I’d been raised doing outdoorsy things in the woods and the mountains, but it had never included handling a boat of any kind. Not to mention, this water was quite different. It must have been harder.
I leaned back and pretended I wasn’t a worrywart. “Did you decide that we should do this in the canoe as a means of getting me outside, but seeing to it that I was less likely to be spotted this way?”
He nodded and gave me that half smile I’d learned meant I’d caught him in a devious thought. He’d thought he was being sneaky.
The sun shone through the moss on the trees, reflecting off the water. I’d almost gotten used to the faint smell of sulfur and the way the floating logs might or might not be trees.
I looked at the houses as we floated by them. Some of them had residents, some of them were vacation homes, some of them were mansions that had become so dilapidated they were practically shacks, and others had been shacks in the first place. Silence with Anton wasn’t uncomfortable, and eventually, we reached the house they’d lived in when they were kids. Well, Anton hadn’t lived in it very long.
I stared at it as we approached. “Why did you guys have two houses?”
He shrugged. Maybe he didn’t know. He’d been a baby. I’d ask Rainer when I saw him. That would be the kind of thing he’d remember. Not that it particularly mattered. We pulled up to the dock. This house was bigger. Maybe they’d meant to have a huge family. I looked at the house next to it, where the woman had been sick and Aurora had left to help, leaving her kids unattended.
She was a sad, flawed woman but no one deserved what happened to her family. Jarret came down the dock. “When you texted to say that you were coming, we thought the driveway.”
Anton shrugged again, and Jarret grinned. “Smart thinking.”
“Yep.” I let Jarret help me up on the dock. “Why did you guys have two houses?”
“Uh… I think our house, the one we’re living in was the guest house for other werewolves or something. Like when delegations came down.”
He put his arm around me while Anton tied up the canoe. Jarret kissed my cheek. “I see you have another mark. Looks good on you. Still have room on there for me?”
“Count on it.” He nodded. It was a funny thing, it hadn’t occurred to me that he might worry about it, but this was Jarret who was always being told he did things wrong. “Don’t take it like it was some kind of order. It just worked the way it worked. You have just as much a place in my heart as they do.”
He kissed my cheek again. “Let me do something special for you, okay? Let me… make you feel how I feel about you.”
I blinked, my heart swelling and tears coming to my eyes. “You already do.”
“Hey there.” Leaning in the doorway was Preston. “Look who’s out of the house! I noticed when Anton texted to say this was happening, it was just to inform us that it was and not to ask what we thought about you leaving the house.”
I winked at him. “I guess Anton doesn’t do decisions by committee.”
Preston touched the edge of his mark on my chest, visible just at the top of the vee in my t-shirt. “So this is where you lived? Why did you pick the ah—guest house—when you decided to move here?”
“Bad juju in this house.” He thickened his accent when he said that. “I thought it might be better to not live where the Hunters came for us and screwed up our family.”
Rainer called from inside. “If you guys are here, I’d really appreciate the help. We’ve got most of the things that are salvageable into the truck—and the few things that aren’t but that Jarret wants to try to save—in there, too. Just need some chairs loaded up.”
I followed the sound inside as the guys went to help Rainer. The place was huge and not in the same way that our house was. This one had ceilings so high I could barely see the top of them. This house had been designed for royalty. Werewolf royalty.
My sneakers squeaked as I walked through the center hallway. How had Aurora decorated things?
“Did Gus get dressed up for your mom? When he hung around? Before the shifting stopped? I mean, this is the swamp but was it a dress up swamp house or a casual one?”
Preston looked over his shoulder at me. “My mother isn’t from a dress up, fancy background; her parents were farmers. Well, farmer werewolves. The Lejeune name was famous from her uncle. He never mated or had kids. So when he died, the famous part of it passed to her. A few years later, she mated our dads. The dress up part? She does it because she thinks she should. Like an obligation since she inherited the obligation of the name.”
