by Brian Olsen
I rest my hands on his shoulders. “Tannyl. Mrs. Wollard was going to kill me, and maybe all of you. I’ve always used my magic better when there’s immediate danger. Ask Nate, ask Alisa. There’s nothing new going on here.”
He looks back at me for a long moment before nodding. “As you say. I will keep my doubts to myself.”
“Thank you.”
“For now.”
He opens the back door. I hear a loud voice yelling, “—scared us half to death, Nate Jonathan Montgomery! If you’re not going to use that phone then maybe you shouldn’t—” Tannyl steps inside. “And you! A guest in our home! We are responsible for you, young man—”
I hurry back to Zane, out of the kitchen window’s line of sight. “Ready to go?”
He sends one last message, then puts his phone back in his pocket. “I’m coming to your house.”
“Don’t you need to get home?”
He taps his pocket. “Texted my mom. Told her we fell asleep at Jasmine’s and apologized like crazy. I asked if I could keep hanging out there and she said okay.”
“She did? I thought she was stricter than that.”
He kicks at a clump of dirt. “Your dad called last night, looking for you.”
“He did? Crap.” I haven’t told Dad I’m dating Zane.
“Alisa’s mom told him I’ve been hanging out with all of you. Your dad didn’t say anything to my mom about you and I being together, but she’s starting to suspect there’s something going on between us. And she doesn’t want to deal with it. So she was happy to hear I spent the night at a girl’s.”
“Oh.” I take his hands. “Sorry.”
“I need to tell her I’m gay and get it over with.” He smiles, just a little. “Haven’t had much time, with everything going on. Anyway, I’m clear now to come to your place, if that’s okay.”
“Yeah, of course. I’ll have to sneak you in but that shouldn’t be too hard. And I’m just gonna crash, if you were thinking of…you know.” I swing his hands out to the side and back. “Round two.”
“Round two?” He laughs. “So romantic.”
I wince and laugh at myself. God, I’m hopeless. “You sure you don’t want to go home and sleep in your own bed, is what I’m asking?”
He slides his hands around my back and kisses me. “We’re all so tired, we’re acting like the bad guys are gonna take a break while we sleep. But the Nightmare Queen is after us now, which means Mr. Miller is, too. And Mr. Liefer is going to find out what happened in London, and then he’s going to come for you. I plan on being there when anything goes down. Consider me stuck to your side until this is all over.”
“My big butch hero.”
“Damn right.”
I kiss him. “Okay then.”
I teleport us to the side of my house, underneath my bedroom window. “Wait here. I’ll figure out how to get you in.”
“Can’t you pop me into your bedroom?”
“I can only teleport where the sun is shining, so no indoors. Maybe I can fly you in through the window. Hold tight and be quiet.”
I go around to the front porch and peep in. It’s still early and I don’t see any lights on. I try the door and it’s unlocked, so I slip in as quietly as I can.
Through the arch into the living room I see a pair of legs. My dad, asleep in the big chair next to the couch. Still dressed. Shoot.
I pull the door shut. If I get upstairs, I can pretend I got in a few hours ago.
“Chris?” Dad’s voice is slurred from sleep. “Chris, is that you?”
Crap. “Yeah, Dad. I’m home.”
He jumps up and hurries into the foyer, rubbing his eyes. “Oh, god, Chris, where the hell were you?”
“Sorry, Dad, I—”
He hugs me. “Don’t scare me like that. I called and texted you all night. I called your friends, I called your mother. I even called that awful Winarski woman. Nobody knew where you were.”
Oh, damn. Here it comes. I can feel it. I can’t stop it.
I hug my dad back and cry into his shoulder. Heaving, ugly sobs. I’m so tired and I don’t want to be strong anymore. I want my dad to fix everything.
Dad holds me tighter. “Chris, Chris, sshh. It’s all right. It’s all right, hero. It’s going to be all right.”
I just cry. I hug him tighter and cry. He holds onto me.
“I’m sorry,” I finally manage to choke out. “I’m sorry, Dad.”
