“Don’t you hurt her,” he growls.
“Oh, I won’t touch her. She still plays a very important part in my plan,” he pauses, “But I will hurt her in a way that she will never forgive you. She will look upon you with nothing but hatred in her eyes.”
Shadow gulps, his palms sweating and his legs twitching with the urge to run.
But there is nowhere to go.
The Overseer’s eyes turn completely black using his power to manipulate Shadow into his control. Shadow’s eyes match his black ones as he enters a fog, he tries to fight it but it is no use. There is no way out of the manipulation until what is done is done. The Overseer gives his son his cruel orders and Shadow is forced to obey.
Being under the manipulation is like being an empty version of who you once were. He is blank, desolate of any memories or feelings. There is only one thing on his mind and it is echoing with his new purpose—but somewhere in the void of his mind, is the image of Roe. His heart aches with realization that the female he has come to love and adore, the same one who broke down his walls, will soon become unforgiving and loathful after he succeeds in carrying out The Overseer’s orders.
The image of her fades as though she has never existed in the first place and Shadow is no longer the male he used to be.
* * *
Rowan wakes up feeling refreshed from a restful sleep and a smile on her face. She inhales deeply to smell Shadow’s scent on his sheets. That is where she is—Shadow’s room. Looking around there is no sign of him. The warm cotton blanket feels nice on her cool skin, she could stay here all day waiting for him to come back, but her stomach growls and the need for food wins.
She gathers her shoes and sneaks out of the headquarters building hoping to make it to breakfast on time. She debates on bathing and stopping by her tent to put on fresh clothes, but looking at the time, the dining hall will close soon. She’s too hungry to skip breakfast and wait for lunch, and she’s too hungry to worry about what judgements her friends will make about wearing the same clothes from yesterday. Pepper, Solana, and Lola, are already suspecting something is going on between her and Shadow anyways.
“Look who finally decided to grace us with her presence,” Pepper teases while giggling. “Good morning, Roe.”
“Where were you?” Lola looks her up and down with a smirk, “And who got you all disheveled?”
Rowan’s hand goes straight to her hair which is messy and knotted. She uses her fingers to comb through the tangled strains.
“I think we know exactly who,” Solana snorts. “So, where is he?”
She looks around, Shadow is nowhere in sight. She shrugs her shoulders. “I’m not sure.”
“He ditched you right after?” Solana exclaims.
“It’s not like that,” she tries to dismiss it, but can’t help but begin to wonder why she woke up by herself. “We only talked and fell asleep.” She omits the fact that they kissed.
Lola confesses that Pepper, Solana, and Lottie followed her into the temporary tent. They thought she was meeting a boy in secret. The secret is out, the three of them met Melani. Lola comments that Shadow will kill her, but they promise they will never say a word.
Rowan asks, “So where is Melani? Is she adjusting well?”
“She is in her tent, I snuck her a tray so she should be eating. I was going to head back to check on her, but since you’re here, can you? Guests have been complaining about me not being at my booth.”
“I don’t mind.”
“What about lessons?”
“I was supposed to meet with Madame Tallulah and Solana—she has another new potion for me to try out. Shadow should stop by later and take her off my hands in time for me to make it to lessons.”
Rowan is the last to sit down and the last to leave. Pepper brings Lottie with her to her afternoon performance while Solana and Lola leave to tend to their booths. She finishes off the last few bites of her sandwich alone until Blade and Knot invite themselves to sit down with her. They sit on each side of her. The first thing she notices aside from how close they are, is that they have no food trays.
“We know what you did,” Knot whispers as his lips kiss her ear.
“You have no idea what chaos you just unleashed,” Blade murmurs in her other ear.
“What are you two talking about?” A lump gets caught in her throat as she looks between the two large males. If they knew she played a part in helping Melani escape, then The Overseer must know, too.
Did they already talk to Shadow?
“You know what we’re talking about,” Blade remarks
“Why’d you do it?” Knot starts interrogating her. They take turns tormenting her with their questions.
“Because you love Shadow?”
“You don’t even know him—”
“What he’s capable of…”
“How much he has already lied to you.”
She pushes both of them away. “Stop,” she closes her eyes trying to calm her racing thoughts. Trying to make sense of what they’re saying. Trying to believe—wanting to believe they are lying.
“His father should’ve kept him in that cell with her,” Knot gives her a sympathetic look. “It’s not your fault he used your own naivety against you.”
“The Overseer is only doing what’s best for Cirvka,” Blade throws back.
“How is keeping an innocent girl in a cell since she was two years old, doing what’s best for Cirvka?” Rowan spits spitefully. “She’s done nothing wrong!”
“Poor sweetheart,” Knot clicks his tongue. “He has her completely brainwashed. Is that what he told you? He lied to you. I warned you about trusting the wrong people.”
“She is dangerous. Did you know that she killed their mother.”
“What?” She jerks her head back.
“She’s a murderer,” Blade whispers.
“Didn’t you learn that people in cells are there because they’ve done something bad?”
“Why would he let her go if she’s so dangerous?” Her pulse quickens.
Knot and Blade both laugh. “Don’t you see? Together they can overthrow The Overseer and turn this place into ruin.”
