!
All these conflicting thoughts striving together in a mind which was vivid in its fancies and childish in its ignorance moved her to an emotion which she could neither have controlled nor have described; she could find no words with which to answer this great lady, who seemed to her to have thrown open great golden gates before her, and let in a flood of light which dazzled her, streaming on her from unknown skies. And at last she yielded.
‘Catherine, I am going on the sea,’ she cried, as she ran indoors, blushing to the roots of her hair at the subterfuge, for she was very truthful.