Wicked Hearts

by L A Cotton

  I dropped my head back against the headrest and closed my eyes. I don’t know why I’d thought, for once, we could have a normal conversation, man to man. Father to son. Most men would have congratulated their sons on a lucky escape. But not my old man. Not Larry Berrick. Better sell my soul to the devil than actually put my needs first.

  “I can see this call isn’t going to go how I hoped.” I blew out an exasperated breath. “I just wanted to let you know what was happening. Sorry I’m such a fucking disappointment to you, Dad. That I’m not prepared to marry a girl I don’t love just so you can brag to your friends that your son is worth something. Don’t bother telling Mom, I’ll call her myself.” I hung up, sparing myself from any more of his condescending bullshit, and I slammed my palms against the steering wheel.

  I’m not sure when things had gone so wrong between me and Dad. It wasn’t always like this. I remembered family days out and goofing around in the yard when I was a kid. But when I hit fourteen and discovered basketball and girls and all the other things most kids my age were doing, he started to come down on me harder. He wanted me to study more, pay less attention to the twin girls who lived in the house across the street. He wanted me to choose homework over the chance to play basketball with my friends. Over time, the more he pushed, the more I pulled until we were travelling in opposite directions. Now, the distance between us seemed further than ever, and I wasn’t sure we’d ever find our way back.

  My cell phone vibrated, and I opened the incoming text.

  Mom: Your father called. If you want to talk, I’m here. Always. Love you, Mom x

  I don’t know what hurt more; that he told her when I told him not to, or that she texted straight away trying to run damage control for his behavior. I knew she meant well. I knew she just wanted to try to smooth things between her husband and her son. But I was so sick of his bullshit. All I wanted to do was call Kiera. I didn’t even want to talk about what had happened with my dad. I just wanted to hear her voice. To let it soothe my restless soul.

  But I couldn’t even do that anymore.

  I’d lost that right when I’d chosen appeasing my old man, fighting for the scraps of his attention, over doing what I wanted.

  What my heart wanted.

  But it was a mistake I wouldn’t make again.

  Chapter 15

  One month later...

  Kiera

  “I THINK I’M READY,” I blurted out to Macey as she led me around the store, pointing out various dresses I had no intention of ever trying on.

  “Ready?” She glanced back, brow raised.

  “Yeah, you know, to sleep with Jack.”

  “Oh, I see.” She went back to the black dress she was stroking.

  I laughed. “What? I tell you I’m ready to have sex and all you have to say is ‘Oh, I see’? Come on, I know you better than that.”

  Macey dropped the dress, shoving it back into its rightful place on the rail and turned around. “I just don’t think he’s right for you.”

  I shrugged. “I’m going to have sex with him, not marry him. Besides, I want to get it over with.”

  “See, that’s exactly why I think you’re making a mistake. After everything...” she took my hand in hers and gave a little sigh. “You deserve more this time around. I want more for you.”

  “Yeah, well.” I yanked my hand free of hers. “It’s my decision and I think I’m ready.” Leaving her standing there, I went to look at another rail of dresses. Prom was in less than a week and I still didn’t have one.

  “Hey,” Macey said over my shoulder. “I’m sorry, that was a shitty thing to say.”

  “Yeah, it was.”

  “I just care about you, a lot, and I don’t want to see you get hurt again.”

  I finally turned around and met her hard gaze, ignoring the words she wasn’t saying. We hadn’t talked about Trey’s engagement. When she tried to bring it up a few weeks ago, I shut her down. I didn’t want to talk about it. About him. I wanted to move on.

  “But that’s just the thing,” I said. “Jack can’t hurt me, Macey. That’s why I know I can do this. We both know we have an expiration date. I’m leaving and he’s... well, he’s got his own shit to figure out. But he makes me laugh and he lets me set the pace. I know you don’t like him, but deep down, Jack is a good guy and I know he won’t hurt me.”

  Her eyes flickered with disbelief, but whatever argument was on the tip of her tongue never came and all she said was, “You’re right, it’s your decision.”