“How can you truly understand someone who is deranged?” Blade picks under his fingernails looking bored.
“You’re lying. She’s an innocent girl who was scared and starving!”
“So, what are you doing with her now? Making her strong? Once she regains her energy you’ll be next,” Blade shakes his head.
Knot puts his hand on her shoulder and says softly. “He’s played you. The Overseer tried to warn you, but he didn’t know how to put it so it wouldn’t break your heart. You are, afterall, his goddaughter. He swore to protect you and protect you he will. Shadow is just not the male you thought he was.”
Rowan blinks back a few tears. She can’t believe any of this. She doesn’t know what to believe, she thinks they are just trying to scare her, that they’re most likely lying. She has to believe that they are the ones playing her—not Shadow. Not after last night.
Knot and Blade stand up together and leave. She looks around the room, she is the only one in the dining tent. Her heart pounds in her chest as she abandons her tray and runs toward Melani’s tent.
She’s gone.
She opens the flap to the tent and frantically checks the outside area to see if she is anywhere in sight. She notices Blade and Knot in the distance talking amongst themselves—but no sign of Melani. Her hands run through her hair and she wills herself to control her breathing. She doesn’t understand what to believe, Shadow hasn’t always been the most forthcoming with her, but he’s opened up a lot recently.
Is it that easy to lie to someone?
She made friends quickly here despite being told all of her life never to trust anyone until they’ve earned it.
Did Shadow earn it? She is scared that the answer is no. She is scared that she has just helped a female she knows nothing about escape, and now she is missing.
And so is Shadow.
* * *
Knoton has waited years for this plan to play out. Then Shadow had to ruin everything by finally breaking out his sister. He doesn’t know how he did it, luck perhaps. The Overseer has never let the key to her cell out of his sight. They needed more time, they needed until Rowan’s eighteenth birthday, but things are different. The plan has moved up thanks to Shadow’s foolishness.
He and Blade distracted Rowan by filling her head with lies. While they did that Prince Arlo checked all the tents until he found Melani. They needed to get Melani away from Rowan and back into the cell so when chaos erupts tomorrow, Roe will place the blame on both Shadow and his sister. Then she’ll come running back to The Overseer.
Knot has known Shadow his entire life and has come to think of him as a good friend, but when he and Blade—The Overseer’s eyes and ears—overheard Shadow talking to her about how his father whipped him and keeps his innocent sister in a cell, you could see Rowan putting her defenses up around The Overseer. He was ruining the plan. Shadow was blinded by Roe and her beauty and nearly costs them everything they have worked so hard to build.
At the headquarters building in the restricted section of Cirvka, Shadow is in his room staring blankly at the wall waiting to fulfill his part tomorrow. Knot waits in his room for Arlo to be done delivering Melani to The Overseer, who is waiting in his office to accept his unconscious daughter.
It doesn’t take long until Arlo enters Knot’s room, their bodies collide and they kiss feverishly celebrating a successful mission and hopefully a successful one tomorrow, too.
* * *
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Rowan is in complete panic mode. Her head is dizzy, her heart is broken, and her lungs are out of breath trying to find Melani.
After she checks every tent and every acre of Cirvka, she rushes to Lola’s booth to see if perhaps Melani got scared of being alone and went to find Lola.
Nothing.
She is nowhere.
“What happened?” Lola notices how frantic she is.
“Melani,” she breathes out still trying to catch her breath. Her lungs are burning and she feels as though she is going to pass out.
“What about her? Are you sure Shadow didn’t take her?”
“Oh Lola,” she breaks out into body-wracking sobs. “I’m such a fool.”
Lola exits her booth to wrap her arms around Rowan and guide her into her booth to sit on a stool and calm down. “Tell me everything,” she rubs her back in a soothing motion.
“Could we have been wrong about them?”
“About who?” Lola knits her eyebrows together.
“Shadow and Melani.”
She opens her mouth but doesn’t say anything. A moment passes before she answers baffled, “What did they do?”
“I don’t know. I don’t know what to believe,” she puts her elbows on her lap and hunches over herself. “Is it possible that Shadow was never who he let on to be?”
“I hate to say this...but what kind of person was he?” She sits on the other stool and sighs. “I’ve known him for years and yet, I didn’t. I guess it is entirely possible he isn’t who we thought he was,” her expression is solemn as she says, “I’m sorry, Roe. I know how much you care for him.”
“She’s gone. I think this morning Shadow snuck out and grabbed Melani while we were at breakfast.” She can’t believe this is happening to her. She gave her heart wholly to him only so he could take it and run with it. “I don’t know where either of them are. I don’t know what they plan on, but from what Knot and Blade told me, it doesn’t seem good.”
“Maybe they’ll show up and then this will all just be a funny mistake,” Lola offers one of her heartwarming smiles and Rowan sniffles trying her best to smile back.
At least in moments like this she can still rely on Lola.
“Do you want me to steal another bottle of wine from the dining tent?” She offers and that makes her chuckle. “I can grab Solana, Pepper, and Lottie after and we can have a girl’s night. We can talk and badmouth Shadow. It’ll make you feel better.”
