by L A Cotton
Jack-ass.
My hands gripped the steering wheel tighter as Jack trailed behind her. He slung his arm over her shoulder and guided her down the steps toward the beach. They paused and he turned her into him. It was like watching a train wreck in slow motion, knowing it was about to happen and being able to do fuck all to stop it. His hand went to her cheek, stroking her soft skin. She gazed up at him, the way a girl looked at a guy as if he hung the moon. Then he kissed her.
I couldn’t do anything but watch.
Even now, watching his lips move over hers, his hand glide to her ass, squeezing gently, I still imagined it was me.
It should have been me.
Except it wasn’t.
It never would be.
“YOU WANT ANOTHER ONE?” Aaron held up his bottle and waved it in front of my eyes.
“Get me a Jack and Coke.”
“It must be bad,” he said.
You don’t know the fucking half of it.
Aaron went to the bar leaving me alone with my half-drunk beer and a whole load of regrets. Regrets about Kiera. Regrets about Callie. For how I spoke to my mom earlier.
Shit.
I was drunk. And instead of feeling numb, drowning in the warm trickle of alcohol in my veins, I felt like shit. After seeing Kiera with him at the beach, I’d called up a couple of old friends who I knew were still in The Bay to see if they wanted to meet up for a drink. Aaron said yes. But now I was here, nursing a beer and a wicked headache, I knew I’d made yet another bad decision.
“One Jack and Coke.” Aaron slid the glass my way before taking his seat. “You look like shit, Berrick. If I’d have known you wanted to drown your sorrows in the bottom of a glass, I would’ve been too busy washing my hair.” He smirked but I couldn’t blame him if it was the truth. “So bad break up, huh?”
“How’d you—”
“My mom saw your mom at the spa.” Of course, she fucking did. I couldn’t catch a break. “Said you broke off your engagement to Callie.”
“I was never...” I scrubbed my face, “It doesn’t matter. It’s done.”
Aaron sat back, running a hand through his hair. “I still can’t believe you bagged Callie Timson. Did you know her old man made the Forbes’ ‘ones to watch’ list back in the day?”
“I really don’t want to talk about it,” I groaned, downing my Jack and Coke in one.
“Shit, man, you are drowning. At least you can enjoy the perks of being on the rebound.”
My brows knitted and he laughed. “Oh Jesus, she really did a number on you. You need to get back on the horse. Find some hot little freshman and fuck Callie Timson right out of your mind.”
“I’m not sure about that.” There was only one girl I wanted to fuck, and she was neither a freshman or available.
“What about someone more local?” His brows rose as something caught his attention over my shoulder. “Fuck, Shelbie Tanner is hot. I’ve been trying to tap that for years. She always did have a thing for you, right? Let’s invite them over.”
“Let’s not,” I grumbled under my breath, but it was too late when I heard, “Trey, Aaron, what a surprise.” A perfectly manicured hand landed on my arm and I lifted my eyes to hers.
“Shelbie,” I ground out already eyeing the bar. I needed more drink if I was going to survive Shelbie Tanner and her fake tits and come-fuck-me eyes.
“OH, SHIT, I CAN’T SEE anything.” Shelbie fumbled in the dark, trying to find the light switch.
“Isn’t this your apartment?”
“Yeah.” She dragged me inside. “But I only moved in last week. Come on, I’ll give you the tour in the morning.”
Shelbie never did find the switch, leading me down a small hall in the darkness. Light seeped out of an open door and she pulled me inside. “Get naked, Trey, now.” Her eyes moved hungrily down my body as she began slowly stripping out of her dress. If I’d have been sober, I probably would have appreciated her soft curves, the way her tits spilled out of her dress. As it was, I wasn’t, and kicking off my jeans was proving to be a fucking nightmare.
She giggled, dropping on the bed in nothing but her baby blue bra and panties. “Come here.” Curling her finger, she beckoned me over and like the drunk horny fuck-up I was, I went willing.
