Rainer grinned from ear-to-ear before he pointed to his chest. “Right over my heart. She marked me first.”
My cheeks heated, and I groaned, embarrassment making me bury my head in the blankets. Preston walked over closer to the bed. I lifted my head to look at him. “I… I couldn’t control myself.”
“Nor should you have. It’s called mating. And once, not so very long ago, none of us would have been embarrassed to talk about it. It’s normal for us. We’re not humans. You touch other wolves and transfer your healing energy to them because you’re the most special wolf ever born. You’re our Omega. Mark us. Please. I’ll practically beg.”
My whole body heated up. When I spoke, it was with a lower voice than I expected to hear coming out of my mouth. “You’ll never have to beg me for anything.”
He picked me up, pressing my naked body against his clothed one. “When I come home from work, I’m going to make you so happy. And when I’m done, I’m going to bite you some place the whole world can see.”
The next time I went around humans they were going to think I was obsessed with hickeys. I didn’t even mind the thought.
“Put her down.” Rainer got up from the bed. “And go to work if you’re going. I’m going to cook us something for breakfast.”
“After I leave?” Preston kissed my cheek but did set me down. “All right. All of you stay here while I go work. I’ll spend the day feeling resentful and annoyed. But you’re going to be here when I get back so that part I’ll look forward to.”
I squeezed his hands. “When it’s safe, can I please come see your business? When whatever this is, is finally done?”
He touched my cheek. “I’d love that.”
Rainer put on his boxers and whistled as he walked out of the room. For a second, Preston just stared into my eyes. I wasn’t sure what he saw there, but he nodded like he’d gotten some kind of answer. His scent was neutral but happy.
I kissed his chin. “I feel guilty. I shouldn’t be this happy. My family is missing. There are Loups out there suffering. Our entire species is in massive pain, denying their nature. But here I am in your house… happy. That seems wrong, somehow.”
He kissed my lips, gently. “I’ve never known happiness like finding you. And… fuck the world, Mac. We’re happy. I’m not going to suffer any guilt for that.”
“Go.” I stepped out of his arms. “Before I ask you not to.”
I quickly dressed, and he didn’t move, waiting for me to finish.
He extended his hand, and I took it, letting him lead me from the room. I loved how he said my name. What would it sound like coming out of his mouth in passion? I pushed away the thought. I’d had sex once. I couldn’t instantly become an addict. Could I?
I separated from him at the bottom of the stairs. Anton came out of the kitchen and strode right to me. He took my hand and placed it on his chest. I could feel his heartbeat. His smile was slow but adoring.
I sighed, so glad to see him. “You know what happened?”
He nodded fast. Obviously, he could remember shifting. That was a plus. He pointed outside and then at me. “Yes, we left while you were sleeping. I had to save those men. I couldn’t leave it. Like breathing…”
He pressed our foreheads together, grasping onto me tightly. I stayed like that for a second. “I wasn’t at risk. I promise. I didn’t go alone. And next time… if there is a next time… you’ll come, too.”
He nodded, brushing his cheek against mine. The slightest bite of stubble scratched me, and I didn’t mind at all. Just to get to be this close to him was a gift.
“Anton, what am I going to do as the only living Omega?”
He pulled back to look at me. I didn’t see any answers in his gaze.
“Hey.” Jarret came toward us, handing me a bottle of water. “Rainer is actually cooking. A whole big thing of breakfast. I’m so excited. Kenzie, we all shifted together. I can’t even believe it, and I did it. Feels like a dream. Thank you.”
I shook my head, hugging him to me. “Thank me? No. This is all my fault. I don’t know how this works, but you’re going to have to go through withdrawal now, too. I… I should be apologizing. I mean, Omega or not, we can’t do this. We’re all bound by the Accords.”
He hugged me tighter. “Right now I don’t care about that. I always knew I was living a half-life, and I didn’t think there was a thing I could do about it. You saved me. Something in me… it was dying. Now I feel me for the very first time. Thank you.”
