“That’s fine. Neither do I. But here’s the truth. I made a terrible error in judgment letting you open that cage. I’ve gotten used to you being the miracle that you are. Watching you take down the Loups, bring back Mercedes, threaten Brennan… I forgot that you can’t heal yourself. I had started to believe there was nothing you couldn’t do.”
I had clearly forgotten how vulnerable I could be as well. “I’m just as capable, obviously, of getting hurt as you are.”
“Worse. Because you could heal me. If someone went for my throat, you’d fix it. I couldn’t make you better. I had to just beg you to shift when you were all but dead and—once again—like a miracle, you did that.”
I had no memory of doing so but what a relief I had. “I’ll be more careful.”
“I’m opening all doors. All cages. Or one of them is. You can save the world, but so help me, I will not lose you to make that happen.”
I nodded, wiping away my tears. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t apologize. The only one who should be saying sorry is your brother. I don’t give a shit what they did to him. Attacking you? Un-fucking-forgivable.”
I could see the cold in his eyes, the hatred as he’d lunged at me. “The dead don’t say they’re sorry.” I choked up again. Oh, the tears. I hated to cry. And my throat was making this way worse.
Rainer lay down next to me, taking me in his arms. He smelled like home. “I guess it’s a good thing he’s not dead.”
I lifted my head. Shock shook me to my core. “What?”
“He’s your brother. I didn’t kill him. Hurt him, yes. And you’ve not been around to heal him, so he’s in a lot of pain. But he’s alive. In a cage. In the living room. Being stared at by Gus and the other dads. I didn’t kill your brother, Beautiful.”
I loved this man. With every ounce of my being.
Chapter 16
The remarkable thing about how I healed was that I didn’t even have a mark on me. My mate marks remained where they’d been. It was as though my body knew what to heal and what to leave alone. I stared at myself in the bathroom mirror, smelling the lavender soap I’d used to wash up and the scent of the shampoo I’d put into my hair.
My eyes were different. I’d never seen the lost expression I had in them right now. I blinked and tried to change my look. Surely, I was in control of the story my gaze told to the world. Nope. It stayed just the same. I leaned on the sink. I was weak. If Rainer hadn’t been sound asleep next to me, I probably couldn’t have sneaked into the bathroom to take this shower to begin with. He hadn’t budged when I got up.
The whole house was quiet. I hoped everyone was getting a little bit of rest. It was dark outside. My days and nights were confused, and the truth was despite Jarret telling me I’d been out for a day, I wasn’t sure how long I’d fallen back asleep for. I had completely lost track of… everything.
The door opened slowly, and Rainer stood there, staring at me. He was disheveled, and his eyes were still unfocused. “You okay?”
“I’m clean.” That seemed to be as good an answer as he was going to get.
“That didn’t really tell me anything. You’re sad. I can smell it. What’s wrong?”
I covered my face with my hands. I was totally naked, but Rainer had seen me that way a lot. I didn’t have any embarrassment when it came to nudity with him. “I don’t really know.”
“You were attacked. It’s going to take some time.” He wrapped me up against him, seeming to not care that I was going to get him wet. He nuzzled his nose against his mark, and I smiled. I loved when they did that. “And you should have woken me up when you wanted to come in here. Your shift saved you but damn, you lost a lot of blood.”
I leaned against him. “Rainer, I can’t stay in bed all day and sleep next to you. I love it, but there are a million things I could be doing. My brother. Figuring out Brennan because I know it sounds cray cray, but I am here to tell you that he is evil. I…”
“You haven’t been in bed all day. I think you went back to sleep about half an hour ago.”
I stopped. I’d been in the shower for fifteen minutes. That meant I really hadn’t slept at all. At least that explained why he hadn’t woken when I got up. He’d just fallen asleep. He wrapped me up in a towel. “Come on. Back to bed.”