  “It is and I’ve decided. It’s going to happen after Prom.”

  “I’m surprised you’re even going to Prom.” She smiled.

  “I think Mom would drag me there with her bare hands if I tried to get out of it. Besides, I’m in a good place. Things are good.”

  She gave me a strange look again but moved on to another rail of dresses. Part of me thought Macey would be happy for me. She knew the truth. Knew what a big deal this was for me and yet, I couldn’t help but feel like she was disappointed in me. But I was done letting my past define me.

  I’d been dating Jack for months now and we were stronger than ever. Not in the way most couples might be, but then we weren’t most couples. Part of me would even be sad about leaving him when I left for UC San Diego, but he hadn’t brought up what happened after I left and neither had I.

  “This one,” Macey’s voice pulled me from my thoughts. “This is the one.”

  When I turned around, she was holding a black fifties style off-the-shoulder dress overlaid with a lace skirt, and two thick bands of material crisscrossing to create a deep V neckline.

  “It’s beautiful.” And way out of my price range no doubt.

  “You have to try it on.”

  “Macey, I’m not sure.” I tried to read the price tag, but she pulled it out of reach. “Changing rooms, now.”

  “Fine.” I stomped off in the direction of the changing rooms and slipped inside, yanking off my clothes in frustration. I’d wanted to shop at Forever 21 or H&M, but Macey had insisted we look in some of the mall’s more exclusive stores and I agreed because it was easier than arguing. But now I wish I hadn’t. I was going to try the dress on, fall in love, and have to put it back on the rack because unlike Macey I didn’t have an endless supply of money. In fact, I had less than two hundred dollars in my bank account. At least I started my job at Brownie’s diner straight after graduation.

  “Okay, hand me the damn dress.” I stuck my arm out of the curtain and grabbed it. It even felt good. Ugh. Now I really regretted coming here. But I’d gotten more used to sliding into their world over the last couple of months.

  I unzipped the dress and stepped into it. It slid up my body like butter although I struggled to get it zipped back up. When I finally faced the mirror, I gasped.

  “What is it? What’s wrong?” Macey said, her head appearing around the curtain. “Holy shit, Kiera, you look amazing.”

  I did look amazing. The dress cinched in at my waist and flared out over my hips, falling just below my knee. The neckline showed off my small amount of cleavage without being tacky. And the contrast of the black against my pink hair was just how I liked it.

  “I don’t think I’ve ever loved a dress so much.” I don’t think I’d ever loved a dress period. “You’re rubbing off on me, Macey.”

  She rolled her eyes before tugging on the skirt and straightening the layers of lace. “You have to get it.”

  “I can’t afford this. We both know that.”

  “Good job you have a brother who adores you then.”

  My eyes went wide. “What did you just say?”

  “Kyle. I think his exact words were, ‘let her get whatever dress she wants, shoes and all that other shit girls need too’.”

  But he... oh who was I trying to kid? This was exactly the type of thing he would do.

  “Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

  “Because I knew you’d say no and insist on shopping at Forever 21.”
/>
  “There’s nothing wrong with Forever 21.”

  She waved me off. “So, what do you think?”

  “I love it. I really love it.” I could team it with some black wedge pumps and still feel like me. And then my eyes fell on the price tag. “Six hundred dollars. Fuck, I can’t buy a dress that costs six hundred dollars.”

  “Good job you’re not buying it then.” She smirked, she actually smirked.

  “Macey, it’s too much.”

  “It’s not too much. It’s what you deserve. You think Kyle doesn’t carry some serious guilt over how things played out with you and your mom?”

  “Oh, so it’s a pity dress?” The words came out harsher than I intended but I didn’t like the idea that this was somehow supposed to make up for everything.

  “No, it’s not a pity dress. It’s a brother-doing-a-nice-thing-for-his-sister dress.”

  I inspected myself in the mirror again. It was the perfect dress; exactly what I would have picked for myself if I gave two shits about dresses. “I don’t know...”

  “Yes, just say yes.”

  “Okay, yes.”

  Macey shrieked and pulled out her phone, snapping a quick photo of me.