“Thank you,” she stands to hug her friend for a long while.
“I have an idea of what we can do in the meantime,” Lola grabs her wrist tugging her away from the booth.
Her heart feels a little heavier as well as the rest of her limbs as they try to keep up with Lola. Her energy seems nonexistent and what sounds good to her is, laying in bed with the covers over her head and sleeping for the rest of eternity. There is a hole in her heart screaming to be mended, but only one thing can fill the void. Shadow. It seems ridiculous, it seems embarrassing even, for Rowan to be so grief stricken by something that—while plausible—might not be true. What is true is that he did leave her this morning and what is true is that Melani is gone.
Her adopted father kept her in her room all her life to protect her, to keep people from betraying and hurting her. She read so many books of betrayal and heartbroken heroines and yet she didn’t see this coming. Now as she is being dragged across Cirvka feeling like a lovestruck fool, she isn’t sure what to do. What to believe. Her trust has been shattered and she isn’t sure what is real. Her mind feels foggy. It feels as though she is simply existing, not living.
Lola brings her to their tent and grabs the third journal her father wrote, the journal she hasn’t gotten to yet. She hands her the book and Rowan raises her eyebrow.
“This is supposed to cheer me up?” Although her father’s words would normally put a smile on her face, she doesn’t feel like reading.
“Now before I say this; yes I know I’m horrible, but while you were getting through journals one and two, I decided to read the third.”
“You read my father’s journal?” She stares down at the wrinkled leather with her father’s emblem in the center of the cover. The journal is worn from months of wear and tear and years of being lugged around by The Overseer. The spine is worn out from being opened so many times. There are loose pages that fell out long ago that are now sticking out giving the journal a messy unorganized look.
“What? I was curious! I’m sorry,” she frowns, “Turn to the sixteenth page,” she points to the journal. Lola steps outside the tent. Rowan knows she didn’t leave, but is right outside to give her her privacy, staying close by just in case.
Rowan counts the pages until she reaches an entry written eighteen years ago. The handwriting is messy with hurried calligraphy and ink smudges. It almost looks like water droplets have stained the page.
I’m excited and scared. I’m overwhelmed and completely at ease. I’m speechless and yet I have so much to say. Etna is pregnant! That means I’m going to be a father. I never thought I would be a father, it’s taken us so long—there have been many failed attempts. Finally; the gods heard my prayers and blessed us with a baby. I never thought I could love someone without knowing them, but I am in love. I hope that one day these journals are passed to my child and I hope as you read this, my child, you know that from the very first moment I have always loved you. No one will love you more than I will and if anyone breaks your heart, I will make them suffer. If anyone hurts a single hair on your head, I will make them suffer. If you are unhappy, then I will suffer with you until I can give you the world. I will give you the world, my dear child.
Little by little her heart starts putting the pieces back together. She sniffles and sobs providing new ink stains to the journal. She wonders then if the water droplets were actually tears from her father. Feeling close to him and reading his words meant for her, makes her feel loved. She felt it in the letter she found a while ago that was specifically addressed to her, but Lola was right about this entry. It feels like a hug from the spirit of her father and a promise that he will be there to help repair what is broken.
Lola walks in wrapping her arms around her from behind. In her ear Lola whispers, “I know it hurts, but we will get through it together.” She knows better than anyone what it’s like to lose someo
ne who has your heart.
Rowan remembers that Lola went through the love of her life dying and experiencing a miscarriage soon after. This is nothing compared to that, Rowan tries tells herself that yet—it doesn’t make this hurt any less. Shadow was the male who brought her to this safe haven. He helped her learn about herself, she watched his compassionate side with Lottie and Melani, and she watched him endure pain and open up about it. She helped tear down his walls and willingly she gave him her heart, and for what? For deception and lies? For confusion and heartbreak?
She is more angry at herself than anyone. Still, she can’t believe she allowed herself to give so much of her heart and trust after such a short period of time. If Lola betrays her the same way, Rowan doesn’t know if she’ll survive it. But she needs the support right now and at this moment, Lola makes her feel wanted and loved. It’s something she has to hold onto while she pulls herself together.
Rowan puts her hand over Lola’s and closes her eyes basking in their closeness. “Thank you for being by my side.”
“Until the very end,” she vows. “Every page from there on out, he talks about how much he loves you. I know that he’s with you in spirit. Even though he never met you, you consumed his every thought and stole all of his love. He’s watching over you, wiping your tears and kissing your forehead.”
“You are never truly alone when the people you love, who may be gone, live in your heart,” she recites her father’s words from the last letter she read.
“He lives within you,” Lola nods.
Rowan and Lola talk most of the afternoon. She goes into depth about last night with Shadow and how they kissed and discussed their lives. She talks about how intense and quickly her feelings grew for Shadow. Then they discuss the conversation she had with Blade and Knot and how heartbroken and confused she feels. Lola has always been good with advice and gives her a heartfelt talk of moving forward.
Rowan starts to feel better letting all the weight of today lift off her shoulders. It’s late when Pepper, Solana, and Lottie retire for the night, getting situated in the tent.
Fight for the Crown Page 18