“Rainer, I can’t…”
“You can,” he interrupted me, his eyes wolf. “You almost died. Okay? It was close. You need to sleep. Come on.” He pointed at the window. “When there is light in the sky, you can solve the problems. If anyone tries to infringe on you sleeping tonight, they have to go through me.”
He pulled the towel off of me and wrapped me up in the sheets instead. I didn’t usually sleep naked. But I wasn’t going to argue. He was right. This was ridiculous. Why couldn’t I settle? Rainer tucked himself in next to me, wrapping his leg over me, essentially pinning me to the bed.
I sighed. “Rainer, when I look in the mirror, I just see a lost girl who played with the idea that she could do something substantial and almost got killed for it. I’m not special. I have no business, as evidenced by how stupid I was, letting anyone pin any hopes on me.”
He snuggled down so that we shared the same pillow. “Tonight you feel that way. Tomorrow will be a new day with new things to do well and new things to fuck up. Trust me. I get it. One morning I woke up and a girl died. Then one morning I was in jail. Then one morning I was an ex-con.” He yawned. “Then one morning I was your mate. And trust me, you have already done great things. It was my fault you opened that cage. I should have stopped you. You’ve done nothing but trust in a mate who makes huge mistakes.”
I shook my head. “I don’t think you could have stopped me right then. I could only see Agustin. All of you were pointing out problems. I just did as I wanted.”
“Mistakes made all over.” He kissed my chin. “Rest, my love. We get this incredible redo every morning. We won’t squander it.”
I must have fallen asleep because I only became aware of anything again when the bed dipped. Preston’s scent moved over me.
“She okay?” His voice was low.
“She’s sleeping. Finally. Come in if you’re going to. I don’t want her waking.”
The bed dipped farther, and then I had two hard bodies to snuggle me. Preston sighed against my shoulder, his hand caressing the mark on my chest that was his. “I will not lose her. Not ever.”
“Not ever,” Rainer spoke in a low voice.
I let them hold me in the dark night and drifted back into sleep.
* * *
When I woke up, the two who had been there were gone and in their place were my younger two mates. It took me a second to orient myself around the change. How and when had this happened and I’d slept through it?
Jarret winced in his sleep, and I ran my hand through his hair. It seemed to soothe him. Anton was restless, moving around a lot. They were both not sleeping well.
“Hey.” I kissed Anton’s cheek and then Jarret’s. “You two. Time to wake up.”
It took a second but they both eventually opened their eyes. I got two beautiful smiles from them. They didn’t look that much alike, but in that moment, their smiles were almost identical. Anton stretched his arms over his head while Jarret leaned up on his elbow.
“So I know I went to sleep with two different mates in this bed. I’m not complaining. I would gladly sleep with any of you at any time. Did I miss something?”
Jarret laughed. “Preston wasn’t sure you knew he’d been there. No, we may have bullied our way in around four am. Just didn’t seem fair that they get you all to themselves the whole night. Rather than wake you, they relented.”
Wow. I must really have been out of it. I pointed at the window. “Rainer said I was allowed to get up and handle the world when there was light in that window. I think I’m allowed.”
Anton nodded, getting out of the bed to offer me his hand. I took it. Rainer had been right about one thing… life did feel better in the day
light.
* * *
The entire Lejeune family seemed to have gathered in the living room. Aurora looked the most casual I’d seen her so far. She wore jeans and a white t-shirt. If anything, the look made her seem younger, more vulnerable. Had she been hiding behind her fancy clothing? She had her head on Gus’ shoulder. Everyone started talking when I walked in, but I couldn’t take my eyes off the back of the room, directly next to the window, which had a makeshift curtain of a sheet pulled over it.
My brother was in human form, sitting in a cage. He looked at the floor with an expression I’d never seen on his face before. It was… brutal anger. I smelled the air. The metal taste returned to my mouth. I’d ignored it last time; I wouldn’t make that mistake this time. What was that?
“Do you recognize that, Rainer?” Cristian asked my oldest mate as he walked out of the kitchen, holding a cup of coffee. He silently handed it to me. I could see where my mates got their thoughtful gestures.