I supposed that made sense. “Hard to imagine werewolf society as being a thing when mostly now it’s a hush hush truth.”
“Gus keeps my mom connected to her roots. Joe was like that, too. And Cristian to a degree. Kevin is who you go to when you want to put on a show. That being said, Brian is the one to tell everyone to get over the nonsense, and Stan doesn’t care what anyone thinks. But to answer your question? Gus would put on a tie and smile if it would make her happy. He only leaves because she supports him in needing it. If not, he’d try not to need it, which is an impossible thing. But he’d try. They’re many things. Connected. Loving. Even if it doesn’t make sense when you break it down to its pieces, it works as a whole.”
I supposed that made total sense. “All family is like that. I can see it, the way you describe it.”
“That being said? Keep me far away. They all make me nuts. I don’t want anything to do with anyone’s rules, obligations, or pasts anymore.”
“Really?” I smiled. “Anyone’s?”
Preston smiled. “Well, yours is a different matter. Give me all your problems, honey. I’ll solve them all.”
I rolled my eyes and laughed. “Well, I’ll just get on that.”
This was my family now. Even as my own was missing, absent, and a constant worry on the edge of my mind, I could feel with each bite as their family became mine.
Chapter 12
I didn’t know if I’d expected the ghosts of the past to come and introduce themselves to me just because I stepped into their childhood home. It had been such a very long time since anyone had been here that I couldn’t even smell the scents of anyone having lived in it. The house didn’t scream neglect. Someone, as in from the other house, had been coming here and at least keeping the place from falling completely into disrepair. The decorations weren’t to my liking—I’d never liked wallpaper as much as I did paint but that was a personal preference.
Preston turned the corner, staring at me. “Amazing you found just the room.”
I lifted my eyebrows. “Sorry?”
“This was the nursery where Anton was in his crib and where Jarret escaped and ran for help.”
I looked around. “Funny, I was just thinking I had no sense of anything, but it looks like I stumbled upon the right room.”
Preston held out his hand. “Come on. Let’s get out of here.”
I linked our fingers. “Who keeps this place up?”
“My father Stan. He comes up every so often and cleans and fixes things. He did the other house, too, until I took it over.”
Well, that answered that question. “I’m sorry that this place holds those kinds of memories for you guys.”
“That’s okay. I’ve never felt particularly invested in living in the past. I wasn’t there when they took my brother. I didn’t get to go on the fight to get him back. All of that was done without me even around. I was pretty useless to Anton then. But I’ve tried to have his back ever since. I can’t do anything about then. Just now.”
I touched his cheek. “Let’s go home.”
It was funny how fast that place had become home. I didn’t know what the humans knew about us, what they didn’t know, but I knew that they thought of us as monsters most of the time. Well, my monster heart swelled every day as I discovered this world I never expected to have.
He nodded. “Sounds like a plan.”
* * *
Rainer sat and placed his phone at the center of the table. He’d made everyone chicken. “Gus says there might be a lead.”
I looked up. “A lead?”
“On your family. North Carolina is a dead end. But it looks like they’re headed to Texas. He didn’t have a lot of details yet, but they’re headed there.”
I tapped my fork so fast that it made a clinking noise on the table. “I don’t suppose we could go.”
Preston tilted his head. “I won’t lose you, Mac. Do you understand? We take you there and there is every chance they take you again. I get it. You don’t want to be a damsel in distress, staying in one place doing nothing. So I’ll tell you what. I found the sisters. The ones related to the Omega. We can go there tomorrow when I get done with work.”
Rainer nodded. “That sounds like a plan. Let’s find out more about what it means that you’re the Omega.”
I yawned, which took me by surprise. I hadn’t realized I was so tired. “Do you think we’re going to get another Loup visitor tonight?”
Jarret kissed my cheek. “I hope not. We could try to patrol and keep them away, but I don’t know about the rest of you, but as far as dealing with them, there isn’t any putting them off. They want her, and they’re determined to get to her.”