Shelbie was wild. Clawing at my shoulders, her mouth devouring mine so ferociously I thought she might eat me.
“Whoa, easy,” I slurred, falling on top of her and pinning her wrists to the bed.
“I’m sorry,” she panted, trailing a finger up my chest. “I just really, really can’t wait to feel you again.”
“I...” She looked like an angel staring up at me. If angels were temptresses wearing blue lacy underwear. Her blonde hair spilled around her like a halo, her lips were swollen and pink. But she was all wrong. Her hair was the wrong color and her eyes didn’t hold the right kind of sadness.
“Fuck.” I said scrambling off her. “I can’t do this. I can’t—”
“You’ve got to be kidding me?” Gone was her saccharine voice, replaced with something that resembled a woman scorned. “You were two seconds away from fucking me and what? You’ve had a sudden change of heart?”
I was already yanking on my jeans, searching her apartment floor for my t-shirt. “This was a mistake,” I said barely able to look at her.
“Fucking loser,” she muttered, pulling the sheets over her almost naked body. “Don’t let the door hit you on the way out.”
I grabbed my sneakers and got the fuck out of there.
Shelbie had offered it up to me on a silver platter and part of me had wanted to do it, to fuck her and forget Kiera. But how did you forget the one person you wanted more than anything? The one person you loved so much it hurt?
You didn’t.
I’d made the right choice tonight. If only I’d made the right choice back then. If only I hadn’t pushed Kiera away when she was offering everything I’d wanted—and needed.
But I had.
I’d made a lot of fucking mistakes when it came to her.
And now I’d lost her for good and I had to live with that.
Chapter 18
Kiera
“Have you got everything you need?” I asked Jack as he zipped up his bag.
It was the first week of the summer break and Jack was leaving. He was going to his grandpa’s for the summer to figure stuff out. I think his parents had finally had enough of their son drifting through life. Jack didn’t say they were sending him, but his announcement had come out of the blue. It wasn’t like I could be annoyed, not really. I never gave him the impression our relationship would extend past the summer and he never asked. Now here we were.
“Yeah, I think so.”
“I guess this is it then?” I twiddled my hands in my lap.
“Come here.” He opened his arms and I went willingly, falling into his embrace.
“I’ll miss you, K.”
“Yeah, me too.” My chest tightened as I wrapped my arms around him.
After Prom things between us had been different, and for a minute, I thought he might want more. But in true Jack-fashion he never brought it up. So while part of me was surprised when he dropped it on me he was leaving for the summer, what could I say? It wasn’t like I wanted him to stay. I was leaving in a few weeks myself.
“You’re going to do great things with your life, Kiera.” He pulled back, gazing at me with a softness he rarely showed. He looked as if he wanted to say more, but the words never came and that was okay. Dipping his head, he brushed his lips over mine. I kissed him back, sliding my fingers into his hair, tangling my tongue with his. It was nice... safe, but it didn’t send my body alight. Not the way it should have.
And as we stood there, wrapped in each other’s arms, our lips saying all the things we never would, I think we both knew this was goodbye.
“I CAN’T BELIEVE HE just left.” Summer slurped her milkshake, her blue eyes watching me as I wiped down the counter for the sixth time tha
t morning.
“It is what it is,” I said with a soft shrug. It was a couple of days after Jack had left and apparently Summer was having a harder time accepting the news than me. “He needs to figure some stuff out, and his grandpa has a place out in Nevada.”
“I know but it’s summer and after... everything, I thought. I don’t know. I guess I thought—”
“Summer, I’m fine. I always knew Jack and I had an expiration date. I’m going to college soon. A long-distance relationship was never part of the plan.”
Her brows pinched as she twirled the straw in her glass. “You’re being so... cool about this whole thing. He literally just upped and left and you’re so calm.”