Rainer sniffed the air. “It’s familiar. When I get close to it, I want to throw up. How’s that? This is what it smelled like in the place they took Anton. This is what it smelled like when they killed Joe. I’ll never forget it. To me, it’s the definition of the word… wrong.”
I sighed. “Do we know why he smells like whatever that is?”
My brother’s head shot up. “Omega.”
“First thing he said since I’ve been here,” Aurora said, not lifting up her head.
He’d said that yesterday, too. “Rainer, I need to get close to him. My hands are burning. My power wants on. How would you like to handle that so we all stay safe?”
Rainer pointed at the cage. “Preston, Jarret, Anton, you’re with me. Sir,” he spoke to Cristian. “Would you mind standing in front of my mate while we do this?”
“Certainly, Son.”
I was a part of this family, and I’d do anything to protect them. But my family was in that cage, too. I had to do everything I could for him.
“Do you know who I am, Agustin?” He’d never been called Gus. He’d always had his full name. He was the baby of the boys but older than me, and I was pretty sure I’d worshiped him every day I’d been alive. He’d never been anything but kind to me.
He stared at me. “Omega.”
I sighed. “Get the cage open, please. However everyone can be safe. I need to… touch him or I won’t know what I’m dealing with, period.”
I wasn’t sure I’d know anyway but touch seemed pivotal. That was why my hands burned.
Anton stepped forward. He had his hand on the cage. I nodded to him, and he opened it. My brother launched forward, shifting. He didn’t get to go for anyone’s neck because Preston shifted at the same time, pinning my brother to the floor. There was an oomph, but Agustin didn’t get away from Preston.
Jarret stepped near them. “I wouldn’t try it, buddy. He used to pin me to the ground in his human form when we were kids. I assure you, I never got away.”
Aurora smiled. “I remember that.”
I walked toward my brother and the room fell quiet. Bending down, it was everything I could do not to wrap my arms around him and hold him close. Tears came to my eyes. “Why did they do whatever they did to you? They didn’t do this to me. What do these people want anyway?”
No one was going to be able to answer my questions except Agustin himself. That meant I had to fix him. I placed my hand on his head, feeling his fur beneath my fingertips. My brother was all black. Blond in his human form and an entirely black wolf. The contrast struck me but didn’t surprise me. The ladies loved him as a towhead. They’d probably love the midnight black fur in their wolf form, too. He inspired attention wherever he went.
My hands burned, and I closed my eyes, finding the sensation suddenly almost too much to bear. Anton and Jarret both placed their hands on my back, but I shook my head. “Thank you, but I think it’s important you actually not touch me right now. I don’t want my power confused.” It would always choose my mates. If they were even tired it might try to fix that. They both let go.
I wished I’d drunk that coffee I’d set down somewhere or eaten anything. The last thing I needed was for my power to falter.
Pain struck me hard and brought me to my knees. My muscles ached; my bones felt like they might shatter. Shifting wasn’t going to help. There was something so wrong inside of my brother. Tears flooded down my face. What was this? It was like Brennan but different. I gagged as the metal taste threatened to overwhelm me. I didn’t want to puke, but I might not have any choice. This was my burden to bear, and so help me, I would do it.
My brother shook. We were in this together. Whatever was going to happen was going to happen to both of us.
“Rainer? Your mate. What is happening?” Aurora cried out. “Stop this before this kills her.”
“It won’t. No one is stronger than MacKenzie.” I was glad for his confidence. It actually helped. He was right. I was new to this, but I was fucking strong. I could do this. It helped to believe that.
I was on my knees, and I might even have doubled over, but I wouldn’t let go. My brother cried out. It started as a howl but quickly he shifted into his human form, the sound changing to more of a bellowing pain.
My chest tightened. This was a new sensation. I was going to have to let go. Agustin stared up at my face. “Kenzie?”
That was improvement. For now, it would have to do.