He puts his hands on my shoulders and pulls me back so he can look at me. “Chris, talk to me. Please. I only called Mrs. Winarski because Mrs. Green told me Zane has been spending time with you and your friends. That little rat-bastard. Pardon my French. Is this about him? Did he hurt you?”
“No! No. Zane’s great, Dad.”
He frowns. “Zane Winarski? Great? Since when?”
“Since…”
I swallow.
Time for some truth.
Here we go.
“Since Zane and I started dating.”
Twenty-three
Dad looks blank-faced at me for a second, than laughs, then goes blank again. “What?”
“Yeah. Since right before prom.”
He drops his hands from my shoulders. He lets out a long breath, starts to say something, then shakes his head and walks back into the living room.
“Dad?” I follow him. “Dad, please say something.”
He drops onto the couch and covers his face with his hands, then drags them roughly down his cheeks. He smack his face a few times, then takes a breath. “All right, hero. Needed a second to process that. Zane Winarski? Zane Winarski, who made you scared to go to school? Who called you horrible names, including several nasty synonyms for gay? Who used to hit you, for…” He thrusts his hands into his blond hair and collapses against the back of the couch. “He hit you, Chris! He punched you!”
“Years ago, Dad.”
“That’s not—” He takes another calming breath. “That doesn’t make it all right, Chris. You deserve better than that.”
“He is better, Dad.” I run around the coffee table to sit next to him. “He’s apologized for all that, Dad. He’s changed.”
Dad shakes his head. “This wasn’t that long ago, Chris. Only a couple of years. At your age a couple of years feels like forever, but people don’t change that fast, hero.”
They can change even faster than that, if magic’s involved. “He did, Dad. He did.”
He shifts sideways and grabs my knee. “He didn’t just put you and Nate through hell, you know.”
“I know.”
“Your mother and I, and the Montgomerys, we spent all of elementary school trying to fix this. We tried to get your principal fired, did you know that?”
My face feels flush, but cold, and I can’t look him in the face. “No.”
“Even some of your teachers complained but that useless principal, she wouldn’t do a thing. Do you know the fights we got in with Zane’s parents? ‘Boys being boys,’ Ed Winarski would just say. And the mother twisted it around, put the blame on you and Nate. Ugh.” He clenches his fists. “Awful people. Awful.”
“Zane’s not like that.”
“Chris!” He jumps up. “God damn it.” He storms around the table and paces back and forth. “Why him? What happened to Derek from last year? We liked him. Isn’t there somebody at the Center? You used to go on dates with boys from there all the time. Were none of them mean enough? Violent enough? I don’t get it, Chris, I just don’t.” He rubs the bridge of his nose. “Is this about your mother? Are you getting back at—”
“No!” I stand up. “No, Dad, no, it’s nothing to do with that! Zane and I started seeing each other before Mom left.”
Dad stiffens when I say, ‘Mom left.’ I know he’s torn between reassuring me she’ll be back and yelling more about Zane.
“Dad, do you trust me?”
“What? Of course I do.” He puts a hand to his forehead. “But you’re still a kid, Chris. You’re very mature, b
ut you’re still a kid.”
“Am I dumb kid? Have I ever been a dumb kid?”
“No. No, of course not. You’re brilliant.”
“Then trust that I’m not being dumb now. Zane and I aren’t ignoring how he used to treat me. Really, we’re not. We’ve talked about it. A lot. We’ll keep talking about it. But he’s a good person now, Dad. He is. He’s brave, and kind, and funny, and…and…” I hug myself. “And he’s good to me. He cares about me.”
“I don’t know, hero.” He shakes his head. “I hear you. But I don’t know.”
“I need you to know, Dad. I need you to.”
“What?”
I come around the table to him and grab his hand. He looks down, surprised at the gesture.
“I need you to believe that people can change, Dad.” My voice breaks. “Please. Tell me you believe that bad things we’ve done in the past don’t have to define us. Please.”
He searches my face. “Chris…”
“Please, Dad.”