“Because I am calm,” I laughed softly as I straightened out the menus. A week into my summer job at Brownie’s, and I already hated the sight of burgers and fries. Not to mention the god-awful smell of grease that clung to every inch of me, but it was a job and the pay was decent. Besides, I needed all the money I could save before I left for San Diego in nine weeks.
Nine more weeks before I was out of here.
It’s all I’d wanted since starting junior year at Wicked Bay High, and yet, now it was almost here, I had a constant knot in my stomach. But I needed a fresh start. I needed to carve my own path out from under my brother’s family and the permanent shadow of Mom’s past. And maybe Summer was right? Maybe I should have felt something more about Jack up and leaving for the summer, but the truth was, I didn’t. In some ways, I was relieved.
But I didn’t regret a single thing. He’d been what I needed at the time. Now he was gone and I’d had some time to reflect on everything, I realized I’d probably gravitated toward him because he was like me. An outsider. A black sheep in a field of fluffy perfect white ones. Neither of us liked to conform. But when it came down to it, I had a plan for my future, and he didn’t. I knew where I wanted to go, and Jack was all too happy to see where the road took him.
We were the same, and yet, everything about us was different.
And that was okay.
“Did you really have to take on extra shifts?” Summer asked, changing the subject.
I gave her a small shrug. “I need the extra money.”
“I know, but I miss you.” Her eyes fluttered as she pouted, but it looked all wrong on her. “It’s going to be a lonely summer with you working here all the time.”
“Kyle will be home next month. And Nick’s only doing a couple of shifts a week at his dad’s office, isn’t he?”
“I guess.” Her expression closed off and I wondered if there was more to her and Nick than she was letting on, but every time I asked, she said they were fine. “It’s the summer before we all go off to college though. I just feel like we should be making the most of it, you know?”
“We can still hang out. I won’t be here all the time.” The doorbell jangled and a group of kids walked in. “Duty calls,” I said grabbing some menus. “But I’ll text you later, okay?”
Summer gave me a little smile and dug out her purse. “Don’t work too hard,” she said. “All work and no play makes Kiera a dull girl.”
She was joking, but I couldn’t help but bristle at her words. Even now, it was easy for her to forget I didn’t have a trust fund for college, and although I’d gotten a partial scholarship, I’d still need financial aid and a job once I moved to San Diego. It would be hard work and I’d probably have to live on peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for most of freshman year, but at least I’d know I’d worked for them.
I reached the booth the group of kids had situated themselves at and plastered on my best fake-smile. “Welcome to Brownie’s. I’m Kiera, I’ll be your server today. Can I get you some drinks?”
A couple of guys nudged each other, their eyes giving me the once over. It wasn’t anything I wasn’t used to by now, but each time, I couldn’t help but wonder what they saw. The pink hair. The tattoos and my latest piercings—one in my daith and one in my anti-tragus. My trusty black Doc Martens and smudged black eyeliner. I didn’t look like the other servers here: Beach Party Barbies all hoping to score big tips and some hot guy’s number at the end of their shift. The uniform Mr. Brown had us wear was simple: a black tank top, denim shorts or jeans or a skirt, and a dark-gray apron with a matching ball cap. The rest of the girls managed to make it look sexy, but I wasn’t here to flaunt myself. I was here to work my hours and pick up my check.
I took the group’s drinks order and rang it through, leaving them to look over the menu. It wouldn’t be the lunch hour rush for another hour or so, but we usually had a steady stream of customers throughout the day. Enough to keep me busy.
The doorbell jangled again, but this time when I looked up, I did a double take.
Trey.
My heart beat wildly in my chest as I gaped at the sight of him, standing there in the doorway.
What was he doing here?
In town?
His eyes found me across the room, and he hesitated, before stealing a quick breath and heading straight for me. “Hey,” he said. “I didn’t expect to see you here.”
He didn’t expect to see me here?
He was the last person I expected to see here.
“I... I work here,” I said, flinching at how pathetic I sounded. But I still couldn’t believe he was here, in my diner.