Rainer sighed. “At least so far it hasn’t been full on daylight in the center of town.”
“Or you know… in front of someone with their cell phone out.” Jarret sighed.
I looked at Anton. “What do you think?”
He shook his head and met my eyes. Anton didn’t think we were getting through this night without a Loup. I sighed. “Well, if that is the case, then I want to do something fun. Can we get some decent Wi-Fi in here? Some television? So we can do something with our evenings.”
Preston sighed. “I was basically working all the time. I’d come home, drink beer, and not think of shifting. Yes, I’ll get us better Wi-Fi and some television in here. We’re going to all start helping Jarret fix this place up. Under Jarret’s direction, of course, since I don’t have the sense of it.”
Jarret leaned forward. “We took out those three Hunters. Do you think it might be safe enough to shift just for the fun of it? Not because we’re in any dire circumstances?”
Rainer tilted his head. “Well… it’s risky. Or maybe it’s not. I have no way of knowing. When they were attacking us and the Loup, they didn’t, as far as I can tell, call for help. I think we might be clear. But I’ll tell you what… you want to go shifting and running around with our girl, stay close for now. I’ll stay nearby so that if something bad comes near, we can all help.”
Preston looked between us. “They get to go out alone?”
Rainer hit him in the shoulder. “Jarret’s turn.”
“Aha.” Preston grinned at Jarret. “Well, have a great shift and whatever else while I am trying to double check the address of the missing daughters of the Omega with my very slow Internet.” He shrugged. “You know what? This is exciting. Doing the mundane with this family here is wonderful.”
I shook my head and leaned over to kiss him. “There is nothing mundane. Hunters running around. My family missing. Missing daughters. Come on, Pres, it’s high excitement here.”
Anton grinned at me, and Rainer shook his head. “The mundane will not seem so bad when we have furniture, so I am going to start unloading the truck.”
Anton pointed behind him and mimicked typing. He was going to work.
Jarret took my hand. I’d never shifted for fun, and my heart skipped a beat. “Where are we going to go?”
“I think we’ll figure that out when we do it.” He looked at Rainer. “That’s how it works, right?”
Our Alpha nodded. “That’s how it works and someday soon I’ll know it again, too. For tonight, you two have fun.”
I patted him on the back before I leaned over to kiss him. “I feel very hopeful tonight, as though things are finally turning around. They’re going to find my family. We’re all going to be together. Sort out the Loups. Look at me. I’m an optimist.”
“You weren’t already an optimist?” Rainer lifted an eyebrow. “I smell optimist all over you. I think the dive into pessimism was a temporary problem.”
Joy filled me from the inside out. He was wrong. I’d always been… fine. Sort of neutral. This kind of happy? No, this was new for me. I wanted to roll around in it.
* * *
Jarret stared at me in the setting sun. “It’s funny. I don’t know how to call the shift without crisis.” He ran a hand through his hair. “The last two times were just instinct.”
That was true for me, too. I’d never done it just to do it. “How hard can it be? Maybe we just need to concentrate?”
Rainer paused in unloading the car to look at us. “Try picturing the woods. That used to help me. Eventually, the shift will just happen. Like right this second I could shift.”
I closed my eyes. The woods? That was easy. I’d grown up around woods. Cool woods, where sometimes it could even snow in the middle of June. The altitude was different than here.
I could feel Jarret shift, clearly the mind trick worked for him, and I was glad for him, but I stayed on my two feet. Picturing the woods wasn’t getting it done. But then, to be fair, I’d never been a wolf in Colorado. My only experience being a wolf was here in the swamp. Just in the days that I’d been here it had become home.
I pictured the deserted mansions and shacks, the way the gators floated in the water, the way the sense of rightness had filled me up when we’d all been together. Goosebumps broke out all over me, and a second later, I shifted, my bones breaking, my muscles reshaping, fur bursting out on my skin.