“Oh, Jarret… I…”
Sadness hit my nose; the scent overbearing, and I stepped away from Jarret. It wasn’t him giving me that scent. No, I whirled around. Were there Loups at the door? Anger took over the smell of sadness and had me charging toward the door. Gus strode toward me from outside where he must have been by the swamp.
Preston was right behind him. I looked between the two of them. Had they been fighting? The guys had hostility toward Gus, that much would be obvious even if I couldn’t smell it, but they’d never gotten really upset. I needed the whole story. We all hardly knew each other when it came down to it. Even if things had started to pick up in the feelings department.
“What’s wrong?”
Gus lifted his brows. “You could smell it out there?”
“What’s wrong?” I didn’t want to talk about my nose. I’d repeat myself until I got answers. My hands burned. The energy trade that Preston spoke of earlier turned on. When something was wrong, I needed to fix it.
Preston came up next to me. “We’re okay. You don’t have to fix anything for us. No, honey. This is about you.”
I steeled my spine. Rainer, Anton, and Jarret were behind me. “Somebody talk, now.”
“I’ve been waiting for information on your family. It’s what I feared. They’ve been taken. The same way you were. It seems like almost all the Colorado families were. I’ve sent trackers after them. We found you. We’ll find them. They’ve shut the facility in North Carolina, but that means nothing. We’d already started to follow their money. They’re Hunters. They should be killing wolves, but they’re not. We don’t know why, and they didn’t have you long enough for you to even know, I don’t think. Do you know what they wanted?”
My head spun. That was a valid question, an important one. It deserved an answer. I had to think. I had to… push through the nausea that made me want to puke. My family was taken. No, it was one thing for it to happen to me. Another to think of my brothers, my mom, my dads… none of them should be at risk.
Anton stroked his finger down my cheek. I blinked. They needed an answer. “Just vague impressions. A cage. Men in lab coats. Guns. Laughter. I shifted. I think I was drugged, and then I was a wolf. I’m sorry. I didn’t know what was going to happen. You came. Like an avenging angel. And killed them.”
He shook his head. “I killed one of them. You’d already taken down three all on your own. Don’t worry. I always find my prey. Particularly the kind that takes what doesn’t belong to them.” His gaze quickly shot to Anton and then just as fast away.
My youngest mate rocked back on his feet. The quick glance hadn’t been lost on him. I rubbed the back of my neck. “I knew I’d killed at least one. It’s still blurry.”
Jarret nodded. “Like my shift. I only have impressions of it.”
Anton shook his head, and Jarret lifted his eyebrows. “You remember it? Clearly?”
He nodded in response.
Gus sighed. “I always remembered mine, too. Few do. It just is what it is. MacKenzie, I will get your family back. But now I have to go.”
He had to go? “Where are you going? Can I help? I could come.”
“No,” he yelled over his shoulder as he headed for his dilapidated truck. “Stay here, Omega. Stay hidden. Every wolf matters, but for now you matter more. And my sons need you. They’re all going to figure out how to pull their shit together. And how to take care of you. I have faith in them.”
Preston groaned. Rainer rubbed my back.
It was Jarret who spoke. “Come inside. It’s humid out here. Let’s go in. We can talk this out.”
“Talk it out?” My temper flared, but I knew it wasn’t fair to direct this at any of them. They hadn’t caused this, and they’d been nothing but kind to me. I bit down on my lip before I could say something I’d regret. I’d never gotten mad particularly well. My anger was at these Hunters not at them. Certainly not at Jarret’s sweet words.
I stepped away. I needed air, I needed space. I needed…” I don’t suppose I can shift right now.”
“Right now? In the middle of the day?” Preston looked around. “I…”
“Go to work,” Rainer spoke to Preston. “No, you can’t shift right now. Not even here with seemingly no one around. It’s not safe. We’ll shift when it’s safe and when it’s crisis. Otherwise we’re going to be safe. Hidden. And that means not being flippant about when and how. I get it. You need some space. And your wolf wants to give that to you by running as far and as fast as you can. You want space, you can have it, but not like that.”