It didn’t make any sense.
“So I can see.” His eyes grazed my body slowly, taking in every inch of me. I returned the favor. I couldn’t help it. My eyes had a mind of their own, running over his face, his slight five o’clock shadow, over the plaid button-down shirt he was wearing, right down to his black slacks and dress shoes.
“You look... different.”
The corner of his mouth kicked up. “I’m working at my dad’s place for the summer... Berrick’s Automotives. It’s right—”
“Around the block.” I passed it every morning. “Shouldn’t you be in Beverly Hills? With... Callie?” Even now, after everything, saying her name caused a sharp pain in my chest.
Trey’s brows crinkled. “Callie? Why would I be... oh shit.” The color drained from his face. “You don’t know.”
“Know?”
My fingers curled around the edge of the counter, bracing myself for whatever he could possibly have to say now. Were they getting married? Already? They had only been engaged a few weeks. It was soon. Really fucking soon. But maybe something had happened. Maybe she was pregnant?
Oh God, was she going to have Trey’s baby?
Waves of nausea washed over me, and I sucked in a harsh breath, tightening my grip on the counter.
“Kiera, are you okay?” He sounded concerned. Why did he sound so fucking concerned?
“Fine.” I waved him off. “I’m fine. You were saying?” This was surreal. I’d been so surprised seeing him here, I’d had no time to think about what to say or do and now I’d walked right into another ambush.
Trey didn’t speak; he just looked at me in that intense, disarming way of his. As if he was memorizing every inch of my face. And then he said, “Me and Callie aren’t engaged.”
“You aren’t? But I thought—”
“We were never engaged.” His eyes shuttered as he inhaled a deep breath. “It’s a long story, one I thought someone might have told you. Anyway, I’d really like to tell you some time. You know, if you want?” His eyes darted around me as he rubbed the back of his neck. “But I need to grab two coffees and get back to my old man before he has a coronary.”
“Y- yes, of course.” I hurried to the coffee maker, unsure which question I was answering, and started his order. Still reeling from his admission, I was grateful for the chance to remind myself to breathe.
They weren’t engaged.
They were never engaged.
Why was he acting so calm about all this when I was barely able to form words?
I gave him the two coffees to go, and rang up the total. “That’s five dollars fifty please.”
“Here you go
.” He handed me ten dollars. “Keep the change.” Trey reached for the drinks, grazing my fingers with his. I snatched my hand back and thrust it behind me. “Sorry about that,” I mumbled. “I just... this is weird. I didn’t think—”
“Kiera, it’s okay. I get it.” He gave me a half-smile—one that seemed sad and happy all at the same time—and my stomach knotted. “It was good seeing you again. I guess I’ll see you around.” His eyes lingered for a second longer and then just like that, Trey was gone.
TWO MINUTES.
That’s all it took for Trey Berrick to swoop into my life and turn everything upside down. I’d spent the rest of my shift trying to remember orders and pay attention to the service counter when really all I wanted was to go home, dive under my covers, and dissect my conversation with Trey.
He was back in town for the summer, working at his dad’s business.
And he wasn’t engaged.
He. Wasn’t. Engaged.
I didn’t know what to do with that. No one had said a word to me about it. Macey must have known she went to the same college so she must have heard about it; the ending of Trey and Callie’s relationship would have been huge news on campus. I knew she was probably only protecting me, but I couldn’t help the sting of betrayal I felt.
God, I was a mess.
I slowed down when I reached Trey’s father’s lot, my eyes searching for any signs of him. It was hard to believe I’d walked past this place every day for the last week and never noticed him.
“Fancy seeing you here,” His voice startled me, sending my heart into another frenzy, and I spun around to come face to face with two ocean-blue eyes.
Eyes I’d tried so hard to forget but never had.
“I... hmm... hi.”
“Hi.” He smiled down at me. “Looking for someone?” His brow rose playfully.