I looked around. Yes, I’d done it. Jarret rubbed against me. He was the biggest in wolf form of all my mates. I sniffed the air. There was something to eat nearby. There was no danger, no Loups, none who needed anything from me other than to just let me be me for a change. Jarret tilted his head, amusement in his wolf eyes. There was no way he didn’t smell it, too.
I took off running, knowing he would follow me. Rabbit. I wanted it. And it would be mine.
* * *
I lay on the ground, looking up at the stars, Jarret next to me. We’d both shifted back, and with my belly full, I stared at the sky, my head on his shoulder. We were both naked. If someone came upon us right now, we’d be hauled in and arrested for public indecency. I smiled. That would be funny as hell.
Jarret nudged me. “How great was that?”
“I feel so alive right now.”
He nodded. “Me, too. Like I can finally be me for the first time in my life.”
We were on the dirt and in our human forms. If we made love here, then we would be a mess, but I didn’t care, and I suspected the same was true for him. He grabbed onto my waist and then traveled his hands down to my hips. I kissed him, hard. Jarret was gentle, he met my embrace but easier than I’d done it. I smiled against his mouth.
“Jarret Lejeune, I want to make love to you right here.”
He sucked in his breath. “Okay, but you’ve got to get the last name right… I’ve got yours now.”
I nodded. “Sometimes I forget how things are supposed to be because to me they never were.”
He cupped my chin. “For me, too, beautiful. And yes I want to make love to you on this ground.”
I climbed fully on top of him. He moaned as I connected our mouths again. He drew my head even closer, his hand on the back of my neck. He fisted my hair, and I loved the pinch of pain. Otherwise, he kept his movements easy, loving. Every stroke of his hand, every move of his mouth spoke of his love for me.
Jarret let me lead this. Whatever I wanted, it seemed he did, too. I kissed all over his face. The long slope of his nose, the slight cleft in his chin. The high cheekbones that could have put him on the cover of magazines if he’d been so inclined. I kissed by his ears, down to his neck.
He shuddered when my mouth touched the skin on his neck. I did it again. “I think I
found your spot.”
“My whole body is a spot where you are concerned. There is nowhere you touch me that doesn’t make me want to come.”
I ran my hand down his abs. He was lean but strong. Jarret reached out and stroked his finger over my breast. My nipples hardened. Yes, I wanted more of that. A lot more.
“Put my nipple in your mouth.” I knew I could tell him what I wanted. He smelled like mine. From the moment I’d met him, he’d been the one to give me what I needed. Within seconds of us seeing each other. I’d never not been able to meet his eyes. We were equals in whatever this strange dance of dominance and submissiveness that wolves did. Right then, I could have all of him and that was just what I wanted.
He did just as I’d instructed. Jarret sucked hard on my nipple and this time it was my turn to moan. My insides were on fire. I squirmed against him. Jarret lifted his knee, and I rubbed against it, bringing myself jolts of pleasure.
I ground against his knee, rubbing my clit as I did. He moaned, jerking his hips, and his cock grew. It was too good a sight to ignore. I stroked him from his balls to his tip. Moisture met my fingers.
I pulled my hand back to lick the pre-cum off of them. He let go of my breast and stared up at me with wide eyes. I winked at him. “You taste incredible. I can’t wait for more.”
“Kenzie.” He breathed heavily. “Too much more of that and I’ll never get inside of you.”
I shook my head. “Okay. But soon. After we’ve taken the edge off.”
I took him fully in my hand, loving the feeling of his hardness in my palm. I scooted forward before I took him inside of me. I rubbed against him one more time just to hear him moan. I grinned down at him. Jarret was so handsome, beautiful really.
He ground his hips, and I took the chance to push down on him, filling me up all the way on the inside. I closed my eyes to hold onto the moment, wishing I could stop time. He pressed his hands on my thighs, and I opened my lids to hold his eye contact.
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