  “What the hell?” I protested, throwing my arms around my chest. “Creeper much?”

  “Well he wants to see it, of course.”

  “Of course,” I grumbled. “But let me text him, okay?”

  She nodded around a huge smile. “Jack is going to die when he sees you in this.”

  “I hope not,” I said. “I kind of need him alive if we’re going to have sex.”

  Her smile slipped and she fake shuddered. “I love you like a sister, but that is a visual I don’t ever need.”

  Poking my tongue out at her, I shooed her out of the stall. When she was gone, I looked at myself again. The girl staring back at me looked like me, but she was different now. Softer around the edges. And honestly, I didn’t know how I felt about that.

  Two years ago, Prom wasn’t even on my radar. Graduation wasn’t something to look forward to at Rotunda High, it was just another day. Another pointless milestone in a life full of them. Thanks to Remy Barton and his cruel game, I was just trying to survive the school.

  I might not have felt like I fit in at Wicked Bay, but after Remy, I didn’t fit in at Rotunda either. He’d made sure of that. At least here, I had friends. I had Jack and Summer and Nick, and I had Kyle and Macey. Even Lo and Laurie. They welcomed me into their circle with no questions asked because I was family. It was as simple as that.

  I pulled out my phone and found Kyle’s number.

  Me: Macey told me about the dress. I want to be pissed at you. I want to say no. But I’m not going to because the dress I found is perfect and I want it. So instead I’m going to say thank you. Thank you for dragging me kicking and screaming into your life. Thank you for opening doors I never dreamed I’d get to walk through. And thank you for being the best big brother a girl could have. I don’t always like you, but I do love you.

  His reply came straight back.

  Kyle: You’re family, it’s what we do.

  I almost called him. My finger hovered over the button, but I wasn’t ready yet. There was still so much we needed to talk about. Him. Me. Mom. One day we needed to have it all out and clear the air; but standing there in a six-hundred-dollar dress, reading his words, I knew for now, this was enough.

  “WELL THAT WAS A FUCKING drag,” Jack grumbled from beside me as we sat in the sleek white limo Gentry and Rebecca had organized for us.

  “I loved it,” Summer sighed, pressing herself closer into Nick’s side. She looked so beautiful in her floor-length pale pink dress. It complemented her tan skin and blonde wavy hair. I’d laughed when they picked me and Jack up from my house in Rotunda Heights. I looked like a pink topped rain cloud and she looked like a flower on a hot summer’s day.

  “It was... nice.” I tried to sound convincing, but the little smirk on Summer’s face told me she knew better. It wasn’t that I’d hated it—the Prom committee had turned The Coastal into something spectacular—I just had bad memories of that place. Ones I’d fought hard to forget over the last few months.

  “Well, this after party is going to blow Prom out of the water,” Jack said pulling out a flask from his jacket pocket. “And I’ve got just the thing to get us in the mood.” He offered it to Nick who declined. Summer too. “K?”

  I eyed the flask knowing it was probably full of whiskey or vodka. But it was Prom, and I had big plans for tonight. Without overthinking it, I snatched it from him, unscrewed the cap and took a swallow. “Holy shit that’s strong.” I wiped the back of my hand across my mouth. The whiskey burned my throat and tasted like utter crap, but I was nervous, and a little Dutch courage wouldn’t hurt.

  Jack went next, downing most of the contents. I placed my hand on his and leaned in, “Don’t get too wasted tonight, okay? I kind of need you sober for what I have planned.”

  His eyes lit up at my words and he crushed his mouth against mine. “Yeah?” he breathed. “For real?”

  I stroked his skinny tie between my fingers. He had refused to get a tux like Nick, but he cleaned up pretty good in his black dress shirt, slacks, and pink skinny tie. Yep, Jack had coordinated his tie with my hair. His efforts didn’t go unnoticed by me or anyone for that fact.

  “So, Summer, do your parents know you’re staying with Nick for the night?” Jack said around a smirk.

  “Hmm.” She tucked her hair behind her ear and blushed. “I didn’t exactly tell them that.”