He cups my cheek in his hand. “Of course I do, Chris. When you put it like that. Of course I believe that. Nobody is beyond forgiveness.” He squeezes my hand. “Not even Zane Winarski.”
I start to cry again. Dad holds me.
“Hey, hey, hey,” he says. “It’s okay. I trust you, Chris. I trust you and I love you, always and forever.”
I hold him tighter. I give out one last sob.
He rubs my back. “But no more crying about boys. That’s a new house rule. Trust me, they’re not worth it.”
I step back and wipe my eyes. “Okay.”
He points a finger at me. “I’m still not completely convinced. You’re bringing him over for dinner. Soon. This week.”
I nod. “Yeah. That’d be great.”
“But not his parents. My forgiveness only stretches so far.”
I laugh and wipe my nose with the back of my hand. “He’s not out to them yet, so that’s probably for the best.”
“Oh.” Dad scratches his chin. “Well, maybe we can help him with that, when he’s ready.”
Help a kid he hates. That’s my dad.
Dad grabs a propped-open book from the coffee table. “What does Nate think about this?”
“He’s…warming to the idea.”
Dad chuckles. “I’m sure. So.” He places a bookmark between the open pages and snaps the book shut. “Where were you last night?”
My smile drops. “What?”
He shakes the book at me. “You think that beautiful moment we just shared erased my memory? Where were you all night? Not—” He sucks in a breath. “Not…alone with Zane, were you? I mean, you’re not…yet?”
“No!” Yes, and it was awesome. “No, Dad, of course not!”
“Oh.” He exhales. “Whoo. Okay. Not that you can’t…I mean, I know you have, with Derek, we talked about that. I really liked Derek, did I mention that? But…you’ve been dating Zane such a short time, and it’s Zane Winarski, and— We can still talk about it, if you’re having feelings—”
“Dad, I want to finish this conversation about as much as you do.”
He nods. “Yeah. Good. We’ll put a pin in that for now. So. Where were you, and why didn’t you call?”
“I was at Jasmine’s. We all went there after school. I turned my phone off and lost track of time. We were watching movies and I didn’t realize how long we’d been there until the sun came up.”
“I called Jasmine’s parents. They’re away.”
“Yeah. That’s why we went to her place.”
He sighs. “Okay. I’m not happy about that. Anything else?” He waves his book around. “While we’re getting everything out in the open?”
I should tell him. About me, the Moment, logomancy, everything. He’s going to find out. I am literally on the news right now flying and making fire and teleporting. He’s going to find out. He’s going to find out today.
But maybe not. Maybe something will happen. It seems impossible that it could all just go away, but the stuff at the mall did. Magic can do anything, after all. If I can just get some sleep, I can think of something. Put off this conversation a little longer. Keep Dad in the normal world instead of pulling him into mine. Keep him somebody I can come home to. Somebody Mom can come home to.
“No,” I say. “That’s it. Sorry I’ve kept Zane from you all this time.
“I knew something’s been bothering you. I’m glad you finally told me. Now go get some sleep. We’ll talk more when you’re not so wiped out.” He smooths out my hair and gives me a sad smile. “Your mom loves you, Chris. You know that, right?”
No. “Yeah. Of course.”
“I called her last night to see if she had heard from you. She said she was sure that wherever you were, you were okay. Mothers know these things, I guess.”
Or she wasn’t worried because she’s working with the Nightmare Queen, who told her exactly where I was. “Thanks, Dad. Good night.”
He laughs. “Good morning, you mean. I’ll keep it quiet down here. Get some rest, hero.”
As I hurry upstairs my phone buzzes. I go into my room, close and lock the door then take my phone out.
A message from Zane. “Where are you? U ok?”
I go to the window and throw it open. My no-longer-secret boyfriend looks up at me. I mouth, “Sorry.”
I think he’s too heavy for me to fly with, but I guess I can try. There’s no easy way for him to climb up. My room is above the garage so at least Dad won’t see us out the window.