I growled and then covered my mouth. Humiliation hit me, warring with the million other things I was feeling.
Rainer shook his head. “It’s okay. I don’t care if you growl at me. As long as you listen. I only want to keep you safe. Keep us all that way.”
I shook my head. “I don’t get mad well. I don’t do… sad and angry well. I’m terrified. You must smell it. That’s a very bad situation for me. I’m a grown up. I can learn to control myself. I’m working on it.”
“So far all you’ve done is growl and not speak whatever you’re thinking in anger.” Jarret shrugged. “Last time I was terrified I was a lot more vocal than you. Don’t worry about it. We’re all terrible at this.”
Rainer nodded toward the inside. “Come in. Let’s eat something. You have to be starving.”
I was. And coffee sounded like heaven. “They have my family. What am I going to do? How are they going to get through this? My mother…”
“Was once a shifting werewolf. Your fathers, too. Your brothers, if they have half your backbone, will be fine. It’ll be okay. Trust Gus. He does what he says he’ll do even when its obstinate and against whatever everyone else wants him to do. He says he’s going to get your family, he will.”
Preston delivered that speech and then kissed me on the cheek. Just like that, I believed him. Preston thought Gus would get this job done, and I had no reason to think Preston didn’t know of what he spoke.
I nodded as my stomach grumbled. “Is there bacon?”
Rainer put his arm around my shoulder. “There will always be bacon.”
Well, now that was a promise I could be excited about. “When we get my mother back, she’s going to freak out that I’m living the way I am. With you guys. Shifting. I was always the best at pretending to be human.”
Even if every day had felt a little bit like death. My family would be fine. They had to be. I couldn’t accept any other outcome.
Chapter 8
I was so full I couldn’t move but that didn’t mean I couldn’t think. My family was missing. Most of the pack in Colorado was, too, and I needed to stay hidden like some kind of princess locked in a swamp. I had no illusions about why this was. Sure, I was the mate to the Lejeune brothers, but it was also because I’d turned out to be an Omega. I’m sure they would have wanted me safe if I’d been just a regular werewolf, but they were really not going to let me out of their sight since I had to keep the entire werewolf community from becoming Loup Garous.
Jarret bumped me slightly. “What can we do today to make things a little easier? Short of chasing after my father to go kill werewolf Hunters.”
I chewed on my lip. “Maybe it would help them if I could come up with memories of what happened, of how they took me. It’s such a fog.”
He nodded at me. “It might. I’m not sure how we do that. My memories of last night are so all over the place. I’m not sure how to get that back. I can’t advise you on how to get your own back.”
Anton held up his tablet. Jarret sucked in a long breath. “Are you actually going to use that thing?”
With a smirk, Anton rolled his eyes at Jarret. “I think it’s not helpful to get yourself upset over something you can’t control. You’re not going to get those memories back. It’ll be like beating your head against a brick wall.”
The low mechanical voice of the tablet spoke for Anton. He was right. I sighed. This wasn’t going to get any easier.
Jarret pointed at him. “How is it that you have your memories? Why aren’t you afflicted? You and Gus. By the way, I think that settles the question as to whether you’re his or not.”
Rainer snorted as he walked in the room. “Was there any question about that? Same shade of brownish, grayish eyes. Yes, he belongs to Gus. And you’re Brian’s. You look just like him.”
Jarret nodded. “Not that any of us are ever supposed to speculate about that. We all belong to everyone. Six fathers. One mother. You’re very obviously Kevin’s.” He looked up at me. “Although I’ve never been clear on Preston.”
Rainer nodded. “That’s because you don’t have clear memories of Joe. He looks and acts just like him.”
Their father who had died rescuing Anton. I’d forgotten his name was Joe. That was a famous story, and what had pushed the family into signing the Accords and giving up shifting.
Jarret cleared his throat, and Anton put his hand on his brother’s back. He typed on the tablet as he shook his head. “That’s never been your fault.”