  “Seriously?” Nick groaned. “I thought you were going to tell them.”

  “I was, but I knew they’d tell my brothers and you know how they can get.”

  The blood drained from Nick’s face and he buried his face in her shoulder. “They’re going to skin me alive.”

  “They won’t. Besides, Kiera is staying with Jack too. If Kyle—”

  “Kyle knows.”

  “He does?” All eyes were on me. I gave a little shrug.

  “He’s my brother, not my keeper. And I’m almost eighteen. Anyways, he’s at college. What’s he going to do? Turn up at the party?”

  The second I said the words dread pooled in my stomach. Jack must have seen my face because he leaned in and said, “Chill, baby, he’s not going to turn up. He wants you to enjoy Prom.”

  Except Prom was done. Now we were on our way to one of the many after parties taking place all over town.

  “Jack’s right,” Summer added. “Kyle wouldn’t ruin this for us.”

  She was right. He was a giant pain in the ass, but Kyle was finally coming around to the notion that his baby sisters were all grown up. He’d even been civil with Jack a couple of weekends ago when he came home for his dad’s birthday, and he’d let me bring him when we went to see Palladium Dreams play at USC.

  “How much further is Tom’s place?” Summer asked.

  “He lives right on the edge of town. His parents just bought this sick house by the ocean. Seriously, wait until you see the view.” Jack slipped his arm around my shoulder.

  “And he’s okay with us staying there? I mean, won’t his parents mind?”

  “His parents are out of town.”

  Of course they were. Because that’s what parents here did; left their kids in mansions to run wild. I still didn’t think I’d ever get used to their lives.

  “Relax, baby.” Jack’s lips brushed the shell of my ear. “It’s going to be great.”

  But the closer we got to Tom’s house, the more my stomach knotted.

  The more I felt like perhaps I was making a huge mistake.

  “I DON’T RECOGNIZE A lot of these people,” I said to Summer as we wound our way through Tom’s house. By the time we’d arrived, the party was in full swing. His parents must have hired people to get it set up because no expense had been spared. There was a table of kegs in the kitchen, ice buckets filled with beer and soda, and a funky looking punch I had no intent
ion of trying. Not to mention all the decorations hanging overhead, congratulating our class on graduating, and the full sound system blasting out music throughout the house and yard.

  “Me neither.” Summer pressed closer into my side. “I thought it was an after party for our class, this looks like—”

  “Chaos.”

  People danced and drank and laughed. We couldn’t even walk through the place without rubbing up against girls and guys I didn’t recognize.

  “Come on,” she said sounding concerned. “We don’t want to lose the guys.”

  We found Jack and Nick getting drinks in the kitchen. They were talking to Tom and his date. “Ladies,” our host drawled. Eyes glassy, smile wide, he was already buzzed. “Looking fine.”

  “Hi,” we both said. Jack didn’t look fazed at all, but Nick seemed to share our confusion.

  “So, hmm, who are all these people?” I asked.

  Tom grinned. “My cousin is in town, so I extended the invitation. But don’t worry about it, they’re good people.” A loud crashing noise pierced the air and his gaze went wide as something caught his eye. “Oh shit, someone just smashed my mom’s plant pot. I’ll be right back.” He disappeared with his date trailing after him.

  Jack handed me a Solo cup of something, and I sniffed the contents. “It’s just a vodka and coke.”

  “Okay, thanks.”

  “This is crazy, man.” Nick scanned the kitchen. It was a huge open plan design with a family area one end and the counters the other. A flat screen TV hung on the far wall currently showing some sexy music video.

  Jack shrugged. “It’s all good. Tom said his cousin was good people. And look there’s the swim team and I think I spotted the debate team earlier. I mean if it’s good enough for the debate team, it’s good enough for us, right?” He smirked.

  “I guess,” Nick agreed.

  We’d chosen Tom’s party because he and Jack were good friends and he’d offered Jack—and the rest of us—a place to crash. But after seeing how many people were here, I was beginning to think maybe we’d made the wrong call.