I start to swing my leg out but Zane puts up a hand to stop me. He looks all around to see that nobody’s watching, and then he rises straight up. A pillar of shadow forms beneath him, growing from the ground and lifting him along with it. I step back a little and watch his beautiful face rise up to meet me.
He climbs in. “Cool, huh?”
“Yeah. When did you learn that?”
“Right now. I’ve been doing little things, like the sculpture I showed you. That was solid so I thought maybe I could make something more substantial that would support my weight.”
“Look at you, getting all master logomancer on me.” I put my arms around him. “You were being modest before.”
He smiles. “Yeah. You’re not the only one who can learn new tricks, it turns out.”
My smile fades. “Guess so. Um. I wanna go right to sleep. Is that okay?”
“Yeah, me too. Your dad’s not going to walk in, is he?”
I shake my head. “Door’s locked. Just don’t make any noise.”
I close the window and pull the curtain, making the room as dark as I can. We slip off our clothes and get into bed. I lie on my side, facing away, and he wraps his arms around my chest. He kisses the back of my neck once, then lays his head down.
I hold his hands in mine and close my eyes.
“Oh.” My voice is heavy from drowsiness. “I told my dad about us.”
Zane’s head lifts. “You what?”
“He wants you to come for dinner this week.”
“He what?”
“It’s fine. It’s all good.” I yawn. “We can talk about it when we wake up.”
“Oh, yeah.” His head hits the pillow again. “I’ll sleep like a baby now.”
I pull his arms tighter around me.
I listen to Zane’s breathing. In, out, in, out, getting slower.
Just a hint of a snore.
I want to sleep.
Just sleep.
No dreams. No nightmares. No memories.
No barren plain. No floating room.
Zane’s breath on my neck.
Let me sleep in peace.
Sleep.
Zane is gone.
My bedroom is gone.
I am gone.
I’m in another place, and all around me, people are screaming.
Twenty-four
“Keep the guard outside the village, Baroness.” I raise my voice a little. Even though we’re still on the outskirts, the screams of terror co
ming from the little hamlet are surprisingly loud. “Muln and I will go in alone.”
“My Lord, is that wise?” Baroness Chand was one of the first nobles to join my cause. She had a long-standing feud with a clan of giants whose lands bordered hers, and was happy to swear her allegiance once I’d rid her people of them. Her years of military experience made her one of my finest generals. “King Yar’s army is not far off. They have centaur archers who are said to be able to hit a target from—”
“I’m sorry, Baroness.” I step away from the boy reaching out to me for help, leaving him moaning and spasming on the road. “I can’t hear you over all these screams. Whose army?”
She stiffens. “Forgive me, my Lord. I meant Yar, the traitor to humanity. His army.”
“Ah, him. Don’t fret, Chand. Yar is done for, and he knows it. He can’t spare the troops to hunt me down.”
“Still, I’d feel more comfortable—”
I’m just about to singe her hair for arguing with me when Muln intervenes. He always knows when to step in and when to let me be.
“The Common King has my protection, Baroness.” The old man tugs on the simple brown robe draped over his saggy frame. “I’ll project an illusion around the village, hiding it from view. No archer will spot us.”
I gesture towards my elderly friend. “There, you see? Perfectly safe.”
“As you say, my Lord.” She bows sharply, then turns and barks orders at the small contingent of troops we took on this little side-quest.
I tap my chin. “Should I start having them call me ‘Your Majesty’ now, do you think? Or is it too soon?”
“I’d wait until your coronation,” he replies. “We don’t want to tarnish your ‘common man’ reputation by assuming the title before you’ve got the crown. People will think you’re putting on airs.”
“Hm. Good point.” A woman’s shriek pierces my ears. “Ugh. Is this really necessary, Muln? Can’t we come back for her later? The war’s going to be over by the time we get back. That new logomancer you picked up…what’s her name? The one with the ice?”
“Kelle Gerddinchild.”
“Kelle. I like her but she’s awfully keen. If I find out she’s put an icicle through Yar’s chest before I’ve had a chance to kill him myself—”