I looked between them. “Why would it be?”
“Because I was watching him. When he got taken out of the crib. My mother had left me in there, and she’d said stay here with your brother while I run dinner next door.” Jarret pointed down the swamp. “About ten miles that way. That’s where our home was. This one’s been empty forever but that was our childhood home. They rushed in the house. I ran, leaving him in the crib. And, well… yeah.”
Anton slammed his tablet down and shook his head again, pointing at his brother.
I swallowed. “How old were you?”
“I was three.”
Rainer growled. “Have you seriously been carrying that around? And neither of you told me? You were three. You shouldn’t have been left with him to begin with, even for three seconds, alone in the house. She fucked up. The neighbors had pneumonia. Her heart was in the right place giving them dinner. It speaks to how well behaved you were to begin with that she could even do that. We’re lucky they didn’t get you, too. I wasn’t there, but my understanding is that you ran for help. Remember that much?”
Jarret cracked his neck. “No. I don’t. I know that the dads never forgave me. And I know that even that little, I loved the baby, and I shouldn’t have left him alone. If they’d taken me, we could have gone together and maybe I’d be the one with the tablet.”
Anton shoved him. He was angry. I could smell it, an acrid scent that was more fury than mad. Rainer leaned against the counter, seemingly relaxed. I didn’t get anything from him except calmness in his scent.
He pointed at Jarret. “You think Anton would ask you to trade places with him? Fuck, no. He doesn’t even remember what happened.”
“Yeah… well, Joe died and sometimes I forget he ever existed so I’m really a piece of shit.”
Rainer tugged Jarret into a tight hug. “You were just a baby, too. My little brother. And they were waiting for her to go from the house, like they knew she would. Like they had a role to play in that woman’s pneumonia somehow, anticipated Mom would leave the babies. They wanted you, too.”
Jarret didn’t speak, but I smelled his sadness fading. “You know they all hate me.”
“They don’t. They hate me a little bit. They don’t know what to make of Preston. He’s an explosion they keep waiting to happen. Anton makes them sad because they’ve never seen him the way he actually is. They don’t hate you. They don’t know what to make of you. We’re a little bit fucked
up to them. That’s okay. We get each other.”
Jarret stepped back. “Yes. And now we get her.”
He winked at me, and I hugged him like Rainer had done. “My parents hardly think of us at all. It’s not a happy life, not shifting, always pretending. Maybe they’re all just so consumed with their own suffering they can’t think of us at all because they’re too busy just getting through the pain.”
Anton tugged Jarret away from me and then hugged me tightly.
Jarret groaned. “Yeah. Yeah. I forgive you for shoving me.”
Rainer put his arm around me. “About time we had this conversation. This is because of you. We might have gone our entire lives never speaking about this. You came. We’re going to be better. I know it.”
I sighed. “Rainer, I’m just one woman. Don’t pin too many hopes on me.”
“We’ll see.”
I needed to get busy. “Do you think it would be useful for me to go room to room and make a list of what we should fix in each one? Would that be helpful or annoying to Preston?”
Jarret laughed. “I don’t think there is much you could do that would piss Preston off. This is your house. I mean, assuming we want to stay here. Is that what we want?”
“Don’t look at me.” Rainer laughed. “I’m kind of lost in the world outside of this group. I’ll go wherever you guys want. For now, this is the best place to keep you hidden.”
I rubbed my arms. “I don’t want to stay hidden forever. There has to be a time at which I don’t have to be. I know, I’ve been here just a couple of days and things are nuts. We’re all acting like this is normal. A person showing up on your door who you have to care for who turns out to be your mate and also an Omega? You’re uprooting your lives. My family is missing and… yep. I can’t even. I’m not going down this path. I’m going to go room to room and, I don’t know, do something.”
To their credit, they let me do as I wished. I appreciated that no one argued with my need to go do something, to simply be busy. They didn’t know me, or how important it had always been to me to be busy.
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