I let go as my brother passed out on the floor. Sweat dripped down the sides of my face and my hands shook. Jarret rushed over, placing his hand on Agustin. “He has a pulse. He’s just out. You fixed him.”
Preston stepped away, shifting back into his human form. I wished I could agree with what Jarret had said. “No, I didn’t. Unfortunately. But it’s a start.” I scrunched up my face. “I need to get that taste out of my mouth. Like metal. It’s gross. I don’t want to taste any more of that.”
Rainer handed me the coffee I’d yet to drink, and I downed half the cup. I didn’t know what was going on but this was different than the Loups. It was not the same as Mercedes. Their illnesses were based on things going wrong in the pack, in bad decisions forcing people to give up their wolves. This? It was something else entirely.
This was man made, Hunter driven, and I wasn’t sure I could effectively pull my brother back from the brink. Only time would tell.
“Why would someone do this? Why not kill him? Why do this?”
Gus rose from the couch, Aurora with him. “It was a hard battle to get him. They always go for the guns, but they never catch me with their bullets. Cristian, too. We’re good at getting what we want and getting away. I can tell you they didn’t like that I had Agustin. That being said? They’re not interested in killing the wolves they have. They want something else. I don’t know what.”
“What could it possibly be? For goodness sake, what do we have that the humans want?”
“Power,” Agustin spoke before he opened his eyes. When he finally did, it was with exhaustion radiating from his pores. “They want our power. And they want me to kill you. That much I know. You were a problem for them, Sister. Whatever they did to me, didn’t work on you. They said it was because you’re the Omega. They want you dead. That was trained into me. Even now I’m having a hard time resisting the urge.” His face fell. “I did hurt you, didn’t I?”
I patted his shoulder. “Don’t worry about that. I’m fine, as you see. Hard to kill me. I’m tough.” And lucky. “Are you okay? Do you need anything?”
He put his palm on his forehead. “It feels like my thoughts aren’t my own. They have this loud noise. When they play it, I can’t think, can’t do anything except what they say to make that stop. Eventually, it’s like I can’t think at all.”
“Do you think it’s safe to let him go sleep in one of the bedrooms?”
Rainer shook his head slowly. “Not yet.”
My brother groaned. “Keep me from her. Whoever you all are. Please, keep me from her.”
Preston pulled a shirt over his head. “I like him better already.”
* * *
My brother slept fitfully in his cage. We tiptoed around, trying to be quiet. Rainer cooked lunch, but even the smell of chicken didn’t rouse my brother. I’d taken one bite when the pain hit me. It was like I had my hands on Agustin again, as though I was right there. I managed to spit out my chicken before I hit the ground.
Jarret was closest to me and grabbed me into his arms. “Kenzie? What is it? What’s going on?”
“I don’t know…” I held onto him. “Pain. Like I’m healing Agustin but I’m not.” The empty feeling was there, the one I’d had when I’d healed the Loup before the guys had marked me and filled me up inside. How could there be nothing next to so much pain?
I wasn’t alone. I could see that they were with me so why was the agony taking them away from me? Stripping me of their presence inside of me?
“Talk to us,” Jarret asked. It might have been the third or fourth time. I was losing track of things. “Honey? Please.”
I swallowed even though it was hard. “It’s like I’m… fixing him but I’m not. I’m not touching him. The pain is the same.”
“Something about that smell?” Gus asked the room.
Someone knocked on the counter, and it took me a second to realize it was Anton. He held up the tablet. Whatever he needed to say, he wanted everyone to understand.
“It’s because she didn’t finish,” the tablet spoke for him. “It’s not done. Her body… whatever she does… it fixes and then it expels. That’s how this works. It’s why she feels empty sometimes. She’s not done and whatever this power is that she has, it’s not finished, and it’s punishing her for that. I don’t think the Omega is supposed to fix in incremental steps.”
I didn’t know how he’d deduced that, but it sounded right to me. Anton sometimes just knew things. Maybe he should have been the Omega. I sniffed. “He’s right.”
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